Men And Women Share The Gender Double Standard They Have The Biggest Problem With.
Everybody, at some point in their lives, gets faced with an unfair double standard. We've all been there.
Here are people's most frustrating double standards they've had to deal with.
Many thanks to the Redditors who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article.
1. I'm a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6 year old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3 year old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying "I'm gonna get ya!" in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3 year old cousin, takes the 6 year old and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it's been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I'm seen as a predator.
2. Men do not want sex 24/7, maybe some do, but I imagine most don't.
And I used to really hate it in my last relationship where if my girlfriend turned down sex it was totally normal and ok and I need to respect her wishes but if I turned down sex it had an incredible emotional effect on her because all men always want sex and if I don't want sex it must be because I no longer find her attractive.
Now, that relationship wasn't the most healthy give and take in the world but I still feel like in the back of every woman's mind that if their boyfriend turns them down they're probably feeling this even just a little.
3. I did a lot of things for my boyfriend at uni (cleaned his room, cleaned his toilet, made him food, etc) but as soon as he made me the occasional cup of tea? Well, our housemate started openly accusing him of being "whipped" , "less of a man for bowing down" and that I was a "manipulative bitch" that forced him into making me tea (whilst making his own may I add, not just mine). Yeah, we don't live with him anymore.
4. That part of being a man is being disposable and no one caring if your life ends up ruined.
We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women's right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women's issues, and those are all important things to discuss. There are also some things we don't hear about as often:
What we don't hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.
We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don't compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men do - but we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to ruin their lives at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.
5. As a male teacher it really makes me mad that I can't console any student in a nurturing way, because its frowned upon to give a student a hug. On the contrary a female teacher can literally have a student sit on her lap during read aloud, I do this I'm on a one way ticket to the dog pound.
6. Me as a woman: "I'm a Seahawks fan"
Men: "Really? What's Pete Carroll's blood type? Who was the second string left tackle in 1982? How many tickets sold at the Seahawks-Dolphins game in 1996"
Like come on guys.... you don't know that stuff about your teams either. Same goes for video games.
7. As a woman, I can't stand how other women throw the word 'creep' around when referring to a guy that they don't find attractive.
I've encountered real male creeps before. And by 'creep', I mean, guys that don't back off when I've given clear signs that I'm not interested, don't respect my boundaries, taking up skirt photos/videos, getting angry/violent when I turn them down, stalking me, etc.
If a guy is unattractive, he's not a creep; he's just unattractive. I can't stand hearing stories from female friends about them getting hit on by a guy that isn't their type/don't live up to their standards of attractiveness and writing him off as a creep.
I feel like it cheapens the word 'creep' when there are REAL creeps out there who truly deserve the title.
I guess the male equivalent would be guys writing girls off as 'crazy', which is just as frustrating.
8. One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk woman started grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate.
While this was happening, I thought "If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door head-first." Instead, people just laughed.
9. Women are supposed to love children. Men who love children are pedos.
I'm a childfree woman in my thirties. Have nothing against them, I just don't want my own, and prefer not to baby-sit (although I still do sometimes for friends and family). People still assume that I'll change my mind, that I should jump at the chance to spend time with children, or that there is something inherently wrong with me.
On the flip side, if men really want kids, want to work with kids, or love baby-sitting - they're eyed with suspicion. It's one of the double-standards that I think has a negative effect for both genders.
10. When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face "Couldn't become a doctor, huh?"
11. I'm a stay-at-home father because I'm taking care of my wife and I's 2 year old son. My wife's got a career that's promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the "Why doesn't he have a job" and "He's a deadbeat dad" routine but if I was a woman I'm sure I'd hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.
12. Women having to shave their whole body otherwise we are branded as unclean and disgusting by men who have hair all over their body.
Literally men calling women disgusting for not shaving their armpits while they wear a singlet bearing their armpit hair for all to see.
13. If a guy turns down a woman because of the size of her breasts, body type or over all appearance he is being shallow but if a woman turns down a guy because of his height, it's ok....
Seriously I am a girl and this makes me so annoyed!
14. OK, one thing that bugs me is how women are expected to be great cooks and guys not so much. In fact, my parents discouraged me growing up to learn how to cook until I was a young adult because they told me I needed to be motivated to find a wife to cook for me.
Now that I am older and actually enjoy cooking, I think it is a stupid double standard. If anything, both guys and girls SHOULD both learn how to cook. It is a useful life skill to have. And it is fun.
15. When I (and other ladies) make a really cool scientific discovery, it's all "woman scientist" blah blah and talk about how I 'sacrificed family' or juggled family...etc etc etc
Why can't it just be "scientist" and "because they are smart and worked hard?" Like with dudes?
16. Men being loud and slightly aggressive is good and being assertive. Women doing the same makes them bossy.
17. When I was a basketball player, journalists, including girls at my school, were allowed in the locker rooms no matter what. They essentially all got to watch us shower and change after every game. No matter how hard you tried to protect your modesty, you were going to be seen naked plenty.
At my same school, reporters were not allowed in the women's basketball locker room until there was an all-clear that every girl was dressed.
This happens in all men's sports.
When I complained I was told everything from "it's just nudity" to "everyone has seen penises before".
This would never happen to women.
It always felt so degrading and humiliating to me, and as someone that was abused by an older woman growing up, it was very difficult for me. It's been a source of conversation with my therapist.
Here's some quotes from some of these fine women journalists:
"It is true that sportswriters, and even sportswriting interns, have access to players that fans can only dream of. So yes, Ive interviewed future Hall of Famers. And yes, Ive seen them naked..."
Wait, you got to go in the locker room? my friends gasped when I told them how I spent my summer. And then the conspiratorial smile: Did you see?
"I almost had that privilege taken away when one young, particularly handsome player entered the hallway after showering in nothing but his shower shoes. There was an audible gasp, a blush and a muffled giggle, which was quickly replaced by total professionalism as I buried my head in my notebook and hid behind a colleague."
"Several years ago while still in college, a sorority sister of mine once said of a now NBA all-star with whom she had a long-time, strictly sexual relationship, and shall remain nameless (though should learn to keep his off-season recreational drug usage a private matter) "its the biggest I've ever seen. He could literally do me from across the room." Needless to say, I'd be fine with more towel dropping in NBA locker rooms across the country."
"Trust me, there are men known by penis-inspired nicknames bestowed upon them by me and my friends-"SHD" (short for "Shows His Dick") and "Little Pecker," just to name a couple. I honestly don't know some of their real names."
"Put me in a locker room, I'm not going to lie, I'll sneak a peek. But a glance to the nether regions is caused by curiosity, nothing more."
This all straight from women sports reporters. They had access to see us naked, then talked about us like this, in papers and websites no less. And there's never any outrage.
I cannot tell you the amount of times I caught people ogling myself or teammates.
Not to mention, with cell phone cameras now, and everyone using them to record quotes and whatnot, so it's normal for them to be out, you can't tell me voyeuristic pictures never get secretly snapped.
To any sports journalists reading this, male or female, just because someone gave you a press pass does NOT make it moral to invade someone's privacy like you all do. Your special "press pass" doesn't give you the consent of the people' you are actually degrading. After seeing the reactions here I'm going to say something I wanted to say to their faces when I was younger, but lacked the courage to.
Shame on you. Your narcissistic belief that your right to "get the story" comes before another human's right to their dignity is shameful. I hated all of you. I still do. And I am NOT alone. Get out of someone's space when they're changing. Oh, and if nudity isn't a big deal, then why don't you strip down too? Play whatever mental gymnastics you want, but you all put your own ambition over others dignity, and good people don't do that.
Sorry, had to get that off of my chest.
Ollyy / Shutterstock.com
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.