Men Share The Worst Things They've Ever Seen In Someone's Online Dating Profile
Dating is hard. In today's day and age, we meet people so continuously and easily, but despite all that, it actually seems like it's gotten harder to connect.
These online profiles provide a layer of screening before you actually make contact with the people. Sometimes, these profiles tell you literally nothing. Sometimes they overshare. And sometimes, they tell you to swipe the heck left and never look back.
Here were some of those answers.
50. Thrill In The Chase, NEVER The CaptureGiphy
Demands. 'Be interesting' or 'I get bored easily' or any of the other million things I've seen that shows me they won't put in any effort and expect to be impressed and chased. Nope.
49. Well I Literally Know Nothing About You
Picture Picture Picture Picture
"I DoNt KnOw LoL"
What's your ideal date?:
Guys, we got an animal lover here! We're perfect for each other!
48. Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
"My Husband is on Deployment, trying to have fun the entire time before he comes home."
Her husband was on deployment with me...
A few of my buddies in the Navy (one in particular had a really rough time with this) were cheated on. The dude who had it bad bad was unknowingly paying for everything his wife wanted to do with the other man. He had to file bankruptcy...
Oh boy, this isn't in a womans bio, but mine on POF about a decade ago.
I went out with a girl who ended up being an absolute nut job, stalking, 3am phone calls to my parents house, HIDING IN MY HOUSE, the works. After I finally got her out of my life, I left dating a while.
3 months or so later I made a new POF Profile, I was so scared that my bio basically said, "I'm terrified of all you crazy women, after sending me a criminal history check of yourself, maybe we can go out"
Guess how many messages/replies I got.
46. How Do You Know I'm Not Afraid Of Spiders Too
- Must be adventurous
- Has a good heart
- Able to kill spiders
I think they're looking for party members for a quest.
In all seriousness though, when their "profile" is more of a list of demands.
45. Plot Twist: I Am The Queen
Movie quotes and phrases that apply to literally everyone. "I like fun. You want a queen, Earn her" and all that nonsense. Just tell us what you're like! More importantly, give us something to talk about.
44. This Isn't A Contest
Just negative stuff like
"You gotta be able to keep up!"
"Don't waste my time"
"If my dog doesn't like you then I won't"
IMO this is a terrible way to go about Tinder, I see this kind of profile and swipe left, online dating is tough enough without having to deal with uptight judgmental types.
43. I Travel Too
"Likes to Travel".
Everyone likes that. Every single person on the planet likes travel. Even the people who have never traveled before like the IDEA of traveling to interesting and new (and not even necessarily far-off or wild) places. Even people who DON'T like traveling have liked traveling enough in the past to travel before to now know they don't like traveling.
You might as well say 'I am a human'. At least that would be good for a laugh.
42. I Ain't Paying Anybody
- I love my dog more than you
- I just wanna drink with someone
- Just looking for friends
- Pay me money
- No agency or personality
- "I like to travel" That sounds cool, I'm poor. Are you paying?
- List off a ton of topics, but no topics you can actually talk about
- Being incredibly aggressive for no reason
- Add me on Snapchat
41. I Just Want ClarityGiphy
I'm in the WLW section of Tinder and it really pisses me off that half of that population is straight women looking for friends. It makes the classic lesbian "friend or girlfriend?" Dillema so much worse. I've met up with a few women and I'm still not even sure if they were "dates".
40. A Measly Five?
Venmo me $5. th3_warth0g
In all seriousness, what exactly is supposed to happen? I always just immediately swipe left when I see that, but what exactly is the expectation? You send money, she goes, "omg thank you, ur so sweet" and messages you 2 more times before ghosting? cubemstr
I like dogs and holidays then proceed to say don't be boring.
(Guess who else likes dogs and holidays, most of the people on the planet dumbass). CaptainWack
Girls: I don't reply on a simple "hi", surprise/amuse me.
Also girls: no infos in bio except name and age. mrpk9
"Hey there, I noticed that you're 24. How is that going for you?" CunnedStunt
37. Peek a Boo.
Only having group photos. SnausagesForDogs
You have to know she's the blurry red face peeking over the shoulder of her 4 hot friends. yes-itsmypavelow
If their first photo is a group photo they never end up being the most attractive person. Jalan_atthirari
36. Hey. Hey. Hey.
"Don't just say hey" most of these profile literally say nothing about their interests and yet you're supposed to strike up the best conversation they have ever seen just to get a reply back. Jmills2105
"..Most people haven't heard of the gulf of tonkin'. Luckily for you.." Ash_Tuck_ums
35. Being Basic.Giphy
Stuff like "Take me on an adventure" or "I like to laugh". Besides being super basic, it sounds like they expect you to entertain them to no end, rather than mutually being good for each other. DM-YOUR-BOOBS-GIRL
34. Love & Adventure.
Today I've decided to take us on a romantic and sexy adventure to a secret cave not far from here. We'll need some special gear before going in, which I've gone ahead and purchased for us. This cave is so secret that I don't think anyone has ever actually been inside it!
We do have to be careful though, because it will be a pretty tight squeeze. Correct positioning will be critical for safe passage but I did a lot of "internet research" and I am certain I have the right tools for the job.
Once inside, we will need to make sure we communicate openly to make sure neither of us gets hurt. This cave is also a bit muddy, so I will be wearing a raincoat, and I brought some of these old towels out of the basement for you to clean up with, just in case.
We are about to get a lot of exercise so we should probably both limber up before we start off.
Now, if you'll hold this bottle of lube, we can get started. Rust_Dawg
33. Why are you here?
Stuff like 'I probably wont message back'. Like... wtf... why are you on Tinder then? Bunch of gimps. TallButTalentless
This is like going to an amusement park and not riding any of the rides. LostCanadianGoose
32. Too Many Chicks.
I have a bf, Just looking for friends :) That's one I've seen a few times and there are sooooo many chicks that just have their instagram as their bio and nothing else. FilthyBorking
31. Open Up.
"I have a boyfriend." Cheaters man. CommonStoner
Lots of people have an open relationship, never know. coatofgoldandred
I need a sugar daddy because I ain't got no money and I don't feel like working. theshak06
Back in the day, you'd invest time and a few dates in before it comes out. squats_and_sugars
29. Too Close.
Only one picture, where you cannot even see her full face, and no description, sorry instant left swipe. TheBassMeister
Or just her face really close to the camera where she is hiding her body. CantHandleSociety88
28. What we Deserve.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." GoodLordChokeAnABomb
Yeah, the line itself is fine. There are plenty of crappy people out there who will only want to interact with their partner if said partner is in a good mood (i.e. is willing to screw or otherwise please them). If said partner needs comfort or anything else, the crappy person will just leave them hanging.
So the sentiment of "you can't enjoy the good times with me if you don't accept the bad times with me too" is a healthy outlook.
But that phrase has been twisted to mean "if you don't let me get away with treating you like crap, then you're not good enough for me", and it's really disheartening. Virginth
26. A Family Affair.
Pictures of their children. Semi-understandable if it's them AND the kids, but I see too many where there are pics of JUST the kids. BrewtusMaximus1
As a female, I actually have a question of "why are your relatives kids in the photos? Do they know?"
I find this more creepy then endearing! These are usually not your kids and there's crazy people in the world. It makes me uneasy if you do that easily, what else are you willing to put out in the world. thephoenixofAsgard
25. How Old?
"Actually 19, I just don't know how to change my age." Profile age says 26. StayGoldBronyBoy
It's because they signed in with Facebook and are too dumb to realize that that's where the age came from. Tinder didn't just guess your age. Breadandextrabutter
24. Highs and Lows...
Only 6'2" or taller! Judge_Bredd
If you can't handle me at my smallest, you don't deserve my tallest. Mister-Horse
This is surprisingly common, yet saying "Only 150 pounds or lighter" would be considered quite taboo. rocketparrotlet
23. Fur babies....
Anything involving how much you love dogs. Seems like half of tinder thinks liking dogs and traveling are the ingredients to a personality. Kitehammer
Anyone who says "fur babies" or calls herself a "dog mom" is an immediate no. ItsMeTK
22. Keep the Past.Giphy
Pictures with their ex. adamb1187
With his face scratched out. RedditMayne
This Could Be YOU! SwagYoloThiccChilFam
21. False Snap.
I honestly think it's an epidemic. I feel like I can't actually tell them that they're masking their insecurities and that's not how they actually look without getting the inevitable "I just do it because it's fun!" but there's absolutely some "false advertising" that these Snapchat filters edit out or hide or flat out fake (eyelashes, makeup filters, etc).
It's an enormous red flag for me when a girl has her default picture be one with a Snapchat filter or multitudes of pictures with them. It's just not a true representation of what your average appearance looks like, and for something like Tinder where we swipe left or right based on appearance it's just disingenuous.
Please just be yourself. Willster328
20. Oh Ladies....
I listened to a few podcasts and they were entertaining in a kind of novelty kind of way, but then very quickly I realized holy crap these two chicks are so toxic and give out the worst advice ever.
So toxic, and a lot of their humor is sarcastic or over the top but I legit wonder if there's women that actually take some of the things they say seriously. I see this or 'daddygang' in a profile and it tells me a lot. BirdhouseInYourS0ul
19. Nothing Worse...Giphy
"Live, Laugh, Love" homeware anywhere in shot. argosgold
Literally worse than a swastika. csl512
18. No Hooking Up...
"Just here for friends! Not looking for a hookup."
That's cool? If you're looking for friends on a dating/hook up app where you only see people of the opposite gender, then you're wasting everyone's time.
"me being a mommy comes first." or "I have a beautiful son/daughter and they are my whole world."
If you're a single parent great, but saying it like that says both "I'm immature and obnoxious." it's not very down to earth. Just say "Also I have a son/daughter so please make sure you're ready to date someone with a child."
or just a "I'm a single parent but looking to date." sounds way better than "proud mommy of 2 and looking for a real man." GoldMrSoul
17. Both Sides....
I'm a woman, but I've spotted this on both genders profiles - 'I like quiet nights in, and going out!' (I personally like to linger in doorways, with one leg out and one leg safely inside)
I'm pretty sure the secret to profiles is to be as specific as possible. "I like vacations to cities where I get to read every sign in the museum and then have a 3 course meal with wine pairings at night." "I greatly enjoy works of science fiction written by women and like to create my own illustrations for them."
"I am very politically active and work phone banks and canvas during election years."
Kind of like writing a good character = examples of their personality showcased by their actions instead of saying "she was sassy and independent." rickybakerahah
"Not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time!"
So overused. Egosius
I always assumed that was just a plausibly-deniable way to say they are looking for hookups. RushedIdea
15. Oh Utah.
I live in Utah. Damn near every bio has the word adventure in it. Please be more specific. Do you want to go hiking or smuggle a priceless figurine of the Egyptian god Thoth up your butt to keep it from falling into the hands of the police? SpartanH089
Not a bio, but I saw a woman put a picture up of her high school diploma. So, that was a thing. AWildBlitz
Reminds me of the dude I saw put a picture of his credit score. It was like, 730, which isn't bad, but isn't the most impressive either. routineriot
13. Are you a Cancer?Giphy
Their zodiac sign. I already know that anyone who thinks that's in any way important is going to be exhausting. TheyCallMeRamon
Between that, blank bios, people who only have Snapchat filtered pics, no pics at all, or people asking for money, I end up left swiping probably 75% of the time. Astrognome
12. Dogs First!
"I'll probably like your dog more than I like you." Cool, then volunteer at an animal shelter or something and stop wasting everyone's time. Varaskana
"You mean spend time taking care of dogs, instead of visiting briefly with a dog that somebody else is totally responsible for? Ew!" frogandbanjo
11. DVR Listings.
"I like The Office"
I do too, but it's not a personality trait. realtomatocatsup
That would be a good sign for my partner and I because that means when we hang out we can just put on the office like we normally do. CantHandleSociety88
10. Be Serious.
"Don't waste my time", "Only message if serious", etc. etc. Because in my experience it's the women of Tinder, not the men, who waste everyone's time with their ghosting.
I would say 80% of the women on Tinder have no interest in actually hooking up or dating anyone. They're just there for validation. They love the ego boost they get from the 100s of messages daily and the thirsty dudes worshiping them. PhillipLlerenas
9. So Pretty.Giphy
Their ugly kids. capnkarl96
No one should be choosing whether or not to date you based on how you looked as a kid, so don't use one of the few pictures to show it. RushedIdea
8. Add to the Mix...
"I don't check this often just add me on snapchat"
IDK why but this is becoming increasingly common. And adding randos on snapchat defeats the purpose of matching anyway. duelingdelbene
7. Grind Away.
Grindr is so much easier: "No friends, hook-ups only." KevynJacobs
I honestly thought about putting a profile on that app just to see how I do. Screw it may as well just go all the way. I'll report back. toxichots
"Fluent in sarcasm" "Wiiiiiine!" "Taaaaacos!" "Looking for the Jim to my Pam" "If you're under 8' swipe left." emintrie7
Anything along the lines of "make me laugh or I won't respond." You swiped right for a reason, not responding is dumb. Jgobbi
- "I hate talking here, message me on Instagram". I assume she's only on Tinder to get more followers.
- Calling themselves sexy/beautiful/pretty/etc. Even if it's true, it's conceited, and tells me what matters to her. ghost0427
3. Dogs Know.
"If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won't either" That grinds my gears. JTaters
Put a little bacon grease all the places you would normally put cologne. Watch her freak out when her dog starts going to town on your crotch. twerky_stark
2. Women Logic.Giphy
Those stupid cat ear, dog snout, sparkles, etc. filters. They're so dumb. How do they help?
Or saying they want to be in a relationship but don't want no drama or games. Dude, there's a lot of games and drama in even the best relationships. Dumb-dumb. strangelove77
Re: the animal, etc. filters...They also include airbrushing and other features made to make them look better. But if they used a filter that ONLY did that, they'd be perceived as shallow or misleading. So instead, it's the same thing, but with some goofy dog ears or some crap. Now they can say, "Oh, I just thought it was cute!" instead of "I'm trying to misrepresent how I look!"
That's women logic for you. dystopianview
1. It's All the Same....
I swear every girl's profile is the same. I don't know how guys look but this is legit almost every single girl profile I see.. to the point now I just reflexively swipe left as soon as I see..
"I love traveling, hiking and being outdoors"
Almost every profile has every pic of them in the mountains and all over the world. To the point it feels like these people live in a different country every month and in the mountains every weekend. Maybe some of them are, I dunno. Not hating, it's just the same word use over and over....
And if they're single moms....
"I have x-number [amazing] kids that are my world"
The kids are always "amazing" and always "their world" IDC if they're single moms personally, it's the same robotic wording that gripes me. enzomatrix1980
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.