Men Reveal Secrets About The Male Experience That They Want Women To Know.
Ladies, have you ever looked at a man and thought, "what is he thinking?" or "why doesn't he know what I want." Men aren't mind readers, and neither are you. Instead of arguing back and forth and never getting any where, we thought we'd help you gain some insight into the mind of a man.
Here are a few secrets men reveal about themselves, so you have a better understanding into what makes them tick.
1. Thought Process
That when I'm sitting and not saying anything I'm probably not mad. I'm probably just thinking about the technical aspects of riding dinosaurs or something else important.
2. Itchy and Scratchy
When I scratch myself or re-adjust myself down below, I am not getting sexual pleasure from it.
3. Doesn't Mean Anything
To clarify, an erection does not equal horny. It does not mean I want to have sex now. It's just blood in my penis doing stuff to my muscles.
4. Friends Forever
I can go weeks without going out with my friends and our friendship doesn't get strained.
Ball pain. It's not so much the magnitude, as I'm sure it's not actually worse than something like childbirth. It's more the manifestation. If you get kicked in the head, your head hurts. If you get kicked in the balls, your balls hurt... but then the pain like, migrates through you, into your guts, and face and head.
6. All By Myself
Just because I wanna do stuff by myself sometimes does not mean I don't like being around you.
7. I'm Listening
When you're telling a story and I don't respond, I'm listening. I just don't have anything to add to the conversation.
8. First Time
Why are you surprised that I don't know how to take off a bra? Where would I have learned how to?
9. Missing The Target
It's not that we do not aim, the urine sometimes split streams or something.
10. I Don't Care
When I say, "I don't care", I actually mean it. When you ask me to pick between trivial things and I say I don't care, it means it makes no difference to me at all one way or another. Pick what you want.
11. Take A Hint
I do not pick up on hints... at all. If you want something, tell me.
12. Name Game
Guys can call each other the most appalling names and still be great friends.
13. Roll With The Punches
When girls "play" punch it can hurt, when done repeatedly it hurts more. I won't flinch and I'll even laugh but in my head I'm like "if you were a dude...".
14. "I was in the pool!"
Shrinkage is a real thing.
15. Live, Laugh, Cry
Men have feelings. I laugh, I cry, I hurt. Please be aware of this and treat me with the same dignity that you wish to be treated. Don't assume that I'm a giant uncaring boulder. Some guys might be, but not all.
16. The Nod
Downwards for respect, upwards if you know them.
17. Constant Craving
I crave compliments. Nothing will make me happier then to be told we look good, smell good, etc.
This is why, I believe, men tend to compliment women too much sometimes. I sometimes over use the golden rule, I treat women as we want to be treated.
18. Rejection Hurts
I don't drop off the face of the earth after you reject me because I'm angry. I do it because rejection hurts and is quite embarrassing.
19. Clean Cut
That sometimes I like to go a few days without shaving.
It's not because I'm thinking of growing a beard or that I'm being too lazy to shave. It's simply something in my nature that I do.
When I watch t.v and put my hand down my pants and i'm not sexually pleasuring myself. It's just comfortable to cup myself and its something that happens without thinking about it.
21. How's It Hanging?
There is a big difference when wearing boxers if your trio hangs to the left or to the right.
22. Handle With Care
Some of us are raised that we must be "a man". Got rejected by a girl? Loser. Can't provide for the family? Loser. Can't pleasure your lady? Loser. Oh you're wife earns more than you? What a loser. Although, not everyone shares these views when we come across someone who does it can bruise the ego.
23. Sit On Myself
It is possible to sit on "yourself", and it hurts so, so much.
24. Mr. Forgetful
I forget 90% of all conversations I ever have before my morning coffee.
25. To The Bat Cave!
My balls are made of bat wing material and I have no idea why they stick to my leg or penis.
26. The Wiggles
Having to adjust your balls in public after sitting for a while. It can get so uncomfortable. You end up having to wiggle your whole body around because you (obviously) can't just reach in there.
27. Snow Day
Urinating your name into the snow, is the best thing ever.
28. Shower Beer
A can of beer in a hot shower after work is really refreshing and relaxing.
Friendliness shouldn't automatically translate to creepiness. Just because I give you a compliment doesn't mean I'm hitting on you. If you don't appreciate it, let me know and I'll adjust.
30. Guessing Games
"What I want for dinner" is not a guessing game I like to play.
31. We Like You
I care about what color your nails are, how you did your hair, or what new shoes you bought. It's all the same to me. If I like you for you, the rest of that doesn't matter.
33. Gas Attack
Farts are funny.
Farts are ALWAYS funny.
34. Time On The Throne
That I don't need to spend 45 minutes taking a dump, I simply want too.
When I say I'm just finishing my pint then coming home and roll in 5 hours later, it's because my mates kept buying me more drinks and it was rude not to drink them.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: