"What are the odds," you asked after that crazy unlikely thing happened, like having your plane fly past the space shuttle... or receiving the same text you sent at the exact same moment you sent it.
Balls_On_A_Grinder: What million-to-one odds have you witnessed?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
These chance encounters.
Years ago, long before GPS was available to the general public, I was travelling for work. I was 4 states away from home in a city I had never been to before. I had to be at a location my company was in the process of building. I needed to hit an ATM so I'd have some cash in my pocket and found a bank in the parking lot of a small mall. While standing on line at the ATM, I turned around and asked the guy behind me if he knew how to get to <my destination>. He looked at me and yelled <my name>!!! It was someone I had worked with for a few years at a previous job, about 5 years earlier and 1,000 miles away.
We went to lunch, agreed to keep in touch, then never did.
When you inadvertently become a case study.
I went to South Africa in 1988 with my father who was a research cardiologist at the time. The trip was for a symposium on the side effects of a blood thinning drug on which he had just completed a large study. During one of the breaks, we drove about 2-3 hours out of Johannesburg to a wine region to tour a winery. Joining our party were the two other cardiologists currently conducting research on the drug.
One of the doctors was from Italy, and one was from Venezuela. At lunch, an older woman at the table next to ours passed out and fell on the floor hitting her head fairly soundly. It was lucky that she happened to be sitting next to three doctors who could attend her while we waited for the ambulance. What was crazy was that when they were talking to her about her medical history, she was taking the medicine they were studying. It turns out the dosage she had been prescribed was dangerously high which could cause black outs and unconsciousness. I'm not sure what the odds are off passing out in rural Africa while sitting next to the three foremost medical experts in the world (and those experts having come from three other continents) on your blood thinner's side effects, but I'd imagine the odds are pretty low.
Similar: My buddy was working as a rigger at an arena in the US. The arena happened to be hosting an event for surgeons and there was a large group of specialized hand surgeons there. Well one of his coworkers somehow got his hand mangled in a forklift. Two of the doctors came down and got his hand free. They cleaned it and practically prepped it for surgery. One of the doctors even went to the hospital with him for the emergency surgery. I don't know if that doctor performed it or if he just advised. The guy made almost a complete recovery on what could of been a severe loss of dexterity.
I want this level of confidence.
I have dwarfism, and a third nipple.
I like to think I'm the only 3-nippled dwarf in the world.
Edit: Sorry, I have been informed that the correct terminology is a Triple-Nippled Little Person, or a Trip-Nip Pipsqueak, or an Itty Bitty Triple Titty.
Which one is your super power and which one is the curse?
Being a dwarf is definitely a super power.
My sister is the only person who has seen my third nipple, and her reaction tells me it's a curse.
What are the odds of this exchange?
This happened last night: at a dive bar in Brooklyn , the bartender and I were bored so we invented a game that involved throwing a nerf football from one end of the bar in attempt to hit the back wall (it was dead so nobody was in harms way). After an awful throw , the bartender runs to retrieve the football, and out of the blue yells "go deep", then proceeds to fire a 100mph spiral directly at me. I dodge out of pure fear and the football crashes into my pint of beer and shot glass. Both items go flying at full speed off the bar into the ground making a very loud shattering sound. We both go "omg" and he walks up to clean the mess when he holds his hands over his mouth in pure terror, looks me in the eyes and says "I killed a mouse!"
Sure as sh!t under the broken pint glass, dead middle of the floor laid the fresh corpse of a mouse who just so happen to be running from one side of the bar to another and the pint glass landed exactly, directly on him when it flew off the bar.
We are convinced this was a mouse "final destination moment". We're still in disbelief.
Hi, I am the bartender. I figure that was a 1 in 750,000,000 throw.
Things we do on a dead night at a local Brooklyn dive bar. It can't get better from here after a throw like that...
I can confirm he is indeed the bartender with the rocket speed, mouse killing throw.
Do you think RBG enjoys RPGs?
In 2006 when I was 19 I lived in Lynchburg, Virginia, and I went to Connecticut with a buddy to meet a girl he had been dating online.
I stopped in a Gamestop for a game to play on the drive back, and had just gotten a job at one back home a few months prior and was really into helping people find new games to play. I saw this cute little old lady browsing games and I randomly asked her if she needed help, thinking it was for a relative, and she divulged to me how she loved turn-based RPGs (Which I also loved) and I recommended Disgaea to her for the PS2. We left and life went on.
A couple years later I was still working at Gamestop in Virginia and a little old lady came in and was expressing her excitement for Disgaea 3 for the PS3 and I mentioned that I had met a lady just like her in Connecticut a few years prior, what are the odds.
She says that she used to live in Connecticut and that a young man in a game store turned her onto the Disagaea series a few years prior. She moved to Virginia to be closer to her daughter who lived in my hometown.
I suppose I can't say 100% that this is the woman I met previously, but I'll be damned if it didn't seem like it.
Edit: because someone took issue with me recommending Disgaea, a turn-based strategy RPG, because she liked traditional turn-based RPGs. This lady knew her sh*t, she had played almost everything I could name and competently discussed them with me. She didn't say she liked Apples and I handed her a Tomato because she liked red round things. She made an informed decision and loved the game.
ME! Falling nearly 70 feet out of a tree to land at the feet of a retired cardiologist that was out for a jog. He was doing CPR within seconds of me hitting the ground. Of all the doctors in the world that could have been out for a jog, I fell in front of the one that worked on hearts and retired just a few short weeks prior to my wreck.
Im sorry but this made me chuckle. The poor man wants to retire, goes out for a nice jog and flying body comes out to put him back to work.
He was just like "I GUESS."
He was like" this isn't covered by your health insurance I'm sorry" then continues jogging.
Putting those weird wings to use.
I saw a gargoyle fall from the perimeter of a lofty steeple.
Instead of smashing on the sidewalk or hurting someone walking below, it "miraculously" landed in dense shrubbery in the churchyard - completely unscathed.
Because it's alive dude.
This rare reunion.
I was in downtown San Francisco once when I saw a guy across the street that looked very much like a guy named Bennet that lived in my dorm, Yosemite Hall, back in college, 10 years before and 100s of miles away. But I couldn't quite be sure if it was him. Then, out of no where, a girl came running across the street and straight up to the guy and said, "Hey Bennet, remember me? I used to live upstairs from you in Yosemite Hall!"
So all 3 of you lived in Yosemite Hall at the same time. I need to see the end of this 2000s romantic film.
I did nothing. I kept walking. I was very rattled. I was walking with my girlfriend and a few friends and all of this happened very quickly. I didn't even mention it to the people I was with until we got to where we were going. I had this irrational sense that if I went over there, something in the fabric of space and time would have ripped. Sorry if I've let you down. But I just posted another story that I just remembered that freaked me out even more.
I know it's irrational, but I am actually furious at you for this.
We're still cool though.
I get it. I've been kicking myself for years. Wondering how life would have been different if I'd said something. One of those "would you kill baby Hitler" moments.
Thanks for not ripping up spacetime.
Have had this happen, it's spooky af.
I once texted my workout buddy "shoulders today?" And right when I sent it my phone spontaneously spat out the text right back to me as if he had sent it. Thought that was weird but then my buddy told me it was him. Like we legit texted the same exact text to each other letter for letter at the exact same time.
And yes we did do shoulders that day.
Reminds me of the time my dad picked up the phone to dial only to hear the person he wanted to talk to on the other end.
Same thing happend to me. Super weird moment. Almost as if my brain was malfunctioning.
How cool is this?
Was on a commercial flight that flew right past the space shuttle when it was taking off. Had a perfect view out the window.
Oh wow. I've seen photos of this but couldn't really understand how it felt/that it was real.
What's funny is that I had no idea there was even a launch that day, so I was caught totally off guard when the pilot announced what was about to happen.
What unlikely event have you experienced?
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.