'Misdelivery Stories' That Range From Amusing To Wildly Catastrophic

Everyone gets at least a few of their packages misdelivered and receives at least a few mis delivered packages. But depending upon what gets mis delivered the results can be anything from mildly amusing to straight up catastrophic, as in the following cases.

Over the summer, hundreds of students took part in Edinburgh Playhouse's summer stage sessions, learning valuable lessons about stage premise, enunciation, and what play house is about. 

In December, the school sent out DVDs that were supposed to contain pictures and video of the kids' experiences and performances there. What the children actually got, however, was a pornographic film specifically addressed to them, not their parents.

Though these sort of wacky misunderstandings happen only in gross-out comedies, the production company employed by the playhouse actually made hundreds of DVD copies of an epic piece of hardcore smut called "The Bondage Mistress" and then, because double-checking your work is for losers, they threw the DVDs into cases marked "Edinburgh Playhouse Summer Camp Mix" and sent them. 

The staff at the playhouse claim they didn't know they had accidentally sent children a mistress for Christmas until one of their workers sat down to watch his copy of the DVD, two days later. Or at least he told people about it two days later.

One furious dad called the film "disgusting filth" and "sexual exploitation" and said that it was "not even amateur porn."

Some goof ups do make this world a funny place to live in. I am thinking about the kids who'd have excitedly opened the DVD and played it for family and friends.


Heart valves—while useful—arent the go-to tools for kitchen remodeling.

Unfortunately, a Home Depot in New York City received a box full of them back in 2010. The heart valves were supposed to go to a hospital in Chicago, but somehow ended up on the Upper East Side. 

"I think it's crazy," employee Bryan Beltrez told the press. "They should not be misdelivering such things."


Ive received two potentially embarrassing (for them) things over the last six or so years living here. 

One was a pornographic magazine for gay men and the other was cowboy and pirate sex costumes for their halloween.

It's funny that we never really talked about it. Although I did get inspired and ordered some kinky stuff for myself and my wife following that.


Shipping over 600 million packages a year means that Amazon is naturally going to make a mistake every now and then, you order one CD because you're that person who still buys CDs, and they send you two. Little things like that. Or, you could buy absolutely nothing and they send you thousands of dollars' worth of random stuff, like they did for Robert Quinn of South London.

Quinn hadn't ordered anything from Amazon for some time, but a computer glitch sent 51 returned packages to his home instead of the return depot.

Some of the items in Santa's surprise drop-off included a tablet, a baby buggy, a big-screen TV, a PSP, another tablet, a bookcase, an ironing board, yet another tablet, and even a leaf blower. All in all, Quinn found himself with over $5,000 worth of high-end equipments he hadn't asked for - all of which he got to keep for free, courtesy of a red-faced Amazon.


My parents ordered the wine for Christmas back in October and it hadn't arrived until December. So they complained and received a box of wine the next day. 

A week before Christmas another box of wine appeared! My parents called the wine company and the customer service representative said they could keep it for free!

What a great Christmas gift!


Worst time I had with these package delivery companies was when a package that was supposed to reach me at Texas State University got delivered to some girl in Ohio State University. Not only to a wrong address, but also wrong city, and WRONG STATE. I was 1300 miles away from where my package got delivered. 

My correct address was on the package but the driver, being lazy, decided to dump the package at the local college instead of taking it to be shipped to the correct location.

Rodimus Prime

Its not every day that a box of unordered narcotics ends up on your doorstep.

In 2014, due to an incorrectly labeled package, a delivery company delivered a box of high grade drugs to the neighbor of the intended recipient in Houston, Texas, who then alerted the local police. 

Sheriffs were sent to the correct address and, upon raiding the house, found "a hodgepodge of multiple drugs and a whole bunch of guns," . 

Three suspects were taken into custody after the incident.


In 1964, Teressa Bellissimo, who along with her husband Frank co-founded the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, N. Y., ordered chicken necks to make her spaghetti sauce, but chicken wings arrived instead, so she made do with them and invented the popular bar food - Buffalo Wings. 


A few months back I ordered 14 bottles of wine online. They were due to be delivered within a few days to my home address. Nothing showed up and almost a week and a half had passed, so I called the company up. 

I was expecting to hear I missed the package and had not got a note. They looked it up and saw the package had been dispatched but nothing had been signed for and no note was left, so it must have been the delivery company's mistake. 

Another box of wine was shipped out and it reached me, at work this time, the next day. Conveniently they had written on the side that it was full of wine and that it was for an urgent delivery for a priority customer, making me look like a heavy drinker. My colleagues ragged on me for that the entire week.

Anyway, a week later I come out of my apartment and ran into my next door neighbor. He says,"Heya, I've been looking for you, a package arrived two weeks back but I've been on holiday since then. Wait here, I'll go grab it for you". 

Two cases of wine for the price of one!


I had a brown box delivered one day and didn't think twice about it because we had recently moved in and had a lot of other things delivered the same week. 

When we opened it, almost a week later, we saw some foot therapy thing that came with wax blocks that you're supposed to melt as part of some tub therapy thing. There were lots of wax blocks, someone had ordered a ton of these wax blocks. The package also had some fuzzy sleeve type things to slip over your body parts to keep the heat in once you've applied the wax. 

The delivery company never came looking for it and we never recognized the street address. So we ended up trying to use this thing and it wasn't the best experience to be honest.


This might be the worst "Delivered wrong" story. 

During a recent battle in the province of Anbar, the Iraqi Air Force set out to drop food, drink, and weaponry to its besieged ground troops. Unfortunately, the pilots got confused, flew to the side of the province controlled by the enemy, ISIS group, and gave them fresh noms, throat-parching liquids, and enough ammo to last them for weeks. And the actual army got nothing.


An old tenant, who must have lived at the place where I am currently living at least 5 years ago, still gets some of his medical supplements delivered here.

Sometimes it's viagra and other sex supplements. It's funny but also disgusting at times.


Not a mail delivery, but a wrong wire transfer. 

So my mother got a wire transfer a few years ago - a sum of 57000 (That's $85000). We thought the bank would promptly notice and rectify, and so they did, but like three months later! We almost believed this money was ours by them. Probably the best-worst three months ever.

It turns out some people had asked for a loan and somehow they messed up the files and well, my mother got the money transfer.


My neighbour had not long ago sent his car out for a service, driven out on a flatbed truck and now the flatbed was back with it's charge.

Now what kind of car gets taken for the regular service on a flatbed truck? 

I answered the doorbell, looked down my driveway, and saw my neighbours Ferrari F430 on the truck, in my driveway.

Only time any supercar rubber graced my driveway. Sigh.


A woman on the northeast side of Washington D.C accidentally received a crate of 1000 bees that were supposed to go to someone with the same address—but on the southeast side of town. 

Ray Noll, director of Animal Control Field Services for the Washington Humane Society, told Washington City Paper that the resident who received the bees—which were contained in a wood-and-wire box within a plastic bin—"was freaked out". When one of the Animal Control Service employee said they don't normally handle buzzing insects, she said, "You're not the one with the bees on your porch!" 

The bees were eventually delivered to the right person.


I used to live in an apartment complex and one of my neighbor moved out. A few days after she moved out, another couple moved in. And UPS delivered a package to the new couple that was for my old neighbor. The couple even signed for it.

Well, the old neighbor got hold of the apartment manager, got the contact information of the couple that rented her old apartment and called them. But they said they never received any package from UPS. 

Then she went over to her old apartment, knocked on this couple's door and explained that the package was a hand-sown quilt from her grandmother for her newborn baby, and it's really important for her to find her package. She even said UPS has proof that they, the couple, signed for the package.

However, this couple continued to deny receiving the package. After months of going back and forth with the apartment owners, the couple and UPS, she ended up taking the couple to court for theft of property. 

The judge sided with her. A deputy from the local police department, her and the apartment manager showed up one day and went into the couples apartment, they were not home then, and found her quilt laying right across the couples couch.

It beat anything Ive ever seen. You talk about gutsy. And definitely taught me a lesson. Now if Im expecting anything valuable from UPS or FedEx and I cant be home — I either make sure someone is there for me or call the local depot and ask that it be held for pickup.


I had an issue with airport care. The power supply to our Airport Base Station died, and the only way I could get a new one was through the airport supply care, so I ordered it over the phone. 

They shipped it to an old address and the people there signed for it. I was told I'd have to get it back as I technically provided this wrong address. I contacted the landlord, who in turn contacted these people, and they claimed they never received it. 

After a week or so, with frequent calls, airport care determined I had provided the correct address and re-issued me a new power supply. Why those people living at my old address wanted to keep a power supply for an airport base station, I'll never know.


In 2012, customers of a Monmouth County, N.J. Delta gas station had their tanks filled with jet fuel instead of gasoline due to a mistaken delivery. 

Instead of zooming away, the cars stalled. The mistake was attributed to the storage facility in charge of delivering the gas. The gas station and all others that could have been affected were immediately shut down for cleaning. 

One woman blamed the gas station's name: "It was probably because it was called Delta and they thought it was Delta Airlines,"


Not really delivered but years ago I ordered an I-Bead MP3 player and it was supposed to be delivered by this some lesser known delivery service within one week. 

I waited for two weeks before I gave up and contacted them, they told me to come to the depot and pick it up (are you even a delivery company?) and I should bring some ID since they're not dropping it off at my house. 

Great. I cycle there with my passport. Finally find the elusive depot and show my ID. The radio there played through 3 songs before the guy at the counter returned with a larger sack than I was expecting. I checked the address, it was correct and got a little confused. Anyway, thinking it might be a big for a small MP3 player, I opened the sack. And the product was a stinking manure sample. 

Thankfully I did get my MP3 soon though.


Most of my incidents with receiving mis-delivered stuff happened at work. 

I used to work for a computer shop that was a also an authorized service centre for a famous computer brand. We did a fair amount of warranty work for a number of hardware companies, so the package delivery people had a habit of delivering anything from computer companies to us, even if they were addressed elsewhere. And these software companies also had a habit of sending us stuff that was supposed to go somewhere else. 

I don't know how it was for the customers who didn't get their parts, but we had problems getting both of these parties to take their stuff back. They would say they were issuing a pickup notice to the carrier, and never would, or they were sending us a label, but never would, etc. 

So, every now and then we had a bunch of electronics piled up. I ended up with a nice set of speakers and a subwoofer after they sat in the warehouse for months. Our boss told us to "clean up the warehouse", and all of us wound light up.


Caffeine is a drug, but sometimes, the other things we put in our coffee can be even more hazardous to our health. Like artificial sweeteners, or mountains of pure uncut cocaine.

A Berlin coffee company was ready to receive its morning delivery of delicious Brazilian beans, but when workers opened up the packages to begin the best part of waking up, they found an unexpected bonus: a completely unrequested duffel bag overstuffed with 73 pounds of cocaine worth $1.8 million, by the police's estimate. Add a couple of cans of Red Bull and that shipment could legally be classified as a WMD.

Authorities don't yet know who slipped it into the delivery, nor do they know where the offending product was meant to be delivered. They only know that the beans came from Brazil and that inspections at the nearby Bremerhaven port turned up nothing suspicious. So either somebody at the port is pulling a Tony Montana or that place employed the worst inspectors. Alternatively, maybe the illegal drug industry was feeling generous (it was the season of giving, after all) and intentionally gave away those 73 pounds of love to a random stranger. We may never know the truth.


Source 1, 2 & 3.

Has this happened with you? Tell us in the comments below. Share this article and spread laughter around.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.