Morbid People Share The Ways They Hope They End Up Dying

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"(I)n this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." ~ Benjamin Franklin

In this life, no one gets out alive. People are obsessed with death and dying or mortally afraid of it. But since we'll all die eventually, 

"How do you want to die?" 

Here are the most interesting answers to that question.

Priorities

In my sleep. Preferably sometime after next week. I want to watch UFC (title fight) first. Brutal_Brian

Very Funny

Sometimes i wish i can die from laughter. like laughing too hard to a joke and pass away. but of course not now, like when im 70 or 80. getyourownwifi

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On My Terms

A planned end-of-life ceremony, with stellar drugs for a pain-free passing, when I am older than 85 years. This would be more than 50 years in the future, so I'm hoping it's not still horribly taboo by then. I've got no interest in having my butt wiped by an underpaid nurse while my mind and body goes to mush.  Shiny_Vulvasaur

Who Doesn't?

(I want to die) Happy.

(Don't we all?)  Zakarrii

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Like a King

The way Elvis was rumored to have died. Sitting on the toilet, eating a sandwich.  Blue-eyed-lightning

Either Or

Either in the most badass way possible or quick and painless with all my memories intact.  TheSorge

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The Healing Power of Michael Landon

It's lame, but I want to die of very, very old age. I don't think most people stop and realize what a gift old age really is.

It dawned on me recently when I was watching an episode of Highway to Heaven.  VaticanTwoTheSequel

Unexpected

I Want to die Monty Python style. (No one expects that...)  scoops3

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Asphyxiation

Cara Delevigne... smothering me to death while...  TROEWAWAY9916

Hold My Beer...

In such a blaze of glory that my birthday is a national holiday and schools are named after me.  I_moo_at_horses

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Immediate Gratification

In any way that's instantly to be honest.  ThatYoungBro

Moving Violation

I would like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Grandpa did.

And not screaming in terror like his passengers.  DrColdReality

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I'll Pass

I don't (want to die).  AFGNCAAP_Paradigm

Finish him!

Slain in 1 on 1 honorable combat.  nakedSpider

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Cat Lady

Licked to death by kittens.  heist776

Evel Knievel

Jumping a motorcycle off a ramp into an active volcano, with an orchestra playing the 1812 Overture in the background.

Using actual cannons.  ddejong42

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On My Own Terms Part 2

Heroin overdose.  Hear me out. Odds are I will develop a terminal illness by 60. Figure I'll treat what I can to keep it manageable. Heroin is cheaper than most pain meds so I'll use that once things really get heady. I'll keep upping my doses until I just die. Preferably in the grass under the night sky. Barefoot.  snakeoil-huckster

Poetic Justice

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?"

*gets shot

I see it as fitting for myself, since I'm a little to sarcastic.  RampantPuppy

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In the Year 2525...

Respirator unplugged by Emma Stone's great, great, great, great, great granddaughter.  RamRun

Does He Have a Driver's License?

Being run over by a monster truck driven by the Incredible Hulk.  BigBossWesker4

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Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries...

Mysteriously, in the Bermuda Triangle. I wanna be a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode someday.  Happycass

The Meaning of Life

I want to be chased by dozens of nude women, eventually leading to a cliff that I fall off of, landing perfectly in my grave, where the funeral is waiting to happen.  beardingmesoftly

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Dust to Dust

I want to be swallowed whole by a giant among giants, where my whole body is only a fraction of the teeth that inevitably grind me into a fine white dust.  notApollogising

Back Out the Way I Came In

I want to be swallowed by an anaconda, feet first. As my body slides backwards into a flesh tunnel through a gaping maw, my life will have a certain symmetry.  LittleGravitasIndeed

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Me Last

In my sleep on an unexpected night after all my loved ones die (excluding any that come later on in life obviously).  agamemnons

Swarm

I don't know how exactly, but I want to be able to yell "There's too many of them!!!"  nightwing2024

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A Good Day to Die

Heroically.  (With rousing theme music.) DaCheesiestEchidna

A Little From Column A...

Part of me wants to pass surrounded by a large family. Going gracefully to the ever after content that I had passed on a good legacy.

Another part wants to go in a fiery high speed crash while strapped into a ridiculously fast car and being pursued by every law enforcement agency I can piss off.

Another part is content dying alone while watching Game Show reruns.  WanderingDestere

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Take It Like a Man Kif!

(Death by) Snu-snu!  "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!"  icecreampopncereal downsouthcountry

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You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.

The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.

Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"

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