Mortified People Share The Dumbest Thing They've Said On A Date.

First dates are always awkward, but they can be made much worse if you say something totally stupid...

Many thanks to all those who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article.

1. After a night out with this girl I've been courting, we went back to my place and started fooling around. We got into my room where she knelt down and began to take my pants off.

Once I was naked she said "wow you're really big". Trying to be humble, I responded "nah, I've seen bigger"

It was very awkward.


2. Me and this girl (cousin of a friend from school) were on a date, I had just finished telling her a story about a dramatic event that happened to me when I was younger.

She said "wow, that's how serial killers are made."

A very dumb comment but I thought it opened up the door for me to say "how do you know I'm not."

Apparently it didn't come off as light hearted as I thought.

The rest of the night was just downhill and awkward. The goodbye was "see ya".

I called her 2 days later and left a message, she never called back and I just left it alone.


3. I was on a date with a lovely girl, we'd been out a few times before and really hit it off. I had a notion that this was going to be the first night we'd have sex (she asked if she could stay the night at my place since she lived across town and we were drinking) so I was more nervous than normal.

We finished dinner, ordered some after-dinner drinks and the check came. I prefer to pay on dates, but she didn't like the fact that I'd paid for everything so she demanded to pick up the check. I was going to offer to pay the tip, but I was thinking about sex (per usual) so I said to her "At least let me pay for the sex."

I didn't even realize what I'd said, but her face went from a smile to a quizzical half-frown... and then she burst out laughing. She asked me if I knew what I just said and I said that I'd asked to pay for the tip. She informed me of what I'd actually said and I turned beet red, apologizing profusely.

We left the restaurant, I offered to pay her cab fare home if she was uncomfortable. She declined and whispered "The sex is free" in my ear.

We'll celebrate our 4th anniversary on Thursday.


4. I got this fellas, sit back. I asked a blind date if she had any cute single friends.


5. This was more just me hanging out with a girl I had been dating for a little while. We were talking and she brought up the fact that her biological father was a sperm donor. We had already talked about this before and I didn't really have anything particular to keep that conversation going besides "That really increases your chances of accidental incest, you know."


6. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house and she broke up with me.

I pretty much begged, and while begging, used a phrase that will haunt my manhood and the manhood of every man in existence. I used a phrase that should only be used for the most manly of times.

"Put me back in the game coach!"

I've since grown bigger balls.


7. When I was 16 I was on a date and in an attempt to be funny (because you know, girls like funny guys) I racked my brain trying to come up with a funny story.

The first thing to popup in my mind was a story a friend had once told me, about a jacket he had seen one of his girl friends wearing. The brand was Identity, and the name was displayed centered on the front of the jacket, with the zip splitting the word in half. Iden | tity. Now, to a 16 year old guy's mind, that is hilarious. A girl walking around with the word "tity", basically labelling her tity's?

So I told the story and started laughing! She looks up at me with a completely numb face, and then looks down at her jacket.

This was 2 hours or so into the date. I hadn't noticed that she was wearing the exact jacket I was making fun of.



8. "So, your profile picture, was that your sister or something?"


9. This was said to me, but it fits.

Met a guy on vacation. Chatted online for a while, liked each other. Decided to have our first "real" date. While eating, guy told me a story about the time his father shoved a cat in a pillowcase and slammed it into the pavement. Told him his story was horrible and to stop talking. He apologized. Tried to make me feel better by reassuring me that afterwards, his father bashed it's head in with a shovel.


10. It wasn't a date per se, but very early on in my relationship with my ex we were on the train from CT to NY and sitting across the aisle from us was a young woman with an adorable puppy. After my ex let out an audible "aww," I somehow managed to say "I love f-----g dogs" instead of "I ... love dogs."

His response was "Do I need to hold you back?"


11. Wanting to compliment on my date's intelligence I said:

"I have met stupider girls than you, so you are really ok".


12. "Hey look you have a nervous tic.... oh, it's getting worse"


13. One time I was kind of on a "hang-out" date with a girl and we were watching a movie over at my apartment. We were holding hands and she started innocently stroking my arm.

She asks "how do you get your skin so soft" without missing a beat I reply with a whisper "I bathe in virgin's blood" ...later I found out that she was, in fact, a virgin.


14. Visiting Manhattan, watching a Rangers game in a bar by myself. Cute girl comes up and starts chatting with me, mentions that she's Dominican. I don't remember my exact words but I somehow brought up Cholera in the first 30 seconds and that was that.


15. My date was telling me how she had mono a year or two prior, and I replied "Yeah, I thought I had mono for an entire year, turns out I was just really bored" ala Wayne's World. We are engaged now.


16. Not something I said, but was said to me.

I am taking the dude home after a somewhat awkward first date. I wasn't too into him and he was just so obviously nervous. As I am turning into the parking lot where his car is he mentions he wants to tell me something, but it too embarrassed/nervous.

"Um, I should tell you something."


"No, nevermind."

"Just tell me. I hate when people do that. Go ahead."

"Well... I just thought you should know that... I'm uncircumcised."

"Oh... ok."

In my head: WHAT THE HECK. I don't care that your uncircumcised and I'm kind of offended that you feel the need to tell me anything about your penis on our first date. I doubted very much that I would be seeing that penis anytime soon. I was so embarrassed for him!

10 months later... We live together and I see that penis far too often.


17. One time on the first date between me and this girl the topic of underwear came up. We were talking about which we liked, and which we didn't like. Stupid stuff you only talk about to make conversation. At one I responded to her "You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?"

It was a shotty reference at best, and not very funny. She had never even watched Seinfeld. The next couple minutes were a little awkward, trying to pretend I didn't just say something that stupid.


18. Technically the date had finished, and she'd invited me back to her place.

While in her room, we were slow dancing, solid, deep eye contact. I was going in for the kiss, she was deliberately teasing me by pulling away or brushing my lips with hers, had her fingers in my hair, I had my nails running down her back, the sexual tension was like electricity in the air.

She leans forward, kisses my neck and whispers in my ear "Have you ever had to work this hard before?"



19. I went a date with this guy back in college who was majoring in math. I told him that really stupid joke "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9."

He didn't laugh.


20. Took a girl out to dinner, had a few drinks, go back and watch a movie at my place. Midway through the movie, boner jam's ensue. After we finish, I reached over to my nightstand for my glasses and missed, ended up hitting one of those buttons from Staples, "THAT WAS EASY!". We've been dating for 6 months now.


21. When I was 17 a girl messaged me on myspace wanting to hang out. I thought she was pretty cute so I agreed to meet her for some games at her place which her family joined in on.

She had on a shirt with really short sleeves revealing a few horizontal, parallel lines just below her shoulder. Wanting to make light conversation and being the "funny" guy that I am, I asked, "Where'd you get those cuts on your arms? Do you cut yourself?"

As soon as I finished cracking that "joke", my sheltered Utah childhood came crashing down around me as I realized that people actually did do that, and I'd just called one out right in front of her family.


22. Early on with my now ex. We're fooling around. She liked to talk dirty. She's really good at it (or maybe I'm just really easy). Anyways, each time she says something I feel the need to respond (it got her going). This has been going for awhile and honestly, I'm running out of ideas fast. Only enough blood to run 1 organ at a time ladies.

Long story short, she goes "I want you inside me." and me fumbling around trying to quickly think of something to push this perfect moment over the edge attempted to say something along the lines "I want to be inside you." (only sexier, ok not really) but instead it came out "I want your c--k.".

I have never wanted to just die and fade from existence anymore in my entire life. She on the other hand pushes me back a bit off her stares into my eyes and laughs uncontrollably for oh I'd say a good 20-30 minutes. That pretty much ended my chances for that night and many to come.


23. I went on a blind double date. My roommate and his gf set me up with one of her friends. We went to Dave & Buster's. After dinner we go to play some games. There's this one game that is a giant electric chair. You sit in it and hold on to these brass handles that vibrate intensely, giving you a very odd sensation. The point is to hold on as long as possible to achieve more tickets.

Anyway, the date was going slowly and we didn't interact much at dinner. I hop on this chair and give it a try. It feels crazy and my roommate and I are laughing our butts off. She just stands about 20 feet away acting aloof. When the chair stops I keep trying to get her to come try it. I try to get a laugh out of her by acting like I'm being shocked. She turns around and leaves. Later that night my roommate tells me that her uncle was put to death in the electric chair the previous month. We live in Texas. /facepalm


24. In college, I had just walked a girl back to her dorm after a night out. We were making out in front of said dorm, I was probably about to get laid, and I said "I had a lot of fun tonight, Heather."

Her name was not Heather. I did not get laid.


25. Senior year of high school I got setup on a date with a girl who was around my age. She was clearly into me, because she'd only really dated university guys, but she'd insisted that her friends set us up on a date. So she's flirting, and I'm flirting, and all is going according to plan. We're on our second drink (legal drinking age is 18 here) and I can see where the night is headed. So I go "so you're all single now hey?" And she smiles coyly and says "yes I am" - I swear she was just shy of doing one of those sexy winks. Then she asks me if I'm single. Well of course I'm single, otherwise I wouldn't be on a date. But in my infinite wisdom, I see that as an opening to moan and complain about my ex. Twenty minutes later the date was over and I phoned my friends to go out and drown the sorrows of my own stupidity. I learnt my lesson, though: never. talk. about. ex's.


26. This is something I said and did, but it definitely fits the theme.

So I met a girl, went on a date, everything was pretty standard. I got wayyyy too drunk, but somehow charmed this girl into bed. We were getting down to business when I felt that she had a Nuva ring, which I then proceeded to pull out of her and throw onto my erection while saying "throw the ring, win a prize" like some sort of carnival game guy. Needless to say, she was immediately turned off. We didn't end up completing the deed, she kicked me out, and we never spoke again.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.