Mortified People Share The Most Unintentionally Creepy Thing They've Ever Said.

Have you ever said something out loud that sounded much better in your head? Here, people share the most unintentionally creepy thing that has ever come out of their mouths.


1/30. My dog was sick so I went to Walgreen's to get a rectal thermometer for my dog. I looked for Vaseline but all they had was some off-brand lube. I stopped an employee to ask if that lube is safe for dogs. Oh, the look of horror that she gave me.


2/30. In an elevator with my wife, who is petite while I am tall. Gentleman gets in and after some small talk asks, "And is this your daughter?" For reasons still unknown and, to this day, I still question myself about, I enthusiastically responded, "I wish!"

After one floor of dead silence, I mumbled, "I don't think that came out right..." and the gentleman just mumbled, "Yeah, mm-hmm" and promptly got off on the next floor.


3/30. One day I'm walking and I see there is a squirrel like a foot from me. I whisper, "I'm so close to you," smiling at it, and a lady I had not previously noticed turned around and gave me the most upset and scared look while she got the heck away from me.


4/30. Male, and I normally wear boxer underwear. But as it happened, one night out at clubs, I happened to be wearing some distinctively patterned briefs that I'd received as an Xmas gift. Standing on the sidewalk at closing I catch a glimpse of a girl in white pants, and the light is such that I can see the print on her panties. Lo and behold, it's the same as the one's I am wearing. Thinking this gives us an instant connection, I start towards her yelling, "Hey, check it out," while unzipping my pants


5/30. I was hanging out with some friends, and one couple had a crying baby. It was giving me a headache, so when it suddenly stopped crying, I mumbled in what must've been a super creepy voice, "Oh yeah, that's nice."

Everyone else got silent, so I looked up. The baby was breast feeding.


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6/30. I was at PetsMart with my girlfriend. I walked around while she shopped for "dog christmas presents" and I looked at the fish and the small animals. In one area of the store, there are cages that contain guinea pigs, some of which are fluffy with long hair and look cuddly. There was a young lady with shoulder-length blonde hair looking intently at one of the guinea pigs. My girlfriend had the exact same haircut.

I came up behind her, put my face kind of beside her head and above her shoulder and said in a whisper, "They look so soft..." (in reference to the guinea pig). At the same time I rested my hand on her hip, pretty low towards the butt area.

Of course it wasn't her, it was some college girl looking at guinea pigs.

The worst part is that I realized when I touched her that it wasn't my girlfriend and consequently let out a this shaky gasp of shock and horror directly into her ear, like I was breathing on it. She whipped around and started to say something to me but stopped and just ran out of the store when she saw who it was. I had a full beard. There was an employee like 5 feet away who saw the whole thing and did absolutely nothing.


7/30. I worked at a summer camp. There was an 11-year-old female camper who had a tank top that said "sexy" on it.

On our time off all the counsellors were hanging out and talking about inappropriate things campers would say/do. I tried to join in the conversation by saying "Did you guys see the girl with the sexy tank top?"

Just as I said that another counsellor had walked into the group and exclaimed, "What the heck is wrong with you? She's like 11.


8/30. A female friend of mine - to whom I was admittedly attracted - had been expressing her reservations about an upcoming vacation with her family. Though it wasn't being overtly presented as such, the trip was meant as a way of re-solidifying her parents' marriage, which had been a touch rocky at the time. They would all be driving from San Francisco to Redding (which is a small town in the middle of absolutely nowhere in Northern California), where they'd stay at a bed-and-breakfast inn for a weekend before continuing northward for some unknown destination.

In keeping with the alleged purpose of this so-called vacation, my friend's parents had booked two rooms at the inn. To her dismay, though, my friend discovered that her mother would be occupying one room, her father would have the other, and that she and her sister would each have to bunk with one of their parents. This was worthy of lament on its own, but it was made unforgivably worse by the verbal diarrhea that I offered in an attempt at providing comfort:

"Aw, it won't be so bad!" I told my friend. "Your father will probably enjoy sleeping with you."

A moment passed before I realized what I had said. Then, with a feeling of growing horror, I tried to explain myself. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that!" I hurriedly said. "I mean, like, he's probably sick of sleeping with your mom. No, wait, I mean... I just mean that he wants to spend some quality time with his daughter."

If I had stopped there, I might have been able to salvage the situation... but as it happened, I decided that the best course of action would be to keep talking. "I can't say that I blame him, really. I'd love to sleep with you."

She and I don't talk much these days.


9/30. Right in the middle of sex and while trying to talk dirty I said, "I can feel your woooomb."

We were both creeped out, stopped for a minute to laugh, and continued.


10/30. During an impromptu speech, I meant to say, "Even though I can't shoot hoops with the kids anymore, it's still a part of me."

I, accidentally, said:

"Even though I can't shoot kids anymore, it's still a part of me."


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11/30. Picking up a chair I bought on Craigslist from a single, attractive woman. She expressed concern that it might not fit in my car. I said, "No problem, I can throw it in the trunk. I have some rope just in case I need to kidnap someone." She was clearly frightened.


12/30. I suddenly yelled, "You all are making me hard!" to a class of high school students when I was a student teacher.

What I had actually meant to say is something like, "You all are making this hard to do."

Yeah...I didn't really live that one down. Every time I asked certain students to do something they would say "Ok, Mr. FeelAsleepOnKeyboard, I certainly wouldn't want to make you hard again."


13/30. This happened way back when I was about 14. I went to the movies with a couple friends, and this cute girl about my age came up and said,"If I give you a hug, will you give me a quarter?" pointing to the gumball/tiny toy machines.

I reach in my pocket and realize all I have is a $5 bill, so I say, "What do I get for $5?"

Yeah, did NOT think that one through. First time I ever got slapped by a girl


14/30. Very nice grocery store cashier told me she hoped I have a wonderful day. I have no idea what possessed me to respond with a friendly, "Thank you, I hope you never die." She was probably scared to walk to her car that night.


15/30. Was at the university, and some girls were out in the grass in bikinis trying to get a tan. My friend says, "Damn, those girls look great."

I look over, and think they really aren't to my tastes. Just down the street were some people passing out hotdogs for student elections. I get sidetracked and say, "They'd probably taste great with some mustard."



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16/30. There's a gas station behind the restaurant I work at. So, one day, whilst on break, I walked over and bought a bunch of snacky items and a couple scratch offs.

On my way out, a girl bumps into me, and I dropped my items. She's wearing nothing but a sports bra and running shorts, she's also covered in sweat. I'm assuming she just finished jogging.

She's apologizing profusely, and I don't want her to feel bad, so I just say, "Hey, don't worry, it happens all the time."

"Sweaty girls bump into you all the time?" she asks.

Without thinking, I say "Oh god, I wish."

She turned red, apologized, and left.


17/30. One of my friends was speaking with a young hostess at work about how cold their basements were. He had just put in a space heater and was calling it his man-cave as he was explaining his new set up. He then proceeded to ask the girl how her "woman cave" was, if it was warm and moist like his is.

Needless to say, they won't make eye contact anymore.


18/30. The 3DS has a feature where it recognizes other 3DS consoles in the area and you can then see the other person's Mii. The more people you meet the more access you get to mini-games.

I often carry it with me to work and once told my wife that I was "picking up kids."

I actually meant that I was picking up their signal from their 3DS.


19/30. I bartend on the weekends at a major chain restaurant. The POS stations (the computers where we plug all the orders in) won't allow credit card tips over 30% without manager approval. They need to swipe a card to make it work. So it was the end of the night, just me and my manager behind the bar, and I say to him, "Can you help me put this tip in it's too big to enter."


20/30. I was moving into a new apartment and had my door open because I was loading stuff in.

The new neighbor came out into the hall and we passed each other. She was young and female.

She looks inside my apartment through the open door and jokes, "I'm not worried about you being a rapist, because a rapist wouldn't have a bed like that."

What I should have said, was nothing.

What I did say is "You'd be surprised".


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21/30. I once told a colleague that he had something in his teeth, he said he didn't care and what I wanted to say was, "I wish I had the balls to do that" and what came out was..."I want your testicles."

Got away lightly with a weird look for that one.


22/30. Was driving back from a first date with a girl. It went poorly. I was even more shy, nervous, and awkward back then. We're driving through an area with lots of plains, not a car in sight for miles. Gas is starting to run low and I decide we should head for a gas station.

And then I blurted out, "Man, we could both die out here and nobody would ever find our bodies."

She looked horrified for a few seconds. I then realized, "Oh man...we should find a gas station" was something I didn't say out loud before that; I just thought it in my mind. I stumbled towards explaining what I actually meant by that morbid comment. Needless to say, the rest of the trip was kinda quiet and weird.


23/30. I was working for my college campus TV station and determined to prove myself. Bill Clinton was coming to campus for Hillary's presidential campaign (2008) and I was going to find a story if it killed me. Everything that went wrong could. On the day of the rally I overslept, so no time for a shower and a shave. When I got to the campus tech center all the cameras were rented out already, so I had to run home to grab my crappy old personal Handi-cam that had seen better days. Ran back over to the site, realize I forgot my press pass but just kept walking into the crowd out of sheer momentum.

I was looking to find anything and then I heard them: "Go Hillary girl power yayyy!" A few rows behind me are three girls with a handmade glittery sign for Hillary. I think it's perfect and in my excitement I walk up to the girls, camera out, not even introducing myself, and say leaning in close "Hey girls, you make that sign yourself?"

Then their mother grabbed my arm and asked, "What are you doing?"

And then I had an out of body experience, realizing I was a smelly, unshaven, disheveled dude with no press credentials and what looked like my personal jerk off cam. I ran away pretty quick.


24/30. I used to work at the UPS store and male customer came in and without even thinking I said, "Wow you have a huge package!" It was awkward to say the least.


25/30. I was at a Halloween party at a friend's house and there was a girl there named Turquoise. The next day, I was trying to remember her name and so I asked my friend, "Hey, what was that colored girl's name again?" I am white, my friend is Black. He almost punched me in the face until he realized what I was getting at.


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26/30. I worked at a cafe/bistro in Kona, Hawaii as a dishwasher when I was an awkward 19-year-old. When it was slow, they would send the servers home and I'd walk orders out to tables.

One day this lady was breastfeeding her kid in full view at her table and of course I was the only one available to take her drink out to her, so I take her coffee out to her and try like hell to avoid eye contact. I end up spilling a small carafe of milk at her table. SUPER! So, I had to come back out to clean up the milk mess and be more awkward and I was trying to make small talk, so this came out of my mouth: "I can't believe how much milk those li'l things can hold!"

Yeah, I actually said that. Her jaw dropped and I just walked back inside and sat in the employee bathroom on the toilet for like half an hour with a really, really hot face just replaying the moment over and over in my head. My face still gets hot with embarrassment just thinking about it.


27/30. I'm a preschool teacher. As I was leading my class down to the indoor playroom a couple weeks ago a child asked where we were going. I said, "To the climber! It's nice to spread our legs!" which didn't seem quite right to me, though I couldn't figure out why.

I also noticed another teacher giving me a weird look.

Later, I realized I meant to say "stretch our legs" and felt pretty embarrassed and creepy for the rest of the day.


28/30. I attended a Pixar masterclass in Chicago in 2012. It was a two day lecture series held by Mathew Luhn (Story Artist) and Andrew Gordon (Animator). As an animation student at the time, I could barely contain my excitement through both lectures. These guys created the films and stories that lead me to dedicate my life to animation. I swear I only used the edge of my seat for the 16 or so hours that they were presenting. I learned a lot and enjoyed every minute of it.

After the masterclass concluded, they were kind enough to hang around and sign our workbooks. In true awesome animator style, they didn't just put their names in our books but would also draw characters from the movies that they were involved with. I was excited to just shake the hands of these men and tell them thank you for not just the class but also the career and life inspiration. I waited in line patiently. I could see them drawing Mike Wasowskis and Buzz Lightyears on peoples' books and was trying to figure out what I would ask for. My turn finally approaches and I walk up to Mathew Luhn, shake his hand and ramble about appreciation, hand him my book and he says, "What can I give you today?"

I look him straight in the eye and say, "I was hoping you could give me a Woody."


29/30. I was at brunch in the cafeteria at my college sitting with a group of friends. I got a cup of coffee, which I usually took black, except for the one at that cafeteria, because it was so terrible that you needed to add something to make it drinkable. I sat down I tried to pour a little bit of creamer, but ended up overdoing it and it spilled onto my lap. That's when I loudly said, "Shoot, I just creamed my pants!" My friends all looked at me for a second and then laughed when they realized what had happened.


30/30. I was driving once in pretty industrial city and I see two ducks, a male and a female clearly lost waddling around no where near any water. I pulled up to the corner, rolled down the window and said, "You guys need a ride?"

Both ducks looked at me and I drove off laughing maniacally. I was the only one in the car. It took a few days to realize how weird that was.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.