Mortified People Share Their Worst 'This Isn't What It Looks Like!' Moments.
Have you ever been caught doing something that, out of context, seemed totally suspicious? Here, mortified people share their worst "this isn't what it looks like!" moments.
1/25. I was a swim coach for teenage high school girls when I was in my mid twenties. The job often required getting in the pool, demonstrating swim strokes, etc.
I was at the mall, and I saw one of my students walking towards me with her parents. I said hello to her twice before she noticed me, and once she realized who I was she said, "Oh hey [my name], I didn't recognize you with all of your clothes on!"
2/25. I was masturbating with a blanket covering my body, when my cat came up and sat on my chest. My brother walked in and saw. I hope he doesn't think I was jerking it to the cat.
3/25. A few years ago, I (22-year-old male) took my 4-year-old nephew for a walk to a park near my house. After a few minutes of running around, he tells me he needs to pee. Since we had just gotten there and I didn't want to walk back already, I told him we could find a place for him to pee outside. I guess my sister had never done this with him before, and I'll never forget the look of pure excitement on his face when I told him he was allowed to pee outside.
We walk to the end of the park so we're not around too many people, and I tell him he can pee behind this bush in front of us. Now he is having trouble getting his pants unbuttoned, so I go behind the bush and proceed to help him get his pants pulled down.
Well right as I was doing this, some little kid, probably about 10, had thrown his football right near this bush where my nephew was peeing, and when he ran over to get it, he saw me bending over and struggling to pull a four years olds pants off behind a bush.
He runs away screaming to his mom about a creepy guy touching some little boy behind the bush, and I just made my nephew hurry up and we got the hell outta there before there was any confrontation. It still makes me laugh to think about.
4/25. One time I was helping out my girlfriend in her office at the Microsoft building where we both worked. While she typed away, I was under her desk (one of those table things with no sides), fumbling with Ethernet cables.
A gaggle of office gossips came in to talk to my gf, and from the conversation, I realized they had no idea I was under there. Eventually one of them saw me, and I emerged, and they were all...unduly delighted. And thus was the myth of my office cunnilingus born.
5/25. Years ago, my good friend landed his first girlfriend and was pretty psyched about it. He was also hanging on to dear life with this girl and would rarely bring her around the rest of his friends. This kinda annoyed us and so we purposefully tried to embarrass him one time.
His family never locked the house so it was natural for any of his friends to let ourselves in. He would come home and one of us would be there, watching TV or something. No knock policy. We took advantage of this while he was out with his girlfriend one night and also while his parents were out of town.
We let ourselves in, went to the basement and dug up old Halloween costumes they had over the years. An astronaut costume, a crayon, a caveman, a donkey, and a Hulk Hogan costume. Then we hid around the room and waited until he got home.
Eventually we hear the door open and everyone is tickled to death that he's going to come downstairs and see all of us in these ridiculous costumes. The door to the room opens and we hear footsteps coming downstairs. The lights turn on and
It's his grandparents.
They were checking on the house, just making sure nothing was left on while the parents were on vacation and they saw all of us standing there in these costumes. It was awkward for a good 10 seconds until someone tried to explain we were pranking their grandson before he got home.
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6/25. This guy I started seeing came into my bar to hang out with me while I worked and we ended up leaving for about twenty minutes to grab some food down the street. It was a super hot day, so we were both already sweaty and I was sun burnt from the previous day.
He playfully roughed up my hair while we were walking, but I didn't realize how much. So we get back and the only customers at the bar were my regulars and they're all just giving me like "way to go!" looks after he left and kept dropping sly remarks. It wasn't until I looked in the mirror and saw how disheveled I looked that I realized they thought we were out in my car having sex. I ran out mortified and they still don't let me live it down to this day.
7/25. Every time a sex scene comes on in a movie. Someone always barges into my room.
8/25. Many years ago I had just transferred to a new college in town and started a new semester. There was this hot guy in my class that I had my eye on but I hadn't worked up the nerve to talk to him yet. One weekend my gay male friend convinced me to go to church with him and since he and I both loved kids but didn't have any of our own, we thought it would be fun to "borrow" a friend's newborn baby girl and dress her up and take her to church.
Of course while I am at church with a straight acting gay male and a tiny newborn baby, totally looking like a little family, I look across the way and see the hot guy from my class! He gave me a little smile and I just wanted to scream "He's gay and she's not mine! I'm totally available!" Needless to say I did not hook up with the hot guy from class.
9/25. A few years ago I was at a friends BBQ with about 20 adults and 8 kids. My daughter was there along with three other girls all around her age (8). They were all sharing a bedroom and about to go to sleep and they asked me for a bedtime story.
Not being able to think of one I told them how the solar system was formed using different balls in the room. Once I had done my Astronomy 101 they started asking all types of questions on all different topics. They said I was great because I explained everything well and their parents didn't.
Then one girl asked about sex. I quickly replied that they need to talk with their parents about that, but they didn't stop. Four 8-year-old girls started chanting SEX, SEX, SEX at me, quite scarily. I said I couldn't answer that and said goodnight.
I went back out to the party grabbed a beer and forgot about my embarrassing situation. I'm there talking to a couple of friends when I hear the chant again, getting louder and louder.
They continue chanting SEX, SEX, SEX as they run up to me, grab my hands trying to pull me inside. Crap, this doesn't look good. Three sets of parents run up and grab their kids and take them off to different corners of the yard asking them what's going on.
Luckily they were all level headed and we had a laugh about it, but I was sure I was about to go onto some sort of list. On the bright side, I haven't been asked to babysit since.
10/25. Living in military dorms, I had two male friends over for dinner. We hung out in my room and left the door open, for our safety. Well, we got to wrestling and they both tickled me mercilessly. One of the guys grabbed some duck tape and threatened to tape me. Cue my roommate walking in. Awkward.
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11/25. I was working on an essay in high school. It was literally the last thing I had to do before graduating, and at the time, I didn't have a printer at my house. So, I just typed it up at my friend's house so I could print it off there. My friend (a junior) thought it would be funny to randomly interrupt me by doing pelvic thrusts in my face (we're both dudes).
I was spending pretty much all day typing up this essay with this guy randomly interrupting my zone in the most annoying way possible. So the first thing I do after I finish the essay is walk into the room he is in playing video games. He was, at this point, on a hard level, so I stand straight in front of him for a double point comeback, both blocking his view of the T.V. and pelvic thrusting. Right then his mom came in to ask us what we wanted for dinner. She drops what she was holding, puts her hands on her cheeks and says, "BOYS NO! THAT'S VULGAR!" in the most 1950's mom voice possible.
12/25. I was looking at a thrift store when I was a teenager and went into the little boy's section (Im a girl) to check out their t-shirts. There were tons with goofy sayings and I exclaimed, "I LOVE little boys!" to which a mother pulled her young son away from me.
13/25. I was trying to crawl over a friend to get up from the couch to use the restroom. A male friend, I may add (I am female). This is at the time as a teenager when your parents have zero trust for you being in the same room as someone of the opposite sex.
They sent my little brother to check on me and my friends, to make sure we weren't having an orgy apparently. He comes into the room just as Im attempting to crawl over my friend and fall, straddling his lap. My brother's eyes get huge and he runs upstairs screaming, "Moooooooooooooommmm!!!!!!!!
Of course, I stumble awkwardly over my friend, knee him in the junk, and run upstairs after my brother saying, "No! no! it's not what it looked like!!" And of course, saying that just sounds incriminating. My mom stormed downstairs and kicked all of my friends out, threatening to call all of their parents. Every person in the room testified that it wasn't anything improper going on, it was just a misunderstanding. They still had to go home and I couldnt have friends over for a month after that.
14/25. Once upon a time two years ago, during my senior year of high school, I was preparing for my favorite teacher's birthday by buying her a card while stopping at CVS. Since we'd been close throughout the year, I decided opted for a "Happy Birthday Mom" card, to make her feel extra beloved on her special day.
As I'd already trekked across the store to get the card, I began racking my brain for household supplies I was low on. "Oh, [ex's name] is sleeping over this weekend; I'd better get us some condoms!" Being the thoughtful boyfriend I was, I picked up a massive 36 pleasure pack, then made my way to the register, thoughts of my weekend's activities fresh in my head.
I did not realize the mistake I'd made until the mid-20s woman at the register let out a groan of disgust while she bagged my "happy birthday mom" card and 36-pack of Durex pleasure condoms.
15/25. When I was probably in 8th or 9th grade I was a really big Detroit Pistons fan. I would read online blogs about them a lot. There was one that was called "Detroitbadboys.com" but once I accidentally typed in "badboys.com". And like you might expect it was a gay porn site. Few weeks later, mom is checking the history and finds this and asks me about it. Super awkward
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16/25. For those of you that don't know what Visual Novels are, they are basically a cross between a video game and a comic book and usually are made by Japanese developers. VNs can often time contain pornographic content that may or may not be switched off in the menu.
Anyways, I have a friend that was playing a VN called Utawarerumono without knowing that there was porn scenes in it. This particular game was also a strategy game and he didn't bother also downloading the English patch for it as well.
So while he was burning through the game and ignoring all of the text he couldn't read anyways, he thought that it simply was just your run-of-the-mill Turn Based Strategy game. Apparently his sister came down to talk while he was playing and he had just gotten to one of those parts of the game and all he could say was "I swear to god, I didn't know."
17/25. I gave blood yesterday and they "lost" the vein when it apparently did a weird twinge and rolled after they stuck it. They tried to find the vein again, but after stabbing my arm muscles a few times and causing considerable bruising, they gave up.
When I picked up a friends girlfriend today who used to do heroin, she looked at my arm, looked me in the face with a furrowed brow, and asked very plainly, "... did you miss?"
It took me a minute to realize that she assumed I was a heroin junkie.
18/25. I work from home and have an office beside my downstairs bathroom. My in-laws were staying for about a week at the time. One morning I had an early morning meeting and so I skipped my shower and planned to shower after my meeting. So instead of getting dressed I took my clothes down to my office and wore my bath robe to the meeting.
When I was done I took my shower and realized my clothes were still in my office. So I went in to my office, sat at my desk, and started dressing. I had my shirt and socks etc. on and was just putting my pants on when my boss sent me an instant message.
So I immediately responded and my father-in-law walked in just in time to see me behind my desk with my pants around my ankles. He tried to act nonchalant and went about his business. If I tried to explain it would have sounded made up so I didn't try. We both just went about our business.
19/25. Getting walked in on while setting up a wank session- the webpage up was the Icelandic penis museum, a random wiki link (homepage is wiki random).
Mum walks in on me with a raging bone applying lube. Switched pornhub tab over to Icelandic penis museum tab. Had to switch it back and hang my head, and myself.
20/25. I was Skyping my friend and her dad when I was in high school and they had been outside in their pool all day. My friend had to leave the room to go do something, and bout that time my own dad walks into my room to see me skyping a shirtless middle-aged man.
"Dad this isn't what it looks like."
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21/25. I used to deliver food at a Chinese restaurant while I was in college. I was also fond of drinking large amounts of alcohol as were all of my friends. Pretty much every time I would roll into work hungover possibly wearing the clothes from the night before if I didn't have time for a shower.
This is what happened on the day in question.
I arrive at work and go back into the kitchen to check to see if there were any orders. After coming back into the dining area a waitress shows me a sock and asks me if it was mine. I said no because I was wearing both of my socks... She said that she saw it fall out of my pants and then started speaking Mandarin to the other wait staff and laughing.
They thought I was stuffing my junk to make it look bigger when in reality I was just wearing the jeans from the night before that one sock got stuck in. That's what I get for being hungover.
22/25. For a couple of days this lady had been bringing her dog to our yard to poop, so the next time she came by my mom had me tail her. The overall plan was to find out where she lived so we could take her dogs crap and light it on fire on her porch.
When she figured out I was tailing her I backed off and headed home. When I got home I walked in the door and yelled, "I'm back from stalking that lady!"
On the other side of the house I saw some of my dad's friends and immediately thought about what I just said and yelled, "Ok there is context to this!"
23/25. Alright so my friend (male) and myself (female) had a hide and seek game planned out for all our friends. We were going to give people items to find so we went to the dollar store to get some items. One of our friends was scared of condoms so we thought lol lets get some.
So we head to the check out with a box of condoms, granny panties, children's toys, rope and a plastic flamingo.
We got the weirdest look from the cashier.
24/25. A few years ago my friend fell down concrete stairs coming out of a bar and broke her foot, got a black eye and a big gash on her cheek, I took her to the hospital, and not thinking about it at all I responded to them asking how it happened with "she fell down some stairs" the look I got for the rest of the hospital stay were absolutely horrible.
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25/25. When I was in secondary school, at the age of around 11, I used to engage in some pretty depraved tomfoolery in the playground. The bottom of the school's garden had a public footpath running along it, one which was rather popular with dog walkers - consequently, one could often find a lot of dog poo peppered throughout the path and surrounding grass.
One of the games we played was aptly named Poo On A Stick, of which the rules were as follows: somebody would find a branch, spear it onto a piece of dog poo and then proceed to chase the rest of the players until successfully launching it at them.
The person hit would then be tasked with holding the stick and the game would resume until the bell rang or until we tired. There was no real way of winning, for the game just entailed chasing one another with a piece of poo on a stick, but that's the result of a game designed by a group of 11-year-olds.
Anyway, on one summer's day, as we were playing this game - a chap by the name of Henry decided to join us uninvited. He was from the year above and had the reputation of a rapscallion. He wielded the stick high and proud before chasing my friend Gumble into a corner and smearing the poo all along his shirt and trousers. Henry clearly had no respect for the rules of the game or the passion of the sport, for he had wantonly broken a number of sub-laws (namely, no smearing), and saw the game more as an opportunity to attack people with poo - rather than an exercise in peer building and frittering away the hour of lunch, which is what it was.
Horrified by what had happened to Gumble and eager to avoid the same fate, I darted inside the school and sat in my classroom. I watched the game continue behind the safety of a window, Henry still gleefully chasing my terrified peers with a poo-impaled stick. I then accompanied Gumble to the bathroom to help him clean-up, where he promptly broke down in tears after realizing the extent to which his clothes were covered in poo. I made him take off his shirt and trousers, leaving him standing in just his y-fronts. As I began to clean his clothes, our headmaster - Mr. Barker - walked in to find what he thought to be me rubbing poo into Gumble's clothes as he stood wailing, near-naked.
Gumble, of course, explained what had really happened. Henry was made to apologize and given a month's worth of lunchtime detentions. But Poo On A Stick was sadly banned, too.
Laws should always protect the people, ALL the people!
Laws are amiable. We know this. They often change with the times, with enough revolution that is. Laws are there to protect and serve, however they can be too complex and just downright odd and often absurd.