Mortified People Share Times Where They Were Accidentally Creepy.

Nobody ever wants to be the creepy guy or girl in a social situation, but sometimes things beyond our control make us that way.

Here are fifteen people sharing times they were accidentally creepy.

Many thanks to the Reddit user who posed this question and to those who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!

1/15. I walked into the room and my aunt was holding my baby cousin. I gave him a kiss on the forehead- then when I looked I realised she was breast-feeding the baby cousin. Was rather --- awkward.


2/15. I was at the city swimming pool with my two daughters (6 and 8 years old) and it was time to go. I was waiting for my youngest to come around the lazy river thing and it was way past time for her to show up (like two minutes) and I felt a bump and looked down and saw her. I grabbed her hand and said "lets go."

She had the same swimsuit my daughter has and her hair looked just like my kids. It was not my daughter. The girl reacted by pulling away and I turned around ready to unleash daddy hell and saw her face and I felt like the worst person ever. EVER.

The little girl was backing up with a scared look on her face. Only saving grace was her mother was with her. I was totally apologetic, like sorry, your daughter has the same suit, same hair. After I rounded up my daughters I went looking for the mom just to show her I wasn't some daughter grabbing psycho.

She didn't have as much of a problem with it as I did. Probably cause she was there. I still see that little girls eyes scared cause a stranger grabbed her hand and said "Lets go."


3/15. I was driving back from my club, we wrapped things up at around 10:30 pm. I get onto the main road and end up behind this oldish car that is doing 50 km/h on a 60 km/h road. I realise I'm tailgating and ease off, and didn't want to try undertaking because I was feeling lazy.

I approach my next turn and the car in front is doing the same. I end up following this car almost all the way home. I tend to use my blinkers a little later and as a result it looked like I was waiting for the car in front of me to decide which road to turn to before hitting my blinkers.

As we turn onto my final road they suddenly pull over.


It couldn't have been their house because they pulled over next to a school's football field. I realise they thought I was following them and had an "Oh no!" moment. I drive off and I see them in my rearview mirror pull out again behind me but quite a distance away.


4/15. My wife and her sister are near in age and actually look quite similar from the back, especially if they are sitting down (because, yes, I know what my wife's rear end looks like).

Well at Christmas last year, I went up behind my wife and wrapped my arms around her and kissed the back of her neck where it meets her shoulder.

Not my wife.


5/15. One time I was backpacking with a friend around New Zealand. We arrived at a new hostel in Wellington, where there were about 8 bunk beds, but when we got there it was just us two. We started joking around as people sometimes do, and my friend went under one of the beds to see if he could fit or something. He came out and I decided to do the same. Not sure why.

Well anyway, as soon as I went under the bed, three girls walked in. I should have got out right then and laughed it off, but I froze, not sure what to do. Then my friend left the room without saying a word. Dick. So there I am, under a bed, with three attractive young girls right next to me. I've been there far to long to come out, so I just press myself against the wall and silently beg for them to leave. After about 5 minutes they must have heard me breathing or something, because they stop talking and look under the bed.

I have never felt more creepy in my life, and the next few nights were very awkward. They were surprisingly good about it, but still.


6/15. As the subway was pulling up to my stop in Brooklyn late one night I noticed a girl standing by the door, she was cute and I had a flash of recognition so I smiled at her, she didn't smile back but that's okay, I'm not the most attractive guy in the world.

We both exit and head out the same stairwell, she looked over her shoulder and quickly turned back. That's when I figured out where I knew her from. When I first moved into the apartment that I was currently living, the building had a big 4th of July party, I met her there she lived a floor up or down I wasn't sure which, I only met her once and that was brief.

Anyway we get outside and it's cold, I mean dead of winter speed-walk home cold. She's walking at a brisk pace and so am I. We're headed the exact same direction and there's nobody else on the street, she looks over her shoulder again, sees me there, and takes off running.


Now the apartment building that we both live at is only a block away from the subway entrance, so she runs for like half a block, fumbles for her keys and drops them. She bends down to get the keys and when she looks up, I'm already at the door, holding the door open for her that I opened with my own keys. A look of shock flashed across her face, then relief, then embarrassment. She manages a "thanks" and walks inside, one awkward elevator ride later and I enter my apartment and cry myself to sleep.


7/15. Late one rainy night my car wouldn't start, leaving me stranded in a downtown parking lot with a dead battery.

As I'm standing there with my umbrella a lady comes around the corner and approaches a car not too far from mine. She must not have seen me, because she froze when I said "Excuse me!"

I had jumper cables, so I brilliantly started with "I'm so sorry to do this to you..." I had planned to continue with "...but could I get a jump?". Instead I realized she was standing out in the rain getting soaked while I had an umbrella.

Being the polite guy that I am, I started jogging over to her with the umbrella. She screamed and started to back away as fast as she could, only to fall backwards with what she could only assume was a murdering umbrella killer charging her.

Of course I immediately stop and raise my hands in the air while backing away slowly, but it's too late. She is cowering in the gutter crying.

I felt like complete jerk. She got the out of there as quickly as she could while I stammered apologies as fast as I could.


8/15. I was walking around my neighborhood smoking a cigarette. I was young and hiding my smoking from my parents so I stuck to the alleys.

It looked like rain, so I put my hood up.

As I'm walking I hear these kids arguing "You jump first! No, you jump first!" The alley is lined with bushes, and beyond the bushes are yards. In one of the yards, 2 kids are sitting atop jungle gym convincing eachother to jump.

I think to myself "Those idiots are going to jump. This is gonna be great!" So I stop to watch the action unfold.

They argue for a bit more, then they both at once look over at me. They freak out and start screaming "Stranger! Stranger watching us! Mommy, stranger! In the trees!"


I panic. The realization sets in that I'm standing behind the bushes, in stormy weather, with a dark hood on, smoking a cigarette and watching children play.

I ran.


9/15. I was walking home from the campus library late one night and saw a couple kissing in a 2nd or 3rd story window of a dorm building. One of my friends lived in the dorm in question and I was positive that's where his room was. Wanting to give him a scare, I started throwing mulch at the window. After a few minutes the couple finally heard the noise and looked down to see me giving a thumbs up. It was not my friend.


10/15. I have a good friend where we always gave each other out of the ordinary compliments such as nice butt and she would say nice package. We do this to weird out some people, mostly this is done when we are drunk downtown. A harmonious friendship indeed.

Well.. I saw her at Walmart and thought I'd say nice butt and give her a hug from behind... it wasn't her. The girl who turned around was in total shock and I was beyond embarrassed. I didn't bother trying to explain and I just ran off. I still cringe about that moment.


11/15. Back in Los Angeles I had these two stoner friends, Jack and Lucy. One night I was hanging out at their place and they offered me a hit of this superWeed they told me had totally spun them out when they tried it. Bear in mind these guys are heavy smokers and I had not smoked for a month or two at this point.

I throw down, take a big hit off the bong. Things are fine for almost no time at all. The elevator shoots past 'high' through 3 floors of 'omygodwhatisgoingon' before exploding out of the top of my head and triggering the mother of all panic attacks. I've gone to such a negative place that I am trying to stop my own heart to punish myself for my recent breakup, and I believe I can do it.

I go for a walk to try and calm down and get completely lost.


It's night time and everything looks the same to me. I'm marching around like a malfunctioning robot trying to keep my heart beating while trying to find a condo I've only ever seen from the outside once before in my life. Finally I see Lucy in their carport, she must have been looking for me! I start lurching toward her in speed-mode, she turns and sees me, I realize it's a complete stranger and this is the wrong street right as she freaks out and RUNS inside and slams the door.

Now I am convinced the LAPD is on the way in choppers with a swat team on top of trying to stop myself from stopping my own heart. It's turned into a goddamn nightmare. I turn a corner and there is Jack, walking calmly down the road smiling with some fresh squeezed lemonade. "The citrus will help bring you back, let's go inside man."


12/15. I accidentally sent a text to a landline right around the time when they started reading texts out loud in that creepy computer voice. The text I sent was to friend I was meeting up with, but her parents got a call from a robot saying "Come outside, I'm waiting for you."


13/15. I was alone in a public bathroom and for some crazy reason I decided to start reciting that creepy Gene Wilder monologue/song thing from the tunnel scene in Willy Wonka.

As I got to the "Are the fires of Hell a' glowing!" part I just so happened to notice someones legs under the door to a stall. No way could I stop now, I finished the whole song, and waited a moment in complete silence to see if the scared person made a sound.

After a brief, awkward silence I turned off the lights in the and left him in darkness.


14/15. When I was a young teenager, my cousin and I were running around the neighborhood having our usual fun (this was pre consoles, outside was the only menu option for fun) so its getting late about 6pm and we see who we thought was our uncle walking down the street with a pizza box in his arm. (There was a neighborhood pizza place on the corner.)

My uncle wore this green army jacket and beret all the time (Think 70's nam' vet) and this guy had the same outfit, height, hair color. We thought it'd be hilarious to run up behind him and grab the pizza box and run home with it.

So we full charge run screaming like wildmen and grab the box mid leap past him. The guy screams and takes off running. It wasn't our uncle, it was some much older dude who thought he was getting mugged. When we realized what happened we started running after him to give him his pizza back but from his point of view it must have seemed like we were looking to rob him more.

We felt horrible as we ate that pizza back at home.


15/15. I had taken two weeks off of work for vacation and I had spent most of the time with my fiancee.

When I got back to work, I was derping about as usual, and I went into the back room to get supplies and say something to one of my supervisors. She was standing at the desk, doing something, and so I walked behind her, and put my hands on either side of her hips and said, "Hey, blah blah bladdah blah?"


About 3 seconds later, I realized that my brain had just trolled me, and quickly jerked my hands back and started stammering that I hadn't tried to do that, I just... forgot she wasn't my fiancee. She hadn't said anything the entire time my hands had been on her, but she started laughing pretty hard when she saw me turning red and trying to explain myself, so I guess all was forgiven.

The other time it was my second year in college. First day of classes, I saw in my first class a girl I had had in one class the year before. I greeted her casually, and I wound up sitting behind her in that class.

After class she leaves and goes somewhere. I wander off looking for somewhere to smoke. I end up going behind a stairwell and I find her there, smoking, so I smoke there with her, and make awkward conversation with her. Then she starts to walk off and I finish my smoke so I start walking too, and I end up following her all the way across campus. We had the same class together again. I sat behind her again, because we got there at the same time and we sort of knew each other.

Again, she leaves class a little before me, and I decide to go get something to eat, so I go to the crappy little cafeteria area, to get some food, and as I walk in, I notice she is the last person in line. I stand behind her in line, and we don't even bother trying top make small talk at this point.

I'm behind her in line, standing awkwardly, trying not to seem like I feel how awkward it is, and we end up ordering the same food, a croissant sandwich or something. Fine, whatever, I think, this is getting weird, but I'm just going to make a point to avoid her now.

We both get our food, and the cafeteria is packed, after she sits down the only place else to sit is beside her, and by this point I'm not thrilled with that idea, so I go and take my food outside and sit on a bench facing the cafeteria. And I space out and I eat my stupid little sandwich. And about the time I finish my sandwich, I realize that behind the polarized, reflective windows I've been kind of spacing out towards was the girl. She was sitting, facing out, directly behind the windows. I realized this because, though I had mostly been kind of looking into the reflections of the windows, my depth perception shifted enough to see the forms behind the glass and sure enough, there she was.

So, I think. That didn't help.

I get up as soon as I realize, and I leave early to my next class. I had about 20 minutes, but I could spend them there, and have a smoke. So I go, and I find a nice pillar to lean against, and I do.

A few minutes go by and as I'm leaning against the inside face of the pillar, I notice the same girl walk past me into the classroom. She noticed me waiting out there, too. I saw her glance at me, almost imperceptibly.

I almost don't even go into the class, but I ultimately do, and sure enough, the only seat left is right next to her.

I stand at the back of class for the entire hour and however many more minutes, and when class finally gets out, she goes to leave, sees me, and nearly starts running out the class.

Later in the week I noticed she had dropped all of those classes, and I never saw her again after that.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.