18 Stories Of The Most Memorable 'I Didn't Expect To Have Sex Today!' Moments.
Sometimes the sexual tension rises too high and can snap in the most random of places and times.
Below are stories of people who had the most unexpected sex of their life. Check it out!
1. Her best friend had just died and we went to the showing. Sitting in her car afterwards, I was trying to console her while she was crying. I reached across and hugged her then realized she hadn't hugged me back but had actually slipped her hand into my pants while still crying. Weirdest boner I've ever had.
2. I had a girl over and we started talking about making blanket forts as kids, so naturally, I grabbed a bunch of blankets and pillows and we made one! I went and got some flashlights and turned off the lights, then next thing I know we start making out, clothes start coming off, I asked, "Is this actually happening?" and she replied, "Shut up and just do me."
3. Working the night shift in a hospital. The delivery room services was quiet and calm, so I decide to stroll around the hospital. Found a female intern, which I hang out with and have a smoke during boring night shifts.
As we're smoking outside the hospital, we started making out. She mention that the classrooms on the top floor are, sometimes, open and are private. We go to the top floor. One empty classroom is open. We bang on the floor. Wasn't expecting to bang that night.
The floor was cold and hard, my knees hurts after being done, we didn't get enough sleep cause we were doing it.
4. I was really good friends with this guy in high school, I guess I was 16. Never really saw him as an option romantically.
We are in my bedroom hanging out. Maybe there was a beer or two? Can't recall too much of the day as a whole. I have my favorite tunes playing (Tori Amos - it was high school) and we started talking about two mutual friends that are 'friends with benefits. Now, I know this is a VERY common thing now a days but this is 15 years ago and let me tell you to us this was very unusual.
So I said: (Continued)
So I said "Do you think you could ever do that?"
There was something about how he looked at me and grew so shy that all of a sudden I knew he liked me.
He says "Well it really depends on the person I would be with"
So I said " I mean with ME"
We had sex like ten minutes later.
So my mom walks in while we are boinking and runs out.
Later she says to me
MOM: "I am sorry I walked in, I just never expected you two to be having sex"
To which I said: "Yeah me neither!"
5. A girl I knew but wasn't real close friends with one day texted me asking if I wanted to go walk her dog with her.
I got there, was invited in, got a doobie pushed in my hands with a beer. Turns out she didn't have a dog, we watched a movie, about halfway through she starts giving me a blowjob.
Best walk ever.
6. Asked girl in class if she wanted to study. I went down on her for an hour or so. She went down on me for 30 seconds. Got B on exam.
7. I was working as a server at a restaurant and we had a beautiful new hostess start working there recently. We both happened to be closing one night when I told her that she looks how I would describe the perfect woman. One of the hostess closing duties is doing the mirrors in the bathroom. I walked into the mens room as she was cleaning them. I turn to walk back out and she tell me not to. It was a blur before both our pants were down and I was inside her.
I came to work expecting tips but I didn't expect to be giving anyone mine.
8. If a BJ counts, it was during work years ago. I was stressed out, my assistant suggested I go get a massage and recommends a place.
Legit place, legit massage. I think the girl was hitting on me because she kept saying how nice my ass was, how pleasant of a surprise I was versus the usual.
Right before I turned over, she was rubbing my thigh and accidentally tickled my balls.
Anyway, after I turned over I apologized for the hard on. She asked if she could... (Continued)
Anyway, after I turned over I apologized for the hard on. She asked if she could play with it and kept telling me she shouldn't be doing this, she could get in a lot of trouble.
I never went back, but to this day was one of the best orgasms I've ever had.
If we're talking actual sex: when I was young I lived in an apartment with a gf.
I was trying to put on 30 pounds of muscle and was taking pills and drinking shakes and energy drinks.
I was in such a rage that day and was getting so damn mad about everything. I almost got in a road-rage fist fight with a dude who cut me off.
When I got home I was furious and took a shower to cool off. GF was turned on seeing me so mad so got out of the shower and rage-sexed her from behind while she had her hands on the wall we shared with the neighbors.
I came so hard I punched a hole in the wall and screamed.
This was probably the best sex in my life.
I also stopped the pills and powder that night.
9. I gave a presentation in one of my classes and after the day just went back to my place. My GF had never seen me in a suit before, so when she came in she just said "you're going to do me, damn it!" I never realized the power of a good suit until then.
10. Probably the time I went to a beach party at my friend's place, as the only single guy. Her friend's wife was excessively hot to me, and was in a bikini top, which was difficult for me because I don't wanna be ogling some married woman. I'm looking for a place to sit and she offers me a spot on the towel next to her, I act like I don't notice because I don't wanna end up making moves, but my completely oblivious friend is like "Dude she's making a spot for you right there."
So I sit down and we start talking, she is very very obviously interested in me and within ten minutes I excuse myself to go back to the cars parked a ways away to "check my phone", she says she has to use the bathroom, few minutes later I'm... (Continued)
I'm nailing her doggystyle on the hood of her husband's cousin's car, about 500 yards from the party.
I thought I was the worst person in the world for a few minutes after, until I figured out that she and her husband were into that and he completely knew what we were doing.
11. I was watching my sisters roughly new twins with her husbands co-worker/friend. We had just put them down and we're sitting in the hallway since the baby monitor was broken and I started talking about the kids and how much I adored them. He said it was hot how motherly I was by nature and ended up doing it in the hallway.
We're married now.
12. I was travelling at the time. I'd had a one-night-stand with someone I met via Couchsurfing and it hadn't been very good, the whole thing was an ordeal, so the next day I was feeling a bit low and had a bit of a 'guys are jerks' attitude about me and was planning on avoiding intimacy for a while. I was hitchhiking out of the town the couchsurfer lived in when a drop-dead gorgeous guy picks me up. In about 10 mins flat I'd forgotten about the bad events from the prev night and I was having lunch with this guy. He ended up camping with me that night in the mountains just outside of Denver and we did the do. He was my significant other for 2 years after that.
I don't think in 2 years I ever told him that I'd gotten laid the night previous. It was a really romantic, awesome day and I never wanted to damper it with info like that.
13. I was an adult entertainer for a couple of years. Having sex with the patrons was obviously illegal but as you can imagine it happened. The one time it surprised me is I was first in for an early spot. It was 4:30 and a pretty girl walked in, and sat in a dark corner near one of the smaller satellite bars. I just had gotten dressed hadn't even been on stage yet and the DJ had probably played one or two songs since we opened. I was sober (rare when dancing and hadn't taken any G which was my go to drug of choice.) She ushered me over and asked for a table dance. Fine. I begin moving and she immediately spreads her legs on the bar stool and she was shaved and pierced. I go rock hard, but keep dancing. She then tells me she is also a dancer and has a 6:00 shift at the Pink Pony. "Was on my way to work and got horny..." So before you could say hump and grind I was... (Continued)
So before you could say hump and grind I was in her... We quickly finished up, thankfully no waitresses were on the floor, doormen were elsewhere getting ready for the night and my manager was probably doing lines in the office. We cleaned up, she tipped me well and she was gone. All in the space of 10 minutes. It was like getting laid in the office before your first coffee.
14. I didn't expect to be having sex when I turned on the N64.
Can you reach the remote to mute it? I can't do it, I'm pinned down with a penis in me. No? You can't reach it either? Fine, we'll just have sex to the soothing voice of the Pokmon Stadium announcer asking "What's the matter, trainer?" over and over again because I'm not giving any orders in game.
15. Went on a first date with this girl in college. She lived in the nice housing complex on campus and it was the Friday before spring break. All her roommates had gone home already for the vacation. We were sitting on the couch having a semi-deep conversation after we got back. She excused herself to go change into her PJ's. She invited me into her room and joked when she saw me take her desk chair while she was in bed: "it's fine you can sit on my bed, it's not like we're gonna have sex".
Literally like 3 minutes later, we started having sex.
That was the only time I've ever had a FWB/fling situation, lasted about a month, but god dammit it was the highlight of my life.
16. I was visiting my friend who had recently moved to a Washington DC and was having a house warming party. We all got super drunk and went out to the bars. I somehow ended up at a bar by myself and was getting kicked out at 3am since it was closing. Went on my way then realized I had no idea where I was or my friends address and he didn't answer his phone so I turned around and went back towards the bar. Walked up to a couple of girls walking out (no idea what I said) next thing I know I'm in a taxi to one of them's apartment. I am by no means a player so this was a gift from my little guardian angel to keep me from sleeping on the streets.
17. I was at my brother's wedding in Finland, being a drunk happy jerk. One of the few parties I have ever been where I was 100% not looking to get laid. I was just happy to be with my family I hadn't seen in almost a year, getting drunk at the top of a cool ski resort and eating a bunch of dope food.
Get sort of really drunk off the champagne, and we all party till like 2am. We all decide to wander off to the cabins to go to sleep. We get there, and half of us want to keep the party going, so me and the other half are ready to pass out. I go downstairs, pick a bed and lay down.
Then I think "Well, I should shower and change for bed, these suspenders and sunglasses won't be comfortable". So I go shower.
Then I think "Well, I should go say goodnight to everyone, some people are leaving early in the morning to catch flights back to America."
Then I go smoke a cig with this cute Finish girl who was taking photos of the wedding. We share a beer and I tell her I'm going to bed, and she tells me that I am far too young for that, so we keep drinking. By 3am she also is feeling tired, and wanted to know where the beds were.
Being the perfect gentleman I am, I escorted the lady to the bedroom I had put my stuff. This room had three beds, and a lock on the door. I sit down on the bed I picked out, and she locks the door and looks at me.
Blame it on the booze, or my ineptitude with women, but this was the first moment when I thought "wait.. does she...?"
She did. Like 5 times. The flight back to america was sort of uncomfortable because of how sore my balls were.
18. It was a random Saturday in the summertime, around 1-2 am, and I was home alone just enjoying a night in when from out of nowhere someone's ringing my doorbell.
I freak out before realizing that it's an old mess-around buddy who I hadn't seen in a few months, completely trashed off his ass. He said he was driving through my neighborhood and really needed to pee, and my house was the closest place he could think of.
I took his keys, let him do the needful, and afterwards suggested that he hang out with me in my bedroom watching tv until he sobered up (not a ploy, my bedroom was the only room in my house with decent AC at the time)
We watched Netflix, we talked, and eventually we passed out in bed together. I woke up a few hours later to him going down on me, which escalated pretty quickly into sex. We went back to sleep and did it again in the morning.
Afterwards, we showered together, had breakfast, and that was the last time I ever saw him.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: