People In Open Marriages Explain What Their Experience Was Actually Like.

Even if you've always been in monogamous relationships, I'm sure you've wondered what it's like to be in an "open" one, where there are people involved from outside the relationship. Here are some stories from people who have tried it. Some successful and some not so much.

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Many thanks to all the Redditors who responded. Check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!


1. "I was glad he was having fun and was at least somewhat being satisfied when I couldn't help him."

After a lot of arguing between my husband and I about the lack of sex in our relationship (I have a very low libido because of medications I have to be on), we finally came to an agreement that he could find a friend with benefits. We agreed to some ground rules beforehand, like he couldn't spend more time with her than with me, he had to be safe, I wanted to know before he he did anything (not immediately before, but I needed a heads' up that he was interested in someone), and if he started developing feelings, he was to immediately drop it.

He started looking, and everything was fine. He'd show me some steamy texts he'd been exchanging every now and then, and it was fine; I really wasn't jealous and I was glad he was having fun and was at least somewhat being satisfied when I couldn't help him.

Then he came home and told me he was leaving me for someone else. He hadn't even had sex with her yet, but had met her while looking for a FWB. And now he's gone.


I'm not at all saying that open marriages are bad. I think, if he had been happy with the rest of our marriage like I was (and maybe had been more mature, who knows), it could have worked. I really do believe 100% that I would have been okay with it; I am not at all a jealous person and I've had FWBs before. But I do believe that if we hadn't opened the door, so to speak, he wouldn't have left. Or at least not nearly as soon, and not for someone else. But who knows.

themildones

2. "Honestly, mostly the same as before we were open."

We set up a lot of ground rules initially, things like you can't hang out with that person all the time and sleep with them more than 3 times etc. Things that would mean that you were now in a relationship with someone else (we wanted open play, not poly relationships).

Now we just can't be bothered seeing other people and the sex was never as good as with each other. We might bring in a person to jointly play with once or twice a year, but we're kind of just "over" seeing other people lol. Honestly, mostly the same as before we were open.

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SpookyKins

3. Gotta do it for the right reasons.

My friends brother is in an open relationship. I've heard how he went and messed around, but the second his wife went to go do her thing there was a huge argument.

(continued...)


Basically he wanted to sleep with whoever he wanted, and thought she wouldn't try the same. He likes "younger" women. "Just turned 18" is his target demographic and his wife was 19 when they met. She is older now with a kid so he is showing less and less interest.

Guy is a total douchebag too, but that story is for another time.

Makovar

4. No surprises.

It's not as cut and dry as that for most couples that practice something besides strict, classic monogamy.

I have a low sex drive and my wife does not. I am a lesbian and my wife is not, she is bisexual. She remains attracted to men, despite being married to me.

With those two things in mind, we developed a method (with strict boundaries and rules) for her to explore her interest in others. It's usually a friends with benefits situation, but there has been a one night stand (which violated several rules and we had a heavy argument about it).

Our rules are as follows:


No surprises. I want to know when you realize you're attracted to someone and to know in advance when you plan to or want to pursue something.

No dating. I don't want my wife having another relationship, I just want her physical needs met where I cannot meet them.

No unprotected sex, unless we're very familiar with that person. And even then, birth control is required on her end.

That's pretty much it. I want to know when it's happening, who it's happening with, and that she's safe. There are some other nuances that aren't exactly "rules", but that I prefer. I would rather it not happen in my house so that I don't have to look at it or go somewhere else.

Keep in mind, this has only happened a few times and she's currently in between friends with benefits.

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SheaRVA

5. "I don't want a relationship right now, so it works out great for me."

I am not in the relationship, but I am in a friends with benefits with a guy AND sometimes the girl in an open relationship.

They have been together since high school, and we are all in our 30's now. They do have a kid together. I have been with one or the other, or both, but I have never even met the kid. If it's with both of them, they send the kid to a sitter and we go to their house. If it's one or the other, we either get a room or go to my place.

(continued...)


It seems to work very well with them as long as the 3rd party is cool with it.

He has tried numerous girls over the years, but they always want more, or don't like the fact that his significant other comes first. I don't want a relationship right now, so it works out great for me. (It's been going on for about 7 years now, off and on.)

earthspirit1147

6. "...that last one was the one I ended up having the most issue with."

Trying an open marriage was the last nail in the coffin for us.

I have since been in relationships that allow group sex (including current one) but won't ever do an open marriage or relationship again.

Current girlfriend has slept with 6 other guys in front of me and gave one guy a blowjob when I was in the other room and that last one was the one I ended up having the most issue with.

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KMApok

7. "I feel like I gained some valuable skills and insight during my time practicing non-monogamy."

I was in polyamorous relationships for about 10 years, and for 5 of those years I was married.

When I met my ex-husband we were both interested in exploring non-monogamy and didn't see the need for strict monogamy in long term relationships. It was fun, terrible, super sexy, really difficult, and at some moments felt like the best thing ever.


Things I learned that you will likely need to do in poly/non-mono relationships: -plan/schedule/google-calendar everything, your life gets super busy -tons of time will also be spent talking about EVERYTHING -negotiate and renegotiate rules, peoples boundaries change -be endlessly committed to self reflection and personal growth -be ready for exercising your patience for DRAMA, even those trying to avoid it have drama because if you and your partner are dating multiple people you end up with a huge connected network and drama surely happens somewhere in that network at certain points.

I feel like I gained some valuable skills and insight during my time practicing non-monogamy (like communication skills, managing my emotions, learning more about what's most important to me, learning how to be good at being alone, being super awesome at negotiating sexual boundaries, ect.) While in my heart I still feel like I'm more naturally inclined toward non-monogamy than monogamy, I've actually found that monogamy suits me better in this current world/reality.

Hail_Nebula

8. "It's just way harder than a typical relationship."

Guy who's dated a sizeable number of women in open relationships / marriages.

For every stable, open relationship with solid rules that are adhered to very well, there are 10 more train wrecks in action.

I've noticed some interesting patterns. Many times, the man initiates it, but the wife / girlfriend ends up getting way more action than he does, and it alters the dynamic of the relationship considerably.

(continued...)



The ones that seem more solid and lasting in the open state are the fully open ones. That is: Multiple full on relationships, not just messing around. (I suspect that this is because both people are truly committed to the lifestyle, and not just satisfying urges.)

I've also noticed a lot more stability in relationships that aren't fully open where the openness has the rule where it's only open on mutual attendance. Aka, swinging, and threesomes but not individual.

The reason the fail rate is so high, is not because it's inherently ill intentioned. It's just way harder than a typical relationship. You have to be super on point and self aware at all times with your communication.

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TeaBurntMyTongue

9. "The relationship ended that night."

I was.

My ex tried to convince me that being gay and monogamous isn't natural and monogamy was a system I had been brainwashed into. Every fiber of my being was telling me that I wanted to be monogamous but he was so convincing.

I resented him. He would bring home guys and have sex with them while I was studying in the other room. I specifically told him that I didn't like when he had relations in our bed while he wasn't away on business. He told me I was being too jealous and that I shouldn't be such a prude.


So I gave him a dose of his own medicine. My ex was a very superficial homosexual. There was a 6'8'' 32 year old built like a brick s---house who was very endowed. This man would make my boyfriend cry. So when the ex walked in on me getting piped like there was no tomorrow by a big daddy who was much better looking than him, he lost his mind.

The relationship ended that night.

Polyamory isn't for me and never will be. You can call me regressive or brainwashed but screw it. I enjoy a committed relationship with ONE man.

gagmewithyourtruth

10. "It takes a LOT of work for me to meet someone and I haven't gotten any better at it over the years."

Not married, but been together 7+ years and have a kid.

Is going pretty good although I'm a bit frustrated that I'm finding it difficult to date outside the relationship while she finds it easy. I feel like I was monogamous before meeting her simply for lack of opportunity and not because I had any real need to be monogamous.

(continued...)


It takes a LOT of work for me to meet someone and I haven't gotten any better at it over the years. So basically I'm monogamous in a poly relationship. So that's kind of awkward.

Dating is actually even MORE difficult because not a lot of women want to date a poly guy.

huuaaang

11. Classic.

Not exactly fully open, but I'm in a cuckold setup with my wife. We've been together for over 8 years, married for 4. I gave her permission, and encouragement even, to sleep with others. Between when we started dating and we got married she was with 2 other guys. Since marriage she's been with 5 more. Recently she found a Dom and she is his sub. I've never been able to play the role of a Dom well, so I'm happy she's able to explore that kink with someone else.

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It's going great. We've never been closer and are having a lot of fun together. We have more sex together when she is also sleeping with others.

If you seek an open marriage because you're having issues, you're going to have a bad time. If you open it up with trust, respect, clear communication, and honesty, you should be okay. It's not for everyone.

We have a few rules, such as to practice safe sex (birth control, STD tests), and to keep it on the down-low. No co-workers or friends.

hopefulcuck


12. "We don't act particularly possessive."

So my girl and I are engaged and we have a monogamous relationship but an open sex life (define that however you want). That means threesomes and swinging, but we'll also let the other go off with other people. We've only been together a few years but our relationship is super chill and both being bisexual, very satisfying.

We also treat each other with pure respect, so we don't act particularly possessive. It's not an evolved or better way of living either, it's just how our life is most comfortable. Some people prefer monogamy and that's fine, the one thing I hate is when people act like people having an open relationship (or those who are monogamous) are doing something wrong. So long as it's about both being comfortable, happy and satisfied then it's no biggie what other people do in their relationship, right?

EagleWoodie

BONUS:

Old guy who did all that free love stuff back in the 1960's and grew out of it. Here's what I learned over many years: People don't know what marriage is. They think the purpose of marriage is to be happy. They have no idea what they are committing to. Every time a young couple asks me how I stayed married for so long, my answer is like this:

(continued...)


When you get married, you are saying you want to share someone's life with them. When they stop wanting sex, you're going to be ok with that. When they get cancer, you're going to nurse them. When they can't walk, you're going to wipe their behind.

Marriage isn't about being happy. It's about finding happiness in the duty of commitment and building a business/life/family with another person.

For those of you with healthy relationships with parents, when your parents don't make you happy you don't dump them. You don't go get more parents. You don't even imagine that. Mom and Dad are your parents forever. Marriage is the same. Your wife/husband is your family forever.

That doesn't change until their there is abuse/danger/destruction and you've tried and failed to help them (not too much). Addiction, repeated adultry (I think someone confessing can be fixed, someone getting caught cannot, repeat offenses are too much), physical abuse, constant debasement and name calling are all grounds for cutting the cord.

The same as with parents.

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The problem most people have with marriages that fail is that they go in thinking, "This person will make me happy." The hell they will. That person is going to change. You married an athlete?? Watch them get overweight, melt, and decide to pursue music. You married a stay at homebody bookworm? Woops! Now they think they want to pursue acting! You think they are going to cook and be clean - uh oh - they have cancer and now you do EVERYTHING because you are a live in nurse.

Frankly, if that scares you at all, you should not get married. Because you aren't signing on for happiness. You are signing on for sharing human life, and a human life is a complete chaotic crazy mess.

I wrote this in response to the open marriage question for two reasons:

Because I read several answers and they were from people in regular monogamous relationships and were commenting about how adding more people caused it to explode. I sought to offer guidance to any young person considering marriage as a path to happiness and wanted to warn them that it is no such thing. Since those people were here, attracted by stories of three way sex and family tragedy no doubt, I figured they would see it and it might help some.

2nd reason is because I am old and I basically empower myself to do and say whatever I want all the time. I'm near death, so you can't scare me now.

grinningreaper


Source.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

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My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

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I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

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Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

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How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

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I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

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3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo