Musicians Share The Most Ridiculous Thing They’ve Seen While On Tour.

Being a musician definitely has some perks. You get to travel all over the place, touring with your bandmates and playing the music you love. But sometimes, what happens on tour can get a bit out of hand.

Here, musicians reveal the most ridiculous thing they've seen while on tour.

1. Seen a guy crowd surfing in an inflatable raft with speedos and snorkel at a show. Same show, a guy climb up a pillar in a tent at a festival jump off and break his leg. A band threw a pineapple into the crowd and it hit someone straight into the face. I have lots of these.


2. Mid set, standing on the edge of the stage, some old guy is tugging on my pant-leg. I try to ignore it, finally look down and he's holding up a shot at me. Now, I like to drink as much as the next guy, but I was hot, sweaty, tired, and taking a shot at that exact moment as not gonna be pretty. So I take the shot glass, set it down on the stage and keep rapping. Then after the set I did the shot, which seemed to make him happy. Went over to the bar and the guy asked me to do another shot with him, I obliged. I threw my shot back, and he proceeded to get about a drop of the alcohol on his tongue before vomiting all over the bar, me, and other patrons at the bar.


3. I was a guest roadie for this musician who's a well known partier.

He was a total introvert and I never saw any cocaine whatsoever. Shocking right? Also I'd like to mention he really is a great guy and he would always try to throw as much free stuff to the crowd as possible and do free meet and greets and stuff but his management shot him down 99% of the time.


4. We played the main stage at Reading Festival in 2008. Now, throwing bottles and stuff at the stage is pretty commonplace there, but this day was special. Metallica was headlining. Tenacious D was playing. Avenged Sevenfold was supposed to play, but cancelled at the last minute.

So picture an endless sea of drunken metal heads that have been going hard for the last two days, who are furious because Avenged cancelled, who just want to see Metallica, and then the Plain White T's step out on stage. Before they even hit a single note, the barrage of bottles, garbage, batteries (!), and even a superball (which was pretty cool because we got to keep it and bounce it around) were launched into the air.

It continued throughout the whole set at full tilt. Then we played Hey There Delilah. And something magical happened. The bottles stopped. The crowd started spreading apart. A large hole formed in the middle of the mob with ONE drunk dude standing in the middle. All of a sudden, the two sides of the crowd started charging at each other, like that scene in Braveheart. The drunk guy in the middle DROPS HIS PANTS, throws his arms up, and the biggest circle pit I've ever seen converges all around him.

And here we are watching from the stage, playing a cheesy little acoustic love song while all this intense moshing is happening. It was the single most incredible moment, and something we will never forget.

Never had more fun.


5. I was on tour for three weeks this summer filling in on drums for my friends band. We are from New Jersey and just played a show in Michigan and it started raining really heavily. The band we were on tour with decided to get a nice hotel room for the night and let two of us crash on their floor while the rest crashed in the van.

While waiting to go into the hotel three of us were standing outside smoke a cigarette and chatting. Two huge guys walk out of the hotel and come up to us, the one guy goes "Hey my name's Clifford.... like the big red dog." in his Tennessee accent. Turns out these guys were doing some floor work on the hotel and each had their own king suite (story continued on the next page...).

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We then say some of us are going to go in the van to sleep, Clifford felt bad for us. He said if we play him some songs on "that there geetar" he would give us his room for free. So we go up stairs play him a bunch of songs, he's feeding us whiskey, beer, and weed, then leaves and lets us have the whole room for the night. Shout out Clifford.


6. While covering Stevie Wonder's "Superstition", an elderly man in a wheel chair rolled up and started head-bobbing to the groove, only to immediately stand up and throw down some serious moves. We are certain we cured his paralysis with Stevie Wonder.


7. I'm mid set at this venue, guy jumps on stage and tries to start rapping with me. Literally is yelling at me to "listen to this flow" and I guess started rapping. I couldn't really hear him over the music. I'm tying my best to ignore him and continue the set but he keeps tapping me on the shoulder and trying to get me to listen. At one point I stop rapping and I'm like "dude I can do nothing for you, I haven't even made it yet." He kept trying to rap, so I finally pushed him off the stage back into the crowd, because I was getting pissed. After the show my wife informed me that I had pushed him literally right on top of her as she was standing in the front row.


8. We lost a bass player after a gig once, to the point we almost had to list him as missing. We finished our set and partied it up with friends at the venue. We soon notice our bass player hasn't been seen in an hour or two. He had apparently last been seen zig-zag-walking away from the venue. There was a nearby park on one side and a river on the other. We were stressing out and combined with someone weed paranoia, were frantically looking for him everywhere but expecting the worst. After about 3 hours searching we gave up and went home, hoping he would be okay. He apparently woke up in a bush in that park a few hours later, with the first people walking by him happening to be German tourists speaking fluent German. He thought he had somehow been transported into the future and was now in Germany.


9. I played a house show in Portland with my punk band. Everyone is huffing paint. Someone got their guitar stolen, and the collected door fee got stolen... Roll to the after party at another house: stolen kegs, free beer!


10. A little while back my crappy band sold enough tickets to open up for this much bigger band. We were all teenagers, and absolutely obsessed with these guys. I knew that if I could get to the backstage area to meet them I'd be a legend among my group.

Easily got backstage after telling the bouncer that I was in one of the local bands. I thought that he would say no, so I was totally unprepared to meet the band. I walk in, do an awkward wave and sit in an isolated chair (story continued on the next page...).

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The lead singer says "who's that sweaty guy?"


"Ya, you."

"Uhm. I'm Milkweed."


Weirdly my band mates still thought that I was cool as hell for getting backstage.

During their set their lead guitarist started climbing around the ceiling like a monkey. He fell down into the crowd, and disappeared.

Lead singer to crowd "give him back. Give us our guitarist."

The guy ended up having a broken ankle.


11. Played a show in Knoxville with my band. We're mid-set and this guy comes up and throws a $20 bill on the stage. Which is cool, but weird because we're not a cover band, we play original music, and this is the first time we've ever been tipped.

This guy is wearing old time-y clothes; long heavy trench coat, old weird looking hat, and a MONOCLE!!

Anyways, he walks over to a waitress, whispers something, and leaves. We find out later from the waitress that this guy told her that we should keep doing what we're doing, blah blah, but she also says the guy told her that he was "spending his family's inheritance tonight" and he showed her this bible that had a gun inside of it. She told him she didn't think he should have that in the bar so he left.

The bartender said the guy had been paying $20 a drink all night. So weird...


12. I've seen a guy play keyboard with his junk and people LOVED it.


13. Viewing violent crowds doing circle-pits, rowdy moshing and insane stage diving. I was always grateful for my safety behind my drum-kit but also felt somewhat responsible for the reason people were getting covered in blood or hurt. Stage divers were always a bit unpredictable, it was a relief when they dived back into the crowd and not drove a fist into our faces.


14. The coolest thing was when a group of woman brought their mother to the club in her wheel chair. One of the daughters said her mom was in hospice care and her last wish was to have a scotch and listen to some traditional jazz in the French Quarter. We played some standards and she gently waived her white napkin in the air, between songs I brought her a drink and she kissed me on the cheek, her daughters were all crying but she had the biggest smile.


15. Played a show at this dive bar one time in Virginia, a larger woman was standing in front of us the whole time. She was enjoying the music and having a good time, it was nice to see someone of a different crowd getting into our music. Nearing the end of the show she... (story continued on the next page...).

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Nearing the end of the show she turns towards the crowd, back facing us, pulls her pants down, and moons everyone.


16. I've seen a band whose entire setup was a drum kit, old Halloween decorations, and a tape loop of spooky sound effects.

It was awesome.


17. Played a gig where the host later brought out a bunch of green vodka. We all started into the bottles and then had the champagne brought out as a sort of chaser. We chased the champagne with bear, ostrich and other weird meats. Funky cheese, too. More green vodka was brought out, and about 2 minutes into the second round of bottles, women were topless, men were grinding them to fight songs that were now being sung, and it was the perfect scene of Valhalla.

I'm a violinist, and I was playing Gounod's Faust (opera) at an ambassadors home in DC, and was one of three invited to stay for the after party.


18. Played a venue that also doubled as a strip club on different nights. The exotic dancer's pole was right in the middle of the stage. Every now and then during our set, someone thought it would be a fun idea to spin around the pole and show us his stripper moves, causing a few hilarious moments and painful-looking falls.


19. Got mugged after a gig once. Should've known seeing a man jogging towards us in a tattered flannelette shirt on a Wednesday night wasn't going to end well. Guitar cases are harder to use to defend yourself as you'd think.


20. This'll tell you how lame me and my band were.

In Nottingham, a city known for girls being just generally mischievous. We're playing at the 20th Anniversary of Nottingham Rock City, we had quite a bit of a buzz about us at that time. We get there at about 2pm and we've done our soundcheck by 4.

Suddenly the dressing room door bursts open and these two Nottingham girls burst in and... (story continued on the next page...).

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Suddenly the dressing room door bursts open and these two Nottingham girls burst in and... (story continued on the next page...)., one of them is in latex, and they both start kissing in our room and shouting about JD. Pure rock n roll.

We are taken aback. We are listening to Tori Amos. I am in the corner reading Lord Of The Rings. Our bassist mentions that we're just about to have some sandwiches and would they like one. Guitarist embarks them on a conversation about how if floozing it up is their thing then more power to them but they've probably got more to offer than that. Drummer is, as you'd expect, looking on in horror as we blow his opportunity of a third threesome that tour. For a metal band we were mostly cool guys.

Anyway they sit down, smoke a joint with us, and we ended up having a really interesting conversation with them - apparently the floozening is kind of thing up in Nottingham and it's sort of expected by the bands coming through. One of the girls was a doctor in training, she's probably saving lives now. Very interesting. Also we never got laid.

Idiots. Absolute idiots.


21. Played a basement in DC, then immediately travelled to Philadelphia where our hosts showered us with booze and drugs until 6am. I woke up alone in our van at 1pm in the middle of summer completely drenched in sweat. That was probably the closest I came to death. That night our van was broken into, but they only stole cigarettes and condoms.


22. I've been working at this local venue for the past couple years now. We once had an act refuse to go on because the lead singer felt we hadn't been "kind" to him. Had to go over to this 30-something wannabe rocker, and tell him that we do indeed like him and would he PLEASE get up on stage to play his set.


23. I was always so sad to see people moshing to our music and doing it completely wrong.

No, flailing your arms around wildly is not moshing. No, punching someone in the stomach is also not moshing. Holy crap please put that knife away already.


24. Working backstage at a music festival. Our headliner was pretty big that year, and there were a lot of excited fans waiting to see them. Due to their relative fame, there was a bunch of security. Somehow though, two 13 year old girls managed to launch themselves over one of the barriers they were so excited to see the band. One was crying to hard and hyperventilating when we told them they'd have to leave, that she fainted.

Our headliner? A 70 some year old blues singer. So confused why these girls were so damn hyped about seeing a 70 year old, passed his prime, blues singer...


25. Show up to Kirkwood near Tahoe in Northern California. We drive through the little ski town and it's dead, seems like the place is empty. We set up in the one bar/restaurant at the lodge and get ready for what seems like it will be a rough, boring night (story continued on the next page...).

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At about 10pm shortly after we start the set, a group of about 20-30 people show up ready to PARTY. Everyone's wasted, there's a girl is dancing double time to everything we play, a dude is passing out while standing up and still trying to dance, people are hooking up, I've never seen so much happen in such a small crowd.

It ended up being one of the funnest nights of the tour.


26. I opened for Wheetus a couple of years ago on their 'come back' tour in the UK.

When I arrived at soundcheck I hadn't even listened to them since the early 90's and didn't have a clue what they looked like.

So I was chatting away to what I thought was some random guy , he then gets on stage and starts sound checking teenage dirt bag.

I go up to the sound guy and was like, "Why the heck is the other support act covering teenage dirtbag?!" Turns out, I was chatting away to the front guy from Wheetus , asking him where to put my guitar case blah blah like he was a technician... Kinda awkward.


27. Was playing a Jazz Gig, and the audience was clapping on 1&3...cringe


28. I'm neither a musician or a roadie, but I go to a fair amount of concerts, and I recently saw the most awkward "crowd surfing" I've ever seen.

It was at this concert in Portland. The band makes an announcement between songs, that their drummer and the guy who opened for them, are going to crowd surf, and the crowd must keep them surfing for the whole song. Now, I've seen musicians crowd surf before, but usually it's during the heat of a song, when the crowds really pumped and ready for it, I have never seen it announced beforehand... So they start playing some kinda slow song, and the guys awkwardly climb out on top of the crowd (which, mind you, is 90% girls). One of them immediately falls. The crowd, with help from some security guards, slowly manages to get him back in the air. The next minute and a half was spent awkwardly twisting and turning these two guys, while the crowd was trying to push them back on stage, and the band was physically not allowing them back.

Eventually the crowd just dropped them on the ground cause it was clearly not fun for any party involved, except maybe the guys still on stage after watching their friends fail at crowdsurfing. Overall, one of the worst shows I've seen this year.


29. I once got paid, and it even covered my expenses. So outrageous.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.