'My Parents Said 'Screw That, We Can Do Better.'' People Share The Best and Worst Parts Of Homeschooling.

Most people take the idea of going to school for granted, and never really consider homeschooling as an option. But many people do get their diplomas at home.

Here are some of the best and worst things about homeschooling, as reported by homeschoolers.

Many thanks to the Redditor who posed this question. You can check out ore answers from the source at the end of this article!


1/13. Remember that awkward part of your life when you experienced your first crush? And you kind of made an idiot out of yourself because you weren't sure how to act around them?

That's okay. You were a teenager. Everyone has awkward moments during their teens.

Okay, now imagine going through that same experience, but when you're twenty-one and supposedly old enough to know better.

Tsunoba

2/13. My mother isolated us and had an emotionally incestuous/codependent relationship with me. I knew really well how to act to the outside world of adults that we'd encounter at church, etc, but didn't have any friends my own age from 12 -22. My mother thought friends were unnecessary and ultimately a bad influence on children.

I went to college at 22, and my biggest learning curve was how in interact in a casual way, and I actually found that because I at first didn't know how to read social cues and come off as borderline autistic.

The biggest real challenge has been personally overcoming my abuse, which presents similar to others who were isolated and/or had controlling parents. I have a lot of anxiety and depression. College was great but I feel like I lost many years to my mother, which resulted in overcompensation, binge drinking, depression, etc. I'm finally getting on an even keel now in my late 20s.

BigOldQueer

3/13. A lot of people I know who went to public or private school had trouble after high school because they were used to having a totally structured environment where they had rules to follow and success was clearly defined. (Study hard, earn good grades, achieve success and recognition!)

Me, I had no grades and very little structure, so by the time I got to college, I was already used to having to sort of blaze my own trail. I didn't need to rely on anyone to motivate me or tell me what to do. Tests and grades were a bit of a struggle, especially at first, because there's definitely a method of studying for a test that I didn't learn as a homeschooler, but once you're out of school, that knowledge all becomes pointless.

And if I had a nickel for every person who asked me if I "had any friends," or "must have awful social skills," I could now buy a small country. My social skills are fine, but thanks for your concern.

ELW91784


4/13. Like anything, there's Pros and Cons.

Pros:

I learned to be able to socialize with any age group, not just those my age.

I was able to pursue a lot of hobbies that I believe made me well rounded: music, gardening, and acting especially helped me later. And there wasn't anybody to bully me about what I liked. Or, if there were, I could easily avoid them.

I was able to dually enroll in my local community college at 14, earning my associates degree very shortly after I got my diploma. This allowed me to transfer easily to a better 4 year school with less debt than I would've otherwise had.

Cons:

Your parents control your materials. If there were topics they didn't want covered (e.g. evolution), you didn't cover them.

I'm dubious about the legitimacy of my diploma. I don't know if my parents filled all the right paperwork. It's moot, since I have degrees, but it's a doubt I have.

I could never really participate in athletics. Not because I didn't want to, or because there were no opportunities for homeschoolers to do so, but because my mom didn't see it as important, so she withdrew me from them when it inconvenienced her schedule. Oddly enough, acting didn't seem to interfere.

I didn't really have much of a chance to learn how to socialize romantically. So I was behind the 8-ball there. I'm a bit better positioned now, but it took me a while to get my footing.

pHScale

5/13. I was socially isolated and extremely far behind on my education (didn't learn how to multiply and divide until 7th grade). This was all due to my mom being a control freak and general manipulator. (continued...)



Thankfully my parents divorced and my dad put me and my little brother in public school. I didn't know how to act around kids my age so I was super weird and didn't realize my actions would have repercussions. I was a real jerk because of this and once I realized that no one liked me because of this I became extremely shut in and anti-social.

I did my best to clean-slate my personality and tried to start from zero so that I could act like everyone else around me. It was extremely hard to learn this, but over the years I've gotten better. I caught up with my education and I've made friends along the way, but I'm still hit by a lot of social anxiety and general lack of confidence.

xBuzzMasterx

6/13. My freshmen roommate in college was homeschooled until High School. She said some of the hardest parts were the little things, like passing papers down the line in a class room, that she never had to deal with before.

howispellit


7/13. I wasn't homeschooled but my roommate my junior year of college was. Her parents didn't believe in sex education and had sheltered her greatly up until this point (she had just transferred from a community college where she lived at home).

She somehow made it to age 22 without having ANY idea of what sex was and I ended up having to give her the birds and the bees talk her second week in the dorms. Not something I ever imagined I'd have to do for a roommate and something that would never have happened had she gone to a traditional school.

one_hip_chick

8/13. I was and still am shocked by the amount of people who see you like you came from a different world. I don't hide that I was homeschooled because my mom did a great job, it made me love learning and try my hardest. But people learn you didn't go to public school, and a lot of them will flip a switch. I've had a teacher assume I had a social disability. A guy I had dated for months act almost offended by it, and tell me he assumed homeschoolers didn't know what sex was and were all super religious. Because he met one guy like that. (continued...)



7/13. I wasn't homeschooled but my roommate my junior year of college was. Her parents didn't believe in sex education and had sheltered her greatly up until this point (she had just transferred from a community college where she lived at home).

She somehow made it to age 22 without having ANY idea of what sex was and I ended up having to give her the birds and the bees talk her second week in the dorms. Not something I ever imagined I'd have to do for a roommate and something that would never have happened had she gone to a traditional school.

one_hip_chick

8/13. I was and still am shocked by the amount of people who see you like you came from a different world. I don't hide that I was homeschooled because my mom did a great job, it made me love learning and try my hardest. But people learn you didn't go to public school, and a lot of them will flip a switch. I've had a teacher assume I had a social disability. A guy I had dated for months act almost offended by it, and tell me he assumed homeschoolers didn't know what sex was and were all super religious. Because he met one guy like that. (continued...)



One college professor refused to believe my paper's point that was pro homeschooling. It was like having to argue for my right to be raised the way I was, rather then about what I did right or wrong on my paper. It felt very isolating. When I was young a very close friend even casually said "well I do twice as much work as you do because you're homeschooled"

She changed her mind pretty quick but I was very angry and hurt that she would assume that at the time. These were all people who just saw me as normal until I told them.

I can't speak for everyone else, and I am so sorry for anyone who's parents have used it to shelter and abuse them, but whatever tools these parents use to abuse and hide things from their children, is still just that, a tool they used because it gave them an advantage.

I learned how to be social around all kinds of groups, was encouraged to explore new things, and grew up to have a love for learning new subjects. I was also taught that different ways of learning work for different people, and homeschooling is just one of them. So my biggest real world surprise is that so many people can't accept it. And they see you as just like them until you bring it up, then suddenly their opinion of you changes so drastically.

I have also known the religious control thing to be true in some circumstances, but ironically my mom wanted to teach us about every religion and never pushed biblical stuff on us. So I was surprised to learn so many people expected you to know Christian religion and the people in the biblical stories all back to front. I just kind of find it weird.

To be fair though, I've never been good at picking up signals from guys because I grew up around them. my mom admits she was never able to tell the difference between when a guy is interested in you, or just wants to stay friends. A kid once gave me a singing bear and a locket with his face on it for Valentines day, and I still thought he was just being nice. You could argue that is from the homeschooling, but personally I think I'm just naturally clueless.

Mahoganytree

9/13. Most people are absolutely shocked to learn that I was home schooled because I don't fit the stereotype at all. My biggest challenge (aside from the one someone else mentioned of getting good grades and being hated) is that I have a pop culture knowledge deficit for the years between 1990-2000.

Most people my age (mid-20's) are able to bond over shared memories of Pokemon, Mariokart, Disney movies, weird snacks, etc. I have none of that because I was raised with no TV, video-games, or much exposure at all to 90's pop culture.

nazi-julie-andrews

10/13. 16, I'm a junior but I'm enrolled in a community college full time now, but I was homeschooled up until this fall. One big thing is that people swear a LOT. Like, a ton for some people! We are of course never allowed to do that at home, and I guess I thought only people on the internet did it? Haha and random people are a lot friendlier than I thought they'd be, in general.

Bionic_Fox

11/13. I was able to graduate high school at 16 because I was homeschooled. My biggest challenge was convincing the financial aid office at college that I had really graduated. It took 4 months.

They knew me when they saw me. All they needed was a diploma with a graduation date on it, which I printed myself. Every year I have to go back into the office and remind them of this fact.

Fat_Kitty_Eats


12/13. I found that since I was more flexible with my school schedule, I got a job and car WAY before any of my private school friends. It's been quite easy to balance my life. My social skills could use some work, but there's nothing a few parties won't fix.

TheScarletPotato

13/13. Myself and my siblings have all been homeschooled because my oldest sister's 1st grade teacher was a moron. My parents said "Screw that, we can do better." They both have advanced degrees.

I was part of a homeschool co-op, so had many friends through that. So socially, I don't think being homeschooled had much of an effect. My siblings are split between introverted and extroverted, so our social education was far from lacking.

Homeschooling was a largely self-driven method of learning, so when I got to college and then my first job, I had no problems setting my own schedule and managing my workload, as well as pursuing what I wanted with abandon.

I have practically nothing but good things to say about homeschooling, if, like ALL schooling, it is done properly and with the child's best interests at heart. It's definitely not for every child or parent, but I hope to homeschool some day myself.

logicalfallacy16


Source.

Patcharin Saenlakon / EyeEm / Getty Images

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