'My Salad Is Alive!' People Who Swore To Never Go Back To A Restaurant Share Their Horrifying Tales.

Do I still have to tip?

Thanks to all the awesome people at Quora and Reddit who took the time to share their stories.

1. Many years ago my brother and I had breakfast in a small coffee shop in Plantation Florida. Served along with our breakfast were two glasses of Fresh Squeezed orange juice. However, one sip made it abundantly clear that what we actually drank was Fresh Pesticide!

The unusual color should have tipped us off that something was wrong but we missed that first sign. However we clearly didn't miss the second sign! Taking our first drinks simultaneously, we also simutaneosly spit out the foul tasting drinks with a spray that covered both of us!

Now that we were both covered in the foul stuff, the smell of malathion (that's what it smelled like to us) permeated the room, bad enough that the folks sitting next to us provided their condolences and mid meal, immediately left the restaurant.

To add insult to injury, we called over the owners (a middle aged Asian husband and wife) and told them about the problem. To our disbelief, they smelled the OJ and pronounced it fit for consumption! Shocked by their reaction, we suggested THEY drink our drinks, which of course they refused to do.

With their refusal to even acknowledge the issue, we refused to pay for the drinks and the owners promptly called the police. Fortunately, the patrolman took one smell of our pesticide OJ , turned to the owners and said they should be grateful that he didn't run them in for poisoning us.

To this day, I always smell my OJ first before taking that first taste.

The good news about this story since that day, I've never been bothered by mosquitos!

J Stephen Sadler

2. I took my family out to a restaurant in our nearest big city (Birmingham, UK). Its not a high end place but carries the name of a well known celebrity chef.

Firstly, I ordered what is normally a rich chicken casserole (cacciatore) with crusty bread. What I got was a single chicken leg with almost no sauce and the crusty bread was no more given that it was placed beneath the chicken.

But thats not what happened.

Just after I had finished my main course a young gentleman was standing at the pass. He was responsible for the final dressing of the plate. This guy had hair something like this

and his chefs hat was perched precariously on top (I kid you not).

I watched in horror as he ran his fingers through that greasy mop, all the while handling food that was about to be served. I commented to my hubby that if Id seen this earlier I wouldnt have ordered.

But this isnt what happened.

What happened was that he took his right index finger and inserted it into his nostril, pulled out the content and wiped it on his apron.

I will never eat there again, and what I had eaten didnt stay down very long either.

Oddly enough, after I wrote a review on Tripadvisor, stating what Id seen, the manager, after reading that I was too horrified to ever set foot in there again offered me a complimentary meal. Really? On the plus side, she took his description and hopefully he no longer works there.

Vicky Watson

3. My wife and I had ordered fish and chips to go at a less than famous fast-food outlet in New England. The server seemed belligerent to me, so I chided her a bit about her service. I can't recall what I said; but I do recall what she did in response.

She took my food and put it in an open container and moved to the rear of the outlet; then, using her own "rear," she picked her butt and made sure that what was on her finger contaminated my food.

Instead of reporting her, I simply (Continued)

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dumped the food in the trash. I led my wife away, so that we could find a cleaner place to get take out. I was both stunned and amused. For some reason, it struck me so odd and so incredibly, amazingly horrible that it didn't registered I could have probable sued her and her employer.

But I was a lawyer, so I knew that such a lawsuit might get thrown out for frivolity; besides, what hard worker who is kept busy all day preparing and delivering fast food does not get "behind" in their work sometimes.

Rod Vessels

4. A while ago I went to one of my favorite spots or I should say ex favorite spot (super china buffet ) with two of my buddy's . Before this happened I was in love with the restaurant they had the best food, a buffet filled with delicious Chinese food unlike any other restaurant and they even had a Mongolian barbecue station and desserts as long as I can see.

To top it off it was very cheap about $12 bucks for all you can eat buffet. I guess it was too good to be true . So me and my buddy's are eating our delicious food enjoying it better than anything I've ever enjoyed (we were stoned) when my buddy David looks at us with a face of shock/disgust.

He points at his plate so we look and what do we see ? A real, live larva just chilling on his food we went from complete bliss and deliciousness to disguist so we called the waiter and showed him the bug and he just stares at it for a while and he had no idea what to say and other waiter start coming to us and they have the same reaction just a bunch of speechless Asians around our tables lol so they called the manager and we told her we weren't gunna pay for that. And she starts flipping out and calls the cops on us that we don't want to pay and we told her the whole situation and so did her workers but all they cared about was the payment. I slowly realized we were causing a scene The whole staff came outside and customers were just staring at us argue with the workers meanwhile she's on the phone with the cops and I had literally just got off probation so I was kind of paranoid and didn't want trouble so I just gave her twenty dollars and left . It was disgusting and I'm still disappointed about it because It was one of my favorite spots smh

Eric Gomez

5. Back when I was in college there was a local place called the Peking Restaurant that served delicious Szechuan food. Id heard bad things about the cleanliness of the kitchen, but always said Id never discovered anything wrong with one of my meals there and kept eating at the place.

Then one day when I had ordered take out, after eating a sizeable portion of my meal I gasped as I noticed HALF of a cockroach in the remainder. Never again, and Ive kept track of subsequent restaurants that family opened in my city after Peking closed to make sure I never eat their food again.

Matt Lemmons

6. My SO used to go security for an upscale area kinda like a strip mall. But with very high end restaurants and stores. There was one restaurant that I really wanted to try out. The smell of the food coming out of that place made my mouth water.

One day, he came home and told me we'd never eat at that restaurant. Ever. Turns out they'd opened the back door when it got too hot. On that day, he witnessed one cook giving another cook a haircut. In the kitchen.

Liz Smith

7. I was a small child, in a small town where the fanciest restaurant was a Ponderosa Steakhouse. One night, my parents decided that a fine meal was in order, so we made our way there.

If you've never been to a Ponderosa: imagine a middle-school cafeteria buffet dropped into a steakhouse that needed to be remodeled in the 70's. The tables were plastic, the chairs were folding metal contraptions, the indoor-outdoor carpet had a disquieting green shimmer to it, and the blinds stayed shut so that you couldn't quite see what you were eating.

My father was a quiet, unassuming man. I can count on one hand the times I saw him get angry. Dinner at the Ponderosa was one of those times, and it was the only time I ever heard him swear in public.

When we arrived, it was clear that everyone working there wished they were working somewhere else. The hostess was surly, and the waiter acted like he was doing us a favor by taking drink orders. But, hey, it's a buffet/steakhouse, we weren't there to make friends. We were there to eat until we regretted it.

We didn't even get to eat a bite before we regretted it. My dad and I went to the buffet, filled our plates (and one for mom), and returned to the table. I slid my fork into the mashed potatoes. I brought the fork to my mouth. I realized the pepper flakes were moving.

"What the HELL?!"


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I dropped my fork. My dad's idea of harsh language was "gosh-durn." I'd never heard him lay down an f-bomb before, much less one fueled by that much rage, and it legit scared me. I was a small child. I began to cry. My father's gaze was fixed on his green beans, which were also moving.

A waiter came over, with a manager in tow. They began very sternly reprimanding my father for using such language in a family restaurant, and informed him that his behavior would have to improve if we wanted to stay.

My father, who stood just shy of 6'9", silently got to his feet and glared down at the suddenly quiet Ponderosa employees.

"Sir," the manager started, much more respectfully this time.

"There are ants in this food," my father interrupted him. "About a thousand ants."

"Sir," the manager started again.

"We're going to leave. We're not going to pay. But first, you're going to apologize to my family for trying to feed them this [crap], and you're going to apologize to me for speaking to me like that in front of my wife and son."

By this point, everyone else in the restaurant (maybe four or five other families) had stopped eating and were either inspecting their food or watching this scene unfold. One guy got up and went to the buffet with a little pocket flashlight. He clicked it on, took a look at the food, clicked it back off, and began dry heaving.

The manager and waiter were frozen. Neither one was apologizing, and that was pissing my dad off worse.

"Come on," my father said gesturing to my mother and I. The three of us walked out of the restaurant, with all of the other patrons following behind. The manager snapped out of his trance long enough to flip out and start shouting at everyone that they couldn't leave without paying. Turns out they could.

The Ponderosa closed its doors forever later that week. It belongs to the ants now.


8. I was spat on by a drunk lady because McDonalds didn't have lasagne. I didn't even work there, I was just eating my McNuggets.


9. I got my food served to me, my Indian friend got told to pick hers up from the counter.


10. We were in a restaurant we've gone to sporadically over the years. It's usually reasonably good.

We're seated and our drink order is taken. I mention to the waitress that there's no silverware on the table, and she says "Oh, no problem, I'll be right back". She shows back up 10 minutes later to take our dinner order. We order, and I again mention the lack of silverware. "Oh, right, hang on".

We don't see her again for 30 minutes. Drinks are empty, no silverware, nothing. Can't even find her in the restaurant.

After 30 minutes, she shows up again with our meals, both pasta dishes. She sets them down, and I again mention that we have no silverware, and can't eat our dinner. "Oh, I'm so sorry, hang on".

She disappears again. There's something horrible about being very hungry and staring at your meal while being unable to eat it. Stomach's rumbling, you're salivating, you're so damn ready to dig in... but you can't.

After staring at our dinner for at least five minutes, I get up, go to the setup table and grab two full sets of silverware and napkins, and return to the table. We eat, waitress is MIA.

Twenty minutes after we've finished our meals, still no waitress. I get up and ask to see the manager. I tell her what happened and she accuses me of trying to steal the silverware. Blew my mind.

Suffice it to say, we've never gone back and have dissuaded lots of people from eating there.


11. My girlfriend and I used to regularly go to our local pub specifically because the service was so bad. They always (Continued)

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took several tries to bring us what we ordered and we enjoyed people watching and observing the chaos behind the counter when a "rush" of more than one order came in at a time.

Somehow my worst restaurant experiences there were some of my fondest dining memories.


12. I was eating with a friend. While we were talking I noticed that part of my salad was moving. A rather large beetle was none too impressed about being covered in crappy ranch dressing and was wiping himself off on my tomatoes. Still haven't had a restaurant salad again...


14. I walked into a small country pub with a couple of friends, and everyone in the pub stopped talking and stared at us for a bit. It was just like a cliche movie scene. When we went to the bar to order a beer, one of us tried to make conversation - he said "so we're from [town], on our way to...". The woman behind the bar interrupted and said "I don't care where you're from."

So strange. So unnecessary. I think my chicken Kiev came out of a box.


15. I was at a Dim Sum restaurant - the kind where they push carts of food around and stamp your bill. I asked this guy if I could have one of the dishes on his cart and he refused. I couldn't tell what he was saying to me because he only spoke Cantonese, but we went back and forth for several minutes.

I later realized he was a bus boy collecting the empty dishes from other tables.


16. I stopped for lunch in a little hole in the wall noodle shop. It's one of those places where they'll put two different things into a paper box container, like Panda Express in the US. I ordered mine and queued to pay.

There was a woman ahead of me who was buying noodles to share among her and her friend's children. She paid for the food, then noticed that there were no plates. She asked the woman at the till for some extra plates. The worker rolled her eyes and said

'We don't have any plates.'

'Oh,' said the customer. 'May we have some extra boxes to eat out of, then, so we can share?'

Restaurant Employee #1 rolls her eyes at Restaurant Employee #2, who reluctantly nods. 'Yes,' says RE#1, 'but they cost 50p each.'

'Oh, lovely,' answers Customer, holding out her money to pay for them. 'We'll take seven.'

Here's the good part: RE#1 answers, 'No.'

Customer and I exchange baffled looks. 'But you just said they cost 50p, and I'm trying to pay for them,' she says amazingly calmly.

RE#1 again rolls her eyes at both RE#2 and the customer. 'We can't sell you seven. You can have this Styrofoam cup to eat out of, if you want.'

Customer is floored, understandably. 'Can't I just buy some boxes? My children need a surface to eat off of.'

'You can have a cup.'

At this point Customer's friend comes over, having seen the weirdness and the eye rolling. She takes a cup and (Continued)

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hands it to her four year old child, who looks confused.

'They won't let me buy boxes!' the customer incredulously tells her friend, who laughs at the absurdity of it. The restaurant employees all roll their eyes.

'Fine,' says the friend. 'Can we just buy TWO boxes, then?' The REs roll their eyes.

'I guess,' begrudgingly answers RE#2. Finally she sold them two small boxes for 1.

These two families, kids and all, then proceeded to dole out their noodles into their respective cups/boxes, with some children sharing because there wasn't enough.

I was blown away at the rudeness of the staff. I was pretty angry, so when it was my turn I asked to buy a box. I smiled while the REs rolled their eyes at me, but dutifully paid my 50p. After my purchase, I walked right over to the family and gave them my extra box.

Good noodles, but seriously messed up customer service. If you're running a restaurant, why in the hell would you not think about the possibility that one of your customers might need a plate?


17. I went to this one place that had great food that I really enjoyed. Then I watched an documentary on them, and I was shocked! In their vegetarian dishes (which I regularly ordered) they ground moldy bread and used it as cheap filler, along with rotten vegetables whose flavor they tried to cover with strong curries. Nope.

Amorette Dye

18. We decided to try out a large restaurant that had just been built in a very prime location next to major new NFL stadium. Seeing as how we were headed to a game, this was pretty ideal.

It had all the looks of a solid Mexican food bar/grill, including a giant iron sculpture of margarita glass outside. The only tip off we had for a bad experience was the Grand Opening sign. Our time there went something like this...

Our group of ~10 proceeded to wait for unnaturally long to be seated. Even after the hostess called our party, we waited. She apologized saying "sorry, its my first day"

Wait for a while for the waitress. Mixes up drink orders. She apologized saying "sorry, its my first day"

Order food. Food takes 1+ hours to come out. Food is wrong. She apologized again saying "sorry, its my first day"

Get new food. Food is blatantly cold. Complain for first time in my life at restaurant (I hate doing this). Cook comes out to apologize to group, "sorry, its my first day"

Get correct food. Nothing particularly memorable about it. Manager brings check to apologize about food/service/wait, "sorry, its my first day"

Note to self: Never go to a restaurant's grand opening. Its their first day.


19. Went to IHOP, ordered an omelette with toast and OJ.

The waiter brought the cook out to look at me because the cook wanted to know what woman could eat "all that food" alone. They stood there and stared at me for a minute while I chewed on my toast. I made up a story about being pregnant and being really hungry and they were like OHH OKAY.



20. The worst / best had to be a time when I went to one of my local Wendy's they had a sign at the drive through that said:

We are out of the following

  • Burgers
  • Chicken sandwiches
  • Chocolate Frosty
  • Frys
  • Sprite
  • Coke
  • Potatoes
  • Chili
  • Garden Salads
  • Large Cups
  • All condiments

I took a picture of the sign and posted it on my Facebook saying something like "Seriously Wendy's what DO you have" as a kind upset / joke. Then something creepy happened. I got an email from a Wendy's corporate person (without ever going to their website and complaining) they apologized, said they saw my post on Facebook and would like to make amends. They offered me 10 free meals and gave me the names of the store owners to the two other local Wendy chains in case I didn't want to return to the store in question.


21. Ordered a drink at a patio last wednesday.

We got a new waitress, we were her first table of the night. We ask her to bring us the special, and when it arrives we ask if it is any good. She replies, (Continued)

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"It would taste better with a tip".

We all shut up instantly, just dumbfounded by the audacity this waitress had. We didn't get served for another hour and a half, so we up and left. We gave her a tip, but still.


22. I'm from Canada, my city is near the border so people often drive across for shopping, dining, etc. Last summer a bunch of friends and I went to IHOP on our way home to get some breakfast. Our waiter was a decent enough guy, kind of over the top, but friendly. When the check came, he comes to our table and before he hands us our bills says, "Hey, so the table that just left was full of Canadians like you guys and they totally stiffed me on a tip. I hope you guys are planning on making up for that ..." Totally serious.


22. We were at Six Flags and the waitress forgot to get our drinks, then even though we were very patient and nice about it, after getting every detail of our order wrong she was too embarrassed to show up at our table again. We semi inherited a second waiter who wasn't much more attentive. We noticed another couple next to us was getting the same treatment - appetizers that came after their meal and cold.

At this point we were just waiting forever for the check so we could pay and get out (it was a theme park! we wanted to go ride things!) My boyfriend finally went to the front desk to pay and they said that we had to get our check from the waiter. In our search of the restaurant we were informed he had gone on break and the first waitress was nowhere to be seen. So we sat back down, now fuming and the couple started talking to us about the service. They convinced us to just leave - something I'd never done before or since. It had been almost three hours, a good part of our day wasted, so we did. We took two steps out of the building and the original waitress came running after us furious with the check. We paid and left "lol no" as the tip.


23. I was at a Chinese restaurant and there was a fly in my white rice. I called the waiter over and said "Excuse me, there's a fly in my rice". He proceeded to take off his glasses, hold the rice about three inches away from his face, and then scoop the fly out of the rice with the arm of his glasses for further examination. He then turned to me and said "That's not a fly. That's a bug." and set down my rice and walked away. I haven't been back since.


24. After sitting to eat, someone helping us came to the table and asked how old my child was. After noting the child is almost a year old. I'm asked when I'm having another. I say, "never." And I'm proceeded to be told "Haha, of course you'll have another, you're a woman. You can't help it." That day, I suppose I was supposed to learn that I'm a woman so I must have 2 kids? Since when does my vagina think for me?


25. The waitress took my wife's fish before she was done with it. She then asked her for a new piece, after which the waitress pulled it out of the trash bin and gave it to her. Lorelei (that's my wife) was furious, and told her, "Hey, that's gross..." To which the waitress replied, "Hey, I've waited on you guys before, and there's never been a problem."



1, 2, 3

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.