'My Sister Is Trying To Kill Me!' Parents Share The Worst Things They Caught Their Children Doing.

Don't worry, Dr. Freud. They aren't all about sex.


Well. Not ALL of them.

This piece is based on the answers to a Quora question. Link on the last page.

1/11. I came home from work one day to a horrendous smell. Following my nose to the kids' bathroom, I saw my daughter, then maybe 9, with a Barbie doll. Barbie was naked, and her hair had been chopped off. My daughter was holding Barbie by her little neck over the sink, and had a lighter at Barbie's foot.

"Talk!" my daughter screamed, as Barbie's foot melted into the sink. "I told you to talk!"

My first thought was that my daughter should not have had access to a lighter, so I asked her where she got it. "Oh, it was with daddy's cigarettes," she told me, sweet as could be.

"What are you doing with Barbie?" I asked her, trying to keep my voice calm. My little daughter's eyes hardened and she nearly snarled, "She won't give up enemy secrets, so I have to torture her!"

This was out of character for my daughter, and we were not a household that condoned torture, under any circumstances, so that really took me by surprise.

"OK, honey, can you maybe find a way to torture Barbie that won't release toxic fumes?"

My daughter thought about it for a moment. "Sure," she cheerfully told me.

"And honey, please give me the lighter." She handed it right over.

To this day, I don't know what secrets a plastic doll might have held, or what methods were next employed, although I did find a plastic arm on the floor some time later.

My daughter did not grow up to be a serial killer or to work for an intelligence agency, but rather, for non-profit arts organizations. She opposes torture and thinks that all people, including prisoners, should be treated with dignity. She is very kind to people and animals. I have never witnessed any cruelty, except for that one incident, which is still a bit alarming to remember.

-Eleanor Lang

2/11. I have a camera in my home office (lots of confidential and sensitive files), and my kid doesn't know about it. So that means I get to watch what he does in there when I'm not around. (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

He s actually been doing something rather clever. He scrapes the grades off of his report card with an exacto knife (you can scrape toner ink off of paper), then he prints the grades he wants on a piece of paper, then he lines up his report card over the grades and tapes his report card over the paper, and runs it through the printer again, so the grades print exactly where he wants.

I'd call him out on it but frankly I'm impressed. If he worked half as hard on his grades he'd be a genius.


3/11. Caught my three-year-old son trying to stick batteries up his butt, saying that he "needed more energy."



4/11. I walked into the kitchen one day to see my 4 year old son cleaning the counter with a piece of ham. He then went over to the sink, washed off the piece of ham and then tried to eat it.

I mean, at least he washed it first...


5/11. Sleepwalking kids are the scariest people ever.

When my son was 2, I found him one night just standing in the middle of the hallway staring at the empty wall. I asked "what are you doing baby?" He just pointed at the wall and started screaming. When the screaming stopped, he simply laid down in the middle of the floor and slept.

He also likes to stand in my room. I'll wake up and he'll just be standing in the middle of the room. He won't respond, move, make noise. Most of the time he's not even looking at me. It's so unnerving. A child who's awake will respond or look at you, but a sleepwalking child reminds me of the nurses from Silent Hill.


6/11. I was in the kitchen of our small 2 bedroom apartment when all grew quiet. That is unusual when you have a a 20 month old daughter who is a monkey-type climber, and a 4 month old baby boy. (continued...)

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So I went to their bedroom to investigate. To my horror, I saw the 20 month old girl inside my infant son's crib.

She was sitting on her own regular sized bed pillow from under which one little foot was frantically kicking. She had a very guilty look on her face. I pushed her aside, picked up the pillow, and there lay my tiny baby gasping for breath.

My first reaction was relief that he was alive. My second reaction was horror that the beautiful little toddler with the big innocent eyes was capable of murder.

I don't remember now these 53 years later how I disciplined her. A spank on her well padded bottom? Time out? Anyway, I never caught her doing anything like that again.


Later a friend told me that the older baby, not knowing what murder was, would not have had the goal of murdering the younger baby. Maybe she just didn't want to hear his babbling.

-Liz Marsh

7/11. Talk about irony. I originally answered this question with a story about how my daughter attempted to seriously injure (or as my middle child exclaimed, "My sister is trying to kill me!") her sister by throwing a rock at her, missing, and shattering our glass table, instead.

In that answer, I pointed out that my daughters, now aged 17 and 15, get along just great and that my eldest daughter has turned into quite the artist with a dark, twisted sensibility about her work.

I posted an example of her work. The answer received a lot of great comments. But here is where the devastating irony kicks in. An astute observer commented that the sketch my daughter made was actually the work of another artist. (continued...)

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Skeptical, I looked that artist up and browsed their work. Stylistically, the work of this other artist and the work of my daughter definitely had similarities, especially in how the eyes and teeth of these monsters that my daughter created were drawn.

But then, I ran across it... the very sketch of my daughter's that I had posted was on this other artist's website... line for line. And then another one of my daughter's sketches appeared on this other artist's site. Then another. And another. And another.

The thing that my child is doing that I wish I had never seen? My talented daughter is stealing ideas from another artist. This sort of thing can ruin her professional career before she even has a chance to start it, not to mention the financial and legal ramifications plagiarism can bring.

What is really heartbreaking, though, is that she truly has talent. This all boils down to absolute laziness.

Rather than developing her own ideas, she finds something she likes, emulates it, and claims it as her own. Simple laziness. Laziness that can have some extreme consequences.

I apologize to those who commented on her work, believing that the work was hers. I, too, was fooled, or I would have never posted it. So, that is the one thing my child has done that I wish I would have never seen. It's devastating.

-Dan Harvell

8/11. I came back home from a long, hard day at work. I just felt like going to the bathroom, taking a nice hot bath, and then napping, but I knew it was a far fetched dream for me, a mother of a 2-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl.

When I went in the house, the first thing I noticed was that it was dead silent. DEAD SILENT. Trust me, if you knew my kids, you'd know that it meant they were either up to no good, or that something terrible had happened. (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

So I rush to their room, and to my horror, I see my 2 year old boy ON TOP of my 5 year old girl FRENCH KISSING her. They didn't notice I was there at first, so my daughter then FLIPS her brother so she's on top, and the kissing continues.



That was my first reaction. I yelled and yelled, they cried, and then I grounded them. Then I realised this may not solve the problem, and they might try doing it again behind my back. So I decided to talk to them about it. They said they first saw it on TV, and felt like trying it, and that they didn't know it was wrong.

After that, I never let my kids watch TV on their own. To all the parents out there, please don't make the same mistake I did. TV can affect our children's behavior in so many ways. In my case, in ways I never expected.


9/11. I looked fondly at my two sons, the infant lying swaddled on our big bed in front of his brother, 3 years old. "Isn't he a beautiful baby?" I said to the 3-year-old. He smiled, leaned forward, and made a chopping motion with his hand over the baby's neck. "Hack, hack, hack!" he said.

-Colleen McCahill

10/11. Once, when my son was only 3 and my daughter was 1, I was watching a movie and hadnt noticed my son wandering off to his grandparents room.

He had been in there unattended for about 20 minutes (his grandparents had gone out for a few hours) which usually meant he had the tv on and was jumping on the bed or something. The worst he had ever done when left alone in there was drawing all over the walls with his grandmothers markers.

But no, this time when I went in to run him out of there it was a much more awkward situation. (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

My son had gotten into his grandfathers dresser and found some super glue. For reasons I still to this day havent figured out, he had stripped his clothes off (Im guessing it was just because it was hot that day) and while super gluing together random objects (his grandfathers glasses were glued to a plate, and there was a glob of glued items on his grandmothers side table) some of the glue had dripped into his lap.

When I walked in, he was freaking out, desperately trying to remove his penis and scrotum from his leg where they were stuck. Within a couple of minutes, his grandparents had arrived home, and with them my brother-in-law, and we had a full house of people to witness this brief lapse in parental oversight.

We got him unglued, but Im surprised the little guy didnt die of embarrassment.


-Eric Wilson

11/11. I walked in on my teenage daughter and her boyfriend partly naked and fooling around! In the living room (which was completely open to the upstairs and the kitchen), while our house was being packed by a team of movers!

The boyfriend actually saw me looking at them and must have seen the shock on my face. I just walked right past and went upstairs, where I had been heading. But I could only stay there so long.

When I finally got up the courage to go back downstairs, they were, much to my disgust, still engaged! I finally found some words to tell them to cut it out and find someplace private.

My issue was not that she was sexually active (I knew that). It was the exhibitionism of it and the boyfriends complete disregard for my embarrassment.

She didnt seem to realize how distasteful the experience was until I asked her how shed feel if she walked in on me and her father in the same situation. She almost threw up.





Social thumb credit: pathdoc / Shutterstock.com

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.