'Nothing Matters. I Had Sex.' Hilarious Stories Of One Night Stands Gone Wrong.

In the age of Tinder and Grindr etc., regrettable one-time hook-ups are more common than ever. On the bright side, that means funny stories about regrettable one-time hook-ups are also on the rise.

via GIPHY

This piece is based on AskReddit threads. Link on the last page.


1/18. I went home with a girl who I thought wanted to have sex. We were fooling around, getting pretty heavy. She was clearly into me, but when I went to make a move, she gently pushed me away and said, "Nobody can ever make me feel as good as I can, but it's better when someone watches."

She wanted me to sit there and watch her pleasure herself. Turns out I had an early meeting.

-Anonymous

2/18. I wake up to him yelling. What?! My dad wasn't supposed to come home so early! (He had told me he just lived with roommates.)

He tells me to jump in his closet even though I'm fully nude and my clothes are in the living room. I start to argue but he insists, so I get in there. For the next hour, I hear them making smalltalk.

I realize I really have to pee, but they just drag on and I'm dancing around. And then the guy I slept with left for work!!!

Now I can hear the dad making breakfast downstairs and just settling in. I panic, how am I gonna get my clothes?!

Forget my clothes, I'll use his! So I took some stuff from the closet and ran for my life full speed through the house with sex hair and a long men's shirt down to my knees.

As I booked it to my car, I heard the dad yell: "you can do better!" You know what? He was right.

-Anonymous

3/18. I was studying abroad for a semester in Brazil, and the university had one night a week where their students would take the exchange students out on the town.

Usually, it would be a club or bar, or sometimes just drinking on the beach. This one night we were at a club, and for some reason I indulged myself a lot more than usual. It was my first blackout.

I woke up the next morning in a strange room, strange bed, with a cute Brazilian girl beside me. She wakes up and I quickly realize she doesn't speak any English. (continued...)


Keep reading on the next page!

This was only a couple weeks into my stay, so my Portuguese was practically nonexistent to be honest. My wallet was missing, my shirt was ripped. She wanted to go another round that morning (which I did so I could at least remember it this time).

But then I realized I was in an area of the city that isn't exactly the safest. Had to break out her computer and use Google translate to tell her to call me a cab, and then have her loan me money to get back to my dorm. Oh, and replacing credit and debit cards overseas is a breeze, let me tell you.

Moral of the story - nothing matters, I had sex.

-Havins

4/18. Got insanely drunk at a hipster bar and met this cute pixie chick. We went back to place, got it on, and passed out on her bed.

Or what I thought was her bed.

When I awoke the next morning, it became abundantly clear that she had absolutely no furniture in her room.

Every "surface" (this includes bed and makeshift desk), was comprised solely of dirty clothes. Literal mountains of them.

It didn't smell TOO bad, considering, but still wasn't pleasant. I sneaked out while she was burrowing deeper into the bed-pile.

-Tim_the-Enchanter

5/18. Woke up next to a woman with swastikas tattooed on her chest. Never drank gin before that night, and haven't since.

-TheVegetaMonologues

6/18. Had a super crazy one night stand right after HS with a teachers pet girl who I thought always hated me. I was still living at my parents place so I snuck her in. In the morning my dad came right on into my room to grab my car keys for whatever reason.

I was totally naked, half covered, and the girl was still asleep, topless and uncovered. (continued...)


Keep reading on the next page!

The look I shared with my dad in that moment was the strangest combination of "good work boy" and "you are in so much trouble" I have ever experienced.

I had to blanket up and take my keys downstairs where he was waiting. He put a lock on the liquor cabinet after that, but apart from that I think he was pretty proud.

-Hellview152

7/18. I woke up next to someone and immediately regretted the decision I had made drunkenly the night before. So I get up slowly to be as quiet as I could and started putting on my clothes, ready to leave.

I got halfway down the staircase before I realized I was trying to sneak out of my own house.

-The_Bacon_Bandit

8/18. She asked me to buy her cigarettes the next morning. I was like, "why can't you just go buy them yourse- OHHHHHHHHHH SHIIII!

-trollindowntheriver

9/18. She told me to get up because she had to babysit her granddaughter. First I thought she was joking. She was not.

-rrollie

10/18. I was having a drink in a bar on a work trip and wound up chatting with this guy for a few hours and he eventually asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I did, and he showed me around. Typical suburban house with furniture and a kitchen and blah blah blah.

So, we go to his bedroom and it is decorated entirely with cheap stuffed animals that you get at the fair. Bears, unicorns, horses, pigs... Everything. He has so many that he built shelves all the way around the walls with the smallest animals on the bottom shelf and the biggest ones on the top. No lie, there were probably 1,000 of them.

I had to go outside and smoke a cigarette. Thank God he didn't smoke because I had to collect my thoughts. The thing was, everything else about this guy seemed normal. (continue...)


Keep reading on the next page!

He had a nice house, we sort of knew the same people in his work field, he wasn't married. He just seemed like a decent person who was totally unashamed of his stuffed animal collection.

The more I thought about it, the more I admired it because I knew he had to get harped on by his friends, so I started to find it attractive. I hate to say it, but I started thinking about a relationship.

So, I come back inside and we ended up having pretty decent sex for being sort of drunk and having a one-night-stand. We finished up and I put my head on his shoulder and asked him what he thought about it.

"Go ahead and take a prize off the bottom shelf," He said.

Always go with your first instincts, folks.

-Sloots_and_Hoors

11/18. She gave me money afterward. I thought it was a date

-Semi-Pro_Biotic

12/18. We woke up with no memory of each other, then she began screaming about being late for her grandma's funeral. I dropped her off in a tiny dress (not wearing shoes) still drunk as hell in front of her entire extended family.

-MWdoha

13/18. So about month ago I had been seeing this girl casually. We'd been on 2-3 dates but not really anything serious.

We go to a college bar one night and I end up going home to her place since it's closer. We were both ridiculously drunk but one of the few things I remember is before I went to sleep I asked her if I could use her charger since my phone was dead and I'd have to call an uber in the AM.

Fast forward to 7am. I wake up to my phone ringing plugged in on the bedside, so I roll over and look at it. Call from my Dad. Weird. He never calls this early. (continued...)


Keep reading on the next page!

So I pick it up and in my deep/groggy morning voice go "Hey whats up dad?"

Guy on the other end of the phone goes "Who the HELL are you?". That's when I realized that my iPhone is black, and this one was white. I also realized that I had plugged my phone in on her desk about 3 feet away.

Got up, called an uber, left. Haven't talked to her (or her dad) since.

-depresslon

14/18. I met a girl at a show that my band was playing at, went back to her place, had sex 3 or 4 times that night, then fell asleep at probably 7am.

I wake up at about 9am, completely disoriented, and hear her boyfriend kissing her saying "Mmm, looked like you guys had fun last night!" He was apparently watching us the entire time. Bleh!

-[deleted]

15/18. Was at a local spot a few years back, met this girl who was pretty hot (according to 10 of my closest cocktails).

Anyways, we chill for a bit, head to her house, do our business and fall asleep. I woke up and noticed a book bag, etc, school books. Ask her what she's studying and she tells me she goes to the local HS. I died a little inside and left.

I ran into her a few weeks later and it turns out she was messing with me cause she needed me out of the house before her roommates got home. Dude. Could have just asked.

-axionj

16/18. Woke up to her mom standing over the bed looking at us both. I'm hung over and can barely move so I tried to hide by covering my eyes with my arm but, in the nicest tone of voice, she says "Honey, could you go out to the couch on the living room for a minute for me?" (continued...)


Keep reading on the next page!

I get up out of the bed and realize I have on a pair of girl's cheerleader shorts, and she just shakes her head at me. The gal I had just had crazy, drunk sex with is still passed out. I leave the room and her mom closes the door behind me and as soon as that door was shut.. she went off on her daughter:

"HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?! GET UP! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK 3 HOURS AGO!" The yelling continued for a solid 10-15 minutes before her mom came storming out the door.

I'm laying on the couch in nothing but the cheerleader shorts because my clothes are still in the bedroom so I just pretended to be asleep. As awkward as it was, it was pretty cool of her not to yell at me.

-ShutUpAndGoFish

17/18. In the morning when she got up to leave I just said "lock the door behind you" because I was super hungover.

So finally I made my way out of bed a couple hours later and she had taken all of the food in my house along with my blender! Like how the hell did she even pull this off?!

-[deleted]

18/18. We slept in her bed. Which was a cot in the kitchen (clue #1 to stop drinking so heavily).

She woke me up to introduce me to her 3 children (clue #2).

They were sleeping in the same bed because the youngest had pooped the other bed during the night (clue #3).

The same bed she told me to hide in when there was a knock on the door at 8 am (turned out to be her sister, but still, clue #4).

She then introduced me to her pet lovebirds. She informed me she would be naming one of them after me (clue #5).

As I am desperately trying to get outta there, she physically removes the stuffed animal from her youngest's arms to give to me to 'remember her by' (clue # lost count).

I did not take the toy from the now-crying toddler.

If I hadn't needed a drink so badly after that debacle, I might have given sobriety a shot.

-grilledcheeseburger

(Source)

(Source)

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo