Office Employees Share Their Bosses' Best Michael Scott-esque Moments
We might all know people that remind us of Michael Scott in The Office, but when your boss reminds you of him it's a special moment. These people share what makes their bosses like Michael Scott.
The Lack of attention to detailsGiphy
I handed him an aerial image I had printed. He told me I needed to reprint it and rotate it 180. I walked to my cubicle, waited a minute, handed it back to him right side up. His reply, "Perfect."
We had mice. Boss man was terrified of mice and a total skinflint who didn't want to pay for an exterminator. His big idea (I kid you not!) was to give me cotton to put in my ears and a blow horn. He then opened the back door, closed all other doors in the little shop, and I had to attempt to herd mice out of the store with a f****** air horn, with cotton balls sticking out of my ears. I tried to explain why it wouldn't work, but he essentially told me not to worry my pretty little head over it, and that was my entire afternoon. Most ridiculous s*** I've ever done at a job ever before, and ever since
The lack of sensitivityGiphy
It was this guy's last day with the company, and the managers brought in a cake for everyone to share. A very nice farewell gesture.
Except he wasn't moving to a new city or leaving the company for a new job. He had gotten fired. The managers literally fired this guy, then called everyone into the kitchen and said "Okay, today is Steve's last day with the company, let's have some cake!" Most oblivious, socially awkward, tone deaf moment imaginable.
The power struggleGiphy
My boss makes me walk 2 meters behind him because I'm tall and he's short.
Bad time to bounceGiphy
After a successful project, owner of the company invited everyone out to lunch (about 12 employees) at a nearby restaurant by the office. Little did she know, the place was very expensive, so she bounces early before the check comes, stating that she had a client call. She gives us money to pay for her meal and takes off, leaving the rest of us to figure out the check. It also turns out she didn't give us enough money to pay for her potion of the check so someone had to throw in a few extra bucks to cover that.
The extensive team power emphasisGiphy
Mandatory Staff Appreciation Day.
It fell on my day off, and I had to come in, to participate in the team-building activities that were scheduled. It went from 7am to 7pm, which was longer than a normal shift. That was my only day off that week.
Paying no mindGiphy
A few coworkers and I competed in a local Office-themed trivia contest. We came in second place, and one of the prizes was a "World's Best Boss" mug. We brought it into work and displayed it proudly like a trophy in one of our offices. My boss--who was not involved in the contest, has never seen The Office, is not friends with or well-liked by any of us, and is a huge idiot--saw the mug in someone else's office and just took it. None of us could figure out where it had gone until we saw her drinking out of it.
A skewed understanding of thingsGiphy
My boss put candles in his dishwasher to clean them and they ended up melting and distributing a thin layer of wax over everything
When you live an episodeGiphy
We legitimately had to lay off 4 people last year, and management decided to wait until the day before the Halloween office party to do it. No joke. It was like the Halloween episode in real life.
I had a boss who got a promotion to senior manager. The very next day he pulled into the parking lot with a BMW 1-Series. No one on my team even knew they made a 1 series (cheapest possible BMW/badge car). He gets out wearing a BMW polo and a white BMW hat. He offered to take me to lunch in it. He jumps on the highway, adjusts his BMW hat and says to me, "I don't exactly do 60 in this thing!" does a little triumphant laughter and starts going 80. There was a cop on the bridge above us. We were immediately pulled over. I will never forget the look of defeat on his face.
The inappropriate commentsGiphy
One of my co-workers is black and loves chocolate. He was talking to the boss one day and mentioned something along the lines of wishing he had some chocolate right now. Boss: "who needs that when we got some milk chocolate right here?" referring to my co-worker
When he was pushyGiphy
It was like my first or second week, he asked me to come see his band (three middle aged white guys playing covers of blues rock bands) play at a sports bar. I told him I had to pick up my parents from the airport on the night in question. He told me they should get a cab.
Behind the back commentsGiphy
One morning I was in his office when on of the employees (5 employees total) got to the office late, maybe 9:45 or something. As she walked in He asked her why she was late and she replied with some excuse and walked away. He turned to me and said: Did you see that? She thinks that she is smarter than me. Someone needs to tell her that if she was smarter than me SHE would be running this company not me.
An unusual meetingGiphy
Ceo of our company Skyped into a meeting, but accidentally hit his laptop screen and aimed the camera down revealing he was Skyping in with the classic 'no pants' style. It was like a real life sitcom moment
When he is just looking out for himselfGiphy
Got the go ahead from corporate to buy a new coffee machine for the office. Bought a new Keurig, took it home and brought in his own old coffee machine for the staff to use. Terrible person, you know who you are!
Very team orientedGiphy
instead of saying "that's what she said" he said "that's what WE said, because we're a team, aren't we?". I bursted out laughing
A principal in our school district had an end-of-year lunch with all of his new teachers and told them 'if I blink at you during lunch, you are rehired for next year." Imagine how tense that lunch was. The union had to step in of course.
"So I used to work..."
So I used to work in customer service for a medical supply company. My boss "volunteers" me to be on the holiday party committee, which was fine with me because it was a break away from the phones. Come to find out the the party was scheduled for the daytime, on a work-day, off site .... and customer service wouldn't be able to come, per my boss, because we would have to stay on the phones. Not only did I nope out of a committee to plan a party I couldn't go to, I raised a big fat stink until customer service was catered a lunch on the day comparable to the holiday party luncheon.
"In my small engineering firm..."
In my small engineering firm, we had a coworker named Bob who became increasingly dissatisfied with our work culture, particularly how our manager Larry was running things. Anyways, it became pretty well known that Bob was looking to move on in his career, and find a new job. Literally everyone in the office knew it was coming, except apparently Manager Larry. When Bob put his two weeks in, Larry fired him for having a bad attitude. Then HR came out and told Manager Larry he couldn't do that. After some closed door arguing, Manager Larry came out and unfired Bob. Then Manager Larry invited the whole team out to lunch to remember the good times with Bob. Of course, what Manager Larry didn't do is pay for lunch.
"During the solar eclipse..."
During the solar eclipse last year, my boss threw a party. The office was closed that day. If we came to the party, we got paid for a work day, but if we took the day off, we did not get paid. So essentially, she paid a bunch of people to come hang out at her house.
"He almost got into a fight..."
He almost got into a fight with a drunk customer and tried to recruit the help of a regular who was just trying to smoke a cigarette.
"I work at a privately owned..."
I work at a privately owned Hertz licensee and branch managers get 4% of the offices profits. We landed our local Ford service center as an exclusive rental provider for the massive Takata airbag recall. It was gonna take about 2-3 months before the parts came in but we had to get people in rentals ASAP as the Fords with faulty airbags were non-driveable. In the first month and a half we put a little over 50 people in rentals with each rental costing Ford $40/day. So 2-3 months of 50 cars at $40/day brought our office $120,000-$180,000 over a 2-3 month period depending on how long each person was actually in (it varied based on when they new airbag came in).
So despite me and my coworker doing 2/3 of the work (theres my boss, me, and my coworker at our office) the branch manager got 4% of the office profits. He told us he would "hook us up" at the beginning of the recall. How did he "hook us up"? A pizza party that consisted of 2 pizzas and two 2 liters of pop. He got roughly $5,000 over those 3 months as a bonus.
"Boss thought I should be..."
Boss thought I should be getting more work done so sends me away on a 1-day Time Management Course.
Not sure where he found the course, but the speaker got up and more or less said "The reason you are here is because your boss thinks you should be working more so this course will show you how to better manage your boss".
Taught us how to better clarify what work we were doing and justify why certain tasks took a certain amount of time. It ended up being a course with almost nothing about Time Management and otherwise consisted entirely of teaching us how to stand up to our bosses.
Of course when I returned I told my boss how helpful the course was. I hope he sends lots of people there
"Was one of a small group..."
Was one of a small group of uni students that worked for a very large and well-respected scientific organisation. Lecturer tried to think of us as his employees but apart from recommending us for the positions was not involved with the project at all.
One of the scientists passed away from illness and even though not all of us worked with her we all went to her wake to show respect.
Uni lecturer went along to try to network. He was working the room, going from one person to the next with the same spiel:
"Hi! I am Eric, how did you know Susan?"
"I'm her brother. Thanks for coming today"
*moves onto next fancy suit*
"Hi! I am Eric, how did you know Susan?"
"We were working together on the Quantum Interface Project"
"Wow, that does sound interesting! Tell me more about it! Maybe we could work together on something"
It was mesmerising; we started covertly following him around the room to fully grasp the depth of his sh!ttiness. But to be fair, we would expect nothing less from the lecturer who once handed everyone an application form for some sort of "Lecturer of the Year Award" and showed us all how to fill it out, especially where to write his name.
"My boss fired..."
My boss fired our in-house web developer because we "couldn't afford her anymore" at $18 an hour, then hired TWO people at $15/hr each to do her job. When I tried to explain the math to her, she kept insisting that $15 is cheaper than $18. Eventually I just gave up.
"Our entire school..."
Our entire school is a sh*tstorm. For years we kept paper files for each student, but about 2 years ago we moved to a computerised system.
Instead of just keeping the existing paper files on hand for the required 7 years and then destroying them, it was decided that they should all be scanned into the system. The chances of any of the files ever being required was almost zero, but whatever, pay me and I'll do it.
So this was the process: take student file out of filing cabinet, use photocopier to scan each document, e-mail document to your e-mail address, open file from e-mail, locate student file in database, rename document to identify it, save document in the appropriate folder in student file. Each student had about 20-30 documents, so it took a long time. Each of the office staff was averaging about 6 kids per day. We were about 3/4 of the way through this laborious, stupid process when the boss decided that the new database system which we had been using (and trained on) for almost a year was no good and replaced it with a new one which was totally different.
In theory, the providers of the new database would migrate all of these documents over (at a cost of $30,000) but she was scared the migration wouldn't work and the files would be lost somehow so now we have to: retrieve each file from the old database, save it to our computer, move it into a new student file on Google Docs, wait until the new database is ready, move it across to new database.
It's so maniacally inefficient it makes me want to scream, but as long as they keep the money coming I'll keep playing Musical Files.
"One of my team's jobs..."
One of my team's jobs is producing our company's internal monthly newsletter that we send out to all the markets. Our CEO and one of the VPs always host the video. The CEO has a "Nazi helmet" that his "dad picked up on the battlefield in WWII" that he keeps in his office. When we're shooting the newsletter, he tries to bring it out EVERY SINGLE TIME to somehow be part of the video--it's never topical, he just wants to show it off. Each time, I tell him why we shouldn't do this (extremely insensitive, also extremely off-topic, etc). Now he makes fun of me for being "too PC"--because I told him he couldn't wear a Nazi helmet in a companywide video.
"I worked for a terrible boss..."
I worked for a terrible boss in a terrible building that has since thankfully been demolished. The building was just an empty factory with two offices which were blindingly hot in summer. The building had one of those 1970s window-mounted air con units with no front panel which someone had attempted to turn into "ducted air con" by attaching some of those silver concertina ducting tubes to.
Unsurprisingly it did not lower the temperature at all. One day it got so hot that the boss left the office he and I shared, walked down the corridor to the second office that his only other employee was in, and without saying anything, stood on her table and used a roll of masking tape to seal up the air-con vent in her office so the vent in his office might work better.
"Not totally a M.S. moment..."
Not totally a M.S moment cause my old manager is a total sweetheart and a really cool dude. But one time (I work in a music store) we were testing some speakers in the far corner of the shop, was me, him, and another associate hanging out (the store was pretty dead). some old lady walks in and the other associate asks if she needs help, as she slowly makes her way over and just as she went to speak my manager, with his back to her, started blasting ghoul and rocking out.
"My boss sent an e-mail..."
My boss sent an e-mail to our receptionist to discuss her wearing shorts that are too short. He accidentally sends it to everyone in the office. In the e-mail he mentions that he'd like to "nip this problem in the butt". The pun was unintended, I think he just had her butt on his mind.
"Forced a group..."
Forced a group of largely unwilling high school girls to hike up a mountain, in the middle of a Virginia summer, without considering that it might be dangerous or illegal (hint: it was both). Oh, and without a map. Or first aid kit.
How there were no lawsuits, I will never know.
"Was working on a website demo..."
Was working on a website demo for a client and after making some changes told the account person who was client contact they'd have to refresh their browser to see the edits.
"Oh, we can ask them to do that! Just put the updates on a different link I can give them."
"We had a Fitbit competition..."
We had a Fitbit competition at work after the company bought us Fitbits. He joined one of the teams and spent the entirety of his day on his fancy walking treadmill desk in his private office getting more steps. He then bragged about it when his team won.
"Driving me and 3 co-workers..."
Driving me and 3 co-workers to a lunch event after a snow storm the weekend before. Driving down the highway, and a massive sheet of ice and snow fall off his roof into whatever cars where behind us.
"I worked behind a customer service desk."
I worked behind a customer service desk. My boss would often come out of his office when he was bored and break into dance Soul Train style and then sort of poke our shoulders with his elbow to get us to join. He was actually really wonderful and so his Michael Scottisms were never annoying or cringy.
There were several instances where he had to deal with racist customers (he was black) who were mostly old and also homophobic. We had access to home addresses, emails and phone numbers through their membership cards. When we caught on to the regular racists who gave him the most trouble, my employees and I took it upon ourselves to anonynously sign these customers up for gay black adult videos.
Kicker was we'd send it under their names but to their wives so they'd have some "explaining" to do. We did everything very carefully outside of work, understood how many rules we were breaking, and how unprofessional it was but so is being a homophobic racist and some people deserve their karma served fresh.
Most of us have moved on from that company but his retirement is this weekend and we're all going.
"I recently went to a quarterly meeting..."
I recently went to a quarterly meeting for my company and they introduced the new Regional Manager. During this meeting they were also introducing the new employees that had just been hired. They would bring up the new hires and ask them questions as ice breakers to help them introduce themselves. The first guy comes up and they ask him to introduce himself and ask for his favorite color and he replies. He's asked to sit down but before he walks off the stage the new Regional Manager steps up and she says, "I want to ask something! I love doing these!" So she asks him, "How many siblings do you have?"
The new hire looks down and responds that his only sibling has passed away not 2 months ago. The whole room goes silent. The Regional Manager's face had that uncomfortable Michael Scott look on her face. She just looks at him and says, "I'm so sorry". And she sits down. He walks off sits back down as well. The Regional Manager did not ask anymore questions after that.
"My boss is..."
My boss is an all-around awesome guy, but he sometimes says "dur dur-dur" when anyone does something dumb.
"My old boss..."
My old boss (who I actually respected a great deal) asked me to come into his office. He then told me we had to have a conversation about my future at the company and asked me to sit down. Gave me a $3,500 bonus. I thought I was being fired.
"Set the timer..."
Set the timer on his Lean Cuisine for 20 minutes, rather than 2 minutes. We work in a state building so another office smelled the burning food and called in the fire department.
"2 bosses at one company..."
2 bosses at one company:
I had one boss who wanted some security measures added to their bank login, specifically because I was a new controller who replaced the nephew of another boss. The nephew was stubborn, he spent over budget to make computers and printers run, but the bosses hated it so they restricted my access. NBD of things break and I can't fix them without an extra layer of checking in with bosses, right? Lol nope
Boss instructs me to set up the new bank security measures on his computer, which requires me to be in touch with bank IT on the phone. When it comes time to pick a password, boss tells me to just do it all for him. I remind him that the specific reason he wanted the extra security was because of ME being new, so I'm the last person who should set up his passwords. He ignores what I said and tells me again to "get it done for me."
Second incident, same company, different boss. I'm still restricted from most financial access, which is stupid for a controller but I'm new and they're paranoid about the nephew I replaced, so whatever. One of the VPs is having trouble with a credit card, but I'm not authorized to talk to the CC company about it. Boss recommends that I pretend to be him on the phone with CC helpdesk, explicitly committing the very fraud that they restricted my access for in the first place, on a phone line that records calls.
I left the company within 2 months.
"Went to bat..."
Went to bat for the pretty girl in the office when promotion time came up and it turned out she never put in for the job.
"For a staff appreciation event..."
For a staff appreciation event, he hired an ice cream truck to come to the office. Of course he insisted on driving it the last 100 ft into the parking lot.
"I had a boss who put a fish..."
I had a boss who put a fish in one of the corporate guy's briefcases. He figured he would find it in a few hours, ha ha funny gag. Instead his suitcase stayed closed in his hot car in the summer over the weekend. Come Monday got a putrid surprise. Thought it was a diss so my boss never owned up to it.
"My regional office boss..."
My regional office boss got let go by corporate management suddenly and nobody was happy about it (he was well liked). On the very same day that he (and us) were told that this was happening, they brought in our new replacement boss (outside hire) for a pizza party so that we could welcome him. What ensued was a incredibly awkward time where our freshly fired ex-boss moped around with a sad slice of pizza while the new boss tried to introduce himself to an office full of still-shocked employees.
"I have two..."
I have two:
He came down and had a floor meeting to thank us for generating so much revenue for the company that we are able to put his kids through college. He paid us barely more than min wage.
They would give us $25 debt gift cards every christmas. The same company where the boss says we were putting his kids through college would only gift us $25 every year. I wouldve rather taken nothing than that insulting gift. That $25 wasnt even enough to fill up my gas tank for my commute to even get to work.
He hid under a desk when a creditor stopped by unannounced.
2010ish... Branch came in under budget. We wanted to get new blinds for the big windows (the current blind did not block enough light), but the boss decided to submit the surplus and got a bonus. He used it to help pay for an ATV. That weekend he rolled the ATV and broke his shoulder. He called in and asked us to video conference with him daily to give progress reports. No-one gave any sympathy and he was craving it. He ended up hobbling around for at least a month once he returned to work. Apparently a broken shoulder equated to hunchback and shuffling.
Oh Jesus, she's from New Zealand and does these wierd chants about her cricket team. So she did one during a team meeting while a project was going off the rails, super awkward.
Another time she showed us a picture of the Cricket team she odes these weird chants and dances for and one was clearly groping her in the picture. Like super clearly.
"I had a boss that spent..."
I had a boss that spent all week talking up this special bonus our department would get if we met these goals. Super secret, super special bonus. We blew it out of the water and were so excited to see what we would get! Our bonus: a box of popsicles. Not 100% sure he thought we could do it, or over promised something corporate wouldn't give him?
"My boss asks me every day..."
My boss asks me every day if I want to go on a Pokemon Go raid with him. I have never denied a raid and love my boss.
"I had a boss who expected..."
I had a boss who expected me to literally read his mind when he gave me an assignment. I was working as a project developer, and since he was the one in charge of speaking to the clients, he was supposed to provide me with details. Instead I would be sent a very short sentence and if I asked any questions, he would yell at me for not being able to figure out exactly what he wanted. Needless to say, I noped out of that job fairly quick.
"My boss travels to all our locations..."
My boss travels to all our locations in our region. So employees dont see him often in certain locations. He was visiting a location and at the end of the day he called in one of the employees (very sweet and gullible girl) to the lunch room. I was walking by to grab my things but during that period this is the conversation I over heard. My boss "there is going to be a series of lay offs and you are the first one to be let go" employee (voice breaking) "no. Are you serious? Please no!" Boss (breaks out laughing) "I'm just kidding!"
"Brought up a raise..."
Brought up a raise after a year of working there during a one-on-one with him. Mentioned I made 33% less than the national average for my position, which was extremely specialized with only one company in America offering training for it. He looked shocked and asked how I knew I made that much less.
Google, Kevin. I used Google.
"One of my old bosses was Michael Scott."
One of my old bosses was Michael Scott. Looks, mannerisms, idiocy, all of it. However it wasn't until he came in with a boot on his foot right around the same time the George Foreman Grill episode debuted that it all came together.
My coworker told my boss that she was pregnant and my boss started asking all kinds of incredibly inappropriate questions such as "are you spotting."
"My old boss fake fired me..."
My old boss fake fired me once, much like when Michael Scott did the same to Pam.
He called me into his office and as soon as I sat down he said, "We're going to have to let you go", then waited until I looked like I was going to cry and said "Wait, really?" Then he started laughing maniacally. His office was all glass and the door was open, so when a coworker walked by he was still laughing and said, "HAHAHAH WOW, DID YOU SEE THAT?! SHE REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS GETTING FIRED!" Meanwhile, I'm still sitting there, horrified.
Then he continued on with our conversation like he didn't just play an awful trick on 25 y/o me. But jokes on him (or me?), because, they actually fired me 6 months later.
"A boss I had once..."
A boss I had once was trying to be politically correct and ended up making everyone cringe. We were having a team briefing and it was during Ramadan. Now we had quite a few of Muslim colleagues so she says at the end of the meeting "so as you know it's Ramadan could you please think of colleagues fasting when bringing food on to the office floor" all well and good perfectly reasonable thing to say. Then she turns to the only middle eastern-asian guy on our team and goes "how are you doing with fasting?"
He replied "I'm a Sikh" she then turns to the other Asian team member and says "you're fasting aren't you?". "Yes" she replied the boss then says "it can be hard to tell" the Asian girl on our team said "my head scarf is a bit of a giveaway". I just could not look away.
"Told me to do something illegal..."
Told me to do something illegal after telling me he was already trying to get me fired. He claimed he would cover for me if anyone found out about the illegal thing.
"Whenever he comes up with a funny joke..."
I had a boss, was my manager before my promotion. Whenever he comes up with a funny joke he will tour the entire office to tell people. He once did a lap of the office holding a printer cable when people asked what he was doing he responded with 'following a lead'
"My boss told me a story..."
My boss told me a story about accidentally wearing his wife's pants to work one day at a previous job. He was not a fan of The Office so I had to tell him about that plotline and send him a clip of it. He's also a bit of a relic, in that he at times would say sexist/racist jokes and we had to warn him that he can't really get away with that stuff so he should watch who he's that open with.
"My office brought in Tim Horton's coffee..."
My office brought in Tim Horton's coffee for the entire office as an appreciation gift.
They give us free coffee everyday. There are coffee machines in every break room.
"Secretary went into boss's office..."
Secretary went into boss's office to tell him something, but he wasn't in. She started to walk away, but heard something behind her. She turned around and said "Darren?" To which he responded "yes?" Voice coming from underneath the desk. "What are you doing?" She asked. To which he replied, "Just seeing if I could fit under here."
I have a million of these, but this one always stuck out. Sort of a Michael Scott/George Costanza mashup.
"Installed a bug..."
Installed a bug in our office because he was sure we are constantly talk sh*t about him (which is true).
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Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.