'OMG Are You A HOBBIT?!' People Share Their Most Awkward Halloween Stories.

"I've got an idea! How about a holiday where we all dress as scary as possible and children go door to door taking candy from strangers? What could possibly go wrong?"

-Dr. John Hallo-Ween, inventor of Halloween.


This article is based on AskReddit answers. Links on the last page.

1/25. I told a girl at a party I thought it was very creative that she dressed up as a pregnant nun. Yeah, she wasn't pregnant.


2/25. I went as a teabag last year and everybody thought I was a bag of weed. After a while, I just went with it.


3/25. I didn't personally receive it, but when my brother was about 7, these old women down the street gave him an electric can opener for Halloween. Sure, my parents were thrilled, but my brother had no idea what the heck to do with it.


4/25. One year I went as an avocado (like one split in half with the pit still intact). Some guy at a party said: "Dude, are you the Incredible Hulk's vagina?"


5/25. I was 6 years old. I didn't even need to THINK about who I'd dress up as. Batman was my favorite superhero. Obviously. So, like any other 6 year would be, I was stoked to show up at school in my Batman costume, complete with foam biceps.

I was prepared to get any, and all, of the ladies. (continued...)

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But then there was this jerk kid in my grade who dressed up as Superman. See, I've NEVER been a very popular kid, and I don't know why, but this Superman kid just never liked me at all.

I was minding my own business, playing with some blocks or some shit, when he strolls by with his running crew, and he's all like "Hey, you think Batman is better than Superman?"


Obviously I knew this fact to be true, because... it's Batman, and I'm sorry to all Superman fans out there, but Batman craps all over that guy. Anyway, I was feeling rather courageous in my Batman costume, and I knew Batman wouldn't take any smack talk from Superman, so I said back to the kid, "Yeah, I do."

If I were actually Batman, I think the kid would have backed down, but I'm pretty sure he knew the muscles on my costume were fake.

Because what ensued was a swift kick right into my berries. I fell down onto the floor, crying my ass off, because if I remember correctly, he kicked them hard. Really hard. The kids all pointed and laughed, yada yada yada, this is why I drink.


6/25. In high school everyone would wear costumes to school on halloween. I decided to go with the classic sheet-on-the-head-with-holes-cut-out-of-it ghost costume. I got sent to the office because everyone thought I was a klansman.


7/25. I was in the eighth grade, so I'm about almost 14, and I dress up as a fairy for Halloween. Homemade yellow tutu, tights, wand, and a crown. Very cute. So first thing's first, I have a cold. Like, the kind of cold where you can't go 5 minutes without a tissue and you can't taste anything for 2 weeks.

My day got worse from there. (continued...)

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Then, I go to school and I blow a math test. Then I get on the bus to go home, and some mean boy comes up to me, makes fun of my costume, and sits on me, breaking my wand in half.

I get home and my mom mends the wand and things start to look up. Right?


I go trick-or-treating with my 3 friends (who were also all fairies) and see a group of boys from my school. One of them steals my wand, resulting in a good 3-minute long chase through various backyards. This ends with me knocking him to the ground and him snapping my wand in half. I was FURIOUS.

We get back to my friend's house afterwards and we're all in her basement. One of my other friends decides it would be hilarious if she threw an unopened bottle of water at a yoga ball. She does, it bounces off, hitting me DIRECTLY in the face. At that instant, blood just pours out of my dried up, snotty nose and doesn't stop. For. An. Hour.

Her parents start freaking out as I have my head over the trash can crying because I just had the worst day of my life. My dad picked me up once the bleeding slowed. The next morning, Nov. 1, I wake up with a 104 fever, coughing up blood. BEST HALLOWEEN EVER.


8/25. Back in middle school one year I went as Neo and my friend went as Blade. Everyone thought we were the trench coat mafia. Terribly awkward.


9/25. While trick-or-treating I was given a sunflower seed. Not a bag. ONE sunflower seed.


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10/25. Back in high school I dressed up like a wizard one year. But I made my own costume instead of buying a pre-made one. I bought this weird trench coat, and a super gross stringy fake beard.

First house we go trick-or-treating to, I tell my friends to wait before ringing the doorbell, so I can hide behind the door and pop out when they open it. I get in position and they ring the bell. The kid opens the door with his mom, kicks me in the head, and yells "OSAMA BIN LADEN!"

Cue headache and a slew of "Are you Osama?" questions all night. I guess being brown + wearing a beard = terrorist.


11/25. The year was 1997, even though I lived near the Twin Cities in Minnesota, most kids my age were Packers fans. For Halloween we got to dress up in costume to go to school. I went as a Vikings player.

Along with wearing costumes, each class got to parade through the other classes to show off their costumes.

When we got to one of the fourth grade classes, the teacher, who was a giant Packers fan, booed me and convinced her entire class to boo me as well. I eventually was overwhelmed, cried and ran away.


12/25. A buddy of mine, when we were maybe 5 or 6, really wanted to be a horse for Halloween. His mother and grandmother worked very hard on the costume.

So the big day came and there was a costume contest at his school. He thought he had a good shot of winning. He was very proud of the costume. And he did win, actually.

But everyone thought my buddy in the horse costume was Alf, so he cried the whole time while collecting his prize.



13/25. Me and a group of my friends were in a dorm elevator on the way to a college Halloween party. Another girl on the elevator looks over at us and says: "Oh are you guys going to the white trash party???"

We weren't.


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14/25. In 1986 (I was 9), the year Halley's Comet made an appearance, I dressed as Edmond Halley - the guy who discovered it. Most people thought I was supposed to be George Washington. Obviously, I was one of the cool kids.


15/25. Last year at this party I saw this girl with a hair bump, spray tan, and super trashy heels. So I was like,"Oh hey thats funny, you're Snookie from Jersey Shore! I'm Hermoine Granger!"

She looked at me and said,"Why do people keep saying that?! I'm NOT wearing a costume." Awkwarrrrrd.


16/25. When I was a kid I did a wet fart in my princess costume and got a rash from it.


17/25. Someone gave me a potato instead of candy. Only realized this at home, so I couldn't retaliate. Still eats at me.



18/25. While trick-or-treating, I got a pamphlet explaining how I was going to hell for celebrating Halloween. Fun times...


19/25. I was wearing a suit, a cape, a skull mask resting on the top of my head (not on my face), and holding a scythe. A girl walked by me and said, "OMG! Are you a HOBBIT!?" I'm short, but seriously? A hobbit?


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20/25. I dressed as a steampunk airship pilot. Went out in St. Louis. Everyone thought I had a phenomenal Charles Lindbergh costume. An old man sang a song to me about it.


21/25. I swear I got a condom while I was trick-or-treating. I was seven.


22/25. Last night, I was at a Halloween party at a dude's apartment. He had black lights on the walls, and had turned all the normal lights off and the black lights on.

This one woman walked in, and the area around her mouth was glowing. One of her friends at the party quietly told her and she looked pretty horrified.


23/25. I cross-dressed once a few years back for Halloween, had girls help me out and did not tell a soul I was doing it.

People didn't think I was in costume. Got hit on, and people thought I was a lesbian when my then-gf made out with me.



24/25. Every year, my girlfriend and I walk all over downtown taking pictures with random people in costumes. One time, I took a picture with a homeless guy thinking that he was a post-apocalyptic survivor. I ended up giving him $10 because I felt bad.


25/25. I'm gonna be that guy and admit to giving garbage treats. There's this one neighbor kid, this one little kid who hates animals for no reason, kicks cat and stuff. That jerk is getting a candy onion. His friends are all gonna bite into tasty, warm apples, and he's getting layers of onion. Like the little ogre he is!





Social thumb credit: Sean Locke Photography /

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