'One Day Your Parents Are Gonna Die.' People Share Stories Of Revenge Gone Too Far.
We all know it can be satisfying to get someone back for their misdeeds. But these people think they might have gone a little bit too far in their efforts to level the playing field.
Let us know what you think!
This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.
1/12. My ex-girlfriend and I were in the process of buying a house together. Then I found out that her ex wasn't her ex, if you know what I mean. I could have broken up with her then and there, but I didn't.
Instead, I bought the house. She sold her condo. She was not on any of the paperwork on my house. I broke up with her and kicked her bitch ass out in the cold January snow.
2/12. I had this friend in high school who was really full of himself and braggy. So one time, I spent an hour hyping him up to ask out this girl who I knew hated his guts. I just wanted to see him get taken down a peg.
I didn't want to see him cry in the cafeteria and never live it down. Whoops.
3/12. I was at the park with my wife and my 4 year old daughter. We went with another couple with their 4 year old son.
The kids were both riding scooters. The little boy had been riding his scooter for a long time and rode it a lot so he was very confident with his scooter skills but my daughter had just got her scooter a few days before and was nervous riding it.
The little boy thought it was funny to ride his scooter fast and then hit the brakes and gently bump into the back of my daughter's scooter.
He did this 3 times and my daughter got more upset each time he did this. Each time I told him not to do this in a progressively stern voice but he kept doing it.
After the third time he did this I looked him dead in the eyes and told him if he did that again he would be sorry.
The little jerk backs up 20 feet and starts coming full speed at the back of my daughter's scooter. He wanted to learn the hard way. (continued...)
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My parental instinct kicks in and I put my foot firmly down a foot and a half behind my daughter's scooter thinking this would scare the kid into veering away. But he didn't have time and he tried to stop in a panic.
His timing was to slow down and gently crash into my daughter's scooter was thrown off by my foot, causing the 4 year old to go flying and fall hard on the concrete path. He skinned both his hands and both his knees and he loudly yelled out "What are you doing!"
I instantly felt bad. Plus some people in the park had missed the initial scooter bumping and just saw me tripping this 4 year old kid so I felt embarrassed.
A few minutes later (after calming the kid down) both his parents laughed and thanked me for teaching their kid a lesson because he was being a jerk.
4/12. I was with my daughter at the fair when she was a little over a year old. Some older kid came up to her and was being a bully. Screaming in her face, kicking sand on her... I told him to leave. But the little bastard does it again. And again. And again.
So I squat down and look him in the eyes and tell him "SANTA CLAUSE ISNT REAL. ITS JUST YOUR PARENTS. AND ONE DAY YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA DIE. I still feel kinda bad when i remember the look of horror in his face before he started crying and running away.
5/12. When I was in high school, I had a girl who stalked me. I know what you're thinking: most teenage boys would love to have a lovesick teenage girl following them around everywhere, constantly offering sex.
Trust me. It's not as cool as it sounds.
This girl was crazy, and not in a good way. She would memorize my schedule and hang around my locker when she knew I had an off-period. Or she would 'coincidentally' turn up outside my classrooms and walk me to my next class.
In retrospect, I should have just levelled with her and told her 1) that I wasn't interested, and 2) that her behaviour was pretty stalkerish. But I was a nice boy and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
I only decided to take revenge on her when I found out she chased away a girl I was actually interested in by telling her that I was abusive. That was the last straw. (continued...)
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Crazy was in my drama class at the time, so I decided to use that to get back at her in an unexpected way.
A week or so later, we were working on stage-combat scenes. You know, fake slaps, punches etc. Normally, I avoided her with every fibre of my being in that class, but on this occasion, I specifically asked her if she wanted to work with me. Of course, she said yes.
So I started following her around for a change. I would show up at her locker between classes, and make her rehearse our fight scene.
This was fitting revenge because: 1) I could tell she was actually getting a bit sick of me and 2) I enjoyed the irony of pretending to beat up a girl who falsely accused me of being abusive.
But the real revenge was accidental. On one of the occasions where I forced her to rehearse, she slipped, fell, and broke her pelvis.
The next day, I received a special award for "Citizenship" from the school. I got a free trip to a theme park. She got to spend 6 weeks bedridden. I'm bad people.
6/12. I was dating this guy in high school who ended up being really abusive. When I broke up with him, he started stalking me. He'd show up at my workplace and even at my home in the middle of the night, just hanging around outside of my window and things like that.
I confronted him at school and told him that he needed to leave me alone. He did not comply. I was at my wit's end.
So I ended up moving a knife that he kept in his car into a visible spot. I told the school police officer that he was stalking me (true) and was threatening to hurt me (not true) with the knife in his car (true).
I took the officer out to see the knife, of which was sitting on the passenger seat of the car. Got my ex suspended from school so he finally left me alone.
7/12. Senior year of high school me and a long time buddy were at a party hosted by a kid from our rival highschool. One of our mutual friends had invited us. The guy hosting the party was pretty mean to us - him and his stuck-up friends drank all our beers ad ignored us - so we were bored. That's when we noticed a drawer ajar with a disposable camera inside, and decided to have some fun. (continued...)
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We figured the disposable camera must belong to this guy's parents, so we tart taking pictures of the house full of kids with booze in their hands.
People take notice and start posing for pictures - even the host got in on one of them with a bottle of vodka in hand. Then for good measure we went to the bathroom and snapped a picture of each of our dicks.
We put the disposable back in the drawer we found it in and high-tailed it out of there. To this day I have no idea what happened to that kid when his parents went to get their photos developed.
8/12. I was picked on a lot in high school. The ringleader literally goaded me into a reaction every day.
No one else seemed to realize what a bully he was and he seemed really popular.
Anyways I got invited to this party in 11th grade. Everyone was already drunk when I got there, and my nemesis was passed out drunk, face down on the sofa in the living room.
Everyone was out back or in the kitchen. As I was grabbing a beer, I noticed a multipack of chocolate bars on the counter. Seeing my opportunity, I took one, unwrapped it, and making sure no one else was around, I went into the living room, lifted up the back of his white tracksuit bottoms, and wedged it in my tormentors butt crack. Then I quietly left.
The following Monday, no one will talk to him because he woke up in a panic thinking he's pooed himself when the chocolate melted.
9/12. It was a Friday afternoon and I want a beer. Nobody else is interested except for Jake, so we end up at the local pub together. A couple of hours of drinking pass and we're super drunk.
As you would expect after several hours of drinking, the time came where we both needed to use the toilet. So we left for the journey together and ended up at a urinal standing next to eachother.
Jake, in his infinite wisdom, decided it would be hilarious to pee at me. He turns around and yells "HEY" and shoots a long stream of pee all over my fabric-toed shoes. Jake found this hilarious, while I found it disgusting. He quickly runs off while I'm left to finish my own pee and calculate my revenge. (continued...)
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I zip up and turn around to leave the toilet, when who do I see but Jake bent over next to the sink. With no time to think, I ran in and planted my pee-soaked toe at full force in the middle of his butt. The kick landed perfectly, directly between the cheeks. The revenge was more glorious than I could have anticipated.
I go to pat Jake on the back, but then I realized... It isn't him. My heart sinks and my jaw drops.
It was an old man wearing the same colour clothes as Jake, who was stooped in a struggle to do up his belt. Words started stumbling out of my mouth, I asked the guy if he was okay, told him that I was so incredibly sorry- tried to explain how the misunderstanding occurred however he did not (could not?) say a word.
He kept grunting and waved me off, signalling for me leave. I made it up to him by covering his tab for the rest of the night.
10/12. When I was in high school, another kid in the class had been a jerk to my friend the day before, so I went to class a few minutes early and squirted a big blob of hand sanitizer on his chair. It's important to mention that nobody saw me do this.
He came in, sat down, and was immediately furious. He started looking around to figure out who did it, and there I was, doing a very poor job hiding my laughter.
He puts two and two together, walks over, and starts hitting me. The teacher sends us both to the office where they ask why he was beating me up. He says I put water in his chair. I claim I have no idea what he's talking about. Well there's only one way to see who's telling the truth. We all go back to the classroom to check the chair.
Except it was hand sanitizer, not water, so it had already evaporated.
Kid threw a fit and got a week suspension. I got off scott free. I know he deserved it, but I still kind of feel bad.
11/12. When I was in high school, there was a girl who was just a real jerk to me. I never knew why. I don't think I had ever done her wrong, but day after day there she was in all her jerkiness. One day I decided it was enough. (continue...)
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I was standing in the quad with some of my buddies, and she pushed past me, completely unprovoked, and yelled "Get the **** out of my way!" It reeeeaaaallllllyyyy set me off.
So as she started disappearing into the sea of students, as a last ditch effort to release some of my frustration, I took my gum out of my mouth and threw it at her. She was probably 20-25 feet away, so I just assumed it fell harmlessly to the ground.
After I calmed down for about 1-2 minutes, I saw her again. But there was something wrong. She was crying and her friend was trying to console her. And then I see it: her entire head was a massive tangle of gum and tight brown curls.
And for about 3 seconds I felt bad. Then I realized that for me to make that throw, damn near blindly, into a crowd of people, and have it land in the only real place it could have been that gloriously catastrophic, I knew I had made the right choice.
12/12. I used to get in a lot of fights, but I only started fights with people who were bullies. Still though, not the best thing to do. There is one fight I feel truly bad for though.
So one day, my brother's recurring bully starts beating on him. I told the guy previously I would kill him if he touched my brother again. Well when I saw him fighting my brother I started laying into him. By the end of it, he had to get carried to the office. That's not the part I feel bad about though.
At one point, his little brother tried to pull me off, and I respond by kicking him in the stomach so hard he fell down.
If that wasn't bad enough I later find out that their dad's an alcoholic and his older brother who I just beat into the ground makes sure dad doesn't go after him. I wasn't even punished either (everyone knew how the fight started and that the older brother was bully).
But before you take revenge, you should think: you never know what goes on in people's lives behind the scenes.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"