Parents Recount Their 'NO WAY Is This Person Dating My Child' Moment.

You can't choose your family member's significant other. You have to hope they will make good decisions, but that isn't always the case.

Here, parents recount the moment they realized "there is no way this person is dating my kid".

1. Looking out for baby brother.

Not a parent, but an older brother. I'm about thirteen years older than my little brother, and after my parents died, I basically raised him.

He's bisexual, and when he was sixteen, he started dating this really douchey guy who I got super bad vibes from. I didn't know until after it was over, but he was very controlling and was constantly trying to pressure my brother into doing things he wasn't really comfortable doing (sex, drinking, smoking, etc) and since I didn't know this was happening, I just figured he would get over this creep and find someone decent later on. I didn't have any evidence that the guy was bad, so I avoided conflict by letting it happen. Yeah, bad idea, obviously.

I immediately shut it down when my brother came home with a bruise on his cheek, apparently the jerk had hit him after my brother said no to having sex with him. There wasn't an argument between us, he realized that his (ex, obviously) boyfriend was a total tool after that.


2. Sometimes, when you've done a good job parenting, your kids handle things fine themselves.

When he was 14 my son caught the attention of the only girl on his hockey team. They started hanging out a bit, and she would dye his hair strange colours, all harmless stuff. Then he found out she was also hanging out with some other guys, and got suspended from school for drug/alcohol abuse, so he backed away. Then she drunk-dialled him one night at midnight, telling him how much she missed him. He told her that this was not OK, and he liked hanging out with her, but not if she was going to be like that. I think her parents had also had enough of her antics, because she spent the following summer at a special "hockey" camp far away from home, and played on an all-girls team the next season.

So my son basically handled it himself, but there was NO WAY we were going to let it carry on if he hadn't.


3. Glad it ended.

My son is 15 and recently had his first girlfriend. A couple of months ago, I was driving them home from school and asking about their day. The girlfriend started explaining that they were learning about the Holocaust in their WWII unit when this exchange took place:

Girlfriend: The holocaust was horrible! It should have never happened to the Jews; it should have happened to the Muslims instead.

Me: after a quick brake-check WHAT?!

Girlfriend: It should have happened to the Muslims instead.

Me: No. Something like the holocaust shouldn't have happened to anyone at any time.

Girlfriend: I just don't like Muslims.

Me: Have you ever met one?

Girlfriend: No, but I just don't like them.

After dropping her off, I had a talk with my son about how the opinions of others should not influence our own.

Two days later he broke up with her....


4. Dad doesn't always know best.

I was the guy that was never going to date someone's daughter.

I started dating a girl in my late teens and it seemed to be going well. One day while hanging out at her house, her father came into the living room and started talking to her in French (they're of French heritage, I'm not). I could see that the girl was getting upset answering back, then he got noticeable more angry and it escalated until finally she grabbed my hand, said "let's go" and we went outside.

I asked what that was all about and she proceeded to tell me how her father didn't want me in their house because he had heard stories about my father, the drunk that had multiple run-ins with the law, none of which were good. She tried defending me by saying that I was nice and she liked me to which he replied that he didn't care what she thought because she needed to trust him, I was only going to hurt her and get her into trouble. Apples don't fall far from the tree.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. So I did nothing but be myself. I didn't avoid him. I didn't try to kiss his butt. I just went on as though I had never heard what was said while his daughter and I continued to date.

That was in 1997. His daughter and I got engaged and bought our first house together in 2001. We were married in 2003. We tried, unsuccessfully, for many emotional years to have children. We battled together successfully through my wife's cancer between 2009-2010. We were blessed with our first daughter in 2013. We happily welcomed our second daughter just two months ago. We have no intentions of not growing old together.

There have been so many times over the last 15 years that my father-in-law has told me how happy he is to have me as a son-in-law and how thankful he is that his daughter is with someone that treats her so well and is always there for her.

I can't imagine how our lives would been had my wife listened to her father.


5. "I just don't know what she sees in him."

Not a parent, but my little sister's boyfriend is awful.

She just turned 20 but she was a teenager by the age of 6. Her hobbies are makeup, fashion and her hair. She takes hours to get ready to go out. She wears hair extensions every day. She works out. High maintenance is probably the word. Basically she's all about her appearance.

Her boyfriend... is not. He wore sweatpants to Christmas dinner, and he ate so much he fell asleep at the table. I'm pretty sure he owns only 1 polo shirt, which is his idea of dressed up. He's not intelligent. Together they are the hot wife/slob husband cliche you find in sitcoms. However, the worst part is he's 6 years older than her and already has 2 children by 2 different mothers. Both of whom look very similar to my sister. I really don't know what she sees in him but I hope she breaks it off soon...


6. If you see something, say something.

When my youngest sister was 15 she started dating a 20 year old skumbag. He dealt coke, drove drunk/stoned, got my sister pregnant three times (she always had abortions). And my parents just worried silently... never came down hard on her when she wouldn't come for days, would cut class, would go visit him in hotels when his mother kicked him out, etc.

I'm 5 years older, so was at college when this all happening. But when I'd come home on weekends, I'd go looking for her and yell and make a fuss.

She, of course, hated me for years, and does not want me to tell her teen daughters about him.

She finally broke up with him when he totaled my dad's car. It's a wonder he didn't die in that crash.

And DECADES later she tells me she still thinks she could have turned him around and bears him no ill will.

I'm a parent of teens now. Thankfully I don't see my kids going down that road. But I will NOT sit idly by, waiting for some stupid teen to "finally see the light" if my kids make a wrong turn.

If you SEE something, SAY something...


7. The parent crossed the line BIG time.

Not me but someone I went to school with was dating the daughter of some local successful business owner while he was in college. It was apparent that the parents did not like him, but neither him or his girlfriend really gave a crap. And he wasn't really scummy person, he was just a little awkward.

One day he's leaving work, and as he gets into his car, this big dude grab the keys from him and closes the door.

The father gets in the passenger side of the car and the big dude gets in the backseat. The father was extremely calm, and had his check book with him. He wrote a check for $5000, and said for my friend to take the check, and never be seen with his daughter again, or even near the property or his businesses. My friend initially refused, but the father said the only other option was to not take the check and then his friend in the backseat would find other arrangements that would make him really wish that he had taken the check. They then left the car and gave him his keys back.

My friend was pretty shaken up by the experience, and held onto the check for a few days until he was able to talk to his girlfriend about the situation. She was furious, of course. They then cashed the check, and flew out to California and eloped. They were secretly married for 2 1/2 years before the parents found out. Sadly, the marriage did not last for other reasons, but last I heard, they are still good friends.


8. Parents are not always right. They're just people after all.

Not a parent, but I on the receiving end of this kind of attitude for a while.

Early high school, I met a girl at my church youth group. We made eyes at each other and eventually developed some feelings for each other. When we would try to spend some time together outside of youth group, however, her mom would have a fit and do whatever she could to keep us apart. Her mother's main reason to keep us apart was that I was a year older. I believed that at first, so I did my best to convince her that I was responsible and worthy to date her daughter.

She was having none of it.

The girl was grounded from everything and forbidden to go to the same church just so she wouldn't see me. I thought maybe she just despised the idea of her daughter dating anybody until I heard her mom tried to set her up with one of the girl's guy-friends for a school dance. For whatever reason she was determined to not let ME date her daughter. We found out later that her mom was probably just a controlling jerk. (Continued on next page)...

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A couple years and countless secret exchanges and meetings later, she was finally turning 18. By then, our relationship was very healthy and fairly serious. As soon as she was legally able, she moved out of her mother's house to gain independence and to allow us to be together. We spent as much time together as possible given that I was in college in a different city. Everything was great for a while until she got into some rough stuff with her new-found freedom. She got really deep into the party scene and did a whole myriad of drugs. I still held on, though, until she cheated on me a couple months ago.

It's pretty ironic that I was the one that was the "unfit" one.


9. Sometimes you just have to trust your children.

I allowed my daughter to date the questionable young man. In my home. In the living room. Under my direct supervision. I figured that if I had forbidden it, she might resort to sneaking and lying. Turns out I was just judging a book by its cover because he was actually a nice young man.


10. Opposite situation.

Opposite side of this situation.

Was a 21 year old male, met a fun girl at work. We had a large group that would go to the local pub/bar on Fridays - so one day I invited her to go with us all, not realizing she was 20 and therefore illegal in the US.

She goes, we have fun. The next week I ask her out for a traditional date of dinner and a movie. Unbeknownst to me her jerk ex-boyfriend thinks I have stolen her away and tempted her with the evils of booze. He calls her parents and tells them I'm smuggling her into bars.

I show up to pick her up (story continued on the next page...).

Continue onto the next page for more!

The dad dragged me into the garage and told me if I "contaminated" his baby girl, he'd literally "Hunt me down and kill me".

I didn't want to offend this dinosaur, as a black belt, so I just looked him in the eye and said, " I respect your daughter because she deserves it, not because you want me to."

That seemed to placate him and off we went to our date. The drama level was so high I never went back and told her at work, that life was too short.


11. Prejudice parent.

It is dumb my mother gave my sister crap just because he was Jewish. She said non Christians are only going after her for sex. She treated him so poorly and my sister was too scared of her to stand up for herself leading to their break up.


12. Just being a good friend.

Not a parent here, but I forbid my female friends to date my prick co-worker. He brags about cheating on girls and I know he'll treat them like an object. He's even gone so far as to talk crap about another girl's boyfriend just to try and get them to break up.


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13. Warmed up to him.

Wife and I got married in college. We were married for two years before her family knew (family is in Singapore, and the parents speak no English). I'm absolutely sure that when I stepped off the plane, my in laws wanted me to disappear forever. They treated me politely but were initially very cold. Now, the family loves me. Hell, my sister in law had me MC her very large wedding.


14. Safety first.

My dad made my brother stop seeing his girlfriend because her house got shot up and her car blown up. She was a super sweet girl with a really nice family. We never found out if they were attacked randomly, or if they were somehow gang affiliated. Dad was afraid my brother would be caught up in whatever happened.

I think it was probably a good idea to break them up, but every one was sad it happened.


15. A bad influence.

My daughters boyfriend convinced her to sneak out of our house in the middle of night. Then cut work. Then cut school. Then drop out of high school and run away.

Eventually she left that SO. Found a new person and got married in a month. Now mostly she sits around collecting food stamps and smoking weed.

My daughter's life is ruined.


16. Don't mess with the homebrew.

This guy my daughter was seeing stole, and then lied when presented solid evidence of his theft. Yes, I can see my beer in your truck. No, there's no way that you also happen to drink my coworkers homebrew.


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17. Don't insult someone's mother.

When my son was 15 to 18 he dated a young woman who didn't like me (single mom) and repeatedly tried to get him to disobey and disrespect me. Honestly, I never did anything to her, but she never let up. I would say to young people, Never get serious with someone who encourages you to hate your family, unless of course there relationship is toxic or harmful to that person.


18. Stealing from your partner's parents is never a good idea.

My kids partner tried to steal my car, dog, and VCR at about three in the morning. When i caught him about to pull out of the driveway, his excuse was:

"I have to run to my place really quick to grab a bite to eat. Would you like anything?"

When I asked about Sasha[my dog], and my VCR, he said he was worried someone would steal them while he was gone, so he was bringing them with him to keep them safe...

My little girl dumped him, and I let him keep the VCR...


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19. "I'm kind of glad that decision was made."

I was the kid they didn't let her date. She was rich, I was poor, I was depressed, she was happy, she never smoked a cigarette, I became a heroin addict, and you know the rest of the story.

In the end, I'm kind of glad that decision was made.


20. They grow up so fast!

Everyone thought it was soooooo cute that this little 6 year old monster had a crush on my 5 year old girl. He would write her "love notes" and such.

When I met the kid, he had his shirt on inside out and backwards and he was chewing on his collar.

No way this kid is dating my daughter. Boy can't even dress himself and he thinks his clothes are a chew toy.

Over my dead body.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.