Parents Share The Most Embarrassing Things Their Children Said Aloud

Kids see the world in such a different way than adults. Sometimes, they say something that makes us realize just how different their perspective really is.

These parents responded to the Quora thread, "What's the most embarrassing thing your kid has ever said?" Check it out!

[Source listed at the end of the article.]

"We were driving to a country club with the (at the time) best friend of my oldest son. She just so happened to be a girl. They were both about 45 yrs old at the time. She was with her domestic helper and my wife and I were in the front.

The helper told the little girl, 'when we get there, you might need to have a nap.' To which the girl looked at my son and said, 'Would you like to sleep with me?'

Cue a few seconds of silence, and then the sarcastic side in me got the better of me.

'That is going to mean something completely different in about 15 yrs,' I said to giggles from the wife and helper."

Oliver James

"I have a funny memory, something my niece said when she was young. 

She and her mom were walking into Walmart. She was obsessed with birds at the time, and happened to notice a nest inside the letter 'A' in the Walmart sign as they got closer to the entrance. She said, 'Look, mommy! Theres a bird's nest in the A hole!' She had no idea what it sounded like."

Kimberley A. Tissue

"One recent gem from my 9-year-old son while we were in a grocery store:

Son: (Pointing and loudly exclaiming) 'Mom, mom, look, that's what I've been needing!'

Me: Casually glances at the shelf to see what my little guy thinks he needs so desperately and then immediately ask him to lower his voice down from Megaphone Level 10.

Son: 'Look mom, a whole box, RIGHT THERE!'

Me: 'Uhhh nope, you don't need those, honey. And what would you do with them?'

Son: 'Well, to make my shoes more comfortable!' (spoken in his Duhhhh Mom Isn't It Obvious voice.)

No, we did not purchase a pack of womens sanitary pads for my sons feet that day."

Stacey Thibodeaux

(1/2) "My son was probably about 18 months old at the time. He spoke fairly well for his age, but would frequently switch the consonant sounds in his words. So for example, on some days a cat was a 'cat.' But on other days it might be a 'tac.'

We were out grocery shopping. I frequently kept him entertained by asking if he could help me find the apples - or something else on our list. It got to the point that he would point out the items that we regularly purchased. So we were going down the coffee aisle and he gleefully points at the brand we usually bought and said at the top of his very healthy lungs, 'COFFEE, COFFEE. Daddy looooves COFFEE.' Only the consonants in that word were switched. Go ahead - switch the C and F and see what results."


Karin Zawrotny

(2/2) "I am sure I turned bright red. As calmly as I could, I replied, 'Thats right, Honey. Daddy does like COFFEE (with a very loaded emphasis in the correct pronunciation - and in an equally high volume). Should we buy some for him?' I think we made the stocking boys day. He was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face. Others started coming into the aisle to see what was going on.

My son enjoyed the attention. So he then started holding up the coffee can and repeated his version to everyone we passed… and told everyone how much his father enjoyed it. I made a beeline to the checkout. For several months after that I avoided that aisle if my son was with me.

He is 18 now - and loves this story."

Karin Zawrotny

"I was grocery shopping with my son when he was about 2 years old, I think. He was still young enough to be riding in the cart, but old enough to talk. We have a large Amish community near us, and he didn't have much interaction with them at the time.

We were going down one aisle, which also had a rather large Amish family. A mother and at least 5 children, if I remember correctly (15 years ago!). As he looked at the boys with their straw hats, and similar clothes, and then the mother and daughters with bonnets and dresses with aprons, he asked, 'Mommy, why are they witches?'

Noooooo! He did NOT just say that! I wanted to melt into the floor because that entire Amish family was looking at ME with dagger eyes. They didn't like that one bit. As calmly as I could, I just said, 'Honey, they aren't witches….they just dress differently than we do. That doesnt make them scary.' I have nooooo idea where the idea of witches came to him, but what baffled me the most was that he said it like, 'why ARE they witches?' As in, of course they are, but why?"

Kimberley A. Tissue

(1/2) "I have a son with autism. He is verbal, but not at the Asperger's end of the spectrum, and has a lot of special needs educationally. When he was in fourth grade (around 8 years old), I get a call from his school principal because he has been saying:

'Ow! My Ovaries!'

I also have a daughter who was 14 at the time. It doesn't take much imagination to figure out how this could lead to a potential full-scale investigation, involving school, social workers, police, etc., so I quickly try to defuse that by promising my son's teachers and principal that I'll contact all of my son's behaviorists: CI (community integration), BI (behavioral intervention), and respite workers, hoping they have an idea what my son is talking about and where he heard that.

Nada. Zip. No one knows anything. And these are all people I trust.

My daughter, a stickler for the truth to the extreme, hadn't gotten her period yet, and was absolutely certain she nor any of her friends weren't the source. My wife had hers removed when our son was an infant.

I ask my son, but he thinks it's funny, and began to emit 'Ow! My ovaries!' randomly into conversations.

I call the principal back, report my lack of progress and promise to keep her informed. No official inquest, but the mystery persisted..."

Stephen M Greenfield

(2/2) "...until two months later. I was cooking dinner in the kitchen when I heard a familiar boy's voice say 'Ow! My ovaries!' But it wasn't my son's voice. I race into the living room, and discover that boy is Bart Simpson. My son is playing his favorite video game, 'Simpsons Hit and Run,' and when Bart is driving his rocket car, and crashes, he exclaims:

'Ow! My ovaries!'

Delirious with the thrill of a detective solving a major crime--like I had stumbled upon O.J. Simpson's missing murder weapon--I contact everyone who could possibly have heard about my son's statement and gave them the news it was BART Simpson!

Later, I discovered that the video game took Bart's line from an exchange with his teacher Ms. Krabappel in The Simpson's Season 4 Episode 7, 'Marge Gets a Job':

MS. KRABAPPEL: Bart, to avoid this test, you've had smallpox, the bends, and that unfortunate bout of tuberculosis. It's time for you to take a make-up test.

BART: Ohhhhhh! My ovaries."

Stephen M Greenfield

"I was not there, but my wife was. She used to take our daughters to church every Sunday when they were young. One Sunday, my daughter, who was about 5 at the time, did not want to go, but my wife took her anyway.

They were sitting in the front row. She was fidgeting, and Mom was trying to get her to settle down before the service started. As the priest happened to be walking by, she yelled 'I HATE CHURCH!!' It was picked up by the priests microphone and broadcast through the audio system."

Michael Wright

"I was at the counter of a department store, waiting to pay for my purchases. My five-year-old son was impatiently tugging at my arm. The young woman smiled and asked if I had found everything I needed and I suddenly felt the tugging stop. My sons eyes were huge, focused on the young woman who spoke with a marked speech impediment. 'Please dont say anything,' I silently prayed. 

I assured her I had everything. She then asked (I think) if I wanted to open a credit account. My sons eyes grew wider, if possible, and I quickly said, 'No thanks, Im in a hurry today.' She bagged my items, took the cash and as we turned to leave, I breathed a sigh of relief. 

Just then in a very loud voice, my son asked, 'IS SHE FROM FRANCE?'"

Deb Hinman

"On a family meal out, with three sons, it was my 'duty' to take them to the bathroom when they needed to go.

My middle one was about two-and-a-half years old at the time, learning to speak and to this day, he just says the first thing that comes into his head….

The cubicles were occupied and it was quite crowded inside, so I had to hold him up to go in the urinal as I didn't want any accidents waiting for a cubicle to come free. As boys do, he says 'Daddy, I can see my little part,' as he's going. Job done, put him down, get his trousers back up and tell him it's now daddys turn.

Being the dutiful son, he patiently waits next to me but then starts to inch his way round to watch me go.

'Daddy, I can see your little part too!'

We had a good laugh back at the table."

Oliver James

"My sister, Leah, is the youngest of five (two older sisters and two older brothers). She gave all of us many laughs over the years.

As a 1st grader, she got in the car after school one day and when mom asked how her day was. Leah gave a big sigh and told us she was pregnant. Mom nearly fainted, while my two brothers doubled over with laughter. Mom asked her why she thought that. Leah said that the nurse read their TB test that day and her test was pregnant. After a bit more questioning, mom figured out it she had somehow misheard 'negative' as 'pregnant.'"

Bonnie Shoemaker

"This was something my younger sister said when we were kids. Our kitten returned home from the vet after being 'fixed.' It still had the wobble walk and the boys were making fun of it and laughing at it. My younger sister firmly told them that it wasnt polite to 'laugh at someone who had just had brain surgery.' Huh? 

She went on to explain that everyone knows that the cats and dogs 'have brain surgery so they dont think about sleeping with other kitties anymore.' Well, no, we did not know that--but golly gosh, it sort of makes sense I guess. When my mom had a hysterectomy a few years later, we congratulated her on quick recovery from brain surgery'!"

Bonnie Shoemaker

"When my daughter was six years old, our family was staying at an upscale resort where a variety of children's activities and classes were offered during the day (so the moms and dads could get a few minutes of peace and quiet lounging by the pool, playing golf, etc.).

My daughter was very active and physical, and I encouraged this side of her by play-boxing or roughhousing around the house.

So it seemed like a good idea to sign her up for an 'Intro to Karate' class at the resort.

When I went to drop her off, the instructor asked if my daughter would be ok with some light contact. 'That's ok,' my daughter blurted out, beaming with pride. 'I fight with my dad all the time!'

You should have seen the weird looks I received from the moms in the room.

I was mortified.

This, by the way, is one of my daughters favorite stories."

Sean Cumiskey

"I dont have children of my own, but for a while I was in a relationship with someone who had a little daughter, and spent a lot of time acting as a mom to her. Sadly, shed picked up some behavior elsewhere that I wasnt entirely thrilled with!

On one occasion, when she had just turned three, I was looking around a shop, carrying her because she tended to wander off, and she pulled down my top and announced to the entire room, Look, melons! 

I blushed furiously but luckily the half a dozen or so spectators were pretty sympathetic, after they wiped their eyes and caught their breath from laughing!"

Cat Archer-Wills

"When we first moved to the UAE, we were not too well off. My dads friend visited us on a weekend. He was one of those rich uncles.' Later, he insisted on taking us out and buying me and my siblings some gifts. So all of us went to a mall.

My brothers decided quickly. I, on the other hand, am the most indecisive person on the planet. When uncle was not within hearing range, mum whispered in my ear.

'Cycle lay lo,' she said. [Get a bicycle.]

This is probably because she knew dad wouldn't be able to afford a bicycle anytime soon. I nodded.

I went ahead and joined my uncle and brother. My brother pointed at some toy. 'Just get this,' he said. Me, being the naive child I was, said loudly, 'No! Mum said to tell uncle that I want a cycle!'

There's an awkward silence (for reasons then inconceivable to me, obviously) and my brother quickly changed the topic. Somehow I didnt end up getting anything.

But poor mum. She was so embarrassed that she awkwardly avoided uncle throughout the evening. Of course I was quite clueless then and I remember thinking, 'Hmm, why is mum acting all funny, its almost as if she is embarrassed.'

Soon I caught my mums eye and she gave me the stare. You know, the kind that sends shivers down the spine.

Of course, it was only once we had said our goodbyes to uncle and went home, that mom burst out yelling at me. Then I understood."

Hira Naveed

"Not my son, but my kid brother who is 14 years younger than me. People often mistake him for my son due to our large age difference.

He was maybe 5 at the time and obsessed with superheroes. We were in a department store and had found the toy section, where we were just goofing off. I should mention that my brother had a bit of a lisp, and when words began with 'th-' he would pronounce them as 'wh-.'

I picked up a hulk mask and said, 'Im the HULK.'

To which he promptly picked up a Thor helmet, and hammer and bellowed trying to top me, 'Im [insert derogatory word for a lady of the night]!'

I doubled over laughing, which might not have been the best move because he proceeded to scream the same phrase through the toys aisle, pleased with himself and the reactions he was getting from strangers."

Shay Zykova

"The 7-year-old I babysit was fascinated with a new word he had learned for the male anatomy and went around with me for an afternoon periodically yelling, Dave, can I kick you in the nuts?

My response was complicated by several factors:

I wanted to acknowledge his courtesy in asking before doing.

I thought he should recognize what a doomed strategy this was. Nobody was going to respond, Well, a good swift kick in the old sack seems like just the right pick-me-up.

Please stop yelling nuts in public. Unless youre talking about almonds or something."

David Becker

My young son started kindergarten and when I picked him up he was excited about two of his classmates, who were identical twins. Now he might have been four or five years old and Im sure had seen identical twins before, but never in his school. These two boys were exactly alike in every respect down to the haircuts.

He ran over to where I was with a group of waiting parents and said "Hey Mom! There are two boys in my class who have different clothes but the same heads!"

I thought it was funny, as did those around me, as he meant no harm. Im not sure their mother was amused, though, as she just stood there expressionless.

We had to have a chat about his not expressing his observations about others so loudly and publicly.

Alex Geissinger

I saw this happen with a woman at an off-price clothing department store.

I was looking at handbags. This section is next to the bra and panties section.

There was this little girl, maybe 3 or 4, running around with panties on hangers in her hand and yelling trying to ask her mom something. I couldn't help but eavesdrop and heard:

Little girl: Mom! Mom! what is your panty size? what is your size? Please, tell me your size! I found these for you. Look at these undies they are so cute and beautiful.

Mother: Go, put them back.

Little girl: Mom, would you please try these on? I found these for you. Are these your size, tell me your size?

Mother: Put them back.

(Little girl gives up and leaves them on a nearby table.)

Little girl: Mom, how old are you? Tell me how old are you? Do you think those panties are for young people? Are you not young??

The mother is so embarrassed that its evident on her face now which is slowly turning red.

I left because I was about to burst into laughter and didn't want to embarrass the poor lady more.


My Mother relayed this as the most mortifying moment for her. My sister and I are both redheads while our parents are both brunettes. When people would ask where we got our red hair, my Dad, one time, jokingly said, The Milk Man!

One day, my mother was walking out of the grocery store with my sister and I when I was 6 or 7 yrs old. An elderly woman approached and struck up a discussion with my mother. At one point, she asks where we got our beautiful red hair and (you guessed it) without missing a beat, I blurted out, The MILK MAN!

The rest of the conversation was really awkward and Mom said that she couldn't leave that place fast enough. Out of the mouths of babes!

David Snider

Thank goodness this one wasn't my kid. It's just a kid I saw yesterday.

We were in a crowded little shop and there was a mother pushing a preschooler in a cart. She stopped to get something out of her purse. The child brightened visibly and shouted, Are we going to play hide-things-in-your-bag again?

Amorette Dye

Article Source

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.