Parents Share The Secrets Their Kids Think They Don't Know

Parents may sometimes act like they have no clue, but they know everything about their little ones. In this article, parents share secrets about their children that they think they are hiding well!

[Sources can be found at the end of the article]


The wife and I went on vacation for a few days and left our son at home. He was old enough and responsible...

Came home to the yard being mowed, the flower beds cleaned out with the roses trimmed (Cut to the base. Luckily they recovered.) Some of the furniture in the house moved slightly.

I didn't think much of it until I was sitting on the porch and a neighbor kid came along and couldn't WAIT to tell me about the party he had with ALL THE PEOPLE!!!!

The house was still standing and he owned up to the whole thing, so he didn't get a hard time over it (Except the roses)…

ExFiler

That the reason we had to fork out over 3k in repairs on our truck was because my oldest took it mudding when he was 16. Wet, soupy, sloppy mud and it messed up the drive shaft and other things. He has no idea I know, but his partner in crime's dad told me. This wasn't an old truck, either. Dinged the paint job, too. He's 26 now and I'm saving the reveal for when I'm old and he wants to put me in a home.

katgib13

My 13-year-old daughter has a kindle account on crest card. She sticks to her budget but doesnt know I get the emailed receipts of what she buys. In public she has very cool taste. But in the middle of the night, she secretly binges on hello kitty.' She would be mortified if she found out I know.

lowhangingfruitcake

My 9-year-old thinks she has a secret candy stash. In reality I don't call her on that and other small things so she doesn't put effort into getting better at lying to me.

UglyWeirdo

My 14 year old seems to have developed an interest in storing his spent seed. The second drawer from the bottom in his chest of drawers is about a quarter filled with mini ziplocs of semen. Just obscene amounts of teenage semen. Since I end up doing most of his laundry, I surprised he didn't imagine I'd find it. He made a cursory effort to hide it in a bag in the corner of the drawer, but, as you know, gym shorts always lead to truth in the end. Quite frankly, I have no desire to engage him on the subject. As long as he remains healthy and productive in this area of his life, I'm alright letting him be so in this one.

IneffableAndEngorged

I know my 20-year-old daughter runs a successful blog writing smutty fan-fiction. I know she also wants a sterilisation as she doesn't want kids. I know my 24-year-old son sometimes hops on his motorbike without leathers against our strong advice. I know my 18- year-old daughter is being cheated on by her boyfriend but she won't leave him so we'll support her when she needs it. I know my 13-year-old daughter's dream of being a game developer will never come to fruition but we're going to help her aim for achieving it however we can.

I think I know my kids far too well.

Andraste_Blaze 

My 9-year-old stepson is ridiculously smart and gay. I saw him kissing a boy and told my wife about it but she asked him and he said it wasn't true the kid was just whispering in his ear. Sure, buddy... I know what I saw and I don't care. Be as gay as you want to be... this world is cold and messed up and as long as you live in my house you will have no worries.

shewshoe

Im a huge Harry Potter fan and my oldest pretends to love Harry Potter. Hes 10 years old. He and his friend made up a secret code language (that I found the key for) and I read a note from his friend that said I dont know why you dont like Harry Potter and I dont think I ever will. Your friend, —"

trishydishy

That my oldest is jealous of my middle kid. My middle kid is kind of a natural beauty. Its not that my oldest isnt beautiful but people remark on my middle daughter more. I saw it written in her journal that she was jealous. I saw it by accident cleaning up so I just try to make sure she knows she is beautiful too but that it also isnt everything. A beautiful heart is far more important.

sparkleplentylikegma

My 8 year old son is obsessed with Lamborghini's and other fancy sports cars. My husband and I were out alone and saw one in person. I can't tell him about it, he would be so disappointed. At least not until he's seen one in person.

tinnat22

I'm raising my youngest sister (19 year age difference.) She's 16 right now, and I know far more about her porn habits than I'm comfortable with. She forgot to close out the tabs on her phone browser when it was having issues and she asked me to fix it. On the plus side; I'm fairly certain I don't have to worry about her ending up pregnant.

ahmedsaab

My daughter (9 last year) took guitar lessons last year and I was looking on her phone for a picture she took of something (I was allowed). I found a video she took of herself playing a song. I sent it to myself so I could have it, but she never said anything so I didn't either. I just think it's so cute but don't want to embarrass her.

Spazmer

Their internet history. My eldest firmly believes clearing his browser history will erase his typical teenage boy internet searches. It does not because I force proxy everyone on my network through a filter (I'm not censoring anything, it's just to block nefarious sites and ads.) I just choose to ignore it because I was a teenage boy once too.

zerbey 

I saved a letter I found in the trash can that my daughter had written. She was mad about something I didn't let her do and in the letter she called me a whole lot of nasty words. She was probably 12 or 13 at the time. I've been hanging on to it for a while to wait on the right time to bring it back out. Maybe when she goes to college or something.

voodoo_zero 2

That my son is WAY smarter than he let's on. He wants to do the minimum amount of work required so puts in mistakes and purposely tests lower than he should so he doesn't get challenging work or put up grades. I'm letting it slide for now as it's his first year of school, he is years ahead of his peers and I'm happy for him to work on social skills as long as he is meeting the basics academically. Next year I'll start coming down hard on his work ethic.

QuixoticQueen

My son is 6 and lets just say, I wouldn't be surprised to find out he might be gay. I have already correctly predicted he was ADD. Im honestly pretty excited if he turns out gay. Even though I'd be sad to not have any biological grand-babies. I've always let him be who he wants.

HappyHappyUnbirthday 

My daughter is three, but she still wears pull-ups to bed to prevent any nightly accidents. I heard her rustling in the pantry last week and asked her what she was doing, she of course said "nothing Daddy." We start walking down the hall to her bedroom and I hear a bag hit the ground, turn around and it is a fruit snack package. I knew her game was up at that point and I asked her where that came from, she said, "I don't know Daddy." I smiled and helped her into bed, hearing more crackling. I asked her if she had any more fruit snacks and she looked at me and thought about fibbing again, but said, "yes Daddy" and pulled three more fruit snack packages from her diaper. I stopped myself from cracking up and confiscated the contraband and kissed her goodnight.

rezell

I built platform beds for my teen sons. One of their bedrooms was next to mine. Every once in a while I'd hear something SLAM in the middle of the night. Finally figured it out. I checked when they went to school the next day, found the screws holding the platform down to be stripped. Lifted it up... snacks and adult videos.

ImGumbyDamnIt 

My 9-year-old daughter does all kinds of things she thinks I don't know about. She'll take extra long getting her bag ready for school, after she has asked me if she can bring her Littlest Pet Shop stuff to school, and I say no. She walks out with her backpack on and I say, "Take your toys out of your bag." This kind of stuff happens a few times/month.

Absolute BEST thing was after I had done this about 3 times in a week, she says to me, "UGH! MOM! HOW DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW?!" Glorious victory.

jenzthename 

The reading-homework timer makes exactly the same sound if you press and hold the reset button as it does if it runs out naturally. He doesn't know I'm keeping my own track of the time he spends reading. So far he's only skimmed a handful of minutes here and there, so as it is, I'm letting it slide while I try to think of a devastating way to let him know I'm on to him.

AgedAardvark

My son and daughter are posting political diatribes on the nets under pseudonyms hoping to influence key people in government. It's actually working because some of their stuff gets picked up by the press. They have no clue that I know. Sometimes I like to mention one of their articles at breakfast and either agree or disagree just to watch their reactions.

soawesomejohn

My 5-year-old daughter thought she could get away with some shenanigans today. She's in her room making some crafts because Mom just bought her colored paper and a pack of 16,000 crayons. I'm in my room on the computer with my back facing the bedroom door. She walks in, "Hi Daddy." I keep staring at the computer screen, "Hey Honey." at this point she pats my head several times and says, "Nice Daddy," almost referring to me as a dog (like when kids pat a puppy and say "Nice puppy"). Then she turns and leaves.

After a few seconds I realized what she had done and reached up to feel the hair on my head.

Glue, glue everywhere.

shm3nt

When we were kids we'd go to the cottage every weekend, but as we got older my sister and I started staying home (we'd have friends over and just have a good time.) My dad always wanted to know which friends would stay over, so we had to give him sort of a list, maybe he was calling the other parents just to make sure they were ok with it, not too sure. One weekend, I decided to tag along with the parents and my sister stayed behind. She was having one girl friend over. Her friend (we'll call her Rose) was given the ok to sleep in my bed since I wasn't there.

My dad sneakily left a note under my pillow and it said "have a nice weekend Rose." When we got back, my dad went straight for my bedroom and found the note, untouched and no one ever mentioned it. And this is how my father's suspicions were confirmed: Rose was more than a friend and my sister was gay.

MrZorrow

I'm told my daughter (6 years old) that when she lies her ears go red (They don't). Now, when she is lying, she covers them. Alternatively, I'll say Nothing, and she will ask if they are red.

askdale 

She's completely made up getting pregnant at 8 and giving birth to twins at age 9. At first it was a boy and a girl. Now it's two girls. She supposedly carried twins to term and gave birth completely unaided with no one ever noticing she was pregnant. One died and was buried and she gave the other to her friend (also 9). She's never said any of this to me but she's told her therapist, friends, and teachers. Her "proof" is a few new purple stretch marks on her hips (she's now 13) from her body changes from puberty. 

She states her first menstrual period was the Christmas she turned 11. She has a bad working memory so her stories always change. She's had a lot of trauma so apparently she's started to make up elaborate stories to regain control this summer. She's currently our foster daughter but we have had her since she was 11 and hope to adopt her in the spring. Needless to say, we have to pick our battles with her. We're really working on trust and critical thinking skills. If nothing else, hopefully she'll grow out of this or at least be able to make up more consistent and logical stories.

LameONameO

I know how many times he has had parties while I have been out (almost all my neighbors are military veterans who have a pretty sharp eye for cars that don't belong on our street).

I know how hurt he was to lose his first girlfriend.

I know where his pot stashes are.

I know he has developed a taste for whiskey.

Despite his efforts to be flat and aloof, I know him to be of great empathy and deep introspection.

And the most deeply personal one, during an argument I had made a comment to him once that I know he has seen my own character flaws and that I am no longer the hero I was in his boyhood. Later that night I overheard him tell my girlfriend that that wasn't entirely true.

CrowdsourcedSarcasm

I tell my kids stories every night at bed time. When I'm out of town I record them and send them across so they can listen in their beds.

Being spoiled, they each have an iPad they use to listen to them.

Being pretty young, they somehow don't realize I know how to use an iPad better than them. They each have the same 'recorder' app I used to record the clips so they can play them back, and they think I'll never find the other stuff they record in there.

Being awesomely sweet kids, they have recorded a series of their own stories on the down low for me to listen to at some point. I don't know when they started doing it but it's super cute. I just started listening to what looked like a random clip the other day when I heard them conspiring on the tape to keep it a secret. I stopped at that point. My wife claims to know nothing about it.

It may be a Christmas present or something. Either way I'll be happy one day when they surprise me with their stories.

billbapapa

(Source 1, 2)

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo