Parents Who Tragically Cut Ties With Their Kids Reveal Why They Had To Do It.
There are a few reasons in the unfortunate case where a parent has their ties cut from their kid. It could be their child has gone too far down a dark road, or maybe the other parent has sabotaged the relationship, or maybe something else out of anyone's control.
Below are stories of parents who cut ties with their kids, and what happened as a result. Check them out. A source to even more stories can be found on the last page.
Cheap and easy to obtain heroin was the beginning of the end. Twice he robbed me of all my possessions - even my car, one 8-month stint in state jail during which I visited with his daughter every weekend and upon release I brought him home only to be robbed again. Three failed attempts in recovery centres after which he and his girlfriend abandoned their children leaving them with me for 4 years with no contact of any kind. At 32 years old, he is now unable to remain out of the county jails for more than a week at a time. I'm done.
My son's paranoid schizophrenia symptoms are triggered by my presence. As a father I wish with every breath that I could talk to him and hug him but he's better off without me around. It's the same whether he's medicated or not. I only wish I could make him understand or feel like he understands why I'm not in his life.
When I married my husband he already had two older children that lived with their mother. My husband and I ended up having two kids of our own. While my oldest was an infant, my step-children moved in with us and that's when everything started. They caused so many problems for us. I'm talking heavy drugs, sneaking out and getting arrested, you name it. The older of the two called CPS twice and made up lies about me being abusive. As a new mom the investigations were terrifying, but in the end they found their claims to be false. The final straw of them living with us was when we got wind of them pissing off the wrong crowd and the possibility of our home getting "shot up". Their dad sent them to live with their mother.
I'll jump to when the actual cut off happened, but keep in mind we had an endless amount of horrible incidents with them over the years, and we tried to help them countless times. They were both in their 20s at this point. Essentially, we discovered they were stealing from my side of the family. They robbed my sister of her fine jewelry, and took what we totalled to be around $25K from three family members. Beyond that, they had a drug operation going on in a family member's summer cottage (the family member didn't know they were even there as he lived elsewhere most of the time). When confronted by their dad, they blew up. They said some of the most hateful things I've ever heard, and spit in his face. That was it for us. They took advantage of people that love them very much and had no remorse for it.
I'm the father in question. I have three kids, two daughters and one son. They're all adults. I got married at 20 and we had them one after another. For years, my wife and I blamed ourselves about how my youngest girl turned out.
Being so young, right out of community college, I wasn't making a lot, so I did the best I could. But we wonder if it was nutrition or the place we stayed in or something that made her be born with severe bipolar disorder.
We didn't know what it was at first. She was really difficult. We tried our best to raise her well. By the time we figured out what was wrong with her, she had set in really bad behaviors.
As of two years ago, she refused to take her medications, was sleeping around with whoever would shoot her up with drugs, stealing money, and generally being really difficult.
We told her to leave and never comeback. Tried to get her into a state mental place but it wasn't an option. So we just closed our doors and moved shortly after. Honestly don't know what happened to her since. I tell people I only have two kids.
I gave my son up for adoption at birth. I was broke, jobless, homeless, was about to kick his dad out, and even if I could find a job, I had no one that would watch my then 18-month old and a newborn while I worked. We had a great apartment, a happy relationship, and great jobs when we decided to try for another baby. Things went south really fast and I couldn't think of anything else I could do for my kids than to give the baby to parents that could take care of him they way he deserved straight from the start and fight like hell to claw my way out of the hole I was in and give my other kid a better life too. So I did it, I gave him up to wonderful, amazing people. Six weeks later I was cleared to work and miraculously got a job. Saved for a year and moved myself, my toddler, and my kid's dad out of that town. Years and years later I'm doing very well, I stuck to my promise that it would be worth it.
Anyways, I haven't talked to him. I got letters from his mom for a while, always with pictures, but not anymore. I never responded to them or wrote him. I've heard horror stories about adoptees contacting their birth parents and discovering they were utter crap and they were better off without knowing what happened to their birth parents. I was worried that me contacting them would complicate his life in ways he didn't need. They are wonderful people. I would rather live in pain, heartbreak, and uncertainty than intrude in their happiness. I want to know him more than anything in the world, but if he doesn't, I'll stay right here, away, quietly making good on my promise to him that it would be right and worth it and that I would never again be in that spot. He would be 15 now.
Matthew, if you are reading this, I love you. Forever and always, my baby you'll be.
Parental alienation. My husband walked away from his daughter because her mother did everything in her power to prevent or destroy any semblance of a father - daughter relationship. Lots of mind games, lying, passive-aggressive behavior and character assassination. We didn't have the money for a lawyer or family to lend money to us; we're on our own. Every single court-ordered visit was a battle with the mom and it was so hard on his little girl. In the end, my husband felt it was best if daughter (she was 4 by then) was adopted by her stepfather as he seemed like a decent guy and figured he would be raising both mom and daughter. Only for the mom to repeat the process with him three years and two more kids later.
I can only imagine what sorts of lies the daughter has been told about her bio father. She's 15 now. Someday we hope to reconnect, away from her mother's influence.
My husband's oldest daughter is not part of our lives at this point. We basically discovered that everything she ever said was a lie.
She got involved with a younger guy that's a real jerk. He's horrible to her and her daughters. She called the police on him, kicked him out, said she was never going to see him again. We made it clear that he would not be allowed around us or the other kids for any reason.
She says she's pregnant. She goes on a rant about how she pays her bills and takes care of her girls. The whole time, I'm thinking "I paid your gas so it wouldn't get shut off, I am apparently the only one attempting to feed your kids something other than marshmallows, and I'm the only one that ever expects them to behave." Not to mention the million times I've cleaned caked on dirt from their feet or necks because she won't bathe them properly.
Anyways, a day or two later she asks for a ride. I ask who/when/where. She wants us to give her ex that has already moved back in with her a ride to the store. I reminded her that we're not doing anything for him ever. I pointed out that it's pretty disrespectful of our wishes to try to force him on us.
She threw a tantrum, he threw a tantrum. Told us get over it or don't speak to her and the grandbabies again. I told her I'm not having that abusive piece of crap around her siblings. She can either respect that or move on without us.
She chose the abuser. We've ran into them driving around town a few times. The guy will literally hang out the window of the car screaming, making faces, and flipping us off every time. They act like they're still 12. I miss my grandchildren, but I don't miss their mother.
I don't love her, she doesn't love me and we have nothing in common. I'll tell the story, with all names changed.
When I was 22 I met a beautiful woman who was in half my college classes but was a mature student. When Ella was younger, she'd given birth to a daughter Anna. By the time Ella and I moved in together Anna was already 15.
It was like having a roommate, Anna was a great kid and all that jazz, but she wasn't interested in spending all that much time with some random man. Then three years later she moved out and I became the random ex-roommate who covers her tuition.
People seem to think it's a tragedy, but we don't dislike each other, we're just not interested in contacting each other. We both love Ella and sometimes we happen to be spending time with her at the same time like when Anna comes home for Christmas.
When I married Ella I promised to take care of Anna, I don't regret that, but my care falls mostly on the financial side although I went to every game she had and every teacher conference, we just failed to bond. She's more like a distant cousin than a daughter.
I had a daughter when I was fairly young. I married her mother and spent a few hellish years with her until divorce became necessary. We agreed to split custody so long as she received full physical custody. It made sense under three circumstances.
Within a few years, it became obvious my volatile ex wife was just poisoning our daughter with absurd lies and to some extent, no doubt, her family as well. My kid became distant and then anxious around me. Her mom began to move an awful lot and it (eventually) became undeniable that she was intentionally "hiding" from me.
I tracked her down on Christmas 2013 at a house her father directed me towards. She was livid that I showed up to say Merry Christmas and drop off gifts for my daughter and her younger sister. My daughter looked at me like a complete stranger, even frightened. They were never home when I tried to visit after this and soon moved again. Realized no contact was available to me.
Her mom called me front her mother's number months after and asked for a large sum of cash to pay for "school stuff". It was April i think. I asked her where my daughter was before I agreed to anything and she got angry and hung up. I stopped trying, I guess.
My stepson is a mess; my husband and his ex-wife divorced when he was 18 months old, and mom had done whatever she could to cut dad completely out of his life-until stepson was eight-when she showed up at our door with stepson in tow and his bags. She said she couldn't handle him anymore, all he would do was fight with his siblings; so if we didn't take him then she was going to take him to the children's home. Of course my husband was excited to finally spend time with his son, and he would get to bond with his little half brother who was four at the time and step sister who was 10.
It became apparent very quickly that he had been fed lie after lie about his dad-he would gleefully share very detailed stories about the "abuse" that he remembered that he and his mom suffered at the hands of my husband. Stepson was in therapy, but really started escalating dangerous behaviors; my daughter would wake up in the middle of the night with him standing over her saying "next time you'll never wake up;" so we put a lock on her door-which he broke through with ease, we put a deadbolt on her door-he broke the door frame trying to get to her.
His little brother would walk by and he would kick him as hard as he could, he bit him until he would draw blood. That for me was the last straw. He needed more help that what his therapist or we could do for him. The next day child services was contacted and he was removed from our home.
A few weeks later CPS gave us pages and pages of psychological evaluations that his mom had on him. Pages of her blaming dad for each of his issues, lies that he had beat him; although there were statements from doctors that had clearly outlined that mom and her family had some seriously undiagnosed mental issues. There was so much information that would have been helpful before he came to live with us. I would never tell my husband that he cannot see his son, but his son is never allowed around my children-I made that promise to them both, and I hate that my husband is in the middle; but for our safety-I've cut off any contact with my stepson.
My 33-year-old daughter chose drugs and party life over her husband and two boys. Hasn't seen her boys in four years. They're only 7 and 5. The oldest remembers her; the youngest does not. I've been dealing with her darkness since she was in 4th grade. Took her to countless therapists in her youth; she convinced them all she was fine. I tried to help her through probation and rehab again last year in the hopes of reuniting her with her boys. Nothing legal to keep her from these boys. She chose drugs. I'm done.
Never realized what an epidemic this has become until I started talking to people who are dealing with the same thing with loved ones. It's definitely messed up.
He is going to be out of jail later this month.
I don't want him to come home. He has drug and alcohol issues, and can not be trusted not to steal. He has been through at least six arrest cases since he was a teen. Generally, because he was from a good family, he has gotten off easy. He has been in jail for the last year for stealing cars. I know he wants to come home, and try to right everything, but when he lived at home in the past, it was all just too much. Selling drugs, committing assaults, stealing cars.
I love my son, but unless he can go down to the halfway house, drug/alcohol redemption process, and not steal anymore, I just am not comfortable with him at home.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: