People admit to things they saw that they definitely weren't supposed to
You know when you want to retroactively cover your eyes, but it's way too late? Yeah, these people understand the feeling. If that's ever been you, you can hopefully find some solace in this article, knowing that you're definitely not alone.
Thanks to everyone who contributed their stories. If you would like to check out more, be sure to check out the sources at the end of this article. Comments have been edited for clarity.
My dad's bank account balance when I was around 12. I stopped asking for things after that.
So, I'm fresh out of school and taking a gap year before starting university. I'd managed to get a job working for the USAF at an airbase in the UK.
About two AM on this particular night in early 1988, the runway lights that are normally off come on briefly, for perhaps 30 seconds, then go off. That's when I hear something clearly landing on the runway, and off to the right of the runway, one of the larger hangars opens its doors. In the pitch black, the light from that hangar is quite spectacular. That's when I see it, a small black triangular aircraft rolls straight into that hangar and within seconds the doors close behind it.
This was my honest thought when I saw that, "I was DEFINITELY not supposed to have seen that." I put my cigarette, (hey, I was young and dumb), out and walked back into my building.
A few weeks later we got our first pictures of the F-117 Nighthawk followed by a confirmation it existed. I smiled a little and thought to myself, "Already knew about that..."
As a middle schooler, I picked up a book at the library, flipped through the pages and found an application for a replacement birth certificate for some old man. It had every detail about his personal identification on it, so naturally I took it home thinking, "I'll just hold onto this in case I ever need to assume a fake identity by pretending to be an 80 year old man and flee the country."
My mom found it and had to explain to me that no, we don't steal people's identities.
I was working part-time at a library for a school subject. One day, they made me enter the data for new books into the library's computer system. As I worked, I did something, (don't know what), that made Windows Outlook display onto the PC screen, along with some e-mails by the librarian's director to my teacher and to the other librarians. The e-mails basically said that I was really good at my job and very hard-working, and that the collaboration would be very beneficial both for me and them.
I wasn't supposed to read those messages, but they made me feel really happy.
When I started a new job, someone had left a bunch of HR files on the computer I was given. I opened one up, not sure what it was, and I got to see every employee's salary in the company. Even the CEO. The next day, it was gone. My boss realized his mistake and logged in to my system and deleted the files.
It was a memorable experience.
I went to visit grandma and grandpa. The front door was locked so I went around through the back and found them gardening, totally naked.
Freshman year of college, I walk into the kitchen area late at night and there's my girlfriend sitting on the counter....making out with one of my good friends. I just left quietly without them noticing and cut off all contact with both of them. So, pretty sure I wasn't supposed to see that.
I saw them both together about 20 years later at Costco, so I guess it worked out for them.
When I was 14, a friend hosted a birthday party at his house with all the parents invited. I needed to use the restroom but the main one was occupied, so my friend told me I can use the one in his mom's bedroom. As I walked up to the door I could hear somebody in there, so I decided to wait until whoever was in there was finished. A good 10 minutes later, my friends mom, (who was hosting the party), and another good friends step-father walk out and see me standing there, all confused. They asked what I was doing there, and I just said I was waiting to use the bathroom. Surprisingly, they played it cool and just said I can use it now and walked off.
I used to work nights at a manufacturing plant. I went to the bathroom one night, picked out my favorite stall and sat on the toilet to spend the next 10 minutes contemplating life. After a few minutes, a male janitor walked in and started cleaning the bathroom. Another minute later, another male janitor came in to help. They were talking to each other in Spanish and then started kissing near the sinks, not realizing anyone was in the bathroom. I just sat there silently for a while, not knowing what to do. After another minute or two of heavy kissing between the two, I decided to make a few noises so that they knew they weren't alone. My toilet seat creaked when I moved. They both stopped their romance session, looked at my stall, giggled, and ran out of the bathroom, leaving all of their cleaning stuff behind. I quickly cleaned up, flushed and ran out. I actually never saw those same janitors again.
I was about 8 or 9 and my parents were going to be out of town, so they had me and siblings stay with a family from our church. Once we got to the house, (which was really nice by the way), they had one rule, you can play wherever you want but the basement is off limits. Me being the little turd that I was, snuck down there first chance I got, and was supremely disappointed to only find rows and rows of plants growing under lights.
A long time friend of mine's dad was showing me pics of a car he was restoring. He accidentally pulled up nude pics of my friend's mom instead. He looked awkward for a minute. He never said anything and then just started looking at car pics like it never happened.
I learned at 6 that Santa was not really bringing me presents when I had my door cracked open on Christmas Eve and saw my dad and my cat wrestling with a present that my dad was trying in vain to get out of my cat's clutches. The scratches down his arm the next morning confirmed that it wasn't a dream. Sassy never took crap from anyone, though.
My 6-year-old cousin asked me if I wanted some chewing gum. I said sure, if she has some. She then goes to her mother's purse and takes out two packages of condoms and asks me: What do you want, strawberries or banana?
Next thing I know, I'm shoving Durex packages in her mother's purse saying, "We should firstly ask your mom before going through her things". So the kid doesn't stop here, she takes the purse, goes in the kitchen where all the family was reunited and asked her mother: Mom, can I have some gum?" Her mom says she doesn't have any. The freakin' girl takes the condoms out of the purse and says: Sure you do, I want the strawberries ones please.
Imagine her mother's embarrassment...
When I was about 4 or 5 years old I watched Eddie Murphy: Raw in its entirety, around the corner from the living room, while my parents were watching it. I was super quiet and they were laughing their butts off so they didn't notice. I learned all sorts of cool new words!
I saw an employees check stub that he dropped. He had been there for a month and was making what I made after my first year and was not a very good worker. I got a raise.
About 9 years ago, there were a couple of notes scattered across the computer desk in my parents' study. I happened to read them because words are in front of my face, what am I gonna do?
They were notes my parents had written each other instead of just talking to each other.
Because my dad had slept with 14 women.
Ben Affleck's social security number.
Years ago I was working for a company that I could access different departments' server files in. I was bored one day and was poking through those files to see what else the company had going on. I found a contract for a production deal with Ben Affleck, and his SSN was included, (for payroll purposes). I closed the file because I knew I should not have been looking at that, even if it was accessible.
No, I didn't retain it or remember it. No, I would not do anything with it if I did. I don't care about his personal life.
Around 2000, I was working for a large business that makes telecom/networking equipment, managing an internal project.
The holiday comes around, and most everyone is off doing their thing. I am in the office being Busy Beaver Exempt Employee.
I encounter a problem pushing a very large binary blob to another site, and while troubleshooting, notice that there's some seriously high network usage happening across the switch, from one particular machine.
Now, I have a Local Administrator on all the machines in my department, so I log on to this machine, to find out why someone has set up an Against-Policy VPN tunnel. We're all IT/Programmer types, but we have proprietary IP sitting on machines, (we're under NetSec), and can't have people remoting in to these machines or whatnot.
Oh, hey, this guy is running Limewire off his freakin' userlevel account! That's not good, what is this guy thinking, why can't he be a professional. So, we're going to have to write this guy up …
Let me just have a look at what pirated music and movies this …
— one of the functions of my job was to carry "The BatPhone", which had a direct line to an FBI office, because our corporate was pretty big on turning network intrusions into Federal cases wherever possible, and if the FBI wanted something, the FBI got it, warrant not required.
The guy had brought in a case of burned CDs full of really horrible types of adult films, and was distributing it off our network, via Limewire.
I missed dinner that night, and had to keep what was happening from my wife for about a week before they finally arrested him, which put a strain on our relationship.
But that guy got sent off for a long time.
Saw a Homer Simpson keychain in my mom's desk drawer. Didn't say anything.
Two weeks later its in my Christmas stocking and she goes "Wow, how did Santa know how much you like the Simpsons".
Thats how I figured out Santa must've been sleeping with my mom.
Thanks for reading!
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: