People Confess How Their New Year Is Already An Epic Fail

New Years Resolutions are infamous for not sticking.

But we're getting an early start on 2018 going down the drain.  Reddit user TheGreatMane asked:

It's only the 2nd, what happened to f*** up your year already?

Here are some of the year-sinking answers.

Career Down

Pretty sure I'm fired from my job. Had to call out the last week because of bronchitis and when I called in today, they told me we "have to have a talk" when I get back. So, there goes that new year's positivity. KickingAroundANewOne

Sacrifice For Naught

Well I just started a new job and moved across the country away from all my friends to be with my girlfriend of almost 6 years. She just broke up with me. So that's nice. hotsaucefish

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Penniless In The Pacific

My bank decided they don't do wire transfers through secure email anymore. they want me to please 'step into my nearest branch' to fill out the forms. But I moved to the Philippines. The nearest branch is over 7000 miles away! ChasTheGreat

Coon Con

Was attacked by a raccoon while taking out the trash. YourAverageJoe34

School Vacay

A class at a school in my neighborhood that I was registered for was cancelled. I needed it to fulfill a credit requirement for financial aid and now I have to travel back and forth on two buses, two nights a week to a remote campus that offers a comparable class in the dead of winter that ends at 10:30pm. Its going to be a long cold next couple of months for me. Shaolin816

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Petty Case

Had (and lost) a trial. Judge was pissed at me because the case was petty as f*** and a waste of the court's time (not an inaccurate description); client was pissed at me because "I lost" her sh*tty petty case. superdago

Which Is Worse?

Roommate got arrested for driving with an expired tag, he still owes me $160 for last months rent and bills, he'll probably get fired from both his jobs, being unable to make his shifts.

Also, I have the flu. Spock_Savage

BRRRR!

Ran out of heating oil yesterday, no deliveries available until Saturday. In Maine. SolitudeStands

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Happy New...Year?

My wife and I did a super chill NYE celebration with a couple of friends, and because I've been sleeping really poorly lately I was SO tired by the time we hit midnight. So around 12:30 there's still a lot of conversation going on, but I finally caved and fell asleep on the couch while everyone else was still talking.

Wife wakes me up just before 1 so we can go to bed, and I groggily go pee before getting in bed. As I start peeing, I feel a good ole fashioned headrush coming on. Except it doesn't pass, it just keeps getting worse and my vision gets more and more tunnely, and I feel my heart beating SUPER hard. All of a sudden I'm on the bathroom floor and have no idea why I'm there, or why I have a knot on my head.

Turns out I had a case of micturition syncope, literally a severe drop in blood pressure caused by peeing while really tired haha. I'm 26 and take really good care of myself, so it was a little strange considering this is most common in older men, but once my wife and friends verified I was OK the jokes just started relentlessly flooding in.

So yeah. Literally the first thing that happened to me in 2018 was fainting in the bathroom mid-piss. ttothesecond

No Keys

My husband lost his car keys so I gave him mine to use until found his (we only have one car). Then the idiot lost my keys too and now I have no way to get his dead ass body out of my house. Natloumac1

Happy New Car

Went to get my car in the morning of the 1st after taking an uber back to my hotel. It wasn't where I parked it so a friend rushed me around town to the tow yards and couldn't find it. The police didn't have record of it being towed either. I started panicking because I had a wedding to go to and left my suit in the car.

I then remembered I had moved my car before I started drinking so it wouldn't get towed. Had an embarrassing ride to find my car safe and sound where I had left it. UrethraFranklin42

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Auld Lang Ouch

Was doing pull-ups to get back in shape (at home on a door-frame bar).... Pull-up bar broke off my door frame and I slammed my knee into the ground when it fell. So much for being healthy. Senorferrrree

Blinded By The Light

I went partially blind, so that was a great start.

Had to do some gardening I'd been putting off for ages, didn't pay attention to my unfit body telling me I was overdoing it, and then just suddenly lost part of my vision in my left eye.

It came back after a few hours, but that was really sobering, and I'm just hoping it doesn't happen again. 3226

Frozen In Time

Couple of my friends decided to be idiots and got us kicked out of the bar we were at, at 11:55. Was stuck outside mad and freezing my ass off at -35 when the new year countdown happened. Technically it was still 2017 but I'm counting it. 1SensFan

Dead Cold

10AM on the 1st. I had just spent the New Year alone for the first time ever at a little truck stop in who-the-hell-cares, Delaware. I got out of my truck to go inside and use the bathroom, brush my teeth, etc. I took two steps and stopped. Fuck, I forgot my key. Maybe I left the door unlocked. Nope. Well, good thing I keep a spare in my back pock... where is my spare!? Shit! It must have fallen out when I kicked off my jeans last night!

I spent the start of my year standing out in 8F weather (-13C) in a light sweater since I didn't think I needed a jacket to cross the parking lot. So I went inside and asked the clerk if he had any phone numbers for local services. He said no, but that they sold a "Universal Lockout" kit I could buy. At $20, it would be cheaper than a service call on a holiday. After what felt like an eternity with my hands practically about to freeze and fall off, I threw everything on the ground and went to Google. I went down the list of local locksmiths/ tow companies until FINALLY one actually picked up their phone. Dude showed up and had the door open in under 2 minutes. Probably the easiest $50 he ever made.

So that was my start to the year. Practically froze to death and threw away $70. Fat_Guy_With_Snacks

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Birthdamned

So, january 1st is my birthday.

My brother in law decided to stay over new years eve with his newborn son and 2 1/2 year old. I have a 3 year old son myself. They all raised hell in my house, destroying toys and making huge messes, the newborn vomits every 20 minutes. My brother in law did nothing. He layed on the couch with his phone and got up to pee and eat the dinner i prepared.

I have not had a more frustrating near 24 hours in a very long time. Thankfully my son returned to normal the moment his cousins and uncle left.

My wife and i went to bed last night and she apologized that i had a terrible birthday. Then she let me know that we are not pregnant again this month, which marks a year and a half of trying. Jamirus2

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Fire(works)

One of my neighbors set off a big box of fireworks in the middle of our street. Two rounds were duds and the box kind of just exploded instead.

It was windy and a rogue spark landed on my jacket. My arm caught on fire for a very brief second. I instinctively put it out with my other arm but not before it burned a hole through my jacket and the skin underneath. ImNotChineseOk

In With A Bang

This happened about 15 minutes ago, was trimming my bangs when my cat pounced on my back. This is a "game" we play when I'm brushing my hair or my teeth, he'll creep up behind me and jump on my back.

I now have very short "baby" bangs. FML, I look like a 5 year old who found the craft scissors for the first time. chingu_not_gogi

Blizzard Of Misfortunes

Student loan for some reason bounced and won't come in. Lost my new job, which I was supposed to start tomorrow. Rent didn't go through so landlord is pissed. Great way to start 2018. officialfoxgrrl

Happy New(rotic) Year

My MIL (Mother In Law) took my cat to the emergency vet on new years eve while I was working over night. She paid for his treatment, which all of that was great, but she's been micromanaging the shit out of my animal's health. She's a very neurotic person, so every time he licks himself she gets concerned. Driving me bananas. And she didn't want to show me the lab results. HoneyBee513

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Despicable You

This is a long one and typed on my phone.

So, I hadn't had contact to my dad for quite a while after he f***ed over the entire family.

I struggled for a while to finish my masters in a STEM field, even got more depressed over it than I wanted to admit and on top of that I knew I had to leave my pretty cheap appartment towards the end of 2017, which I only managed to pay for through a student loan and jobs like giving tutorials or assisting lectures at university.

Knowing it would get tight, I eventually reached out to my rather wealthy dad and asked if I could rent a room at his house if need be. He denied, instead, he offered to pay for a proper apartment for a couple months between finishing degree and picking up job.

So I kept going. A potential flat share that I had in mind didn't work out and due to poor planning on my end I was in trouble. However, dad said I shouldnt worry. So I actually finished my thesis during the holidays in a hostel, handed it in and looked for a new room like a madman, coordinating everything with my dad so he knew what was going on. I found something, everything was fine, I signed a contract and the moment I told him... Nothing. He won't answer the phone. It's only the second and I spent almost all my money on printing the thesis and paying for the hostel in advance, signed a contract that demands me to pay 1100 bucks in deposit and rent by friday and I don't even have enough left for health insurance.

Now I realize why he was adamant about not telling my mother anything. He successfully f***ed me over. Gratz old man, you win.

I won't tell her either, because she would try to help, but she cant handle it financially at this level.

So yeah. I had better starts into new years. And I can only really blame myself for not planning things better. Trusting dad was probably a stupid idea.

Right now, I have no idea what I am going to do :) Disposal3141592653

Screw That

Felt good about filling my tires with air the other day, then yesterday I drove over screw, which got stuck in the tire. Spent nearly $300 on a replacement. JFKsHardTop

The Cold Open

I was awoken very early this morning to the sound of my window cracking and breaking. So that was fun, and hopefully not an omen to how this year is going to be. It's also negative temperatures outside so I probably won't be able to sleep in my bed until it gets fixed because I get cold very easily. But I'm lucky to have the money to fix it and have an amazingly comfy couch to crash on if need be. leslienopes

Baby New Year

It was -11 last night. Our 5 month old is is sick and congested all to hell, to the point she had trouble breathing last night and her lips and fingers turned blue. So we went to the ER at 1030 and spent 5 hours there.

She came back negative for anything. No flu no RSV, nothing. Just congested. Her lungs sound fine, all her vitals are normal besides a temp of 101. She was in a great mood the whole time, it was f***ing ridiculous how she didn't mind being awake that entire time.

On top of this I started a new job 2 months ago, my old insurance ended in the new year. I'm uninsured now, my wife and baby are on her insurance, so we will see just how bad its going to be.  IamtheBiscuit

The Drain

Came home at 2am after a new years eve party.

"Weird, it kind of smells like sh*t down here." (I live in a basement suite).

Search around for a bit to see if the cat sh*t anywhere in the house, seems clean. Search head and toe all around, the place was freshly cleaned , it should be fine.

WELL. I open the door to the bathroom, the entire floor of my shower is covered in sh*t that backed up from the toilet upstairs and through the drain. Not to mention a mix of piss and old shower water that flooded half the floor. After a half hour of being wasted, trying not to touch any of it with my hands, and trying not to throw up I finally managed to get it clean.

My brother is my landlord and he got it fixed today, and thank gahd he did because I haven't being able to poop at shower at home in a day and a half. MeowthThatsRite

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The Cold Open

I was awoken very early this morning to the sound of my window cracking and breaking. So that was fun, and hopefully not an omen to how this year is going to be. It's also negative temperatures outside so I probably won't be able to sleep in my bed until it gets fixed because I get cold very easily. But I'm lucky to have the money to fix it and have an amazingly comfy couch to crash on if need be. leslienopes

Baby New Year

It was -11 last night. Our 5 month old is is sick and congested all to hell, to the point she had trouble breathing last night and her lips and fingers turned blue. So we went to the ER at 1030 and spent 5 hours there.

She came back negative for anything. No flu no RSV, nothing. Just congested. Her lungs sound fine, all her vitals are normal besides a temp of 101. She was in a great mood the whole time, it was f***ing ridiculous how she didn't mind being awake that entire time.

On top of this I started a new job 2 months ago, my old insurance ended in the new year. I'm uninsured now, my wife and baby are on her insurance, so we will see just how bad its going to be.  IamtheBiscuit

The Drain

Came home at 2am after a new years eve party.

"Weird, it kind of smells like sh*t down here." (I live in a basement suite).

Search around for a bit to see if the cat sh*t anywhere in the house, seems clean. Search head and toe all around, the place was freshly cleaned , it should be fine.

WELL. I open the door to the bathroom, the entire floor of my shower is covered in sh*t that backed up from the toilet upstairs and through the drain. Not to mention a mix of piss and old shower water that flooded half the floor. After a half hour of being wasted, trying not to touch any of it with my hands, and trying not to throw up I finally managed to get it clean.

My brother is my landlord and he got it fixed today, and thank gahd he did because I haven't being able to poop at shower at home in a day and a half. MeowthThatsRite

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Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

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My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

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I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

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Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

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How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

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I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

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3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo