People Describe Their Most Memorable Hookup Stories Using Craigslist.
Craigslist is a source for many ridiculous stories, hookup stories being the cream of the crop.
Below are 10 of the best meet up stories from Craigslist. Check them out!
1. That's a plot twist.
I went out to get drinks with a girl I met on craigslist. After about three hours of getting complete trashed together we walk back to my place to have sex. upon walking up the steps she starts to get nervous and once we get to my apartment she is sweating bullets. we get inside my apartment and when I close the door she does this cartoonish 'wipe of brow and exhale.' We have the sex and she leave shortly after.
I don't see her again until I see her coming out of the apartment across from mine with the neighbor where she quickly introduces him to me as her boyfriend.
2. Lesson learned.
My friend sent me the post, it was two girls, looking for two guys to sleep with before they went on vacation with their families. We were really sketched out, but it seemed legit, so we went over. W sat around very awkwardly for a little bit and then things split up into one of the girls bedrooms and the couch. I wore a condom the entire time, but I always have a hard time finishing if I have one on. So brilliant 19 year old me, takes it off and finished. We left.
I got chlamydia.
3. You may only pass this way once.
I met my last girlfriend via "furniture - for sale". I had just moved to a new, larger house and wanted theater seating for my entertainment room. I browsed and saw some pics of chairs I liked, exchanged a few emails, and drove 45 minutes to pick them up. They were being sold by a beautiful girl who originally got them for her ex. Up until I loaded them onto my truck everything was a standard business transaction.
Just as I was leaving I thought "You may only pass this way but once." and in a sheepish way I asked if there were any good places to eat around there and that I was in the mood for sushi. When she shared a nearby place's location, I summoned all the courage I had and asked if she would join me that evening. It happened that she was hungry as well, so she accepted. The rest was history and we both enjoyed telling people that we met by a Craig's List online advertisement, just to see their faces, before we shared the details.
4. And now we're friends!
I was unaware she was married, with two kids and her husband came home halfway into it. I asked who it was, when she informed me it was her husband I felt like crap. So I quickly grabbed some books off a shelf (college books) and started to walk out the door. When the husband asked who I was and what I was doing there, I explained I was getting ready to start my next semester of college and I was there to buy books from her, then I left. A few days later she texted me and...
I asked if she was home, she said no, so I went over there to see if her husband was home because "one of the books was the wrong one" and he was. I gave him the books, along with a letter explaining how I had come to "purchase" the books and in the letter I left my cell number. The man texted me 5 minutes later. I learned he was a soldier (as was I) and he thanked me from the bottom of his heart for telling him and having the respect a soldier should (or anyone should) to tell him of this. Never got a text from the girl again, but me and the guy are now friends.
5. That's an odd one.
I responded to a casual encounters ad, where the girl said she was looking for just some casual fun, hanging out and doing the deed. Normal thing. So I head over there and it's not in the best part of town, but not the worst. I go into her place and we sit on her bed and talk a bit to get rid of the nervousness. She says "I've never done anything like this before" and since I hadn't either we both kind of laughed and then started messing around.
We got naked and she started going down on me then asked me if I wanted to be on top which I obliged. She was a great screw for the record. After I finish, we laid there for a min and then I decided it was time to go so I got up and started to get dressed when she dropped this on me: "So... could I get maybe... like $40 for that?" I was caught completely off guard. So in order to cover my ass and not feel awful, I said I would totally get it, I just had to run to the bank left and since she didn't have my number, only my email, she kept emailing me asking where I was, to which I never replied and went home and went to bed.
I was in Tucson AZ, trying to sort my life out, and I wanted to make new friends, so I posted in the strictly platonic section explaining who I was and that I was looking for a pal or two. After a few days I get some responses and everything seems cool. The 4th response was an attractive female. She was right up my alley, but since it was the platonic section, I wasn't expecting anything to come of it. Anyway, we meet up at the duck pond and we're chatting it up and things are going smooth, almost too smooth. I wasn't even laying groundwork, just being a friendly dude, and she was moving in on me, moving in fast. I say why not, and roll with it, and we end up at her place.
As soon as I walk in, I see terrariums. Seriously, all over her house were tanks of snakes and I'm not talking about a snake enthusiast with around 4-5 pets. Im talking full on snake breeder for the sake of keeping them as her minions and taking over the world.
Anyway we do the deed and it was hardly enjoyable considering I was watching all around me for her to command the boas to hold me down so she could rip my head off and feed me to her friends. As I lay there and say its getting late and I should roll out, I hear someone coming into the apartment, so I ask her if she has a roommate.
"No, well yes... Sorta"
In a moment I've got my shoes in my hands and my shirt slung over my shoulder, bolting for the window when she says this:
"No no, its not what you think."
I relax a little bit, hoping to hear her say it was her brother or some other relative, as long as they wouldn't hurt me for banging the snake queen.
"Its my ex-boyfriend, we split up a week ago, and we decided to...
Stay living together"
I'm crapping myself. I head again for the window when this burly lumberjack beast of a bear man walks right into the room, and continues to the bathroom to get something, all the while I'm standing there in my boxers with my pants around my ankles and my shirt over my shoulder.
He emerges from the bathroom about 5 seconds later with one hand behind is back and I'm sure its all over, but I'm frozen solid with fear and can't move an inch. He speaks:
I respond "H-h-hey"
He advances toward me and the chick is freaking out about her snakes like "Don't hurt my babies Chad!! You be careful in here!" and he pulls from behind his back the metal curtain rod he ripped from the wall in the bathroom. I boogie. I dash for the window as quick as you can with your pants around your ankles and try to crawl out. He swings that rod and whips it over my butt just as I fall out into the yard.
I throw my shoes on and pull my pants up with a speed comparable to that of Captain Falcon. I jump fences until I don't recognize where I am or how long I've been running. I call my sister from a payphone and get her to pick me up.
Never using Craigslist to meet people again.
7. Run, Forrest, run!
This isn't exactly Craigslist related, but still a funny story. Back before widespread internet usage, I used a website bulletin board and met local people that way. On there, I met a girl playing a door game. We got to chatting and we agreed to meet. This was a scary thing (but I didn't know it) as I was only 14 and this was in 1994.
We arranged to meet at the local mall, in the arcade. I show up early and wait. She told me she was 17 and pillowy. The girl did have a shining online personality, so I decided to go ahead and talk to her. We walked around the mall for a bit and she said she wanted to get some food. She literally got 9 things from Taco Bell and didn't offer to get me anything. After watching her gorge herself, she pulled out her wallet.
She showed me her drivers license and confessed that she was actually 26. After the drivers license she showed me business cards from bondage places and sex stores and said she liked to shop there. I was getting scared. She asked if I wanted to see her car. I was thinking alright, maybe she's got a nice car and well, that will be a good way to get out of this situation, we'll be in the parking lot and I can say I have to go.
She's parked WAY out and her car is a beat up old Ford Escort or something like that... different color doors, a real piece of crap. I was like, "Is that really your car?" She said "do you want to see the inside?" I said "I can see it from here," and then she said "do you want to see the back seat?" I ran as fast as I could from her and hid behind a dumpster until my dad picked me up an hour and a half later.
8. Suddenly, cops.
Several years ago I was bored and horny so I looked on the casual ads and found one for a decent looking girl, close to my age, and not looking for anything serious. I email her and she replies back quickly. She sends her number so I call and we chat a bit. We set a time for me to come have some beers at her place, which is about 20 minutes from me.
I get there at the set time and she's pretty cute. We sit on her bed and have some beers listening to music. After a few we start messing around and she's going down on me when I hear a loud pounding from the other room. I ask if she's expecting anyone and she says no. The pounding continues so she goes to answer the door.
I hear talking, then crying, so I pull up my pants and walk out there expecting to get yelled at or hit by a boyfriend or something. Turns out it's a sheriff's deputy and the girl is in handcuffs. They were on a warrant sweep and she had an outstanding warrant for her arrest.
The deputy told me where I could pick her up and I just nodded. As she was being loaded into the back of his car she looks at me and says "See you soon" and I said "Ok" and I drove home.
She called the next day and I didn't answer. Later I get an email about how I'm an a--hole and she was mad I didn't come get her and she had to call her boss to bail her out and to never call her again. I didn't."
9. Mixed opinions.
I was in Phoenix and I hooked up with a lady that was much older. She was about 50, I was about 35. She had a serious drinking problem. She gave me jacked up directions to her house because she was so drunk. I finally got there and she had a good body and kinda pretty so we kicked it and drank. Finally got down to business and she was wild in the sack! She let me do anything I wanted (front and back). It got a little dark when she asked me to take my belt and spank her while in doggy. I have to admit, though, I kind of liked it, but I still felt guilty (I don't know why).
The second time we hooked up she was playing a lot of online video poker. She was drunk as usual and random guys keep sending her pics through the game. I noticed that her feet were really dry, especially around the heel. That's a huge turn-off for me so I volunteered to put some lotion on them for her. After I applied the lotion she abruptly told me that I had to leave. I called her again, but she never answered. I never saw her again.
Oh, I almost forgot, she would get blackout drunk and the first time I was there she slipped in the bathroom and fell down hard. I guess she was so loaded she just got right back up and acted as though nothing had happened. She was really good in the sack though.
10. This is one for the ages.
I met a cool girl I was talking to on Craigslist, who was from Florida, for a few months but she was engaged to a guy in Missouri. He had moved up there about 6 months before to get a house set up and a job so he could move her there. What she didn't know was that her fiancee was actually shacked up with another girl in Missouri and was just stringing her along until he got around to leaving her. And because I knew this I felt it was alright to try and get some action from her cause hell he was getting some on the side so she might as well too.
A week before I was to come met her she calls me up crying saying that she doesn't have any money and they are about to cut off her power. She asks me if I can loan her $500 until I come down and then she can repay me. I say sure and I wire her the cash. This is a foreshadowing of things to come.
My parents were going on a cruise the same week I was going to fly down so we decided to leave on the same day and I would come back on the same day they returned from their trip. So we all go to the airport and I fly to Fort Lauderdale. I was going to get a rental car but she had said that I wouldn't need one because she could come get me and take me back when I needed to leave. For any of you ever thinking of meeting an internet person take it from me when I say.. ALWAYS HAVE YOUR OWN WAY OF GOING! Again foreshadowing here.
So I get off the plane and get my luggage. I see no one around that looks like her so I go to the front of the airport. An older man, around 55 with greasy hair and old ratty clothes, approaches me and calls out my name. I'm like ""Who is this?"" He introduces himself as her step-father. Her car is tore up and he had to drive her to the airport but because she didn't want to leave her kids with him he had to come in and get me.He grabs my luggage and starts off with it. We go out into the parking lot and he leads me to a early 1960s station wagon, you know the ones I'm talking about? It has wood panel siding and brown interiors and it smells like someone just puked all over the floor board? I'm like holy crap.. this is not how I pictured things going but hey I'm here so might as well make the most of it.
He sits my stuff in the back of the car as go around and hug her. Yep, still as hot as the pictures she sent me for sure, hottest girl ever. She's wearing a white and pink trimmed sun dress that shows off everything. I grin from ear to ear as she opens the door for me and closes the door for me. I am already getting a weird vibe from the 2 of them but dismiss it.. they are just being friendly is all.
As we drive back to her house her step-father says that they need gas and so he stops in at a gas station. He asks me if I want anything to drink. I say no and turn around and start talking to her as he pumps gas. When the tank is full he opens the door and says..""Ok it's 35 bucks."" then stares at me. I stare back at him and then she leans up and whispers in my ear ""Can you pay for it? I can give it back to you when we get home."" I look at her angrily and pull out my money and give him 40 bucks. They both stare at the cash in my hand and I hastily stuff it back into my pocket.
Another note for internet travellers... NEVER SHOW HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE TO ANYONE. NOT EVEN THE PERSON YOU HAVE COME TO SEE.
When he comes back out to the car he has a gallon of milk and some bread. I hold out my hand for my change but he just smiles and hands me the milk and bread. I don't say a word I just take the stuff and sit there and with a deadpan stare out the window.
We ride for a good hour into the middle of no where. I haven't seen a store in 20 mins and no houses in the past 10. I'm getting a little nervous when we finally cut onto a dirt road. It's a trailer park. I just sit and watch as the rundown, destitute homes go by. I have a sick gnawing feeling in my gut but I don't say anything. It is then that I realize that no one actually knows where I am. Only thing my parents know is I went some where near Ft. Lauderdale. They are on a cruise and even if I wanted to call them I have no idea how to actually get a hold of them.
We pull up in front of this dingy white and tan trailer. The front porch consists of some old lumber that appears to have washed up on a beach and some old plywood that has rotten through in some places. The grass around the place is so high that I can't even tell if it's underpinned or not and there are pieces of broken shit laying every where. The front door opens and this behemoth sized woman looks out and smiles and waves at us...
I turn to the girl and say... ""I thought we were going to your place?"" She smiles and says..""We are here. I live with my parents now. After Tim (that's the ex's name btw) left I couldn't afford my own place any more so I had to move back in with my mother and her husband."" I don't say another word as I get out of the car. I have officially stepped into the twilight zone.
Her mom maneuvers her way across the porch, which groans and shakes, and makes her way down the steps. I am just stunned silent as she approaches me. ""Hello there young man. It's so good of you to come and stay with us for a while. I am sure we will make you feel right at home for as long as you are here."" And she gives me this ugly smile. I smile weakly and shake her clammy rotund hands and say ""Thanks for having me ma'am."" She turns around and leads me into the house.
Nothing could have prepared me for this scene. When you walk in the front door you come into the kitchen/living room. There is a hall way to the left and a door to a bedroom to the right. What was once brown shag carpet is a faded distant memory. What has taken it's place is a stained torn mess of holes and what appears to be dried s--- in piles every where. The furniture is broken down old stuff that is so dirty you can't really tell the over all color of it. There are dozens of ashtrays everywhere piled full of cigarette butts and ashes. The ceiling is also dirty from the years of smoke that had built up on it. The kitchen sink is over flowing with dishes that look like they haven't been washed in months. There is a crock pot on the counter that has mold growing out of it and down the sides. There appears to be a pile of trash in on corner that has been there so long that it has actually rotted a hole through the floor and fell through and they have just piled the hole full. Cockroaches the size of small rats scurry around and over everything in the kitchen.
As I turn towards the bedroom I can see through the door and see an old cast iron bed that is wired to the wall. Clothes are pile ceiling high on the far wall and on the side closest to the door there is a night stand with ashes and cigarette butts beside it at least 2 ft high. The night stand is covered with what appears to be old food bowls and glasses.
I turn and look down the hall way. I can see 3 doors down the hall way and all three are closed. The walls are all dirty and cob webs are every where. There is no flooring of any kind down the hall way.. just bare gypsum board.
I stand there at least 5 mins just turning my head back and forth before I feel a nudge at my back. I turn around and Jamie (that's the girl's name) is motioning me in. I take a deep breath and walk on into hell. As I walk in the door the smell hits me like a punch to the stomach. Stale air, cigarette smoke, old food, crap, mold, and what can only be cat piss attack my nose. I almost retch as I walk in but manage to hold every thing down and not make a sound. Jamie grabs my arm and leads me down the hall. We go all the way to the very last door and she opens it and leads me into her bed room.
A water bed takes up almost all the floor space and a huge dresser takes up what's left. The closest is piled full of clothes and they are strewn all over. On one end of the dresser is a computer. The keyboard looks like someone dipped it in coke and then kicked it around outside for a couple days. The screen is so sticky with stuff I can't even see what is being displayed on the screen. The mouse appears to have a film at least a quarter-inch thick all over it. On the other end of the dresser is a nice, brand new looking stereo system that doesn't even appear to have dust on it. It is so out of place with the surroundings I can't stop staring at it. The bed itself appears to be clean as a whistle and is made up very neatly. As I stare I begin to think maybe I died in a plane crash and this is hell and I have been sent here to live for eternity.
See one thing about me is that I can't stand filth. Sure my house gets little dirty sometimes but I never let it go more than 3 days before i have to start cleaning. I couldn't even guesstimate how many years it had been since this little s---storm had been even straightened up much less cleaned.
"So what do you think? I know it's not much but it's all my mom can afford on her disability check. My step dad fishes a lot but doesn't make much money either." "I'm speechless." I say, cringing, as I brush a pile of clothes. "Yeah I know it's bad but it'll be ok." She then proceeds to make me forget all about the house and anyone else in it. She starts getting louder and louder, to the point of apocalyptic heretic screaming, and I just know any minute her parents are gonna come busting in but they never come back there. Never in all the times I had sex in that room did they ever come back there.
When we are done I ask to use the bathroom. She tells me it in the next room. I go in there and take a piss. I go to flush and nothing happens. I call her in there and she informs me I must now go outside to the well and draw a bucket of water from the well to flush with. That's right, they have no running water either! So out I go and draw the water like I had to do when I was a kid and go back and flush the commode. As I walk through the house her step-dad just stares at me and grins while her mother gives me the evil eye. I was so uncomfortable and hurried through both times.
When it was time for supper I was informed that unless I wanted fish they had caught that morning and other stuff they could rustle up I would have to buy them all dinner. So I bought us dinner from a KFC on down the road cause there was NO WAY IN HELL I was gonna eat ANYTHING fixed in that place
As I sat on her bed and waited for her step dad to come back with food I noticed something. I had taken my shoes off when I had sex with her but had left my socks on. They were BLACK. That's right walking from the bedroom to the living room and back again in my white socks had turned the bottoms of them black and sticky. I almost retched again as I yanked them off and put my shoes back on. I went in search of my suitcase and found it on the couch. When I went to pick it up a flea jumped on my arm! They also were infested with fleas!
I went back to the bedroom and just laid down and closed my eyes. How in the hell had I gotten myself into this I wondered. All in the pursuit of sex
3 days I stayed there and everyday was the same. I stayed in her room laying on the bed and when she wanted to have sex, we did. When I started talking about getting ready to leave she brought her friend over and we had a couple three ways so that I would stay longer. After 2 nights of that I had decided I had had enough. I was dirty, I was tired. Not even sex with 2 beautiful women could keep me there any longer. I told Jamie that on my 5th night there and she left the room.
A few minutes later, her step-dad came back into the room and said i wasn't going any where. I had told them I was going to stay with them for a week and he was gonna see I stayed for that long and maybe even longer; that Jamie and I had made a commitment to each other and he wasn't going to let me just walk away from that. Furthermore I owed him $800 for the 5 nights I had stayed and I couldn't leave until that was paid anyway.
I lay on the bed and just stared at the ceiling. Jamie came back in and lay down beside me. As I stared at the ceiling an idea came to me. I would wait until tonight and I would sneak out and get a ride from someone into town and then I would go to the airport and trade me ticket in for an earlier flight and go home. I decided to have one more go at Jamie before I left.
After we were through she left the room. I bought dinner again that night and said I was tired and went to bed. I laid there until I heard her start snoring. I then opened on of the windows and crept out. I ran out to the road and flagged down a car. They just happened to be going to Ft. Lauderdale and gave me a lift. I got to the airport and traded my ticket in for an earlier flight. The flight didn't leave for another hour so I decided to go to the bathroom and change clothes and get some food, but when I reached into my suitcase to get out my secret stash of cash I found it all gone. I had put $800 in cash as a just in case fund and now it was all gone. I had $25 and that was it.
When my flight landed I just sat in the airport for 26 hours. The pain in my gut was so bad that I was delirious sometimes. I finally called my girlfriend, whom I was separated from, and she came and took me home. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. The next day I went to the doctor because I felt like s---, turns out I was dehydrated. I had to stay in the hospital for days on IV to recoup from the event.
The hospital stay cost $1000, and, including plane tickets, money they stole form me, and the $500 I loaned her, the trip cost me over $2000. For a piece of a--, a couple threesomes, and a week vacation in the hospital...
Totally worth it."
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.