People Who Divorced Someone And Later Remarried That Same Person Explain What Happened
There was something new about them.
Divorce can stem from a lot of different seeds. Maybe it's a case of incompatibility, where the two parties were never going to fit no matter how hard they tried. Maybe time is a determining factor and some life-altering event changes your partner forever. Whatever the case, divorce is most often permanent and hopefully both parties move on peacefully to new horizons. That's all you can hope for. However, in some rare instances the end isn't the end.
Reddit user, u/capj23, wanted to know about those unlikely times when you and your legally binding spouse split and somehow ended up back together when they asked:
People of reddit who got divorced and then remarried the same person again, what's your story?
When Life Guides You Along
My parents. (Step)Mom and Dad married at a young age. 18 & 16. I guess that was okay back in the day. Had 2 kids, divorced.
Dad had another child, then married my biological mother and had me. Mother died of cancer. Was just my dad and I for a few years.
My oldest (half) sister was having her first child...so we visited. Obviously her mother was there as well. My dad and her rekindle their relationship.
After a few years, she officially adopts me. That was 20 years ago and they are still going strong. I've known her over 2/3 of my life and she's as good as a mother that anyone could have.
My grandparents did. My grandfather suffered massive PTSD from serving in the Navy and would get so angry he would black out and forget what he did. He was very abusive to my mother while she was growing up. My grandmother divorced him and it was a wake up call for my grandfather and he got the proper help he needed. After about 8 months of anger management sessions and seeing a psychologist on the regular my grandmother got remarried to him.
Also my mother and grandfather's relationship is great now and he is a very calm individual. I've rarely ever seen him angry and when he does it's definitely not violent.
Just Proving A Point
My ridiculous coworker divorced her husband because he said something like "you can't live without me."
She divorced him to prove a point, but then remarried him so I guess he really proved his point.
A Lovely SurpriseGiphy
Not me but my parents. They married and had me at a young age, they were very different people in every way, nothing in common. My mom had depression issues. They divorced for a brief period when I was really young but I don't ever recall knowing they were actually divorced. I never prodded why but my understanding was it just difficult so they split but realized pretty quickly they wanted to work it out. They got back together although they didn't officially remarry for years. I was 8 and they said We're getting remarried! and that was the first time I found out they were actually divorced lol. Been together 36 years now.
Ends Up Back At Square 1 Again...Again?Giphy
My grandpa married my grandma. Then he divorced her and married another woman. Than he divorced that woman and remarried my grandma. Then he divorced my grandma and remarried the second woman again.
When Parents And Former Step-Parents Connect
My parents did that.
Bitter divorce, drawn out custody battle... Nightmares all around. Almost 30 years later, they got remarried and stayed that way until my mom passed away. They were married in 1964 when my mom was 16 and my dad was 21.
They came from completely different backgrounds (Mom was Native, grew up very poor in a rural area with alcoholic parents; dad was a spoiled Mama's boy, but had a strict German father, and both my grandparents really disliked my mom for years and years) and still loved each other enough to try again regardless of the hell they'd put each other through during the divorce.
My dad and former stepdad became friends, and they hang out every night just working on cars and playing cards. So weird.
Genesis Said It Best...Giphy
My dad and my step-mom divorced when I was 14 (1994). They went a few years where they barely spoke to each other, except when dad picked up my half-brother and half-sister. My brother did most of the home maintenance and landscaping around the house until he graduated from high school. After my brother went to college, my dad started cutting the grass for her and doing the home repairs she couldn't do. They soon started going to dinner together once in awhile. Then they started hanging out and watching TV together and sometimes it would get late and dad would sleep on the couch.
After my sister went to college, he started staying over more and more often and we'd celebrate holidays together again. Whenever they'd have an argument, he'd just go back to his house and give her time to simmer down. This went on for years.
Finally, after being divorced for over 20 years, they decided it was stupid to have two separate houses, so they officially got back together and bought a new house. They keep separate bedrooms (dad downstairs, step-mom upstairs), so if they have an argument, they can get away and let things cool off.
They remind me of a line from a Genesis song: "We can not live together and we cannot live apart. That's the situation and I've known it from the start."
Sometimes, You Need A White Board To Map The Love OutGiphy
My fiancées mom is on her fourth marriage, to her third person. This guy was her second husband, my fiancées dad was her third, and then she left him to remarry the second guy after almost 40 years. It's totally weird.
Edit: to be absolutely clear: Husband one: A Husband two: B Husband three: C (my in-laws) Husband four: B, again
Sometimes, It Never Works, No Matter How Many Times You Try
My parents never loved each other, constant intense fights, finally got divorced when I was 13. Dad bought a house, furnished it, but never moved in. Without showing any affection or explaining anything to me and my younger siblings, they remarried. Then they divorced again when I was 17.
Also, they were very against therapy, which we all could have really benefited from. We're all f-cked up now. So if you're a parent and you're denying your child mental health treatment or ignoring their need for it, don't be surprised when they grow up and go no contact with you. Emotional neglect and abuse is real, and damages every aspect of a person's life for a very long time, possibly forever. Even with treatment later in life.
Also, some people just shouldn't be parents. Not everyone is physically/financially/emotionally well suited for it. Having children is a choice. Children are not an extension of yourself, they are not your therapist or best friend, and having them doesn't 'fix' relationships. Seriously.
Sometimes, All It Takes Is Time To Realize...Giphy
We got married in our early 20s. Had a few happy years together and eventually had several problems all at once, from money to illness. Everything became tension and we ended up hating each other, I got a load of mental health problems as a result and we separated and divorced amicably.
Over 3 years we would sporadically talk on social media or the phone over Xmas or birthdays etc but it would always end up an argument over long standing bitterness over something. Eventually I wrote a letter saying that I couldn't talk to her again as it always turned into an emotional rollercoaster and it wasn't healthy. I admitted a load of stuff and at the same time got off my chest what I thought of her at the time, and we stopped contact.
Another few years later she messaged me on Facebook about something to do with a mutual friend, we got chatting and agreed to meet up for a drink. Everything went well, and we saw each other more often and eventually we started a relationship. During that time talked over those old issues and we both realised that we had matured and had been improved in the areas we previously struggled with due in part to the divorce and also that we were now that much more emotionally mature.
We went away on holiday and in secret got remarried at Gretna Green, with 2 shopkeepers as our witnesses. 7 years later, we live an increasingly self sustainable life with allotments, two dogs, chickens and have done lots of life laundry to work less and spend as much time as possible together. I'm a full time mature student, and she has various part time casual jobs in her field. The less money we have, the happier we have become.
We always knew we should be together I think, it was just a matter of timing and maturity.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: