People Explain The Awful Social Norms They Are Pressured Into Following.


This article is based on the AskReddit question "What's something you actually don't want to do but social norm tells you to do it anyway?"

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

1. Hating your job ...

Working a job you hate for the sole purpose of paying bills and surviving, but you have to take verbal abuse from "customers" with a smile. If you stand up for yourself in a "non-professional" manner, you're done.

As long as it doesn't come to violence, I think if someone makes fun of a janitor, talks down to some kid working at McDonalds, or throws a tantrum at a customer service rep, they should be able to tell them to, Get lost," and not be canned for it.


2. Settling down

I'm 42, single, no kids or pets, everything I own fits in my SUV, and I have no debts. I usually spend my money recklessly on experiences and travel, rather than owning a house or planning for retirement. I don't want to get married, I don't want kids, I don't want a mortgage or car payments, I just want to spend the rest of my life doing what makes me happy. Everyone I know seems to have a problem with my lifestyle. People are always accusing me of being childish or selfish because I don't want the mortgage and 2.5 children which most folks my age swear are the keys to happiness. I see it as a nightmare. A prison. I enjoy my freedom and will only stop when I'm dead.


3. Team building

I work in a semi-corporate setting.

Dear God. I do not want to do a puzzle with Connie in planning and then do a brief skit about business silos and overcoming odds or innovation. It is the most uncomfortable, unproductive, cringeworthy thing I've ever come across.


4. Loving night time

I'm a night owl, I love staying up until 3am or around that time and getting up late morning, between 9.30am and 10.30am but I feel lazy for doing that for some reason. I hate getting up early because it means going to bed early but I love night time.


5. Small talk with a hairdresser

Engage in small talk with the person cutting my hair. Especially if there are others around and we're the only two talking.


6. Mandatory fun

Got stuck with this a ton in the military as an officer. "Hey Captain, the Colonel has invited all CGOs to his house for dinner tonight. Better be there". Yes, because my first weekend free in two months should be spent listening to the same guy I see every day from 0400-1900 tell terrible jokes while suggesting we read his General friend's terrible book...

Got out of that only to find the private sector does the same thing. Uggh


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7. Early morning work days

Waking up at 5:30AM to get to work for 7:00AM every weekday, even though some of those days you could show up at 10:00AM and still get everything you need to get done by 5:00PM. It would be nice to have a few mornings that aren't the weekend to get things done for me and not for the big boss man.


8. Some times you just want to relax

Feeling guilty whenever I'm not doing something "productive." I'm not a lazy slob because I don't hike through the mountains or remodel my house every weekend. Relaxation is good for you. Not every spare minute has to be crammed with activity.


9. Parenting

Pretending that parenting is the most AMAZING THING EVER. Sure, I love my kids. They're generally pretty cool, but they can also be relentless little jerks that exist purely to terrorize their parents and siblings. It's an exhausting, thankless job sometimes. I really hate that people can't just be honest with each other about how soul crushing it can be at times. I don't think I slept for the first six years. I would have been a lot more prepared had people offered actual advice and told me just how out of loop I would feel after barely getting any sleep for three months in a row. Or that it's completely natural to fantasize about traveling back in time to shove birth control pills down your own throat.


10. Small talk at social gatherings

Small talk with people you kind of know but aren't really friends with at social gatherings because you've been seated next to them at the table or what not. That sucks... mostly because I suck at small talk but still.


11. Long work days and hours

Work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I think it's a travesty that this is the norm, but if you say you want to work less, you're labeled as lazy. I'd be 100% fine with 4 day work weeks and 3 day weekends.


12. Have a wedding

The stigma is you're young and dumb if you go to the courthouse to get married because then it's just a shotgun wedding or eloping or some other such nonsense. Maybe I have better things to spend my money on than a grand ceremony and invite a bunch of people I don't care to see so they can give me crap I picked out on my registry and call it a thoughtful gift. Maybe if I hadn't have dropped enough for a down payment on a house on a one-day event, then I would be able to afford those stupid hand towels on my own. I know not everybody has a wedding anymore and I'm glad it's becoming more socially acceptable, but there is still this stigma about it. It's been my life goal and dream for as long as I can remember to find my one person and settle down and get married. But it's the being married part that I want... not the wedding.


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13. Send thank you cards

If you give me a gift, I'll say thank you. My gratitude is real. But I'm less grateful in the moment when I have to sit down and do the homework assignment of writing and mailing a card.


14. No makeup

I'm a woman who doesn't wear makeup. Nobody really says anything, but there have been times in my life where I felt left out or immature for not wanting to wear makeup. As I get older, I see more women going around barefaced. I don't know if it's a current trend, or if older women generally wear less to no makeup, but I like it.


15. Having kids

Now I'm not 100% against it, but why is it okay for people to harass couples and individuals about having kids? We live in a completely different world now. It shouldn't be expected as if people who don't have kids, have this mark on their forehead that needs to be removed by creating life. It's like you're consistently disappointing people who wouldn't help you take care of them anyway or will probably never see them. And God forbid you tell them you might not have any... the look of horror and shock is amazing.


16. Normal clothes

Dress up in business casual just to sit in front of a computer all day.

Wear shoes other than supportive tennis shoes. Screw heels!

I grew up in jeans and band t shirts. I have no idea how to wear "normal" clothes. Are these shorts normal? Does this shirt look nice enough for people to not think I'm white trash? Hello again, anxiety, my old friend.


17. Unfair bill payment

Splitting the bill in equal parts while eating out with friends.

I may look like a cheap person, but if I ate simple plate of pasta with one bottle of water and you ate the biggest steak with 2 portions of french fries and multiple beers I don't think it's fair to split the bill equally.


18. Go to baby showers

Weddings are at least a trade-off. You buy a gift and travel to the wedding, but you're pretty much guaranteed (that is, if you have fun friends/family) a pretty solid night of food, drinking, and dancing. As far as baby showers go, it is my literal nightmare to have to be somewhere with multiple women of various ages (many whom I probably don't know), playing weird baby-themed games and buying baby gifts that honestly seem ridiculous. Babies don't need more than HALF the things they put on their registries. Also, there's usually stuff like vegetable platters or a bland and cheap vanilla cake. Sorry, the whole thing is just awful and stupid.


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19. Bless you!

Saying "bless you" after someone sneezes - not only is it a goofy custom, but I'm not even religious. Yet not saying anything seems impolite, and just never occurs to me to say something like gesundheit".


20. No planning ahead of time

Some of my friends have a big problem arranging a social engagement, since everybody is instantly connected through texting etc. If I ask if they want to come to some event a week ahead, such as dinner or a party, the best answer I get is probably". They are looking for the best thing to do in the moment, at which time I will suddenly receive a text saying, "Hey, I am at such-and-such a bar. Join me!" Nobody wants to plan ahead of time anymore.


21. Shave

I'm a woman so I need to shave my entire body because you know, 'women's body hair is gross and dirty but men's body hair is clean and natural' Also if body hair is dirty why are women expected to have long hair on their head? I don't know, shaving is ridiculous.


22. Children birthday cards

Getting children birthday cards when they too young to read. They don't care, it's obviously for the parents, but I just find it a waste. I would want the money spent on the card to go into the actual present.


23. Being forced to spend time with family members

Visiting your family members & in laws once a month combined with various random occasions. Too many weekends spent from visiting grandma A followed by an afternoon at some restaurant with parent in laws who I have nothing in common and are as exciting as watching paint dry.

I just want to hang out with friends or enjoy my weekend at home.


24. Giving hugs and/or kisses to family

When I was a kid I stopped doing it and my family would try and guilt trip me into doing it anyway. My dad was always quick to defend me and say it was my choice but my mum encouraged them and told me I was a horrible little girl and I didn't deserve the nice things my family did to me.

My body, my choice.


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25. Be friends with coworkers

I'm always asked to sit with them at lunch, asking about my personal life, what I get up to outside of work. The sitting with them at lunch is because I like to just be on my own, listen to music, wander without having to feel "on".

It sounds like I'm being such a terrible person but I just like to keep my personal and work life separate.


26. Wear a tie

They are uncomfortable and I don't understand their purpose. Am I hiding the buttons on my shirt? I'm not allowed to use it to wipe my mouth during a meal, or blow my nose on it, which I would assume to be their purpose seeing one for the first time. Also, they are secretly filthy. My friend is a dentist and asked me " When was the last time you washed your ties? I don't wear them because they would spread disease." My mind exploded. I suppose I could use one to hang myself if I was really in a pinch though, so that's cool I guess.


27. Having a phone

I hardly ever use it as a phone, maybe send a text once a week or so. Maybe if I had a nicer phone I would feel differently, but I'm not sure. Most people reach me just fine through Messenger (I have to be online all day for my job) or other means. Every time my phone rings I look at it like it's a steaming pile of dog poop on my desk.


28. Do people even care how you are?

I hate the following exchange which HAS to occur at the beginning of most interactions for some reason:

"Hi, how are you?"

"Good [not really], how are you?"

"Good [not really]"

You can't say how you actually are because no one cares, its just stupid pretext to whatever they want to talk about; so why bother with it at all? If you don't care how I am and I don't care how you are why can't we skip the nonsense and get right to the point?


29. Having to care

I don't care that the neighbor down the street that I barely know needs a ride for his sisters boyfriends daughter. I don't care that my co-worker that I can barely stand has the flu and I don't want to sign his/her get well card. Saying "I don't care" is rude but pretending to isn't? Our society pretends too much. I noticed that when someone from another country pointed out that we often ask "how are you?" but don't really want to know.


30. Going out to meet women

I don't like the game, in fact I hate it. Making small talk, dressing up, buying drinks for strangers... It's all so clich and mind numbing to me; however, if you don't make some attempt to go out and be sociable with others, you never get laid and it gets lonely. So I do it anyway.


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31. Drink alcohol

I drank for a bit when I was younger (18-19) but as of now (21) I can honestly go without it. I prefer to be of sound mind, god forbid anything goes wrong and someone has to take you to the hospital (happened a few times and I'm the only sober one to drive).


32. Subway rides

Getting on the subway, standing in your spot hoping that person gets up because you have over an hour on there... 45 minutes in some slightly older woman comes and stands next to you. Now guess what, if you sit you're suddenly a jerk.

Second scenario, you are already sitting, head down not looking around, watching a movie on your phone. All of a sudden someone taps you hard on your shoulder and points to someone else to get you to give your seat to them.

Like there's tons of people actually looking around, why are you singling me out for this? How do you know I don't have a back problem or a knee problem? How about don't push what you think is fair onto someone else and let them decide for themselves?

Obviously if someone is having a really hard time standing or very pregnant and I see it I'm going to get up, but no one should be making you do it especially on someone else's behalf without them asking for it.


33. Precious children

Treating children as if they are precious jewels that can neither be corrected or disappointed. It seems that a lot of modern parents view their kids as the most important, non fallible things on the planet and expect you to feel the same way about them.


34. Wanting and not wanting to be involved in social media

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, but utilization of social media. I'll post something on Facebook 1-2 times a year and I'll Snapchat friends a couple times a week (never got into twitter/Instagram). However I'll see 20 notification on Facebook after a few days or receive 5+ snapchats a day from friends. It doesn't bother me that they send them to me, it bothers me that I don't have much of a desire to be a part of it. Ill have a conversation with a friend for hours like we've know each other our whole lives, but when it comes to social media I don't know what to say to them. I'll catch a 12 inch fish or make a delicious meal but I won't really tell anyone about it because I feel like no one is interested, but when people share the same things they did I feel left out for some reason when they have 30 comments from people. I'm not sure why I don't want to be involved, but also want to be at the same time. Maybe It'll go away after I grow up a little more.


35. Having grand ambitions for life

Every person that I've talked to barring friends who asked what my life goals were rolled their eyes at me or scoffed. All I want in life is an average job that pays a wage/salary that allows me to pay the bills, buy food, and have plenty left over to enjoy the small things in life like travelling or video games.

I don't need expensive cars, a mansion, millions of dollars in my account, horde of women to sleep with. I just want a simple life to enjoy the simple things in life.


36. Say hi every time!

This actually happened to me today. I was fast-walking during a jog and I was circling the park. I passed by a lady I knew, so I smiled at her and said hello, simple stuff. A few minutes later I passed her again. Introverted me kind of panicked because I don't know whether I should say hello again or just ignore her. I felt like a terrible person if I did, so I smiled and said hello again, to which she replied with a smile. Okay. A few minutes went by and I pass by her again. At this point I chose to ignore her. When I did, she kept looking at me to the point where she turned her head as if hoping I'd say hi to her yet again for the third time in the span of probably 30 minutes. I felt really bad but at the same time kind of pissed. We both know we're here and are kind of in the middle of something, do I really have to say hi and make small talk every time we see each other?



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.