People Reveal The Weirdest Thing That They Do While Home Alone
We are such strange creatures by nature.
When we are with others we observe social graces. But when we are simply by ourselves, there is no such thing. And when we have a whole house in which to be weirdos in...well, all bets are simply off.
Here were some of those answers.
The New JuicesGiphy
I put things in the juicer to see what happens.
Gushers work weirdly well
Watermelon is meh
Don't juice a potato
Commentate my life. Like sports announcer style. "Denny is dropping down, looking to put this sandwich away." "That's right Bob, truly a spectacular performance, one more bite should do the trick"... "OH MY GOD, A BAG OF CHIPS COMES OUT OF NO WHERE. THE CROWDS ABSOLUTELY LOVING IT."
The Cat Doesn't Deserve This
Immediately say all the things I wanted to say to people during the day but discretion stopped me. My cat knows I'm home when she hears me scream "YOU ARE SO F*CKING STUPID! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!?"
It's The "I'm Alone!" Show With Johnny Carson
I, like many people, talk out loud to myself. However, I like to pretend I'm being interviewed. It's a great way to process what I think about things, like movies, or music, or even just day to day life. I'm sure I sound like an absolute maniac if anyone heard me.
Yell random words. I occasionally get sudden, overwhelming urges to shout whatever word pops into my head, and if I happen to be alone, I will.
That happens to me too, but is usually when I'm remembering and cringing for something i said or did. Also when getting frustrated for a bad decision. Everything's better after yelling.
Pulp Fiction: Pup Edition
I talk mad sh*t to my dog in my best Sam L Jackson voice.
"The F*CK you lookin at?"
"You want me to let you out side???! KISS my *ss Mutha F*cka!!"
my dog does the happy tap dance by the door
It makes me feel like a badass.
It's My Only Time To Be My Alien Self
I'm an adult with an adult job and an adult house and do adult-y things like taxes and budgeting and investing in my future and retirement.
I also climb up the stairs on all fours like an animal and sit on the floor in front of my couch just because I feel like "snacking" instead of "eating" while I watch cartoons.
Weirdest is probably sudden giggle fits I get from thinking of something funny, and it puts me in a giggly mood. I'm sure if someone was watching they would think I was insane.
No Humans Allowed
Sometimes when I'm bored or don't feel like interacting with other people I just lay wide-eyed on my bed looking at the ceiling. I don't even think. I'm perfectly content with going days without even speaking to others or just aloud. I'll even not eat or drink unless it's like 5am just so I can avoid flatmates. I suppose that's pretty weird.
Emily Brontë Wrote This
Put loud music on, cry if I listen to the song too hard or go into some other world I've been "creating" since I was a child. Sort of like imaginary friends, but with a lot of history. I thought I'd grow out of it one day, but nope. Keeps me from feeling alone so often.
I regrew my beard recently, and as a result, I've fallen back into the worst private habit I ever developed.
See, I've always been something of a stickler for grooming, and that makes my facial hair a source of nearly constant frustration. Whenever I'm alone, I wind up running my thumb across my jaw line, feeling for anything that's even a millimeter out of place. If I discover a hair that's slightly too long, I immediately have to trim it... and of course, dealing with that one offender often means that I have to punish the ones around it, too. I'll find myself making trips to my bathroom mirror maybe a dozen times a day, always with that Sisyphean intent of keeping my beard perfect.
Of course, by the time that I'm satisfied, at least one hair will have grown a bit...
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.