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People Imagine What Historical Figures Would Have Been Like On Instagram

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Here's a fun thought experiment: Who from history would you not want to have access to a cell phone. Or worse, Twitter? Last thing we'd need to see would be the innermost thoughts of the world's greatest monsters throughout time. The only thing worse than their verbal thoughts would be them taking pictures of what they're doing. That's where Instagram comes in.


Reddit user, u/realitywut, wanted to hear the best of the worst influencers from throughout history when they asked:

Which historical figure would be the most obnoxious Instagram "influencer"?

FIRST!

Alexander Graham Bell. He'd always be the one writing "first" in the comments.

L8nighttalk25

No One Needs To See That Kind Of Self-Endorsement

Alexander the Great. Constantly posting Instagram selfies with stuff he re-named after himself

frogsrbetter

What A Dirty Dude

Mozart's profile would have been banned for obscene posts. He'd then make a new accounts every time. His usernames would be hilarious every time.

placidb-tch

Crossfit Sis

Joan of Arc.

Non-stop photos of nature pics inscribed with bible verses and inspirational quotes, but all of her IG stories would be her doing CrossFit.

wesevans

Just Stealing Content. Everyday.

Thomas Edison, what a douche. He'd constantly repost without credit

DiLawLaw

Guys, You Can Smile Once In A While

The original Emo, Edgar Allen Poe would be insufferable.

As would H.P Lovecraft

TheGamerFoot

Good Lord, Henry David Thoreau would be HUGE on instagram. Like a 19th century version of today's "all natural, all good: the simple life, the real life," hipster-like influencers. Just endless pics of his cabin that end with #thetinylife.

Oscar Wilde would be up there as well. But for different reasons. He would be doing selfies and name dropping posts all the time. But he would be so witty about it that the public would eat it up.

inksmudgedhands

#Humblebrag

The first Roman Emperor Augustus.

He essentially invented the idea of mass consumption propaganda for the Roman People so every one of his posts would be humblebrags of his achievements.

"Check out my new statue, oh the fancy artwork on the breastplate? Yeh that's the Parthians giving back our lost Legionary Standards. Did I mention that they gave them over without a fight? I must just be that intimidating I guess. Oh well guess we can all enjoy ~200 years of unprecedented peace and stability because of my achievements, no biggie #PaxAugusta"

PippinIRL

I Can See These Under Pictures Of Minions

Oscar Wilde. His famous quotes would seem pretty douchey as captions on Instagram photos.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Streeturchin1337

Not forgetting, "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex; sex is about power".

learner1314

What's Your Name?

Alexander Hamilton.

He publicly published his mistress's letters in the paper because he wanted to disprove rumors about him, and got into fights with everyone. Do you know how much tea he would spill if he had an internet connection? Plus, he completely bankrupted himself to pay for a lavish lifestyle that made him look like he had more money than he did.

He is definitely someone who would take out an expensive lease on a Lamborghini just to get some good selfies with it.

aand_Peggy

"It wasn't me!"

There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.

Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked:

Redditors who were once considered suspect of a crime they did not commit, what's it like being held under suspicion and how did it affect your life?

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