People Imagine The Worst Things Neil Armstrong Could’ve Said When He Landed On The Moon
fStop Images - Caspar Benson
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
Those words, uttered by Neil Armstrong as he stepped on the surface of the moon for the first time, are familiar to most of us. Knowing billions of people would be watching their historic flight, NASA had crafted the perfect quote for the first man to step on the moon (even if he did get it wrong). But what if he had said something else?
Reddit user FootThong asked:
"What's the worst thing Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon for the first time?"
and over 10,000 responses were received. Here are some of the best of the worst.
That Sinking Feeling
"One small step for.....HOLY SH*% IS THIS QUICKSAND?!" blue_13
Moon Over Miami (and Everywhere Else)
Neil missed the perfect opportunity to pull down his pants and flash the camera with his a**.
It would probably have killed him but ya know, moon on the moon would have been epic. Holmes02
"What is this? Who are you? Oh God!" Then sound is cut and you never see him again.
Or worse, he comes back seemingly fine and has no recollection of what you were talking about.
Monty, Is That You?
"On second thought let's not set foot on the moon, it's a silly place" vitten23
A Different Media Age
This is Neil Armstrong from the moon, and before we begin, be sure to mash that like button and subscribe! Infinitto
Should Have Had Better Treads on Those Boots
Neil slips off (the ladder) and falls on the ground and says something like "*$>#&/%@ DAMMIT" while the world is watching him. Dr_Doorknob
"There is no problem. We are fine now." "You and Buzz?" "Buzz?" "Yeah Buzz... you and Buzz? Buzz Aldrin? Are you joking? He just went with you to-" "OH YES! We are fine. He is also fine." GetHisWallet
WE FORGOT THE CRACKERS!
Ready For His Close-up
"Did you guys get it? Or do we need another take?"
First Man On the Moon, Maybe
"I will put the flag next to the Russian flag."
The Cow Jumped Over the Moon (Almost)
"Hold on, look over there... is that... a Dinosaur bone?"
First Turtle On The Moon
"That's ... one small step for man. One .... shit... f*$#ing hell. I can't get up. Buzz, get the f$#% out here and help me up. (under breath) First turtle on the moon. Good job, a-hole." BizzyM
Somebody pointed out that he could have said "Boy! I could sure use a Coca-Cola!" and been a millionaire... shleppenwolf
"Finders, keepers; losers, USSR" DigNitty
Not Worth the Trip
"This isn't that great. I think we just wasted a lot of money." shirtlessin1stclass
"The earth really is flat." xiphias99
No One Can Hear You In Space
"Aw, dude. I just f*%&ing; farted in my spacesuit." molotok_c_518
"Houston, I'm not sure I like this place. The scenery's nice but there's just no atmosphere... Badum-tish!"
"Damn I'm tired. Thank god we're getting out of that sardine can. Oh sh*#. Are we broadcasting?" MacNamedDre
Wipe Your Feet
"Oh, it's all sticky!" AU_REVOIR_SHOSHANNA
"Why are there so many missiles flying across the pacific right now." DocileFalla
Held For Ransom
"And to my right we see a monster."
"Apollo, could you please elaborate?"
"The monster got me. He's got my arm twisted behind my back - I think he knows jiujitsu. He wants you to leave 4 million... 4 million?... no- 5 million Deutschmarks in a paper bag by the Sea of Tranquility..."
Armstrong: "Uh Houston you'll never guess what I can see?"
Houston: "Yes Neil, what do you see?"
Armstrong: "Houston I can see your mother's fat a** all the way from space." Luke_McOck
German Space Program
Alaskan Bull Worm
"Command, we are under attack! Hostile is extremely dangerous!"
"Apollo, what does the hostile look like?"
"I don't know, but it's BIG, SCARY, AND PINK!!" SquadPoopy
"Neil A" Backwards is "Alien"
"My people, I have returned. I have brought with me a prisoner from earth. This moment is being broadcast live to the entire earth. KILL." CB1984
"Oh come on, clean up after your dog!" moronicuniform
We Are Not Alone
"Some footprints are already here."
"What strange looking feet though..."
"The f%&$ was that?!"
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"