Stories > Society

People Imagine Their Rules If People Played A Drinking Game Based On Their Life

A drinking game based on my life? Drink to everything; the mundane, the fun, the happy, the sad. The real challenge is to come up with a decent shot for each moment. Grab some booze and follow along!

davidbklyn asked storied Redditors: If somebody is playing a drinking game while watching your life, when do they drink?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Smudge shots: vodka and chocolate syrup.

Everytime I take my glasses off to clean it because of that one tiny droplet/smudge of moisture that magically appears out of nowhere.

Hereditus

The shy Redditor: PBR and Capri Sun.

Every time I type up a full reply to someone else's comment on Reddit, proofread it, then think to myself "Nah that's stupid" and delete it all.

fingerpaintswithpoop

Tequila. Also, you might die.

Every time I do something awkward then get haunted by it for years to come.

deep_fried_gumby

Jameson. 

Every time I tell a joke I've told before. Double-drink if it's the third time I'm telling it, and so on.

Chimerasame

Burnett's Blueberry Vodka on the rocks. Can't be bothered.

Whenever I avoid making a decision by forcing someone else to decide.

xinzei

This calls for a Bud Light bender.

I once hooked up with a chick. It was my first time having sex without being in a relationship. I was extremely uncomfortable so when I left I had no idea what to do. I looked at her and was like "so uh that was fun..... see ya later" then put up finger guns and made tiny pew noises and got the f*ck out. Hook ups aren't my thing.

dannyboy6657

Rum & Coke, because it never tastes bad.

Every time I procrastinate.

I'll finish the list later.

YoHeadAsplode

Chardonnay, you should be ashamed.

Every time I miss an opportunity with a woman.

P.S. take an extra shot if it's because I got too drunk.

true_dough

I like the expanded rules.

davidbklyn

Thank you

I could also do "drink every time he bends the rules" lol

true_dough

Chug that cheap gin - you're already crying.

Every time I break down and text my ex.

silverbackgojira

Oof, nice.

davidbklyn

They'd be as hammered as I am when I do it.

silverbackgojira

More tequila.

Everytime I masturbate.

dauntlessTech

Getty Images

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.

The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.

Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"

Keep reading... Show less