People Reveal The Moment They Realized They Were Being Used
Relationships are hard. You have to trust the other person enough to let them in, and sometimes that can lead to heartbreak. We all know that not everyone is a good person, but it's especially hurtful to find out someone isn't who you thought they were once you're already invested in the relationship.
Reddit user u/SirQuay asked:
Just Need The Answer
At university, every night before an assignment he would message:
"Hey how you doing?"
Then 2 minutes later ask for the answers.
Get A Therapist
Didn't use me for money or anything physical, but they always wanted to vent their problems to me, which I didn't mind. But when I needed to talk about my problems, they always found a way to dismiss my issues, or they'd try to one-up me. They wanted me to be their therapist which I wasn't equipped to be.
Hire A Repairman
My 'best friend'. When they moved round the corner from my house and made all sorts of 'Oh you can come round for cups of tea so easily now!' Comments. I took a day off to help them move. Used my staff discount to help them buy all their appliances. I have been invited round once in the year she has lived there and the only time I was invited round was for 20 minutes to look at a potential fault with one of the appliances. They have also stopped talking to me except on odd occasions where they have more appliance related questions, usually at about 11pm on a Sunday.
When a buddy said "why should I pay my share of gas, if it wasn't for me inviting you out you'd never go anywhere"
I've taken inventory of my past and identified this type of person as a recurring character, the friend-bully. Friendship makes the bullying worth it, right? Nope, when your friend is also your bully, they know you on a MUCH deeper level. That type of bullying works on a level we don't even notice sometimes.
Upvoted for the concept of "friend-bully" - this describes him very well. He moved out of state and we occasionally exchange emails, but that's about as far as it goes now.
Not A Taxi Service
Back in HS, I was one of the first of my friends to get a drivers license. I was constantly asked for rides. I didn't mind, because in my teenage brain, I was the cool kid that was able to drive. I started realizing they were just using me for my car when they got pissed off at me for having to work and not being able to be their taxi service for the night.
Hey I am in my mid-twenties and people still pull this sh*te
If Only He Could Have Been Honest
I'm a woman, and when I was in high school, a guy friend of mine invited me to a cookout his family was having one Saturday. Fine, why not? He was nice, cookouts are nice, so I said sure.
He picks me up and we show up at his grandparents' house, and it's packed. Everyone in the family - aunts, uncles, cousins, steps - is there, and they are THRILLED to meet me. Everyone comes up to give me hugs and to chat, they've heard so much about me, how cute we are together - and I'm like, what? I smile and hug, and play along, but I'm so lost in all this. They're so nice, though, so I had lunch, talked with everyone, we took pictures, it was fine, if a little unnerving. Eventually, he took me home and while we hung out in the same group at school, we never went out as a couple like that again.
Fast-forward to a few years later when I'm in college. Word gets to me through my friends that this guy has just 'come out' as gay and has a boyfriend. And suddenly, all those cook-out memories flood back and now make sense - I had been his BEARD! He apparently had been having a tough time in high school and so brought me along to the cookout - which was really a FAMILY REUNION to divert any thinking about his orientation for a while.
It was a total A-ha moment, but after thinking about it, I really didn't mind. If he needed to use me to gain some time to sort himself out before he could go public, then I'm glad, even if I didn't know it then.
When i'd been married for approximately 2 years and 1 week, and my (now ex) English-born newly green card-awarded husband referred to our marriage as "settling for something, since myths like true love didn't exist, so you may as well find someone you can sort of tolerate and accept that that is the best you can expect."
After i spat my drink out, i asked, "Wait, so all those times you said you loved me and wanted to spend your life with me?"
"Oh, you didn't think i MEANT that?? No one MEANS it, it's just playacting to get what you want."
This Is Betrayal
When she dumped me via facebook after me helping her through thyroid cancer. Doctors, tests, getting medicine, was there 100% for before/during/after her after surgery as well.
Amazing how thinking you found someone you could spend your life with and for the first time wanting to do anything/everything to help them get better, with them supposedly returning those feelings...
Magically overnight you find out you are just a band-aid to them, and meant to be thrown away when you are no longer needed.
F---ed me up... probably still to this day even after several years. That ever present feeling that the only person I can trust when it comes to relationships is myself.
That's Just Low
Dated in college and moved home after college was finished. We were both looking to get jobs in a bigger city so the long distance thing would be temporary. She got me to drive an hour and a half to help her, her mom, and her brother move out of their house into 1 house where her mom and her would be living, another apartment where her brother was moving to, and 2 storage units. It was 2 days of moving and when I stayed over she slept in the same bed with me but I could tell she was not into anything going on....we were both tired after moving so I chalked it up to that. After the 2nd day of moving I was headed back home and she only hugged me and said thanks when I left. The next week she came drove out and broke up with me.
Obviously she wasn't into me anymore but kept me around at least the extra week to help her move. It was a massive move too... fridges, washer/dryer, 100s of boxes.
When I was 8, my mom suddenly got a new boyfriend and my father, who until then had expressed zero interest in me came back to me and started to take me on weekends, be more friendly etc. At first I thought nothing of it, but after I realized that every weekend he would sit me at the kitchen table, get me to talk through everything my mom was doing during the week, and then ignore me for the weekend, I realized that the only reason he came back to me was that my brother was too young to spy on them, and I was old enough to tell him in detail everything yet young enough to be manipulated.
Needless to say I don't speak to him anymore.