People Reveal How They Got Their Boss Fired


I used to work for a guy who was seriously not just the worst boss ever, but the worst human being. I'm talking openly racist, abusive, with 'roid rage issues, criminally negligent, a fraud. I could go on but seriously there are legal cases in the works right now, so...

Thing is, it took over a year working there for all of this to come to light. I thought it was strange that the day of my first interview all of the other employees kept asking me if I really needed the job.

Red flag AF, you guys. We couldn't get him fired as he was the owner of the company, but several of us did report him to appropriate boards, etc. It's worth noting that this guy was so bad to work for, that everyone who was in the office has left not just the job, but the entire industry and in two cases moved out of the entire state. Yeah. He sucked that bad.

Reddit user Tunaball25 asked

People who've gotten their bosses fired: how?

I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed reading every single one of these responses from people who managed to do what we couldn't. So if you've ever had a terrible boss who you wanted to get fired - go ahead and dive in. Some of the entries have been edited for language or clarity, but every awful (and awesome) detail is still right here for you to enjoy.

Pretty Manageable

The CEO publicly praised me for completing a task that my boss had struggled with, so my boss retaliated by forwarding all of his tasks to me in an effort to overwhelm me with work. I actually found his job pretty manageable, which the CEO also noticed and fired him, giving me his job and office.

- karatelemon

The Threat

He grabbed the back of my neck and said "If you ever say I'm wrong in front of a customer again I will beat your @ss."

I went to the GM and told him and my supervisor was relieved of his duties about 5 minutes later.

- PostedIntel



Had a doctor that constantly ignored patients in serious pain. He thought all of them were faking it to get pain killers. After a senior director at Microsoft died from a heart attack in our ER that he refused to do an EKG on, I went to management and told them what I had seen.

- quiet-nurse

The Investigation

It was my supervisor. It got to the point that I had decided to quit. I had my resignation letter in my purse, but decided to let his boss know why I was quitting.

Supervisor would talk about all the people on our team constantly, but only behind their backs. I got so sick of telling him to cut it out. My husband and I happened to work at the same place (different departments) and my Supervisor would make sexual comments about threesomes (ewww), what hotel we should pick for our afternoon delight, sh*t like that. It was so bloody uncomfortable.

Apart from this, he spent most of his supervising time outside smoking. The problem in my mind was that Supervisor was "one of the guys" and I was the only girl.

Turns out I didn't need to worry about that. His boss was disgusted and told his boss - who lost his mind. They started an investigation which took three days. They interviewed staff - who corroborated what I said. They checked the security cameras, saw he was spending most of his work day outside smoking. And was fired.

When he was told he guessed (wasn't hard!) that I was the person who complained and tried to get to me to "apologize that I took it the wrong way." The best feeling was my co workers surrounding me as he was walked out. That was a lovely ending to it all.

- irishmuminacoldland

The Zamboni

Was working maintenance at an ice rink. The rule for anyone who knows how an ice rink works is if the zamboni doors open, you get the f--- off the ice. Some d!ck-head decided to ignore the fact that they were open and that I was standing in the doorway, and decided to rip off one last slap-shot. The puck bounced off the glass and hit me in the head.

I was OK, but reported it to my boss, because we have to fill out an incident report for things like that. The boss asked "Are you OK?" I said I feel OK, then he responded with "Well, we don't really have to report it then do we?" I reminded him of the protocol, but it was clear he didn't want to do it. Since he wouldn't do it, I sent a descriptive email of the incident up to the administration, because I felt there should be some sort of documentation/paper trail in case god-forbid I ended up having a brain hemorrhage or something a few days later.

The boss was fired by my next shift.

- grizzfan

Short Term Disability

I was fired because I "abandoned my job" while on short term disability. While on approved leave, they set a date for me to return and never informed me (by their own admission.) When I obviously didn't return to work... I was fired.

The locker I had at work had my work boots in it that the company pays $90 a year towards. However there isn't a pair under $100 available. So you always end up having some come out of your paycheck. At that point they are yours regardless of the company line. My supervisor disagreed and said they were thrown out.

I reported them stolen and explained the entire situation. The HR director responsible for getting me fired was fired.

- r48811

Moms Death


Phoned him to tell him I won't be at work for the rest of the week as my mum is terminally ill in hospital.

The next day (about an hour after she passed away) he phoned and asked why I wasn't at work, I just hung up on him so I wouldn't say anything that would get me in trouble.

The next day I sent the area-manager a Whatsapp message explaining what he'd be done and attached a video of him breaking the freezer door while having a tantrum. That door cost the store nearly £5000 in lost stock and the repair costs. He had told the his manager that the door broke on its own. He got fired that day and I got 2 weeks off with full pay.

- AkariAkaza

As A Customer

Not my boss but I helped my friend get her boss fired. He was a general manager, and always grabbing her sides, purposely scheduling her to have shifts alone with him, asking her for nudes, asking her to sleep with him, etc. She reported it so many times to the owner (big boss) and they said they couldn't do anything because they hadn't seen it and had no reports other than her account. In short, she had no "witnesses" and couldn't prove anything, it was her word against his, they were not going to reprimand him.

So I called and complained as a customer about how I witnessed him being creepy to her and how it made me uncomfortable. For the most part true lol, I just don't shop there.

- Gardengnostlc

17 Hours

My manager wanted to prove I'm slacking off so he could write me up. So he watched CCTV footages then wrote, printed out and SIGNED a detailed 17 page Word document of what did I do in the past two days. With timestamps (like, 07:59 arriving, 08:01 speaking with co-worker A and B, 08:07 sitting down to my desk, etc.)

He told me that he's not happy with my work ethics and if I won't improve my efficiency, I'm fired.

So I took the papers and showed them to his boss. I told her that I'm not happy with my managers work ethics and his efficiency might be better if he didn't watch 17 hours of CCTV footage to spy on an employee. She was terrified (it would've been a rock solid lawsuit for me - but I love my job) and we had to search for a new manager. Also, my salary was raised.

- CrazyHussarHU

Showing Up At The House

My boss, John, would show up at my house after work hours to discuss work stuff. When I asked him to stop, he tried to fire me. When at the HR meeting the following day, I explained my story and showed them the video from my door camera.

They literally go "John, we've talked about this" and asked me to leave the meeting. 2 hours later he walks out and announces that he's leaving.

- comradetbm

Customer Surveys

I worked in a call center for a computer manufacturer. Sometimes my manager would take calls when we were short staffed, or just simply overloaded with calls, and anytime he did he was just relentlessly rude to the customers. It was a tech support job, and he often sounded like Roy from the IT crowd if you've ever seen it. He would berate customers that didn't understand computers (and we had a LARGE number of elderly callers that just didn't understand) literally calling them stupid, yelling at them because they couldn't figure out where something was, etc...

Eventually it would get to the point where callers would hang up on him because he was so mean to them. He'd put in his support ticket as "user error" or something along those lines, and continue on to the next call. After a particularly rough couple of weeks due to a botched software roll out, I started getting several calls myself from people saying that they had spoken to a really rude guy, and if they heard his voice they would just hang up.

Any time I got one of these calls and the boss wasn't next to me, I started telling the callers that I would send them a survey linked to the ticket that he had submitted for them and they could report how he treated them. This was actually the policy at the time so I was technically just doing my job.

I went in to work one day and this guy's desk was totally cleaned out and his computer was gone.

I talked to another manager that I was friends with, and she told me that there was a mysterious influx of negative surveys, so HIS boss (the big boss) decided to listen to some of his phone calls to see what was going on. After just a few, he called him in and fired him. He had been at this company for like 15 years, and his seniority was apparently keeping him from getting his calls reviewed, so he just took advantage.

I never told anyone I was the guy sending the surveys.

- Mallos42

Just Bob Being Bob

I worked in a cafeteria as a catering coordinator.

They had a manager who would stand up against the wall by the female cashiers and "observe" them...making sure they were doing their staring at their asses at all.

It made them uncomfortable, so they complained to their supervisor. She said - yeah a she..that that was "Just Bob being Bob."

Now this was for a large government funded broadcaster, so I went to HR and told them about it. They senT someone down for 3 days straight to get lunch and "observe" him.

They confronted him with proof and fired him.

Then they brought in the cashier's supervisor and asked if she ignored complaints from staff. She at first denied it, but they had proof; so she was fired at the same time.

- Wencar

Topless Beaches

I was a contractor for a big wireless carrier. I worked in IT along with a team of about 5 other people and our boss. Our boss was kind of a dude-bro, young, loud and liked to joke around a lot. 3 of the people on the team were young women.

We were in a team meeting and the boss was talking about his upcoming destination wedding and was discussing the topless beaches there. I forget the exact context, but he said something along the lines of 'Take your tops off ladies!' and then 'Get your phones out guys!'

He was kidding (I think?) but I could see that the women were super uncomfortable, it was gross and inappropriate, and the joke went on a lot longer than it needed to.

He left that weekend for his wedding. I called HR to complain.

When he got back a couple weeks later, we were having kind of a follow-up meeting with him and the team. His blackberry rings, and he says 'Hey, I need to step out, corporate wants to talk to me.' He sounded worried.

He was back like 4 hours later and says 'I'm no longer your guys' boss on this project.' And I never saw his fat frat boy ass again.

- ichegoya

Green Steak


I am a chef.

I came into work on the 1st of January a few years ago after having a few days off. Most of the main items for the menu had gone bad. So I went to the manager and told them I could only serve a few things off of the menu until things were re-ordered. He was cool with it. Later that day we counted the stock to throw away.

The head chef came in at this point and went crazy. He actually the spoiled food back in the fridge to serve. I showed him the green steak, he said it was fine! It was green! Green is not fine! He then texted all the kitchen staff to say I was under disciplinary action, I laughed so hard.

He was sacked the next day. His total food cost waste was 4 grand or something in a 4 month period. I did/didn't get him sacked. I certainly complained - but he mostly did it to himself.

- blacksteelgajeel52


I went to the owners and told them the manager had pinned more than one girl against the wall to try and kiss them. They asked me to find it on the cctv so they can get rid of him - and they actually did.


- Lifes_a_Dream

Police And The Panty Check

I was a police officer for almost 10 years and one night I was talking to the desk sergeant who was a real dick and everyone hated him. In comes one of the patrol guys who has just arrested a couple for "open lewdness" - a polite way of saying he caught them screwing in a park.

The couple is insisting they weren't doing anything wrong, and the patrol guy says "Ma'am, I saw your vagina." She replies "I'm wearing underwear, you can't have seen my vagina!" and they start arguing over whether the woman is wearing underwear or not.

Eventually the woman grabs her skirt like she's about to pull it over her head and says "DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY UNDERWEAR?" and everyone in the room yells "NO!" at her.

The thing is, as a cop it's an almost 100% certainty that every person you arrest is going to make at least a half-assed effort at filing a complaint about the fact that they were unjustly "arrested while minding their own business." Obviously "then they forced me to display my bare vagina" is a future sound bite that nobody wants to be a part of.

So the desk sergeant comes up with the idea that we will do a panty check, but have a female officer do it. Problem is there's no female officer on duty.

So then he comes up with the bright idea to request a random female civilian off the street perform the check...and at this point I stepped up to him and suggested that this was not a good idea. He appreciated my questioning his decision about as much as a dog likes lemons and put me in my place.

So I sat down to see how this unfolded. That's when I realized that from where I'm sitting, I can clearly see up the woman's skirt to her bright yellow panties. The arresting officer couldn't have seen what he claimed. She was right. She was absolutely wearing panties.

Now I know I can shut this whole thing down. I stepped up to the desk sergeant and said "I need to speak to you privately, and quickly" and he yelled at me, saying:

"You need to get the f*ck out of my station and out to your patrol area!" I told him I was on it and went on my way.

The next day I discovered the totally predictable outcome had come to pass. He had, in fact, gotten a random stranger to perform a panty check on the woman. The female stranger confirmed the panties - and she was also deeply morally offended at the indignity the poor woman had been subjected to. Complaints were filed all around with every person present being named...except me; because I'd been ejected from the station house prior to the main event.

We had a new desk sergeant the next day, and I didn't see the old one again for like 2 years. Eventually ran into him doing classroom training. He was super friendly, and missing a stripe of rank. I wondered what he was playing at until I realized he didn't even remember I was there that night, and had no idea that I could have saved him from his misguided course of action, but that I let him burn his own career down because he was an assh*le who didn't deserve to hold rank.

- McFeely_Smackup

Cake Making Theif

Told my bosses at Baskin Robbins to check the security surveillance at a certain time. I saw our assistant manager/cake maker was stealing cash. I honestly hated the guy. Not sorry, Calvin.

- ShotCollier

Graphic Novel

My boss texted me a "graphic novel" he was writing about coworkers raping each other. I showed it to the owner. Boss was fired. Pretty weird stuff.

- Myawesomeself

Brand New Cadillac


I worked in management at a call center. The director suddenly withheld all yearly bonuses/raises for management and cut out all overtime. He made reps work through lunch, but bought $5 pizzas and gave everyone 2 slices to eat while taking calls.

Of course he still docked paychecks to reflect a lunch taken. He showed up to work 2 months later in a brand new Cadillac. I called the corporate HR office and let them know everyone's paychecks decreased and he came to work in a brand new f*cking Cadillac.


- D0kk3n

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.