There are always things in life we don't want to hear. The flip side is also true. And then there are all the things we didn't know we needed to hear.
Whatever they are, they can affect you deeply, for better for worse, as we learned when Redditor xD_HotDog asked: "What is something someone said to you that hit you the hardest?"
"You are not good enough."
You are not good enough. Heard that a lot as child, and now whenever ppl by action or subtly say that I am not xyz it hurts. Makes me feel like an afterthought, like I will always come second and No matter what I do I will fail.
"We broke up..."
We broke up because of you.
Not said directly to me but I overheard some guys on my track team talking sh!t about me (they didn't know I was standing there). They weren't even friends of mine, but I was doing very well on the team that year and earned a spot on the varsity team which is something that had never happened to me before. These guys were saying I didn't deserve to be there, and that really screwed me up, as I'm a pretty shy, quiet guy and usually don't elicit that kind of reaction out of people.
"I've always had trouble..."
I've always had trouble expressing my emotions. Because of this a couple months ago my friends called me an ahole who lacks any and all empathy. That stung quite a bit.
My mother once told me "I think you've been miserable your entire life," in regards to my depression. It may sound like a horrible thing to hear, but she was not trying to upset me. She was basically saying, you've done everything you can by yourself to try to get out of this depression, but I think it's always been there, so you need help.
"There's nothing that..."Giphy
"There's nothing that you can do that will ever make me want you" - my mom. So I did what I could to make me want myself.
"After the birth..."
After the birth of my first child at age 17, my aunt told me, "This is your responsibility. This child didn't ask to be here. Didn't ask for you as a mother, didn't ask for him as a father. It's going to be hard, but it's not his fault he is here." Really made me step up and try my hardest to be a good mother. I hear her voice every time I see a news story about child abuse or neglect.
"Granted, I was in high school..."
"No one wants to be around someone whose sad and blames others all the time"
Granted, I was in high school and trying to get attention and some girl said it to me after I was doing my whole "nice guy" rant.
After that I took it upon myself to change and haven't fallen back into that mindset since.
EDIT* I should clarify, the girl who told me this was someone I had a lot of classes with and we knew one another fairly well.
I was being a "nice guy" in the sense of trying to be manipulative by trying to get sympathy from them.
I thankfully saw how I was acting and did a complete 180° once I realized it. It's been about 15 years and I'm in my 30s now and have been a lot happier and am happily married to a wonderful woman!
"When I turned 18..."
When I turned 18, I rebelled and became a pretty bad drug addict. It broke my parents' heart. Even after I went to rehab and cleaned up, my dad wouldn't tell me he loved me or that he was proud of me. He's ex military and grew up with a very hard ass alcoholic as a father.
It wasn't until my husband (fiance at the time) called him before our wedding and told him that all I ever wanted to hear was that he loved me and that even though I spent a good chunk of my 20s f---ing up, to hear he was proud of me for cleaning up, moving forward in life, and becoming successful.
Since that phone call, my dad and I talk every day and I think we tell each other that we love eachother about four times before we end up hanging up. Today he told me I was a beautiful mother to my children. I've always held him in the highest regard. I still struggle with alcoholism, but he stays by my side and roots me on...
Now, I am sure to let my kids know how proud I am of them and how much I love them.
This happened when I was either 6 or 7.
Mom: Why are you always hugging me?
Me: Cause you're my mom!
Mom: Yeah, or you just want to feel my breasts.
20 years later and that still bothers me, cause that was the first time I ever felt ashamed/dirty but I couldn't understand why.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: