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People Reveal The Dumbest Way They Have Ever Injured Themselves

Sometimes walking and talking can be hazardous to one's health. Heck, just walking and breathing can be a detriment. We're not always on guard from injury 24/7, how can we be? Danger lurks around every corner. Some of us are just prone to falling down and causing a spectacle. The world is full of so many lovely distractions. I'm not able to see every step or car or person. I'm too busy updating my romance app. Hello.

Redditor u/itsoscilatingagain wanted everyone to fess to those moments that are shameful and oh so hilarious by asking.... What is the dumbest way you injured yourself?


Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

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Dropped a bottle of shampoo in the shower, bent over to get it, sneezed, slipped and gave myself a concussion. JimmyL2014

I did something similar when I was 10. Bent over in the shower, hit my head on the door handle on my way up. Knocked myself out and I fell through the glass door. Not my finest moment. CassyOoo

Not the Face. Never the Face! 

Assumed a stapler was empty because I saw someone attempt to use it, then they put it back (it was jammed) tried to trick my mate into thinking i was gonna staple my face... miraculously un-jams and to a group of people it looks like I just felt like stapling my face. vipervsrabbit

Swing Low! 

The only black eye I've ever had... I gave to myself while playing wii boxing. Won the game though! oogilyboogilytoo

I accidentally punched myself in the face/nose 2 weeks after a nose job, barely 4 days after I got the splint off. That was fun. eventhestarsburn

Broken Limbs....

I forgot that I had legs, so I slammed the car door while my leg was between. eipeif

I've posted this somewhere else, but when I was a kid I had the habit of closing doors on my arms and/or legs. So one day, I was super focused on ya know... not doing that, so I was paying a lot of attention to the location of my limbs. In the process of doing this, I forgot about this other really important thing - my head. Slammed my head in the door. Real slick. cloud_brick

Eyelid Fail!

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My eye was cold so I put a big round Christmas light that had been on for awhile on my eyelid and burnt my eyelid. My step sister was the only one who watched it play out and just said from across the room, "Um what the f**k!" blackmidianxiety

The car is like a coffin! 

Slammed my finger in the top of the door to my jeep. I was stuck and I couldn't pull it out, had locked the door, and dropped my keys at the same time. It was really hurting. I was just able to reach my keys and unlock the door. It hurt so bad. Nail turned black and blue and eventually fell off. eac555

Leave the Stick... you're not a dog! 

I found a big stick in a field and threw it like a javelin. I didn't think about the fact that it was L shaped so it hit me in the back of the head and I fell over. leest

I was pushing on a dead tree with a quad to try and knock it down for firewood and a branch broke off, skimmed my head, and tore my ear. That was a fun thing to explain at the ER. Rust_Dawg

Golf ids Risky! 

Watched my grandfather cut open a golf ball to show me what the core looked like. After he did it, 7-year old Ricky decided to replicate the feat.

Some Key differences:

1: he put it in a vise. I used my soft fingertips.

2: he used a power saw of some kind (I don't remember, I was 8). I had my dad's handsaw.

Needless to say, the shape of the golf ball and my inexperience with tools led to more blood than I had ever seen in my short life. RistaRicky

Beware the blade.... any blade! 

I was using a butter knife to scrape excess wax out of a little glass Christmas candle. The glass shattered. The knife went right into my palm. Blood everywhere. Yep, I stabbed myself with a butter knife. larebareblog

I cut my top thumb tendon via knife stab. They had to cut the wound bigger so they could reach the ends of the tendon. I remember that you could see the shape my tendon through my thumb skin because it got fatter due to the fact that it wasn't stretched out anymore. Like how a rubber band gets thinner when you stretch it. Anywho, pretty traumatizing but I do have a cool lightening bolt shaped scar now. _Mynameis_JUDGE_

A pop is never good....

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My dad tore his ACL putting on a sock. Was sitting on the bed, went to cross his legs to put the sock on, ACL just popped. tcguy71

See, this is what happens when you don't warm up first!! Licensedpterodactyl

Oil is a Weapon.....

I heated up my pan of oil and lazily plopped my steak in my cast iron pan. Sprayed hot oil all over my face. Thank God I have glasses, had some splotches right where my eyeball would be.

WHAT an Idiot I was right then. TabascohFiascoh

I Believe I can Fly!!

When I was 8 I was swinging on a swing and I had an idea to jump off it. I jumped too late, flew 2 meters in the air and landed on my right arm. I couldn't move this arm for a week. M1ODEK

My twin bro and I used to jump out of swings all the time! One time, we built sand castles to use as targets. The sand on our hands made it much harder to grip the chains. Twin Bro ended up falling backwards out of a swing, landing on his wrist, and breaking it.

We were then prohibited from jumping out of swings, which just meant we couldn't do it when Mom was around and we had to use other excuses to explain any injuries (usually scraped knees, because shorts). insertcaffeine

Getting Raked....

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Trod on a rake cartoon-style, so it stood up and hit me in the face. Twice. The same day. SpoonhorseNice

! I did this with a shovel, just once though. Got whammed in the face with the handle while climbing out of a ditch. ChipsAndTapatio

My sister did this to a pitchfork, she still has a scar on the top of her foot. I don't know how it happened. Trey5169

Don't use just anything! 

I was around 11/12 years old. I was in the "I wonder what stuff I can use to assist in jerking off" stage. So I was taking a shower and I see the different lotions and such so I figure I give it the old college try. So I take some shampoo and I start using that. It didn't work that well. "Oh well" I thought. Finished my shower and got out.

The next morning I wake up and go to the bathroom. OUCH. All the skin on my penis was BURNING. CRACKING. Severe pain all over. Peeing was not fun. Getting an erection was the worst. I had no idea what was wrong. But of course fear kept me from getting help. I did eventually asked my dad, he wasn't able to tell much other than nothing was seriously wrong. I showered again. I was fine.

The problem? I forgot to wash the shampoo off my penis. cricket9818

Never look down the Barrel! 

Back in the day when you pumped up nerf guns, I was in the toy store checking them out. I pumped one up until it wouldn't pump anymore. when it wouldn't fire, what did i do? looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger of course. caught a suction cup dart right in the eye, point blank. original_4degrees

Of all things... Scope?

I burned my urethra because I had run out of soap in the shower and figured I could wash my genital area with Scope Mouthwash... let me tell you something...I can still feel the pain 22 years later. It felt like someone poured Lava into my pee hole... don't know what I was thinking. GetaGoodLookCostanza

Getting Nailed... 

When I was like 4 or 5 I was at my babysitters ranch (I lived in Wyoming) and was hanging out with my sister and the 13 year old babysitters son. We always liked to climb up this shed with a wavy tin roof. It rained recently. I slid off. Landed on a rusty nail.

There was a large red gash on my thigh and I still have a (kinda) scar there to this day. lvl69bard

The Best Way Down.... 

In kindergarten our teacher took us to the park that was across the street from the school. In there she devised a contest about who could climb a tree the fastest (yeah... this wasn't a very good school). I won, and since all the rest of the kids were also on the tree I ended up being the highest one. We pretty much looked like this and then this incredibly talented teacher decided, once we were in that position, to do the same contest but this time to see who would get down the fastest.

She underestimated my genius. I won by jumping down and fracturing my arm. Transferred schools very shortly afterwards. Kypt

How are you alive?

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An old friend and I found this old refrigerator in his back yard. Had the bright idea to start hitting it with an axe and sledge hammer for craps and giggles. As it fell I part I attempted to pull the sheet metal off and sliced my the back of my hand. I some how didn't realize I cut my self and got bored so we started throwing a football. About 5 minutes later I felt my leg get all wet and looked down to see my hand wide open and about passed out at the sight of all the blood. 32 stitches later I'm left with a nice scar on my hand. We were like 15 at the time. uselesknowledgeadict

Good Ole Ivy League Fun. 

At a frat party I was so drunk I tried to slide down our two story stairwell and when I went to climb On it I fell off the other side. Somehow didn't break any bones but I couldn't walk right for a week and my entire right thigh was black and blue. Joonthedoomdood

So a normal university kid? green_bin_coon

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In life, sometimes there's wrong and "technically not wrong" - and the difference can often be hilarious.

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