People Reveal How They Discovered Their Parents Were Insane Later In Life

Long time readers have heard me talk about my family before, and will know that I grew up in the church. Now when I say "in the church" I don't mean going to church a lot. I mean ... like ... making church. Behind the scenes production team kind of stuff. My parents were both ministers, and I spent six days a week in church as a default setting. Meaning if I wasn't at school or out specifically doing something else, I was in church.

I didn't like it. At all. But it never struck me as potentially toxic or damaging to me. That didn't happen until I was an adult.

Now I'm not saying religious upbringings are all bad, or that minister's kids can't be healthy happy people - but holy sh*tsnacks did my life lack balance! I had no friends outside of the kids of other church officials (there weren't very many.) I was often unsupervised for hours at a time in a room in a church where tons of other adults had total access to me. It didn't end well all the time. On a good night I would fall asleep in a pew somewhere and one of my parents would wake me up to take me home when they were done. On a bad night... you can research statistics and make some informed guesses.

Lack of sleep is incredibly damaging to children. I was subject to insane expectations and pressure because everything I did/didn't do was seen as a direct reflection of my parents and the church. Mistakes were not allowed. I had no time to gain any social skills or real-world knowledge, but I was intellectually quite advanced so I started high school at 12 years old and was the perfect victim for older, bigger, less naive classmates. My parents were hyper-focused on church and totally blind to how it hurt me. I stopped going as soon as adulthood allowed and almost never go back.

Again, I'm not saying church was toxic, I'm saying my parent's hyper-focus on it with no regard to their child was toxic. It wasn't purposeful or malicious. My parents adore me! It was honestly just batsh*t insane.

Reddit user u/RehmanAbraham asked:

What did your parents/family do that you later realized was insane?

And yeah, this came to mind immediately, so I read through to see what other people's experiences have been. Turns out, I'm totally not the only one who looked back as a grown-up and went "... wtf?"

Here are some of the more popular responses.

Mom's Tent

When my mother "left" my dad, she pitched a tent in my walk-in closet. I was 7 or 8 and she lived in my closet for months before she got her own place. I still remember her reading her Joyce Meyer books by lamplight.

- PriestsOfHiroshima

Howling With Duke


We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere (at least 35 mins to the nearest grocery store.) I am not sure how it started, because I was a kid; but any time our puppy dog howled, we would all howl. Loudly. To the point that it was a deafening sound and would kind of make your ears rattle.

His name was Duke. I would occasionally howl first because then he would follow and then so would my mother, father, and two older brothers. I thought it was awesome and it felt invigorating to do. I now realize this is odd.

- AnonyMissMe

The 1997 Computer Incident

On the day my dad decided to buy our family's first PC, he loaded me and my younger sisters into the back of our little two door Honda and drove the 20 minutes to the store.

After purchasing the computer, my dad realize there wasn't enough room in our tiny car for three children, car seats, and the giant 1997 computer. So he LEFT US at the store, apparently thinking that if he bought us all candy bars, that'd be enough to keep a 5, 3, and 2 year old occupied and out of trouble. He took the new computer home and then turned around to come back and get us, having left us alone for easily 40 minutes

- jadecourt

Matchmaker Mom

My mom was always very invested in our romantic lives, partly because that was an area where we didn't stack up well as compared to our cousins. The most insane manifestation of this was when I agreed to go out on a date with a guy, only to find out before the date that he was a predator.

Mom flipped out trying to convince me not to cancel the date. "You don't know if you don't give him a chance!"

Thankfully, my dad was on my side and I cancelled the date. But Mom sulked the entire rest of the night and demanded I log her in to my Facebook account so she could scroll through my friends list so that she could see which of my male friends were straight and single so that she could push me towards them instead.

- blueeyesredlipstick

Locked In Our Room For Hours

My brother and I would be locked in our room for hours at a time and told to be absolutely silent. Went on for a few years.

One morning I woke up super early, earlier than normal, and was hungry. So I went to ask my mom for oatmeal. I open the bedroom door, and my mom is rubbing the back of a shirtless, sleeping man who is NOT my dad. Mom panics, jumps out of bed and gently pushes me out of the room. I kinda stand in the kitchen confused, when my dad comes in from another part of the house and asks wtf I'm doing, and sends me back to my room.

They finally divorced a couple years ago, and my mom confided that my dad made her sell herself to pay the bills for a while when we were kids.

A lot of memories made sense after that.

- Kawaii_Kajira

Murder Weapon For The PB&Js

My parents visited underground Atlanta back in the early 90's. Not the safest place. Anyways, my brother was a baby and crawled under a bench they were sitting on. He pulled out an umbrella bag with a very sinister knife inside.

My parents don't report the knife or anything, but instead KEEP it and it becomes a staple knife in our kitchen. So yea, pretty sure my parents used a murder weapon to cut the crust off our pb&js.

- lilbatboy

Third World Countries


When I was in 6th grade (I think) my mom decided we needed to understand what it was like for people in third world countries. We ate oatmeal for breakfast, beans and rice for lunch, could have one fruit for a snack, and beans and rice plus some romaine lettuce for dinner. All of this for a month, and we were only allowed 3 cheat meals.

In high school looking back I just thought she was batsh*t nuts. But once I started having bills and such of my own it occurred to me, my parents were just that broke. They just didn't want us to think of it that way, so they tried to make it into some lesson. Damn do I love those two people.


The Babysitter

I was seven and my brother was five (during the early 80's). We were told to wait in the school parking lot for the babysitter to pick us up. Thing is, we never met her before and had no idea what she looked like. So we waited until a woman pulled up with a picture of us in her hand. She showed us the picture and asked if it was us. We said it was and she told us she's our babysitter. We got in the car without thinking twice. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

- IndianaRedneck

The Scenic Drive

My dad had a bad drinking problem. As a young kid with a drunk for a dad I never really thought about him purposely killing us. He was an angry drunk but mostly verbal abuse. It wasn't unusual for him to go out for a ride after a drunk fight.

He had just gotten into a fight with my step mother and needed a drive to burn off all the alcohol in his system. He drove us twenty minutes into the woods on a sandy trail in a minivan. He didn't say much during the ride. We got stuck (obviously because we were in a 2wd caravan) but luckily some 4wd truck dude came through and winched us out.

When that guy showed up dad wasn't quiet anymore and we left the woods when we were unstuck and went home. I'm not sure what his intentions were that day but this was the only time he took some of his kids with him. I'm guessing that's what had my stepmother so upset. The look on my stepmothers face when we returned made me rethink whether it was a fun ride in the woods or a "f*ck this life" moment worthy of the nightly news that I had just narrowly averted.

- TodayWeMake

Dad's Therapist 

Throughout my childhood I would end up being my dad's therapist. He'd often tell me he sometimes wished he would go to sleep and never wake up. A bit heavy for a 12 year old to hear from their parent I guess.

After I became a teen and could drive, he'd call me in the middle of the night while I was at my mom's house and ask me to rush over because he was sick and needed help. I spent a lot of nights feeding him jello and sitting awake in his room so he could sleep because his medication would make him hallucinate and think demons were going to kill him in his sleep.

It wasn't until I was older I realized I missed a lot of my childhood because I had to parent him instead of the other way around.

Eventually he found a wife who takes care of him and cut me out of his life. Apparently he tells her stories about how I never spent time with him and never cared because she sends me rants about how awful I am.

- KaLunaMatata

Email Scams


My dad fell victim to many money scams in the early 2000s. He would always say he's sitting on a gold mine and I thought we were gonna be rich. Yeah I don't think he's learned his lesson, I still catch him replying to bullsh*t emails.

- ozzytheozzy

She Couldn't Just Leave

My dad began doing drugs and drinking crazy amounts of alcohol when I was young. I didn't really notice or think it was strange until I was around 12. All kinds of weird stuff ensued: he peed on my moms dog, broke my kids table, threw a hair dryer at my mom, and more I don't know. My mom and I moved out when I was 15 and I was so excited, but then he decided to go to rehab and I didn't understand why my mom couldn't just leave.

But rehab changed his life, he's like a different person and honestly it's so weird being around him being all nice and stuff now. Still an ass sometimes, but harmless. I'm 20 now, and I think I've moved on from my hate and I love him but idk. Emotions are weird.

- levyboreas

Alex Jones And 4th Grade

When I was still in elementary school I lived with my dad/step-mother. Long story short, thet were extremely racist and homophobic. Racist towards Middle Easterners specifically. This only started when I was 8 and he began to watch Alex Jones almost every day (back in 2013 when Alex Jones had less eyes on him).

The way he explained it made sense to me, an 8 year old with a very manipulable mind. That kind of sucked later on because I had a best friend in 4th grade named Ali, who I found out was Muslim. I, under the manipulated spell of my father, did not know what to do.

I didn't want to ask my dad if having a Muslim friend was okay, because I know how he thinks. He'd pull my ass right out of the school if he knew. And I didn't want to stop being friends with Ali.

To make the rest of a very long story short. I moved to my moms and don't speak to my father often. I haven't spoken to Ali in a while - not because I'm a racist, but moving to my moms meant moving 300 miles away.

Now I do my best to be nice to every one, no matter their beliefs, skin, or sexuality. If any Muslim users read this, I am truly sorry people like my dad exist. And I'm sorry that their prejudices rub off on their children. Maybe someday we can all live together regardless of skin color. Best of luck to those of u who stuck through that long-ass story.

- Paper_Lad

Armed And Unmedicated

My family doesn't believe in mental illnesses despite everyone having one; so little-to-none of us are properly medicated. All of the teen boys are armed to the teeth and have been in trouble with the law...

I'm almost 24 and have been trying to find a way to convince my parents to let me get therapy. (Literally once a week, free. But, I'd have to pay gas money but I can't because I cannot find work so I have no money...)

- Secret_Life_Shh

"There Won't Be A Fire"


My mom would take batteries out of the smoke detectors and put them in the TV remote. When I first noticed her doing that I asked, "What if there's a fire?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "There won't be a fire." So we didn't have smoke detectors for decades.

In 2013 there was a fire and the only reason we didn't die was because my husband noticed it. Everyone was asleep.

- clockworkgirl21


My aunt and uncle had a small doll that the whole family treated as their daughter. Her name was Ramona and we took her everywhere with us. We talked to Ramona as if she was a real person. She had clothes, toys, a bed and she even had her own seat at the table. I knew Ramona since forever and it never crossed my mind that other people didn't do that. I was 25 when i realized that Ramona was a replacement for the child they could never had.

My uncle died 10 years ago and it sort of felt that Ramona died too and my aunt decided to bury her with him so they could be together

- Paulinalinalina

Sweat Time

So growing up, I was a fat kid. My parents would lock me in my room for hours with no food and a cup of water to "sweat the calories out of me."

Where I live, temperatures go from 90-105 degrees. I had no idea what was going on; they just called it "sweat time" and acted like it was a normal thing. So i just rolled with it and played on my ps2.

- peter6828

The Maggots


My family lived on a farm that had lots of farm animals and any animals that died would be tossed into a dumpster and were picked up later for disposal. Of course the rotting animals would attract flies in the meantime. To keep us busy my mom would send my sister and I, with little zip lock baggies, out to collect maggots out of the dumpster FULL OF ROTTING ANIMALS. My mom would then pretend she was making the maggots into rice dishes.

My sister and I would ACTUALLY EAT THIS thinking it was the maggots we collected and were totally fine with it. Didn't find out this was weird until late elementary school.

- ateafrogonce

No Talking

My parents had a strict no talking at the dinner table rule, like not even to ask to pass the salt, not a single word was allowed to be said while we are eating. I grew up with it and just accepted it, I really struggle to do "social dinners" to this day my brain just goes "food time not talk time"

- agirlhas_no_name



My dad didn't like vacuuming so growing up, he'd make me and my brother pick up pieces of lint and fuzz off of the carpet by hand for long periods of time. I prefer tile flooring now to say the least.

- lemonlady7

So what do you look back on and cringe?

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.