IRL

People Reveal The Moment They Realized They Didn't Want To Stay With Their S.O. For Life

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No one would argue with you on the difficulty of relationships. Balancing your own wants and needs with your significant other's can be a tough act, but if the person is worth it in your mind, you'll find a way. When that person isn't worth it, and you're quick enough to recognize it, then you'll want out as fast as you can.


Reddit user, u/bixbygaea, wanted people to share the awful truth when they asked:

[SERIOUS] When and/or how did you realise that the person you were dating (at the time[?]) was NOT the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with?

Like Looking IN An Awful Mirror

Giphy

My husband tells this story about his last ex.

They went to a wedding together where the couple had been together around 10 years. It was a "wedding-themed cookout" on somebody's property out in the country, where they interrupted the festivities for less than 10 minutes for the ceremony. When the bride came walking down the "aisle" (they just asked people to clear a space and stand on either side), the groom was literally bouncing on his toes, he was so excited to be marrying her.

My husband looked at the groom, then looked at his girlfriend, and thought "I'm never going to feel that way about this woman."

IRtheLaw19

All For You, Damien. All For You.

It started feeling like all the compromises we made as a couple were in his favor and I started to resent him.

kellimarissa

Just Think On It For A Bit

Technically happened after we broke up, during the breakup she used "you can't spoil me the way I deserve" as one of the reasons.

That bounced around in my head for a few weeks before it really kind of clicked, and opened my eyes to how unhealthy the relationship had been

Artanis_neravar

Different Goals Are Only Okay For So Long

She wanted kids, 100%.

I love kids, but I love going home after spending time with them more. Thought about this for a year; tried to convince myself I'd be a great Dad (everyone says so). I couldn't take it any more.

We had a good long cry about it, and made the call.

RoboHobo9000

That's A Big Sign

When i found myself typing "signs of abuse in relationships" in google

d_000--r00

Yeah, That'll Do It

My long term boyfriend came out gay while dating me.

We are still good friends 15 years later

shortybubbles

Thank Goodness It Wasn't Monopoly

When he screamed at me, in front of all our friends, over a game of Pictionary.

Dinoscores

Is there more context to why he screamed or was he just being a d-ck?

discomll

Unfortunately that one sentence was pretty much it - he was the one drawing, a few of us were guessing, I said the right answer but he hadn't heard me, I thought it must be wrong and everyone else had heard me too so didn't guess the same answer again. At the end of the turn when we hadn't got the point and he revealed the answer, someone said to me "hey you said that right?" and I nodded, he went off on me for speaking too quietly.

Dinoscores

Don't Ignore That Nagging In The Back Of Your Mind

I realized that after 8 months with my ex-boyfriend. It took a while but my mental health kept declining with him around, he kept nagging on me about sex and his very violent outbursts from small things.

Once I forgot to say "kisses" before ending a phone call with him and he broke his computer screen.

kebaab

Never Be Embarassed

When he told me that he was embarrassed to let his friends and family know about me

jick-magger

Work Over You? Easy.

After being at work for over 12 hours (5AM - 8:00PM), he yells at me as I walk into the living room, "Why can't you look happy when you see me? Dinner isn't even ready."

When I wanted to work another 12 hour shift right then, it was obvious we weren't meant to be.

cookingmiri

A Big Move For Low Return

When I left my entire life and moved to literally the other side of the world to be with her but her insecurities stayed the same and she only seemed to care about having a wedding ceremony above all else.

Zeusspandex

Don't Take It TOO Far

We were playing truth or dare and having a pretty good time. I hit him with, "What would you do without me?" expecting a sweet and light-hearted answer but instead, he got very serious and explained how he would probably kill himself if I ever left him

Mudkiy

Different Behind Closed Doors

He only wanted me for my body. He didn't want to go on dates with just the two of us, he would wanted me to bring our friend group.

We only hung out alone when we were in his home. He was sweet and nice before but then I broke down crying one day because I realized that I am just his playground.

LuckyClover3128

He had anger issues, he would ocassionally burst into rage when we had an argument or a fight (which we had almost everyday) but I always thought I could endure it for love. One day, we had a very bad fight over something very stupid and I was left alone in the middle of an anxiety attack, and for a brief second the question "what if he ever hits me?" crossed my mind.

At that moment, I panicked even more. He was [abusive] already, but he had never hit me, but I was certain that he could, at some point. After that, I simply began to become more distant with him while I continued to think about that. In the end, he cheated on me and broke up with me, and I was so relieved.

Don't be with people who are [abusive] in any way, kids. Don't try to endure it for love, you don't deserve it, regardless of what you've told yourself.

jinfoxie

20 Years Is A Long Time

When I realized that wasting 20 years of my life is much better than wasting the life itself and there is no amount of alcohol that can change that.

Then I divorced my lazy, manipulating, demanding, cheating wife.

gk500

Fool Me Once...

This happened to me twice with two different people - I realized I did everything to make them happy, but they wouldn't do the same.

Both of them literally kept me around for their own happiness. Both of them broke up with me when they realized they couldn't toy with me anymore.

Of course, during the break up I was upset, but if I am honest, I didn't see much future with either of them during the relationship. I was just stupid and wanted to still try and see if it would work out.

ValentineRunaway

It's Never Enough

Probably just when he justified all of his cheating (5 chicks, six months, nothing physical (that I found) but lots of pics/ Skype 'sex' ) by saying I wasn't loving enough to him

We shared a bedroom in a dingy share house, I cooked, cleaned and played the good little housewife I thought I needed to be. he was glued to gaming so badly I was often left struggling with things waiting for him to get off it and help, and told me I was 'too fat' (those exact words used, on our one, and only, anniversary) for him to want sex...despite me weighing almost half what he did.

Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do for someone, they'll find an excuse

MidnightCiggarette

Call You Out In Front Of You Friends

Giphy

At my birthday party I ate a slice of pizza and she yelled at me that I didn't do any situps that day and I can't eat pizza. Everyone there just stopped and looked stunned

daveyhh

Can't Burn The Candle For Them

When I realized that what was required to make her happy was making me miserable and I couldn't keep that up.

Petwins

We are told that, if you're not confident, you should just "fake it til you make it."

This is great--in theory. In practice, sometimes "faking it" can have extremely real and terrible consequences, which these people found out the hardest of hard ways.

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