People Reveal Which Situation They Most Regret Being An A$$hole

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We all have bad moments, bad days, bad phases in life. It's been said that everyone is the villain in someone's story - and sometimes we are the villain even in our own.

Being a flaming turd of a human being happens to the best of us. The important thing is that we are able to recognize it when it happens and learn from it - aaaand maybe also share it on Reddit. Let's be real.

Reddit user TheJawsDog asked:

Looking back, what's a situation in your life when you were the a-hole?

Some of these are hilariously innocent (like the vampire incident) and some of these are absolutely deeply and terribly cringeworthy acts of purposeful meanness. Hopefully, though, everyone has been able to move on to being a better person.

Happy Halloween


A friend brought my group of friends to a bar on Halloween weekend. I was dressed up as a cowboy. I noticed that pretty much everyone else at that bar was dressed as a vampire. I went around and complimented a lot of them on their awesome vampire costumes.

We eventually left and hopped over to another bar. I'm telling my friend i thought it was weird that everyone there had chosen to dress as a vampire. He tells me that we were actually at a goth bar, and none of them were wearing costumes.

- Copious-GTea

Hated It

Moved to live closer to my best friend and work with her. Ended up hating the town, taking it out on her, spending all my energy complaining about how I'd ruined my life and not gave any thought to her feelings. I moved away and we've kinda repaired things but it definitely left an impact and I was 100% in the wrong.

- fiestiier

Because of Religion

I was adopted by lovely and caring parents, but throughout my entire childhood and teenage years I wanted nothing but distance from them for the sole reason that they were religious.

They weren't even the fanatic types. They were incredibly tolerant and respectful towards just about anything and anyone. They had the belief that they not only couldn't judge anyone, but also would be punished if they did.

When I was 11 I told them I didn't want to go to church anymore and then accepted it. I mean, I was 11 and they already respected my decision.

That just made it all the much harder for us to connect at any level. 90% of everything they did was to talk about Jesus and whatnot. In hindsight, I used to be kind of a prick about it, while they were always perfectly calm and friendly, even when I downright offended them.

I lost both of them in a car accident when I was 18.

Now I see that whether someone is religious or not, old or not, male or female or neither, black or white, from your country or a foreigner, being jerk is just that, being a jerk, where you come from and your general philosophy of life can't really do much to make it better or worse.

No matter how right you think you are, don't be a jerk!

- Lufernaal

The Paper Towel Compulsion

I think about this pretty often honestly. I had to be about 7 or 8. I'm in the mall with my mom and sister and it is just about closing time. On our way out of a department store we stop at the bathroom before the ride home. My mom sends me into the men's room on my own. Nobody in the bathroom. For some reason my stupid little brain thinks "I'm gonna poop on a bunch of paper towels and slap it against the mirror....".

I try to think back to why I would ever have this compulsion and I got nothin'. Having since worked many service jobs over the years I am profoundly sorry to that custodian.

- SummitOfKnowledge

To Look Cool

When my best friend was bullied I sometimes joined along, wanting to look cool in front of the "cool kids."

- Derolyon

I remember feeling so betrayed when my best friend turned on me in second grade so she could be cool. I went to gifted school part time so I was bullied heavily at regular school. I also had an abusive dad so I cried a lot when they bullied so that didn't help. One day she just joined in and soon after told me she's not my friend anymore. She was the first betrayal in a long line of "best" friends being a-holes to me. That leaves a mark.

- Complexology

I have been on the receiving end of this and man does it suck. My first "boyfriend" threw me in some bushes in front of his friends and called me "vaca muy gorda" - which translates to "very fat cow" I guess.

I am a big girl so it stung. He thought it was so funny. After I dumped him, I went on to have body issues some 20+ years later and refused to date guys who said they liked me because I was sure they were going to do something similar.

- LydierBear

"Nice Guy"

I used to pull that nice guy bull. Ask a girl out, get rejected, desperately plead my case about how nice I was even though trying to guilt trip your way into a date is not a nice thing to do at all, then get frustrated when she avoided me and unfriended me on Facebook. Pretty embarrassing to look back on, but if you can't look back and realize you were a total a-hole sometimes, you're probably still one.

- ElToberino

Sprinkled Quarters


When I was a teen I went to a restaurant with several of my friends. We had been at an arcade earlier so I had a pocket full of quarters. My tip that night was quarters sprinkled in glasses, in food, and on plates. Thought it would be funny, but I look back on it now and it wasn't. It's something for which I'm deeply ashamed and it fills me with regret every time I think of it. Now I am extremely nice to the wait staff.

- Tzaddik_1726

The Christmas Losers

Setting up for a huge artisan trade show that involved a massive vetting process (It was very difficult to be selected) - we had a day to set up, and as we're all working our butts off trying to make the BEST display of our goods, one booth across from us remained a total ghost town, to the horror and shock of the rest of us 'hard working' artisans.

Fast forward to the opening day of 10 days of this massive Christmas artisan show (as in HUGE!!) and the empty booth owners show up, set up a basic Costco table and dump cardboard boxes around - we're all rolling our eyes and snickering at this point, I mean...come on??? What LOSERS???

Yeah...those 'losers' were selling authentic Peruvian sweaters and hats - sold out in 3 days, packed up their Costco table, humbly leaving with WAY more than we could ever hope to make. Meanwhile, the rest of us schmucks had to kiss butt and keep our pathetic grins on for another 7 days.

I will forever look back on that experience as a lesson of making assumptions and being a total ass. Which I was.

- AliCracker

Sorry Omar

Definitely the time my friends and I bullied the new kid on the block. Nothing physical, but we made fun of him and excluded him for not having a scooter. Then one day he showed up with a new scooter and we bullied him for having a cheapo one.

Years later it became apparent that his family wasn't as well off as ours. None of us realized we were picking on the poor kid, and when the family bought him the trendy toy, it just wasn't good enough for us. We were mean to him and I feel awful about it. Sorry, Omar.

- Rezzone

An Alien

Back in 7th grade, this really shy girl used to have a HUGE crush on me. Her friends told me she would leave PE early to go to the changing room in order to look pretty for the next class that were both in. Then, her friends kept asking for me to talk to her and ask her out but I refused because to me, "she looked like an alien". Unfortunately, her friends told her and she was devastated. I was honestly just stating why I didn't want to "date" her but I realized how mean and terrible my comments were. I apologized to her for being an insensitive jerk and she forgave me. We managed to become friends in 8th grade and all throughout high school. I still feel bad about whenever I think of her.

- Jatni5370

The World's Cringiest Breakup

My first boyfriend and I started dating in high school. We were absolutely inseparable as we'd been best friends for years before we started dating. We were there for each other through the death of a parent and a sibling, and so many firsts. We were going to live in the same dorm in college the next year. A pair, for sure.

Our senior year I decided I wanted to go to prom with some random guy that I'd developed a crush on during our senior trip. Because we'd been friends so long, I decided that instead of breaking up with him (which felt cold-hearted) I'd soften the blow by just being incredibly mean to him. This way he wouldn't be as upset when I finally told him.

I was HORRIBLE to him for DAYS - just didn't let up. Everything he did was wrong. Nothing was funny. His new haircut was ugly. Why was he so stupid? I finally said something that broke him while we were watching a movie one night and he asked why I was being so awful. I decided that then was the best time to tell him that I was breaking up with him, specifically because I wanted to go to prom with someone else, who I barely knew. He started sobbing, which teenage brain could NOT understand. I kept asking why he was so upset, but he wouldn't tell me.

It turns out that after years of friendship, I'd blindsided him with the world's cringiest breakup, on his birthday, which I'd completely forgotten. 20 years later I still wake up in the middle of the night feeling guilty about it.

- SheeshOnALeash

The Dead Dad

When I was in elementary school there was this kid who lost his father to cancer during the school year. One day after he came back to school (can't remember how long after) we got into some sort of dispute on the playground. I don't remember exactly how it came to me saying "at least my dad isn't dead" but that's exactly what came out of my mouth. I spent the day in the principals office. To this day this is one of the biggest regrets of my life and I'm 23. I still feel terrible about it because I never got to apologize to the kid because we moved away shortly after. I don't even remember his name but I'll never forget saying that.

- unclecactus

Project Manager

Many years ago I was just starting out on a new position as a project manager. Things weren't going smoothly on this project, not really in anyone's control but it added stress to myself and my team.

One day one of my teammates made a minor and fixable error, but I still screamed at them in front of about 10 people (all employees). Like a good 2 min tirade about what a mistake they were. They were a summer student, making minimum wage and I just laid into them. The worst part is they made the mistake because *I* labeled something incorrectly. It was really *my* mistake.

10 years later I still manage small to medium teams and I think about that moment a lot. It reminds me to keep my cool in stressful situations and you can provide discipline without being an a-hole. Also, owning up to your own mistakes as a leader I feel actually helps the team grow long term and establishes trust with your employees.

- Dubscityg



My BFF and I have a GIF we send on the first day of our periods, the one from The Shining with the elevator doors opening and the blood everywhere. After her first miscarriage I spaced and sent that to her and have hated myself ever since. Pretty sure she doesn't remember, but I'll never forget.

- Quickerier


Was hammered at a bar; the bar server was called Tommy - I was making him say "Tommy want wingy" whilst waving cash in his face (it was his tip.)

Sober me realized I looked like a huge ass that would have only tipped if he said what I wanted.

- pyth0ns

The Muslim Kid

Made fun of a kid for being Muslim. Pretty sh*t thing to do.

- ChineseJoe90

I'm No Help

It wasn't quite long ago, maybe early last month. I was coming back from a friend's place and I saw a girl who I knew was staying close to my place but we actually don't talk. She was carrying a ton of luggage in both hands including a cooking gas (it looked like she was just coming back to school after the semester break) and she was sweating like crazy. She looked like she needed all the help she could get.

We actually locked eyes and I think she was expecting me to help her, but I didn't. To make matters worse I actually walked almost side by side with her without saying a word to her or even helping her with stuff. I just let her struggle with everything while I walked next to her empty-handed.


- teniolasmart

R.I.P. Mom

My mom was really sick for a few years and it was just part of my life and something I was used to. I was sitting in her room while she napped, browsing the internet on our laptop and talking with friends on AOL. I spent 45+ minutes whining and complaining about how weird the sounds she was making while she slept were and how I hated her snoring and just a lot of really awful things to say about your mom (I was 14).

I stood up to go get water and glanced at her and saw she was laying in a puddle of vomit in bed. The sounds I was hearing was the oxygen tubes blowing bubbles into her vomit. The snoring was air from the oxygen machine pushing out. At some point in the time I was sitting there in her room complaining about her, she'd died in her sleep. No idea how long.

She obviously never knew about my sh*tty attitude, but I felt awful for ages. I still look back on that time and think about what a little prick I was to her and my step dad.

- halfbakedrock

Mean Guys

When I was in school, my friend group consisted of 3 guys and me. None of our conversations were about anything other than basically roasting other people. We'd even go over and talk to "weird" people and act completely normal and nice to them but then when we were alone we would just go over the "session" and take the piss out of the person.

It did make me a bit uncomfortable, but I just went along with it. Looking back I really was the equivalent of one of those popular mean girls in American high school movies.

- hoejoexo

"Constructive Criticism" 

When I was a kid I would always have "constructive criticism" for my mum about her cooking.

"This would be better like this."

"Something doesn't taste right."

But once I moved out I realized that cooking for myself is quite a lot of effort and I usually just put something in the microwave or in the oven. She would put in a couple hours of effort EVERY DAY only for me to complain about it.

- The-Insomniac

The Glass

I dropped a glass in my back garden and didn't bother cleaning it up. My dog was running outside and stepped on the broken glass. We had to take her to the vet to get it removed. I had never felt like a bigger piece of crap in my life.

- guitarmaniac004


Harassed a female friend due to being lonely. I texted her to no end and when she didn't reply, my anxiety would trigger and it caused me to text her even more while trying to explain that I wasn't in a good place in that period of time.

Caused the friendship to crumble entirely and I may or may not have left her with some trauma because of me harassing her. I've tried to make amends since I deeply regret the stupid things I did; but I don't think she will end up forgiving me for this and I'm worried if I keep reaching out it'll be just harassing her more.

- wahissover

Chuck E. Cheese


When I was like 12 I was at chuck e. cheese and I did the ultimate assh*le move. I took tickets from a machine that someone had won, and the little girl came back and caught me. I said something mean to her (I can't remember, but it was really bad) and took the tickets and took off.

She bought her grandma with her to see what she won. If I could go back, I'd slap the hell out of younger me and give them back. If she's somehow reading this, I want to apologize for my behavior. 76 tickets from the monkey climbing game that's near impossible to win. You know who you are, and now you know who I am.

I apologize.

- Sthepuma

Phobic Irony

When I was a part of GamerGate, and heavily transphobic.

Ironic, because I'm now both heavily into social justice and also trans.

- Andreus

WTF Was Wrong With Me? 

I was in the hospital for a while as a kid. I had some terrible habits like stealing puzzle pieces from the other kid in the hospital room and washing them down the toilet to feel good about myself. Also dissolving toothpaste in their clothes. Some f'd up stuff, I know. Also some animal torture like squashing frogs with boulders and kicking cats around. It felt 'exciting' back then but I always look back with a 'WTF was wrong with me' look on my face.

- Daggerforce


My grandpa was very sick and was prepping to undergo surgery. My parents told me and my sister that he would be fine soon, but in reality he only had few week left to live. I was too busy playing video games and was very entilted and angry at that time. I had a few of those moments a month, when I was getting so angry that I acted out against my family because of the anger.

I was 16 at that time.

So one day after surgery my sister came into my room with grandpa, which was pretty big achievement since he could barely walk. She playfully said "look who made it heeeeere."

I just got very angry because they interrupted me and shouted: "GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE!"

It was one of the last times my grandpa was able to move without being carried in someone's arms and one of the last moments when he was still rational.

That thing haunts me and I still regret it 8 years after. It was probably worst thing I have ever done.

- ezorethyk2

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.