People Reveal That One Unbearably Cringey Thing They Did In The Past That Still Haunts Them.
This article is based on the AskReddit question "Hey reddit, what's that one super cringey or awkward thing you said/did in the past that you keep having flashbacks to?"
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1/28. A friend of mine was going through a rough divorce. When she got married her husband pretty much made her cut ties with everyone, so it had been about ten years since we really talked. She vaguebooked on Facebook about being really down, so I thought it would be funny to link her a song called "Hole Solution" in which the singer graphically describes how the subject of the song needs a hole in his head. "You need a hole in your head, I want to see it come oozing out" is the chorus.
Sooooo... it turns out that the reason she was so down was not because of the divorce, but rather because it was the anniversary of her brother in law's murder.
Yeah, he was shot in the head.
I picked literally the WORST song I know.
2/28. I had a massive crush on this girl in school. I was a bit socially inept back then, so I didn't really know how to ask her out.
I thought the best way to do it was to make it seem like I "accidentally asked her out" or something like that. So I sent a message to her saying "Hey man, want to come see this movie with me tonight?" I pretended as if I meant the text to be for my friend. I waited 15 minutes and texted to her "Oops! Sorry haha. That was meant for my friend."
I waited another 15 or so minutes (for realism) then texted again to her "Well my friend can't come now anyway. Want to come with me instead?"
She never replied. I thought I was being so smooth. I have flashbacks to this whenever I'm making plans with someone.
3/28. I had a principal say "If you die, let me know" as reassurance it was going to be alright when he was applying ointment and a bandage to an injury I had.
9 year old me decided that it would be a good thing to say to my grandma before her surgery.
She made it through without any complications, but I'll never forget the burning look of dissaproval my mom shot at me in that moment.
4/28. When I was in high school I found out my boyfriend at the time had not considered us monogamous and banged a few people (was it cheating? Was it idiotic teenagers with no communication skills? We will never know)
I was livid and somehow thought my best revenge was to drunkenly demand he pay me for the sex we had while he was banging other people. On Facebook. On his wall. Publicly.
I also followed it up with a link to Henry Rollins "Liar" with a "thinking of you" comment attached to it.
I have more where that came from but for now I'll stop there. The poor kid.
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5/28. A spelling bee I participated in when I was in 3rd grade. I was a finalist, and the word was "duty". I spelled it "doodie". The reactions have been embedded in my memory for the remainder of my life.
6/28. This was a couple months ago. I was going to the gas station to get something to drink. I got 2 Sodas for $2. I go to the cash register the cashier says your total is $2.09. I get my wallet out and pull $2 out and I hand her the $2. She says do you have change. I thought the said "do you want your change" and I said yes. We stare at each other for 15 seconds until she says "do you have 9 cents". I look in my wallet again for 9 cents and say no. (I had another dollar in my wallet, but it didn't come to mind to use that for the 9 cents). We stare at each other for another 15 seconds and she says "uhh I guess you can pay me back next time you come by. Took me the ride home to relies what she said.
Haven't been to that store since. Also every time I pass by the store I remember that awkward moment.
7/28. This literally changes every week or so, but I have one in mind.
Last month, it was the moment I had at a coffee shop. The window was lit brightly by the sun, I was sitting near the back, anticipating that a friend would be there at any time.
I saw my friend's silhouette entering. I excitedly stood and rushed toward them, arms wide, loudly cooing our shitty pet name for each other, many people looking up from their tasks to see what the hubbub was about.. I was just so excited.
I'm sure you have guessed, it wasn't my friend. I was halfway through the shop when I realized it, had walked past every single person sitting at their tables.
Instead of quietly returning to my seat, I sputtered out the most guttural, horrific, phlegmy guffaw/laugh I have ever heard, let alone produced. I sprayed spittle on a person's food sitting nearby.
I had fully tilted at this point. I tried to funnily twirl around to return to my seat and ran into a waiter, hard, at which point I announced, in a goofy, bizarre voice that in my head would say "joking" but out loud came across as pure screaming, "SORRY BOUT THAT!!". By this point, almost everyone was staring. The problem was that their expressions weren't even judgmental, they just looked concerned.
I collected my things and left soon after (of course my purse fell off of my shoulder and knocked several things out of my hands on the way out), haven't been back.
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8/28. I used the phrase "so that you can stand on your own two legs" to the girl who had gotten her right leg amputated less than a month earlier.
9/28. I wrote a girl a poem when I was in middle school because I liked her. I occasionally remember lines from it, mostly talking about her hair. It makes me cringe every time because I compared her hair to orange juice.
10/28. When on a phone I was talking to a "service person" of a department store of which I was trying to buy a sala set.
Operator: Good morning, how may I help you?
Me: Morning mam, I am asking for the selling price of the sala set that is offered in the ads? The model 140-BGE?
operator: uhurm. Yes sir, that would be $99.00
Me: Ok mam if I paid online how soon would it be delivered?
operator: It will be delivered within 7 working days.
Me: Thanks mam. I will fill up the online form right now.
operator: Thanks sir, my name's Henry and if you want to call again you can call me and I will assist you for any help when purchasing your items online.
Me: uhh... ohhh... thanks sir.
11/28. I quit my job a few years back in a fit of passion. I went to the bathroom before I left, then went and said goodbye to some coworkers and give a final fuck you to my boss.... In my distracted and emotional state, I didn't realise that I had accidentally tucked the dress that I was wearing into my stockings and didn't realise until I had left the building... so much cringe.
12/28. I was in 8th grade. Like most school kids from the Midwest, A trip to D.C. was part of the middle school experience. About 2 hours into a 24-hour charter bus ride, someone remarked that it was hot and we should open up a window. They were obviously joking, as the windows on a charter bus will open, but should only in an emergency due to the fact that they won't close again without some serious tinkering (like with tools). So me, trying to be helpful and confident for once in my life, decided to open it. I also wanted to impress my crush who was sitting in a nearby seat with my resourcefulness. Yeah. Big mistake. Beyond the obvious embarrassment of being a moron, I had to spend the rest of the trip to D.C. holding the window shut. Sleeping became much more complicated as well. Oh, and as I was holding that big, stupid window shut, freezing my head off from the cool night breeze, I got a front row seat to my crush and some cool guy flirting for the remainder of the drive.
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13/28. 16 year old me on 9/11, feeling all of the "What if I don't have tomorrow" feels, walked right up to the boy I'd been pining over for the past year, hugged him and told him I loved him. He stood there, arms awkwardly at his sides and said nothing. I bolted.
He is now a cashier at the local walmart, where I am forced to shop upon occasion. (Small town.) I still cringe so hard every time I see him even though it was literally half a lifetime ago & I'm happily married with 3 kids. I can't bring myself to go through his line.
14/28. When I was about 7 years old I had a crush on this girl named Victoria. One day, we went to the museum for a field trip. During our lunch break I snuck out and went to the gift shop. I knew she liked ladybugs and there was a ladybug ring, so I bought it for her. Towards the end of lunch I went up to her and gave it to her while she was with her friends. She laughed at my face and threw it away. It broke my heart.
15/28. One day a girl showed up in my church youth group. I introduced myself to her. She was on crutches, and I asked, "Aw, what happened?" She looked back at me and said, "Well, my leg was amputated last week." I looked down. Yup, no leg. Way to be observant, me.
I believe I responded with, "Oh, I'm sorry, well, uh, welcome," then I walked away and hid in the bathroom.
16/28. Basically everything my 9th grade self posted on Facebook.
One in particular came after I told a friend about the girl I had a crush on (which was basically the equivalent of giving him the nuclear launch codes as far as I was concerned). I got super paranoid and wrote an anonymous post basically saying "You know who you are keep your mouth shut."
The kicker is that the girl I liked (still like, unfortunately) messaged me being all like "Ooo what's this about?" and I didn't confess. Oh missed opportunities
17/28. Oh, you mean the time when my first kid was about to be born. We're all (me, the doctor, a mid-wife, a mid-wife in training, my mother-in-law, and of course me wife) sitting there waiting for things to advance. The good doctor gives a reach to see if baby's getting close and then asks if I'd like to feel the head coming down the pipes. I said yeah sure! without really thinking through the fact as was about to manually enter my wife with my mom-in-law looking on. I started to ease a first finger inside when the doctor said, "wrong hole..." If that damn baby hadn't been in the way I might have crawled in there with
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18/28. Where do I even begin...
Dad always told me to be friends with people of intelligence so that I'll have good influences in life. Invited my friend over to play video games. Dad walks into the room and my friend has his jumper pulled over his head and had arms inside it, hunched over and breathing heavily. Dad looks at friend, looks at me, walks out without saying a word. The disappointment emanating from him could crush me.
Took a girl to the movies. There was an ad before the movie started with a guy running an Ironman marathon with his shirt all torn up. I made a joke that went "If I was him, I'd run to the store and buy a new shirt! Ha ha...". She didn't laugh. Guy sitting in front of us turned around and looked at me like "What the fuck was that?".
That time my mom caught me groping a raw chicken breast in the kitchen while moaning and gyrating my hips.
My parents naming me Pony Holy, and introducing myself to people at school. Or anywhere...
That time I was at the apple store, and the guy working there noticed my guitar pick necklace and said "Hey, sweet necklace! Do you play?". Only for me to respond "Oh yeah, I love the drums man!" and pretended to play bongos while maintaining eye contact with him.
That time I really needed to fart in class, so I briskly walked past some friends to get out of the class. I smiled at them as I passed, stubbed my toes on a table, yelled out in pain while grabbing my foot and hopping up and down. The movement caused me to let out small tooting farts every time I hopped, so it was like "Ow! prrt prrt owwwww prrrtt"
That one time I photoshopped a tiger into a picture of a man living in a hut in the forest and convinced a coworker that the tiger was his pet. I later admitted it was a prank, which she took very personally and harshly. She came to my table later, tears streaming down her face and demanded that I cut her with a box cutting knife. All my other coworkers pretended to not know what was going on.
19/28. When I was eight I was performing in a musical (youngest in the cast, age range from 8-mid60's most people were young adults) I was goofing around backstage and my friend and I were playing this claw game where we would reach around one of the curtain without looking and grab each other, well I thought my buddy was around this curtain and I reach around and feel something squishy and I'm like "wtf if this" and keep kind of pawing it to try and find out what it is and final I walk around the curtain to see I had just been pawing one of the actresses boobs the entire time.
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20/28. Somehow convinced myself that the hot Brazilian girl who had voluntarily left a party to come back to my dorm with me and got into bed with me didn't want to do anything more than sleep and we laid there awkwardly until 3 in the morning when she left ...
21/28. When I was 16 or so I went on some cultural exchange trip to Japan.
As part of it I visited an elementary school. The little kids were asking us any question in English they could form. A girl, probably around 10, came up to me and asked 'what's your favourite anime?'
Well, being a weeb I was I told her my favourite childhood anime, then my top 3 current favourites - in English and Japanese of course. The girl looked a little confused, but we were getting moved along so I smiled and waved goodbye.
That night I realized she'd asked my favourite animal. Animal, not anime. I still think about her blank expression and cringe.
22/28. This is probably pretty minor, but it was really awkward in the moment. I was telling a senior doctor at my job about a project I was working on that would benefit her and other doctors (I'm support staff). I was telling her to let me know if she had any additional ideas for the project. However, I combined "shoot me a message" and "hit me up" into "shoot me up." So it came out, "if you have any additional ideas for the project, shoot me up."
I quickly slinked away and hoped that she had no idea what I just said.
23/28. In high school I was in the band and we all went out to the bowling ally for fun and bonding time. There was a girl there who forgot a belt and kept pulling up her pants. She went up to bowl as it was her turn and I ran up, grabbed her pants and pulled them all the way down.
I ran back joyously thinking I just got one of my buddies, but I didn't even know this girl well at all.
I sit down and turn around to she this poor girl hysterically crying to her friends. At this point it hits my how horrible I am and I am now freaking out because what I did. Everyone was super pissed at me, rightfully of course.
I ran up to her and apologized profusely but she was having none of it.
I cringe to this day and this was almost 30 years ago now.
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24/28. At my old job, we had locked restrooms and had to open them for customers via code (it was a ghetto area - there was too much vandalism and theft). I unlocked the bathroom for this older lady once and she thanked me. So I said, "Anytime! Have a good one!" and she gave me a strange look before walking in and then way later it hit me that that was probably an awkward thing to say to someone who's about to go do her business. Still makes me cringe.
25/28. A year or two after finishing high school, I was out in the city and saw the girl I'd had a crush on. Called out to her, she stopped and turned around. She asked if she knew me. I told her and that we were at school together, and she said she didn't remember me. I still think about that moment and cringe.
26/28. I had a communication class in college, sat next to this boy who developed a crush on me through out the semester. The whole class was pretty friendly, so we went out for breakfast foe the last day. This boy gave me a ride to my car and kept expressing how much he wanted to hang out with me, and I didnt want to so I gave non committal answers. Just before I get out of the car he says "Hey, I dont have your number!" So, I told him "Thats right, you don't" shut the car door and walked away.
27/28. In 9th grade I'm at the birthday party of a very popular, very pretty classmate. Within 10 min of my arrival she comes into the room and says "You and I never went out." The party grinds to a halt.
I look at her, feeling the weight of a hundred eyes bearing down on me, reply "Yeah we did" she replies "No. we didn't." And with the image of her and I in a relationship that I know we had, I lose it. In front of fellow classmates and family I call her every name in the book very loudly which, obviously, gets me kicked from the party.
Fast forward a couple years out of high school and the thought of that moment, out of nowhere, pops in my head and I say to myself "We dated in a dream." And the entire non-awakened REM induced sequence comes flooding back to me. And to this day I had no idea who I told that dream to or who in turn told her. I get physically weak every time I look back at the scene I caused at her Birthday party.
Needless to say all my high school relationships, after that point, were not with anyone that attended my school.
28/28. I used to call the intern working for me jokingly as 'coffee slave'. She had a really good sense of humor. She left and my boss told me her replacement intern was sitting in the same cube. To break the ice, i approached her cubicle by saying ' I heard my new coffee slave is here', she was Black.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"