People Reveal The Biggest Secret Their Significant Other Doesn’t Want Them To Know
Her scar story
She had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it. She wouldn't even take her shirt off the first time we had sex. When I asked her about it, she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young.
Fast forward a little and I'm out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend. I pick out a sexy tank top and her friend just looks out me like I'm stupid. Apparently, the scar on her back, which the singlet clearly revealed, wasn't from a fall, but an abusive ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbikes exhaust pipe and burnt her.
We ended on good terms, and I never told her I knew. I hope she is doing well.
I know he doesn't go for any lectures
He thinks I don't know that he screwed up his university entrance paperwork. He didn't send his student loan application in on time, and never did all that admin paper work stuff.
He's been going to these non-existent lectures for over a month now. I'd call him out on it but this is the most time he's spent out of the house in years.
It's nice to have some peace and quiet.
Love of my life
When we were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, uninsured, and the doctors thought it might be cancer, I lost it a bit. But she was so brave for me.
Her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk but she didn't know that the sound echoed pretty loudly into the room. I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn't know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I'll never tell her I heard her, but god it was heartbreaking.
When she came out you wouldn't even know she was even upset, she hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and such certainty. She literally took out her computer then and there and started making a spreadsheet of our finances to fit in cancer. I knew how much she loved me in that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me.
I don't know why but I got so calm after that, I haven't broken down like that since, even with worse news. She makes me strong. God, I love her so much.
He was in depression because of me
I opened the glove box of my husband's car (he knew I was driving it) looking for some spare sunglasses and found a referral written by his go to a psychiatrist mentioning a suicide plan my husband had made. I found he is being treated for depression and I was the one who had pushed him to that GP visit. I feel so sick and sad about it. The GP encouraged him to share with me, but he hasn't.
I've tried to initiate discussions where the subject might come up (I have a history of depression and have made attempts in the past 10+ years ago). But, no, he tells me, he has never thought of doing anything like that.
We have very young children and he is very much loved by me and them.
He is doing better a few weeks later, has made some positive life changes but still, that fear and the sadness makes it hard to let him out of my sight every day.
I have never even seen him completely naked
Even though we have been together for over a decade, my significant other and I have never actually been properly intimate. He uses a dildo instead of his penis. I always thought he was just terrible in bed. But I don't have a high libido so didn't really bother me. To this day has never been fully naked in my presence unless there was no light at all. We literally have to have blackout curtains.
I have come to the conclusion he is a well below average size based on me finding the dildo. It appears to have been modified to allow him to squeeze his penis into the base of it. It looks like it must be incredibly uncomfortable.
The cut-out portion is about the size of a lipstick tube. I don't know where he keeps the dildo anymore, but he is really not subtle about being in bed with me, no mention of intimacy. He heads downstairs for a minute, and all of a sudden comes back and wants to jump straight to penetration with no foreplay. It is painful to me that he would keep this secret for so long, and I really wouldn't even have the first clue how to bring it up to him.
Financially I cannot afford to leave him, and so I just ignore it and try avoid him sticking that thing in me.
She bullied me earlier, and now cons me (probably)
My current girlfriend of 3 yrs was part of a group in high school that used to mercilessly bully me for when I was overweight. She was never directly involved but she would make heinous suggestions on what to do with the unpopular kids they would pick on. I am 100% sure she knows who I am and I found out a year ago when I was switching out phones for our new mobile plan.
No red flags are being raised, but every time she goes out I can't help but think she is doing some sort of long con with her group of friends on me, yes she is still involved with the same group of friends.
I want to bring it up, but I know the response will be something similar to, 'Hey it was a long time ago, I changed.' I still have confidence issues and social issues accumulated from that group so that answer will be extremely unsatisfying for me- I don't know what to do.
My fiancee was really close to his sister
My ex-fiancé's family was always very weird about him being with someone, and very much tried to push me out and keep him to themselves.
His sister and mother were especially strange. At 26, his mother would crawl into bed with him in the morning. And his sister, 5 years younger than him, was always clinging to him and sitting on his lap. Weird.
I put up with it for several years because his parents weren't from here and maybe all that behavior is normal to them.
Then after we got engaged and he wouldn't move out, I did some snooping while they were all at work.
I don't particularly want to explain the evidence I found, but I found multiple things confirming a disturbing situation, and that he was totally fine with participating.
I told him I couldn't take the 'negligence and emotional turmoil' he was subjecting me to and gave the ring back without telling him I knew.
I talk to his best friend a lot because we actually knew each other as kids and are close. Not long after I left he also figured it out. Last time I checked, it was still obviously a thing.
She wants to be a learn Krav Maga and take me down in a fight
She says she wants to be a cop and she's not in good shape. So she's taking Krav Maga to get in shape. She says her goal is to be able to take me in a fight I'm about a foot taller than her. I am heavy, but in better shape overall, and have taken a few boxing/kickboxing classes and want to take more. We have never fought physically, but hey, it's a goal, and it's not a bad idea to set a goal like that.
She has literally not been to a single one of her 150 dollars a month classes and it's been seven months. She drives out to the class and sits in the parking lot. I feel bad for her. Really, really bad. I know it's anxiety.
She has a drinking problem too. When she can't do my gym routine without throwing up, there is no way she's doing Krav Maga. I want to help her, but she doesn't acknowledge having any sort of problem and I don't really confront her.
There's also knowing that the Z-pak she needed 2 years ago was for an STD that I didn't give her. But I don't want to think about that too hard.
She knows, but doesn't know that I know that too
This one takes some backstory. My wife's sister and my older brother have been good friends forever, way before her and I started dating.
About 15 years ago, my brother and his girlfriend got pregnant with a son, who they put up for adoption and my wife's family ended up taking him. My brother never told anyone in our family about it, made my wife's family swear to secrecy. I found out after finding a box of paperwork and old pictures a few years ago while helping them move.
My 15-year-old brother-in-law is actually my genetic nephew, and no one knows I know. My wife has never spoken a word about it. I don't know if I should tell her that I already know.
At that time she just wanted to have a baby
I know that she was actually not on birth control when we met, despite promises and proof to the contrary. She used me purely to get pregnant. I later stumbled across a text exchange between her and her sister that she'd finally found the guy she wanted a baby with, based on looks, education, etc but did not want a relationship.
She was going to lie about birth control. When it happened I thought her conceiving just put us in the 1% fail rate.
Now? 7 years later, we're very happily married with a second amazing child and I don't think there's any reason to bring it up if she doesn't.
Funny thing life is.
Waiting for revenge, OMG!
I know that she had sex my best friend over a dozen times, instead of the one she admitted to because I cornered her with evidence.
Like a jaded cop waiting on his pension, I'll leave her when the house sells and I get my cut.
Revenge is bittersweet, and unfortunately, it'll be bitter for while, however, one of my favorite quotes (paraphrased): 'One thing that separates good from evil is evil's unending patience.'
My grandma knew this secret about my step grandpa for 15 years, but never confronted him
So this is slightly different, as it involves a secret my grandmother knew about her husband. My grandmother got remarried when my dad was in middle school, after divorcing my biological grandfather, this was in the late 70's. Anyway, my step grandpa (SG) was a 'cool dad' for a while, at least up until my dad and his older brother got into college. After that, he started going off the emotional deep end, getting angry and borderline abusive.
For a long time, both SG and grandma were in the same business. My dad and uncle both became attorneys and went to work at what was now the family company. Many years later, my dad and uncle are no longer working with SG and grandma, and my mother manages most of the company.
One day, a business associate quietly pulls my mother aside and says that they saw SG in public with a much younger man.
She tells my father and uncle, who do some digging around and find out he had used company funds to buy cars, apartments, etc for multiple 20 something men (he was in his early seventies). They are understandably shocked, and they all go over to my grandma's house when SG is not there to break it to her.
Her response? 'Oh yeah, I've known that for years.'
She had suspected he was gay before they were married, but nobody talked about that sort of thing at the time or in her family. She knew about the affairs, and declined to tell anyone this for close to fifteen years. He had no idea she knew.
This wasn't her first pregnancy
I'm pretty sure that my wife had an abortion when she was in high school, having gotten pregnant by her then-longtime-but-still-kinda-scummy boyfriend.
At the time she was a stellar all-honors student and captain of three varsity sports but was inexplicably dating a tough guy from across the tracks who was continuously having run-ins with the law stemming from assault charges, getting into fights with people who 'looked at him the wrong way,' etc.
When we first started dating we were only a couple of years into college, so when we started getting more serious we were sharing stories of the tough times in our lives, she said that during her senior year her younger sister spread a rumor that she was pregnant. In a different quiet moment, she spoke of her late mother, and how she was terrified that she had let her down but didn't specify how. I didn't press the matter.
Years upon years later, we're married and expecting our first child. She told me that as part of the prenatal care she needed to know my blood type for some reason. I used to donate blood to the Red Cross during college but didn't have a record of my blood type (and neither did my GCP, weirdly). So I ended up going to give a blood donation to see what info they had on file for me. At one point when I explained to them that I needed to know because we were expecting our first, the male technician mentioned a whole slew of technical terms finishing by saying, 'but those would only be concerns if this wasn't her first pregnancy, so I wouldn't worry about it.'
I did a bit of googling, which I will clumsily summarize here - if the expecting mother is 'sensitized' from a prior pregnancy, and is 'Rh negative' while her partner is 'Rh positive,' then the sensitized mother's body will make antibodies to attack the Rh negative positive fetus as if it's an intruder that the body needs protection from.
I never pressed her on this, and don't really see much of a need to. We have two beautiful kids now, a girl and a boy, and she's an incredible mother. If she had gone through with the pregnancy then she likely wouldn't have gone on to graduate Summa Cum Laude with a double major from the University of her choice, would've had a very different professional career path, and likely would not have met and married me.
She made a choice that I am sure was not an easy one and I am sure that it haunted her for a long while, if not still. That child would've turned twenty this year, assuming everything went alright. Not sure if the father would've still been in the picture, given the path he was on back then, but who's to say, as I know how much becoming a father can change a person.
Even though I know he really loves me, his look told me he was actually tired now
My husband is tired of caring for me, tired of the breakdowns my body suffers and all the emotional trauma that comes with it. But he never told me, neither did he ever express something like that.
He just wants to make me happy and for me to be healthy, but the biggest fear we have is that my time is running short. I have had lots of typically older age person illnesses and conditions since breast cancer 9 years ago, at the age of 32 or 33.
Last week I told him that I want him to decide weather he can handle living without me - here or another state because I don't feel like I have more than 10-15 years left and I want him to be somewhere that he can be happy, perhaps find love again and take care of our girls.
The look of relief on his face was something that I have never seen before, and I'll never forget. That unspoken look gave his secret away. The secret I now know but also know he would have never shared with me or even given voice to.
He's the other half of me, but I don't want to be the reason he ages prematurely or is sad. I don't know how to make it better. I don't know how to live without my body breaking down or falling apart. I just want him and our beautiful kids to be happy.
The pic she sent me of herself
My ex thinks I found out when I looked at her phone, but I new about two months earlier when she sent me a pic of herself watching Netflix in bed.
I don't think she realized that the dude's face was 100% visible reflected in the laptop. After that, it was a matter of me being in denial and trying to fix things.
She broke up a marriage after being invited by a guy for what was supposed to be a threesome. Turned out the guy was lying and his wife didn't want a threesome in the slightest. She fell for him though, despite this and she and he had a sexual relationship in secret for months until his wife found out.
She was 21 at the time. We've been together for 7 years. I found out when she left her Facebook signed in and curiosity got the better of me and I scrolled through her old messages, a couple of years ago.
He never told the army services
This is about my ex. He and his ex-wife were legally divorced a few years back according to the state but he never filed the paperwork with the Army.
He's still collecting the 'married' pay and she still collects dependent benefits to this day.
He doesn't know that I know
Our last private joke
Even though we had been married for 25 years, my wife and I always invented stupid private jokes between each other. I was lamenting the fact that we had fostered a Siamese cat from an adoption group, that eventually got adopted, and I really missed her. At one point, we were looking through the website of the local pound, and a Siamese came up named 'Montague.'
The photo that they took of Montague was epic. A classic Applehead Siamese, he was neutered, about five years old, and had horribly crossed eyes. Whoever took the photograph of him made him look both proud, distinguished, and adorably quirky. Like some weird dude that comes into the bar as a regular and claims he's the emperor of the United States of America, and everybody buys him a round because he is very charming.
We started making up all the stories about Montague in a spoof of 'The world's most interesting man.' Week after week, we checked to see if he had been adopted, but nobody wanted a funny looking cross-eyed Siamese cat. Everyone at the pound said he was affectionate and had been there for quite some time.
Sadly, this would be our last private joke together.
My wife, who had a terminal illness, suddenly gotten much worse and passed away rather rapidly. We thought we had more time together, but she had sarcoidosis, and her lungs had already been weakened by repeated pneumonia when she got the flu. Because she was on immunosuppressants for her condition, this is what did her in, she went into a coma and died a week later.
My sister helped me with the funeral and taking care of a lot of things, including contacting everyone in her phone contacts on her cell phone. She asked me about why the Alexandria pound would be trying to contact my late wife via voicemail. Apparently, my wife had applied to adopt Montague as a surprise gift. She paid the adoption fee and had scheduled a visit to adopt him. But she died before the appointment date.
It' her, not me. But whatever.
My wife tells her mother it's my fault we haven't started trying for a child yet but really it's her fault because she won't stop smoking. I refuse to start trying until she does. I let it continue because I don't really care if her parents are mad at me. We don't speak the same language and I don't mind the odd dirty look when babies are around. Beats them being mad at my wife.
My wife is Polish and her parents don't speak English. My wife's sister asked me about it when she was visiting but I asked her not to say anything to her parents about it.
Her 'imaginary friend' was she herself
My ex-girlfriend made up a person and spoke to me as them. We met when we were quite young and were both pretty weird. I put it down to insecurity and wanting to look like she had cool friends (I was a little older). I never let on that I knew because it would have been super embarrassing for her and this was literally the start of the relationship.
She made up quite a few stories about this guy and I got a few emails from 'him.' She didn't realize that changing the name of the account didn't actually change the address, which was fully visible.
She was a part of that too, probably always was
My significant other moved out a couple months ago because I threw her 22-year-old son out for doing drug deals in front of the house, doing drugs at the house and stealing from us. I just found out that she is having her son do crack runs for her.
He'll probably never know,
During a separation from my first husband, I logged into his Facebook and saw he was in a hot and heavy relationship with his old girlfriend.
We were separated because he was physically abusive. He held me hostage with a loaded shotgun one night and I got a restraining order on him the next day. He was only held in a mental hospital for a few days and then released. I lived in fear every day for over a year.
I logged into his account because his family was feeding me lies and I needed to know what he was doing with his life because he had a chance at visitation with our son.
I found evidence of drug use and dangerous activities that would have made him a danger to our son, who he never saw again. What I wasn't expecting was seeing him in a serious relationship.
I needed to see that though. It helped me to let go.
I didn't know this for one entire year
I upgraded my phone and was giving her my old phone.
She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids told on her.
My wife had dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily it had been so used there was a large pile of crap which gently held the phone above the liquid.
She cleaned it off and gave it back to me. And I used it for a year, happily.
In most situations, when you're hurt by someone, it can be best to just forgive and forget. However, there are some people that can't help but hold grudges. Sometimes it can just be petty, but other times, it can be for very valid reasons.
HeySistaBrutus asked: What are you STILL mad about?