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People Reveal The Moment They Realized Their Friend Was Certifiably Crazy

You know that moment it clicks that someone you know has a few screws loose? It's always special, and it makes for good stories. My favorite from this thread is the guy who carries around his mother's spit jar. Enjoy.

waltermittyslife asked friends on Reddit: What's the last straw that made you go, "yep, that person is definitely crazy?"

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Salted butter all the way.

My ex calling the cops on me because she thought I was trying to "poison" her. I bought salted butter instead of unsalted.

OnlyOneNut

Two-faced entitlement.

Not too extreme, but I had a coworker that regularly talked about how so many of her friends have screwed her over in the past. At first I believed her and felt bad, until she told us what her latest "ex-friend" did (after basically calling him every name in the book, of course). She and her husband decided one day to replace their furniture. This was a spur of the moment decision, and since they didn't have a truck to move their stuff, they texted their friend to see if said friend could help them (along with friend's truck). Friend said no, can't do I'm busy today. Crazy b*tch showed up at his house and flipped out when she saw that he was home relaxing, that's how entitled she thought she was to his vehicle and his time.

She screamed about every single thing she had ever done for him, petty sh*t like "bought you a soda when you forgot your wallet" sh*t. Cops had to be called. From then on out I was careful not to accept any favors from her because I'm 98% sure the only reason she would ever do a nice thing is to throw it back in your face when you have to tell her no. Like she used to give one of our coworkers a ride home, and I witnessed this coworker on multiple occasions offer gas money, pay for her lunch, etc as a thank you. She always declined with "I'm going that way anyway :)", until one day coworker pissed her off so she ran around telling everyone that coworker was a mooch and never once paid gas money. Idk maybe this is more manipulative than crazy, but she was always so miserable so it's not like she was even getting what she wanted at the end of the day so I consider it some kind of crazy.

AlarmingBird

Must be nice to have that kind of money.

I was a personal assistant for a woman who was extremely "lawyer happy," meaning, she always was looking for ways to sue people. I accompanied her while she picked her child up from daycare one day. She parked in a no parking zone that most parents use as a car line to pick up their older kids, and a dad of another child came over and calmly asked her to please move her car so that the car line could keep moving. He was completely cool about it. My boss ranted all the way home about how the man made her feel unsafe and threatened and that she'd be contacting her lawyer so she could sue him for emotional distress. No clue how she went about that since I quit shortly after.

And yes, she threatened to sue me when I quit.

cp010116

Why are people like this?

Months after going on a single date with a woman, she calls me on Christmas Eve while I'm at work to introduce me to her family over the phone as her boyfriend. The one date we had was dinner at a restaurant (she didn't order anything just kept eating my fries) and then watching TV back at her place. Nothing physical happened and the date ended with a handshake. When I responded that we were not a couple, she started freaking out and crying about how horrible I was for breaking up with her on Christmas Eve.

boredrandomguy

Pregant from texting, that's a new one.

There was some girl I met during my teenage years. We chatted for like 30 seconds and exchanged phone numbers. Never met after that, only texted. And we did that back and forth for a few months and then I went to college.

Then she finally drops 'I love you' to me. Obviously, I feel weird about the whole situation because we've only exchanged like 20-30 texts and all of it was small talk. I don't know how to respond to that. The next text a few hours later was 'MrBretten, I'm pregnant'... What?

At that point my red flag detector is going off. So I try to cut off the relationship by texting 'Okay' and ghosting. A minute later: 'I think it's yours, and if you don't come back to take care of me, I'm going to kill myself'. I deleted EVERYTHING after that.

I still wonder to this day if she was legit crazy, or if she got me confused with someone she actually slept with.

mrbretten

Bird, it's the new dollar.

When they brought a dead bird into a Subway sandwich place , and tried to barter it for a sub.

Edit: This was years ago so, to my best recollection here's the long version. I was eating at my local Subway sandwiches, woman comes to the counter. Pulls a dead bird from her coat and asks what type of sub she can get for the bird. Everybody turns and watches as the teenager behind the counter realizes whats going on. He starts yelling that she needs to leave because a dead bird is an obvious health thing. She gets mad that he's not even willing to hear her out, and storms off mumbling and swearing under her breath.

ledgb4522

Dear IRS: "That wasn't me, it was my alien twin." 

A man came in to the bar I work at, he's a semi-regular and is quite energetic but harmless. Everything was as normal, he drank his small Sauvignon Blanc and left.

This is where it gets weird. He came back in a couple of hours later and I asked him if he'd like the same wine he had last time. He stared at me, dead eyed and completely silent for maybe 30 seconds, before laughing. He went on to tell me that I must be confusing him for his twin brother, and that infact his brother was from earth but he is from another planet, and there couldn't possibly be anything suitable for him to drink in our bar because his digestive system is completely different from ours.

This went on for a while, he eventually left and came back in an hour or so later, had a glass of wine, and left again.

He's perfectly nice and respectful so isn't a problem and there's a whole community of people looking out for him, but he's definitely crazy.

winterphase

Yikes.

My husband's cousin is the only female in the family that is around my age so when we used to go to family functions I tended to hang out with her. Our friendship blossomed and she was who I considered to be my best friend. We both had three kids and they all loved each other so we just spent a lot of time together.

My husband always told me she was crazy... That she would turn on me. But I just thought they grew up together and had some weird kind of sibling rivalry kind of thing going on.

Her ex husband hated her... Court cases for custody were happening all the time, it was nasty, they weren't allowed to be in the same room together per court order even. I only heard her side of the story so I, of course, just assumed it was him that was horrible.

Fast forward a few years, she is remarried and has a new baby with her new husband. She's an interior decorator and has always been struggling financially. But somehow all of a sudden she is buying all the things. New iPods for all the kids (including mine), gaming laptop for her oldest, furniture, electronics, she pays a year of rent so she "won't have to think about it."

While I'm over there because I'm now an "approved supervisor" for the supervised visitation her ex husband has imposed through the court, she starts screaming at her new husband for not loading the dishwasher correctly and pushes him fully, with real force, down the stairs. He somehow manages to be okay but she doesn't stop. Runs after him with clear plans to attack. The guy has to literally flee his own home. I packed up the three older kids and my kids and got out of there. I didn't report it because she guilted me into thinking she had PPD and would be fine.

One Valentine's day she decides she wants to have a party for the kids. The time didn't work out for me so I told her we couldn't attend. She lost her sh*t and called me every name she could think of. She took things I had said to her in confidence and told our whole family. I got pages and pages of scathing emails. I was crushed.

Edit because I forgot to explain the money spending... She had gotten a new big client who gave her an expense account to decorate his multi million dollar home. She spent about 200k of his money and was sued.

terrajayde

Here's a double dose of cray.

Ok so I'm a nurse so this is kind of a daily occurrence for me. Especially when you're working in ED and dealing with people who have just walked through the door and you're trying to ascertain whether they're orientated or not. I had too many to list, but one was an elderly mother and her middle aged son...

They seemed completely normal (they often do at first). The mother was getting admitted and the son was getting ready to go home. He pulled me aside and told me his mother likes to spit in a jar on Friday evenings after she watches the news, and if it would be ok for her to do that while in hospital. Kinda weird but whatever, she's not hurting anyone. So I said I don't see why not. I'll get her a paper cup or something and she can spit in that tonight after the news (it was a friday). "Oh no", he said, "into THIS jar". He then presented this gross old jar (looked like and old Pickle jar) about a quarter full of spit 🤢. Wrong on so many levels. Let's just say, I got a real Norman Bates vibe from those two...

Also, outside of work. I went to a house party one NYE when I was young. There was a chick there I'd met before and she seemed really cool (they often do at first). Everyone was having fun, but she decides she wants to go out to a club. She basically throws a tantrum until we all just give in and decide to drive her to this stupid club. She calms down in the car, until we get about halfway there and she just goes berserk saying she doesn't want to go to a club, why couldn't we have stayed home? Why does she have to do what everyone else wants? Why are we forcing her to go out when she doesn't want to Etc etc.

Anyway. Long story short. We turned around and went back home. Once there she tried to slash the tires of the car, tried to run me and my friend over with her car, and ended up crying in the fetal position in the gutter because no one takes her seriously.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

jolhar

White lies don't work if the underlying truth matters.

*Talking to a girl I didn't know that well*

Her: Oh I'm an only child

Me: Really? I could never imagine being an only child, what's that like?

Her: It gets lonely sometimes but you get used to it, y'know?

*Fast forward a few minutes*

Me: I really like your bracelet

Her: Thanks, my sister gave it to me

In my head: Oookay, something doesn't add up, so I decide to ask her

Me: Oh, really? I thought you were an only child

Her: No way! I have 7 siblings lol

Yep, compulsive liar and definitely crazy.

DwightKSchrute007

"It wasn't me!"

There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.

Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked:

Redditors who were once considered suspect of a crime they did not commit, what's it like being held under suspicion and how did it affect your life?

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