People Reveal The Most Extreme Ways They Got Back At Someone Who Wronged Them.
People on Reddit were asked: "What is the most messed up way you got back at someone that wronged you?" These are some of the best answers.
2/27 One time a friend pranked me by pissing on my sausage. Four years later I got him back by putting my [penis] in his beer at a bar when he went to the bathroom. He drank the whole thing before I let him know. I don't forget [things] like that.
3/27 I'm immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard. I'd left it on this concrete area behind our garage. I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood; I didn't always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A 'big kid', probably 2-3 years older than me, was a real jerk. He'd do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing.
Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset. I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket it went with some water, stirred it all up good, then dumped that in my water gun. Went back to the pond. On the way back home he came around messing with me again. I hosed him down and he broke my gun, but man it was worth it.
From what I hear he didn't go back to school for almost two weeks.
4/27 When I was 7 or 8 I did a science project on the antibacterial efficacy of various soaps. Basically involved keeping hands dirty for a day, pressing grubby thumbs into petri dishes full of agar, then washing and doing the same again. I'd take tracings of the cultures: bigger colonies were bad, smaller ones good. This ended up winning the county science fair for my grade in a large metropolitan area, so that was nice.
But before that, after I'd finished the experiments but before I'd discarded the dishes, I got into a dispute with my parents (don't remember what about). I thought, "I'll show them". So I took the nastiest culture and swabbed it onto their bedroom doorknob. They both got sick as dogs and I had to take care of them for a couple of days. Served me right.
5/27 My girlfriend cheated on me, and her and her roommate at the time had gotten to that point in their lease where they weren't super fond of each other and kept some distance. Her roommate was smoking hot and wasn't fond of my ex so I decided to make a move on her.
Best move ever. The look on my ex's face when her roommate walked me to the door in her underwear after the first night was priceless. We proceeded to have hot, dirty, loud sex almost nightly for next 8 weeks until their lease was up and for a while after that. My ex even walked in on us in the living room once. Kinda [mean], but damn was it fun and there's no way I felt bad about it.
6/27 I covered his ceiling fan with glitter. Fear me.
7/27 I used to live in a very small town, like 250-300 people. We had no stores, gas stations etc. One day a local guy decided to open up a little store that sold the basics like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of us highschool kids to work the store, and promised us $50 a week for the summer to be paid at the end of the summer.
We agreed, and started working. We gave up a summer stocking shelves, cleaning the bathroom, lawn care and whatever else. Well the end of the summer comes around. It's our last day of work, and he comes by with our pay checks. $50. For each of us. For the whole summer.
Needless to say, we weren't too happy, but his words were "What are you gonna do about it? Drop the key off at my house since you won't need it anymore".
We came up with a plan to pay this douche bag back. Before locking up the store for the last time, we left a window unlocked. We dropped the key off at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store. Grabbed as much as we could, cigarettes, money from the register, candy. Probably about $1000 worth of [stuff], locked the window, then left through the emergency exit that had no alarm. There were also no cameras of any kind.
Next day there were cops there. He accused all of us of doing it, but had no proof. He ended up having to shut down the store a few months later because the town heard how he didn't pay us and stopped doing business there. I don't feel bad. [He] deserved it.
8/27 At an all male military boarding school during high school, there was this HUGE douche on my hall. We took his Febreze bottle and filled it with piss. Then took said bottle and sprayed his pillow, wall locker and opposite corner. So he gets back, smells urine and immediately grabs his Febreze and douses EVERYTHING.
9/27 I had a friend in high school who became a [jerk] during our senior year. There were a bunch of little things that added up to our friendship falling apart, but at the worst of it I pooped on his car one night. Real simple, I just crawled up on the hood of his car and took a [dump] on his windshield. I just knew that he'd walk outside the next day and think, "What is this?"
Fun fact: we're actually great friends again now. He still has no idea it was me.
10/27 My so-called 'best friend' in primary school stole my shiny Pokemon cards. I was only 6 or so at the time, but that didn't stop me from being a sadistic little first grader, and having older brothers... well, let's just say I knew how things worked.
Guess who found out the truth about santa, the tooth fairy AND the power rangers all at once? Don't [mess] with 6 year old me.
11/27 Friend and I were fishing at a local creek when my friends brother pulled up. Being the [jerk] he normally was he started throwing rocks in the creek to scare the fish and then he threw my friends bike in the creek. We were 13 at the time, my friend was crying and I felt so bad. I jumped into the creek and got his bike out, told him we would get his brother back.
About a month later we were fishing again and it was the dead of summer. I told my friend today is the day we get his brother back. Caught a 2/3 pound carp, threw it up on the side of the bank and left it there until we were done fishing. At the end of the night went back to his place his brothers car was sitting on the street, we took the carp sliced it open and threw it under the drivers seat and rolled his windows 3/4 up.
The next morning when we woke and left I forgot about what we had done. Well when I rode past JT's car I noticed the window was kind of black and then I took a closer look it was covered in flies. I actually got scared because I did not expect to a window caked with flies. By the time I got home I was laughing in tears because his brother was always such a [jerk] to us.
Fast forward to baseball practice about 3 days later, friend had a black eye but smiled at me when we made eye contact. His brother flipped out and ran into his house and punched him in the face. His mom flipped out on his brother, brother was grounded for the rest of summer. His mom said that my friend would never do such a thing and he played along and acted as if he had no idea. Apparently the smell never really left the car. We nicknamed his brother lord of the flies.
12/27 My friend hit me (jokingly) so I licked my hand and rubbed it all over his face.
In hindsight, the fact that I kept doing it for weeks afterward was probably what made it weird.
13/27 I was being bullied by this kid 2 years older than me in school, but I didn't want to tell the teachers or my parents, because I wanted to handle it myself. Anyway, he wasn't hitting me or anything, he was just verbally harassing me during the day; but hey, I was fine with that, I had plenty of friends to chill out with and he was a lonely bully.
So we have to write a physics exam, and we all have those graphical calculators. You can write programs in them and archive them so a RAM reset can't delete the programs, only a default reset can. Right before the exam, he came to me and told me to give him all the "cheat" programs I had. Well, what he did not know is that I prepared one with wrong formulas for that [jerk]. When I transferred the program over to his calculator, I had a huge smile on my face. He got a 6 for that exam, which is equivalent to an F.
14/27 One time I pranked someone by going into their host files and blocking Reddit. They couldn't go on Reddit for weeks, that's pretty [messed] up.
15/27 My first high school bf was not very good with grades so he asked me to make him a fake report so he could show his parents and not get into trouble. He also cheated on me with my best friend and dumped me. He then promised to get back with me if I forged the report for him.
I agreed up until the day when we were meant to get our reports for school. I told him I didn't do it. He got bashed by his dad when he got home for the string of D's and F's.
16/27 My girlfriend of 3 years that I dated through high school broke up with me my first semester of college. We went to different schools and I later learned she was hooking up with one of her guy friends there. Anyways when we both were on break she asked me to bring back all the stuff she had given me, (presents, sweatshirts, cards, etc) so I drive to her house with all the things we've exchanged in the past 3 years, once I got to her house I saw that she had invited all her friends over and they were sitting with her along with her parents in the garage. Anyways I walk up with her [stuff] and exchange, everyone there had that smirk on their face like they were laughing at me. Anyways as I give her back her things I say "if only I could give back your virginity" the look on her parents faces was absolutely priceless, and I walked out of that lions den with the biggest smile on my face.
17/27 My neighbour knocked my Dads motorcycle and simply left it on the floor, it smashed a mirror and they didn't even leave their insurance details. My Dad refused to call the police, saying they probably didn't notice, yet I saw them look at it and proceed to carry on with their usual lives. This annoyed me so much, I decided to call 20 taxis, 5 chinese takeaways, and a stripper dressed as a police man to their house all for 1am in the morning. It was a really [stupid] thing to do but we all do stupid things, right?
18/27 My best friend since I was 3 years old, started texting and flirting, then eventually sleeping with my boyfriend of 7 years. He was apologetic, regretful, and begging for me back, as was she. It was a mistake they said, never happen again they said. Until it happened again.
Well my best friend had this obsessive relationship with this guy Billy, who was so heartbroken by her infidelity he came to me. He felt like a loser having just lost both his girl and his job, so I hired him at my job where I was a manager. We became good friends, and my ex-best friend was going nuts. I then started a rumor that Billy and I were dating and serious about it. She saw us in a car together, while I was bringing him home, and went nuts. She started [following us], and texting me saying "How could you do this to me??! Why would you do this to me??!" but I ignored them. I dipped off the road, and dropped him off at home, and unfortunately had to fire him for stealing money from work.
All in all, I got my revenge. I [messed] with her head. I [messed] with my ex's head. Got them all upset,but never actually did the horrible act of cheating that they did. But they all think I did, and I'm ok with that.
19/27 When my younger brother was about 3, my father had to look after him for the day. The plan was that he, after asking his boss, would take him into work for the day. It was office work, and he was friendly with his boss, so my mum assumed it was no big deal.
My father, however, didn't want a toddler distracting him all day, so he left him in the car with the radio on and a carton of apple juice. (This is Britain, so it wouldn't overheat, but either way he was being an arse.) At the end of the day he returned back to his car to drive home, expecting a sleeping toddler who wouldn't tell his mother a thing.
Instead, upon his return, he found his son jumping up and down on the front seats to the radio on full blast, naked and laughing, slipping around and covered in [poop]. He had soiled himself, removed his nappy his faecal matter EVERYWHERE. [Poop] was smeared all over the driver's seat, the windscreen, the steering wheel, the satnav, the drivers window, even hand printed on the ceiling. Our dad didn't even know that toddlers could even produce this vast amount of turd. The only car seat that was completely untouched was his own.
20/27 My friend got roofied by a frat [boy] about a decade ago at a local high-toned university. Despite a [lot] of evidence, he was never arrested, never expelled, never had to face any sort of penalty for this. He managed to get my friend labeled a slut who totally wanted it and was now only pretending [about it] because he wouldn't break up with his girlfriend for her. Pretty charming guy, really.
I put capsicum extract in his eyedrops.
21/27 My brother once stole my bag of skittles and didn't admit to it. So I bought a bag and opened it carefully so that I could reseal it. I took every skittle, except the green apple, out and replaced them with m&ms. The look on his face was priceless.
22/27 My sister used to beat me up, steal my birthday money... When mom went shopping for Xmas my sister would tell her to buy me these horrible clothes to make me look the part. Pretty much was just a total [malicious woman] to me. So every time I had to pee in the shower I'd pee in her shampoo and body wash all over her razor, body sponge thing, everything.
23/27 The best revenge is served cold: 11 years ago, I was working almost 24/7 and trying to deal with multiple deaths in the family over the period of a few weeks...no time for anything and going nuts trying to hold it all together. My (now) ex decided that she wasn't getting enough attention and started [screwing] around on "business trips". Eventually I busted her flat out - taped a phone conversation of her talking with her friend about having great sex in Florida with a bunch of guys and that was it. She knew I had the tape, so denial wasn't an option. I decided to run with the truth, instead.
I left. Just left. Found a new place to live and at that point (11 years ago) simply spread a few (documented) facts around. Not rumors, not pooping on someone's property, just handing out documented facts.
Mishandling money at work (corporate/state/federal funds - bad news), misreporting consulting income on her taxes. Wrote a couple of editors to publications showing where she'd plagiarized materials. End of career.
When she was held up to paying me the equity on the house we owned at that time, she pled poverty, and then showed up for work in a new corvette. A few months later she moved to California and refused any payout on the house, which on the market. I called the mortgage company directly and begged her new address out of them. My lawyer carpet bombed my ex who simply assumed she could hide from [it] and I had a check in my hand within the week. So then she was broke, discredited, in the [hole] with the IRS and her funding agencies. Good enough.
End result: Not quite jail, but the end of her long-sought academic career and certainly the end of her credibility. Ten years on, she's managing a research institute out west but nobody respects her as anything but a office stooge and money-fluffer at this point. Should I have pooped on the 'vette? Probably, but simply the telling the truth rocks sometimes.
24/27 When I was around 13/14 I used to hang out with my 21 year old neighbors. I didn't realize at the time that all these guys would do is convince me to do stupid [stuff] then run away when I got in trouble. This continued until I was about 17 when I finally realized what was going on. I was furious and wanted revenge but by the time I thought up a plan these guys had moved. I decided I would make my move anyways.
These guys were serious stoners and always had parties. I went to a party once and chilled in the back. In my car I had 5 cartons of heavy whipping cream that I had purchased 6 months prior (I left them in the fridge until that day). I took each carton and poured one in each of the air vents. I had one carton left over so I poured it into the A/C unit. The smell coming from the cartons was so rancid and disgusting I had to stop myself from barfing a few times.
A few weeks later the house was up for sale, no one would buy it because of the smell though. They gave up on selling it and tried burning it down. After an investigation the oldest brother was arrested for fraud and served 1 year in prison. I haven't heard anything about them since.
25/27 My then-high-school-girlfriend was a total [malicious woman], and wanted me to abandon all of my friends, would always try to bring me down, etc.
When I got fed up, I broke up with her on picture day. She took them, but her mascara was everywhere. Two days later, I told her that I was sorry, blahblah, and I wanted to get back together. She liked having someone to walk on, so of course she said yes.
I then broke up with her again on retake day. Nailed it.
26/27 See, my parents suck. I've been taking care of them for a while, while also going to school and what not, and still they are trying to cheat me, pawn my things, etc. But I've become fed up with them. I'm out of town at the moment, but when I get back, the next time they ask me to walk two miles to get them a pack of cigarettes, I will walk outside, around the house, have a friend with a van come. Bring my pre-packed [stuff] out of the basement entrance, leave and stay at my friends house for a few days until the day my train ticket is planned for, then move 2000 miles across the country and live with another friend who just got me a job. Rendering them worthless pillheads waiting for a pack of pal mal menthol 100's for the rest of their sad lives.
27/27 Dated a girl who I really liked, but she was always hot and cold to me, and when she was cold, she could really treat me like a bucket of liquid [poop]. It took me way longer than it should have, but I finally manned up and dumped her. She proceeded to alternately try to win me back and seduce my friends; basically, an immature reaction from an immature person.
So, couple of weeks later, I meet an amazing girl at a concert, and we start dating. This new girl is awesome, cool, fun and sexy, but within a week of dating her, I realize something else about her. My ex had had a job the summer before, which had her basically spending the whole summer with a girl that she had developed a major complex about. Wherever the two went anywhere together, guys would always hit on this other girl and never hit on my ex. It got to the point, that my ex had developed this major anxiety-complex regarding this girl she worked with. By pure random chance, I had gone out and met that girl, and was now dating her.
The satisfaction I felt when I showed up at a party around a month after the breakup, and letting ex see who I was with was immense. She had a total melt down that included crying, screaming and ranting, before screaming at the guy she came with, "Take me home right now, we're leaving!"
To which he replied, "Call a cab, I'm not taking you anywhere." It's the little moments in life that you have to cherish.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: