People Reveal The Most Single Thing They've Ever Done
Alright, perpetually single people. How single are you? Are you single enough to date yourself? How about eating microwaved food over a sink? Do you drink boxed wine with your cats? You're in good company. Stay strong, at least we have each other.
Krikran asked, What's the most single thing you've ever done?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Going to IHOP (IHOB?) alone is pretty single, and pretty much everyone is going to notice. Stay strong.
Went to a crowded IHOP for breakfast alone and was asked if I minded sharing a table with another single guest. I was hungry, so whatever. She was 20 years my senior and we chatted till food arrived. No more words as we both shoveled the food into our mouths and escaped the situation ASAP.
You know you're single af when your gynecologist appointment counts as a date.
Accidentally scheduled my annual gynecologist visit for valentines day because I forgot the date 2/14 had any significance.
When no one is around to hear you toot.
Heated up plain black beans in a pot, dumped siracha on them, and ate them with the big wooden cooking spoon.
This is how you single PROFESSIONALLY.
Flew to Vegas for my birthday alone. Stayed in a cheap hotel and partied on The Strip spending money on Blackjack, ate at some restaurants, and buffets. Went to some of the funniest clubs out there, and met some fun people. Partied with them at my room. Then the next day I flew back home. One of the best Birthday weekends.
My inner cat lady has nothing on fish man.
Told my beta fish how my day was for a couple months straight until he died. No roommates and no girlfriend led to a lot of lonely nights.. also cried all night when he died.
Way to attack people for a typical Saturday night.
Went out and bought about 20 dollars worth of Chinese food, and ate most of it standing in the kitchen.
It's just a big spoon and NO ONE is judging for having fewer dishes to clean.
Saw my mate eat dinner with a ladle once. Bachelor.
Taco beds, although lonely, are really cozy. Or so we convince ourselves.
My bed has warped into a taco from sleeping in the center for so long.
Edit: glad there are other taco beds out there! I actually like it, it's like getting a soft hug every night...
Single and horny, party of one.
Went to see "Magic Mike" by myself with a 6 pack of beer hidden in my purse.
If I had it may way, I wouldn't be alone, eating in the car.
I once teared up because as I was leaving the BK drive thru to go eat at home alone and I saw through the window this 50-year-old couple in a booth smiling at each other and talking. I'm a 22-year-old man.
Who do they think are going to use these?
Used a half off coupon for a lap dance. They were not happy. Then don't make the coupon.
Sounds kinda kinky tbh...
Live with my two best friends who are married, were pretty much a tricycle.
This is sorta like being married, just without the tax cuts.
I realized my dog ate better than I did so I started cooking meals for two, we had boiled chicken, rice and veggies almost every night for a few months. Life was so simple back then.
Pet the cat, slap the bag. Repeat.
Adopted 2 cats and made a box of wine a part of my grocery list...
Nothing wrong with dating yourself, unless you're cheap, then it's rough.
Went to a movie alone, then went out to a restaurant alone afterward. It was surprisingly nice though
TV remotes, bags of chips, same thing really.
My TV remotes had a space on the other side of the bed for waaaay too long.
First they attacked my Saturday nights, now my Fridays are under assault. Rude.
Ordered a couple large pizzas, both for me, got a couple bags of chips and some soda. Ate all of it in bed over the course of 12 hours while watching Netflix. If I had been with someone else you could call it relationship goals but nope.
You're on a roll - no sense in breaking with tradition, ey comrade?
This one time I was single and then did that for my entire life so far.
Dancing alone means no one is sweating on you, so that's fine, right?
I was dancing in a nightclub, and Jason Derulo's "Riding Solo" came on. I started crying because I, too, was "riding solo."
Alcohol may have been involved.
And this, of course, is peak single.
Eat microwaved food over a sink.
Laws should always protect the people, ALL the people!
Laws are amiable. We know this. They often change with the times, with enough revolution that is. Laws are there to protect and serve, however they can be too complex and just downright odd and often absurd.