People Reveal The Rudest Thing A Teacher Has Ever Said To Them

It seems like our teachers thought they could get away with anything. While many are influential to our educational experience, there's always a rotten apple or two in the bunch. You just couldn't win with them, and they made your life a living hell.

braken_yt asked: What is the rudest thing a teacher has said/done to you before?

Good call.

"In the two years I had him for, my GCSE computer science teacher was a complete dick to a select few in the class. His worst offense was on the last day any of us had to see his face, on clearance, which is basically when you get your teachers to sign a sheet to say that you don't owe them anything.

Well, I went to get him to sign off computer science, he said we all owed him our revision guides. I told him that I vividly remember him providing the workbooks and us buying the guided, and not the other way round. I also mentioned that he didn't give us any advance warning meaning that half of them had been burnt because we all hated the subject, then asked why he even wanted them back anyway.

He basically told me to STFU, so we all went to a different computer science teacher who wasn't ours and got him to sign us off instead."


What a phony.


"7th grade geography teacher taught the class literally like Professor Umbridge. She would give us a packet at the start of the class, and we would have to copy it word for word into a notebook. There was no need to talk. Total insult to the intelligence of the class.

She went out for one of those teacher of the year contests and once the cameras were out, totally different lesson plan (we sat in a circle and analyzed the lyrics to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" while she was fake nice to everyone. Gross.)."


P.E. teachers can be the WORST.

"Got a bad haircut/highlight in 6th grade. Middle school friends kinda teased me and called me "highlighter head." After I told them it bothered me, they all stopped because they were good friends.

Our PE teacher heard them call me this, and proceeded to make fun of my hair every time I ran by her during our warm up laps. Pissed me off enough that I stopped warming up and started talking to my friends. She made all these excuses afterward and said that she wasn't actually saying anything bad.

Man, I hated her."


That's frustrating.

"I was 11 and had just started secondary school. I didn't know anybody, which is only relevant as it meant I already felt incredibly shy and self-conscious.

I was in a DT lesson with a teacher who was rumoured to be terrifying. I needed a pair of scissors to complete whatever task we were doing.

"Sir, where are the scissors to?" I asked.

"...You've got that HORRIBLE Bristolian accent that I HATE!" came his response.

I was really taken aback. I managed to stammer, "...Um...well, I live in Bristol, Sir."

"So do my sons and they don't speak like you."

It all just seemed so unnecessarily nasty and humiliating.

(For what it's worth, I do now know it's grammatically incorrect to say "to" at the end of that sentence, and I wouldn't do so now, but it is a dialect thing. You'll hear many a Bristolian saying, "Where you to?" or "Where's that to?" instead of Where are you? or Where is that?)"


Did they stretch before that reach?


"In 5th grade I joined the cheerleading squad and they were pretty strict about the color socks and footwear you wore to each game. One game I messed up and wore blue socks rather than white (but was still in our school color scheme of blue and white) and the teacher in charge told me I wasn't going to amount to anything because I "couldn't follow simple instructions and made the whole squad look ugly."

Like... kay, thanks Coach. I didn't return to cheerleading the following year."


Talk about a power trip.

"In my junior year of high school, I had a teacher refuse to pronounce my first name correctly. My name is Alisha, pronounced uh-lee-shuh. Easy, simple, fairly common name, if oddly spelled.

She decided that because there's an "I" in my name, it should be pronounced "uh-lih-shuh".

I'm used to people getting the spelling wrong, and I have an unusual last name that nobody can pronounce, so correcting her was easy the first time. I figure she's just accidentally mispronounced it. Nope.

She tells me, in front of the whole class, that obviously the way she says it is "the right way" and that she will call me that going forward because clearly my parents have made a mistake in how my name is said. You know, for the last 15 years.

At this point, I've gone to school in three different school systems in as many states. I've been in this school system longest. I have had teachers call me very rude names, literally steal my book from my locker, try to intentionally fail me because I was a tomboy, and embarrass me because I always raised my hand in class... all in this ONE school system. Now this lady wants to f---ing telling me how to pronounce my name during our first ever interaction? Nah, not gonna go down.

"If you expect me to answer to you, you're going to say my name correctly, or I won't respond."

She turns her nose up at me, and things calm down. Then suddenly, she calls me by the mispronunciation. I don't bat an eye lash, because f this b. She stands up from her desk and walks toward me and calls me again. I sit there.

SHE LITERALLY GOT IN MY FACE. And called my name the wrong way again.

I sit there.

She threatens to have me sent to the office for being disruptive. I just looked her deadass in the face and said "Go ahead. I'm sure when it comes out what you're doing, it'll go really well for you."

She sent me to the office. They call my parents. My parents show up, throw a fit, and eventually a couple of students admit to what the teacher did. Suddenly, she started calling me by the right name.

Eat s**t, Mrs. Fields.


What the hell....

"This one's easy.

I was an overweight elementary schooler. I had my gym teacher loudly declare in front of the whole class that I could skip the jump-roping exercise we were all doing, "because he didn't want to risk an earthquake."


A TEACHER said that to a child? WTF.


"My teacher in 3rd grade saw me asking my female friend if I could borrow a pencil, so she said, very loudly:

"If you want to kiss, just go to the bathroom!"

I was bullied for the entire year and when I pointed out that I was being bullied, the teacher just said:

"Then stop being a p*ssy! Ask her out and they will stop!"

I had never wished to torture someone before."


Don't disrupt the class for that???

"I used to doodle around the edge of the pages on my workbook during school lessons, it helped me concentrate on listening the teacher while keeping my hands occupied. One teacher when I was 11 stopped the entire lesson when she saw me doodling and had me cut off all the drawings on the page while the whole class watched. IMO that shows no respect to the different learning approaches kids have, she should have just ignored me and continued the lesson instead of disrupting it for everyone.

I still doodle to this day, glad I didn't let her mindset affect mine!"


Way to attack your student for being good at something.

"8th grade teacher was convinced my parents wrote the speech I had done as a presentation in her class or that I plagiarized it. Her reasoning behind it was "I was too stupid to write that." Despite absolutely no evidence of plagiarism, she decides that she's going to report it as such and I get sent to the office, they then proceed to berate me there for about 40 minutes and demand that I "rewrite the entire speech if you didn't plagiarize it" so I do, it's not perfect but REALLY close to the original. The principal agrees that ya I did write the original since my second one was so incredibly close.

My teacher was unconvinced for some reason, so insisted that my parents MUST have wrote it then so they requested I be suspended from school, the principal of course said "absolutely not, they clearly wrote this." So I leave the principal's office. Later that day I'm informed by the Vice principal that I'm to receive a 3 day suspension for "cheating" by having my parents write my project for me. I explain to them what happened, they don't want to hear it, so I tell them to go talk to the principal instead, they do and the issue is resolved.

You'd think that would be the end of it but, nope! About a week later all the other kids get their grades back for their speeches, but not me. I don't think much of it until weeks pass and still no mark, at this point I get my midterm marks only to see that I'm failing English HARD (the only projects due for this were the speech itself which was ~80% of the mark and some random other stuff I had aced). When I then go and ask "what the hell?" I hear back essentially "your delivery for the speech was bad, the draft you handed in was full of spelling errors and bad grammar, inconsistent information, etc., etc." To which my only response was "you mean the speech you were convinced I was "too stupid" to have written based on my delivery alone?" To which she responds with "well I could show you but I must have misplaced your hard copy". "Good thing it just so happens I have a spare one right here" I respond as I see her actively starting to get mad.

She then proceeds to snatch the papers out of my hand and starts pouring over them trying to point out any and all "problems" she can find. She starts randomly circling parts of the sheet, crossing letters out, etc., etc. When she's finally done she proceeds to hand it back to me with an abysmal grade written on the top.

I at this point just take the paper directly to the principal's office who I hand it to and ask "does this seem right to you" after less than a minute of glancing at the paper he asks me to "step out of his office for a moment" while I hear my teacher being called to the principal's office over the PA. I see her walking up, she sees me sitting outside with a smile on my face and realized what was going on, proceeds to walk into the office, and I then overhear the principal absolutely tearing into her for a good 10+ minutes. She then leaves the office and I'm called back in, he then tells me that I'm to be exempt from her class for the remainder of the term and I will receive an automatic 90% in the class; however, I am to report to the office during the time block for that class and I'm still expected to complete all of the work, readings, etc. for that class according to the curriculum. To which I immediately agree.

To this day I'm still not sure what the actual hell my teachers problem was with me, or why in the hell she decided to take something so stupid so far."

You showed her.

"My senior year math class, I had this teacher who despised all the girls in the class. She loved the boys, who would constantly cause trouble, but punished the girls for it. Great start.

Regardless, I've always been shit at math and was getting by with a C, which shouldn't be a problem. C is average. In the middle of class after a quiz one time she told me to stay after class to talk to her (my lunch was right after this class, so dick move anyway). I walk up to her desk and says, very deliberately, "(My name), do you /want/ to go to college?" Conversation is as follows.

Me: Yeah. Her: Where are you planning on going? Me: (My current university). Her: You /know/ you need four math credits to get in there, right? Me: Yeah. Her: Just thought I should remind you.

I can't explain how condescending her tone was. I'll never forget this, I was so pissed off. She was always on my ass, and rude to me for no reason. Said something along the lines of I wouldn't succeed in college if I was getting a C in her class a couple weeks later.

Going into my sophomore year of college now with a 3.8 GPA. Screw you, Mrs. K*****."


This person had really bad luck with teachers.


"There was this one science teacher that hated me. Always would move me away from my friends for talking, even if she saw that I wasn't talking. One day, we were talking. She stops, glares at us, and says, "Do you want to get separated?" and we all said no, as you would. She said, "Good, it's not like anyone would want to sit next to you anyways. Right?" and looked around at the rest of the class. They all nodded. I was crushed.

Another teacher named Mrs. Jenkins. One of my cats had gotten hit by a car while I was at a friends house. When I got back home, my mom broke the news. I was shattered. Took the next day off of school. When I got back, the teacher asked me why I didn't have my homework. I said I was absent. She asked why. I told her. She said she didn't care that my cat died, and that the death of my pet was less important than me missing one day of school. I didn't do any work in that class the rest of the year.

A teacher once called me braindead and said I had selective hearing because I couldn't hear her across the entire classroom. Same teacher refused to grade an essay even after I rewrote it four times, even after I went to the principal about it. I ended up with a 84 in her class, one point off of a B, because of that.

TL;DR: 7th grade science teacher said that no one wanted to sit next to me. Class agreed.

6th grade english teacher said my cats death didn't matter and wasn't a valid excuse to miss a day of school and not do my homework that I never even got.

8th grade social studies teacher called me braindead, said I had selective hearing, and purposefully gave me a C in her class."

Teachers need to chill about students using the bathroom.

"In 5th grade a teacher yelled at me and embarrassed me in front of everyone because I raised my hand to use to rest room. I was a quiet well behaved kid. But I had a bladder issue and I would use the bathroom once a day in his class.

One day when I raised my hand he flipped out at me and really embarrassed me in front of everyone. He was an asshole."


What an awful thing to say to a student.

"It was back in high school... history teacher, he was the basketball coach and not really qualified to teach. Anyway, he gave us an essay exam, and I used some creative writing skills from another class to turn my answers into stories, as well as responding to the question.

When he finished grading and returned the essays, he kept mine. Had to read it in front of the whole class, he thought it was so great.

Later that week, he was in a terrible mood -- one of the members of the football team decided it would be funny to lock him out of the classroom. Everyone else just stared at the situation trying to figure what to do. Once the prank was done and he was back in front of the class, he started reaming everyone out. Finally got to me. Called me a low-talent hack, screamed at me in front of everyone that I wasn't taking the class serious, even changed my grade from an A to a D for the exam. Threw a book at me even, although missed and broke the window.

Long story short, severely wounded my high school ego. Didn't write for years after that humiliation. But I did report it to the principal and somehow was able to skip class and have my own "study hall" in the school library. Also got an A. Might have been due to my threatening to sue, I'll never know.

His contract wasn't renewed the next year. But damage done, took me years before I was interested in writing after that."




"I was at an all boys boarding school and it was rather religious.

The Chaplin or priest who was a prolific alcoholic was teaching us religious studies and we were fucking with him. You know the usual blurting random shit and not listening.

He then had enough stood up, picked up his book threw it down looked at us and pointed and said "you are all fucking brainless". He then walked out and we still had half the lesson to go."


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.