People Reveal Their Personal Red Flags That Keep Them Out Of Trouble
Folks on Reddit shared the most prominent warning signs to be aware of in ourselves in response to a question posed by evection94:
What are some red flags we should recognise within ourselves?
Plan For Today
if you've been saying "It's only temporary" for a couple years.
It's real easy to get stuck in a rut and distract yourself with some far off plans. Always have something you could be working on that directly contributes to your goals. MajorMustard
Continuously making last minute excuses for yourself. Before you know it, a year has gone by and you've done absolutely nothing. GoochBurrito
Realize that if the people around you are constantly making you angry, chances are that they are not the main issue.
Obviously this won't be the case for everyone but it certainly is for me. I'm spending more time thinking through my responses these days rather than just snapping back at people that probably don't deserve to be snapped at. joegekko
Put Your Behind In Your Past
Dwelling on past events that are completely irrelevant to your current existence. viramp
You Know What Happens When You Assume?
If you are constantly frustrated that no one understands you then you probably arent communicating effectively. Dont assume anyone knows your intentions or thoughts. Try to see the world through a third party view with none of your internal dialogue. cecilium
There Might Be More To Talk About?
When your only way of striking up conversations is by complaining about s*** in your life. That is unhealthy as f***. JohnnyOnslaught
Definitely Don't Keep Score
Keeping a tally of how your loved ones have wronged you and using it in arguments later. ttrriipp
What's The Common Denominator?
If you compulsively destroy all your romantic relationships just to stop worrying whether they'll reject you at some point?
You might have an anxiety problem and should see someone. BeMoreLikeMae1
Learn To Say Thanks
Not being able to accept kindness from others, be it compliments or gifts.
Not only is it a big red flag about your self esteem, it's very off-putting to the people you reject kindness from. jobaisntreal
Are You As Well As You Thought?
When Im doing well but when someone touches a nerve and I get upset, chances are Im probably not doing as fine as Ive led myself to believe. theworldismylobster
If you notice your mood is greatly dependent on the attitude of someone else, especially in relationships, it can be VERY toxic in the long term. notrub95
Monitor Your Personal Worth
You have to re-orient how you evaluate your personal success and self worth. Start measuring yourself by
criterion criteria that are under your control, not other people's. Set some realistic goals and assess how hard you're working to meet them.
Rather than "Does Karen like me," try "Have I treated Karen with respect and consideration today?"
Rather than "Do people think I'm fat," try "Did I overeat today?"
Rather than "Is Dad proud of my career," try "Am I supporting myself with my job?" Bearracuda
Last One. Promise.
If you say last one more than a time or two about absolutely anything. nehthan
This Isn't Hollywood
I try to stop pretending I live in a movie. E.G. getting the girl in the perfect way, getting the perfect job, scoring the game winning touchdown.
Holding yourself up to standards found in Hollywood will likely cause upset. Lebagel
Check Your Spending
When you start needing excessive pleasure and happiness...it's because you are depressed...perhaps you aren't able to cope with the daily stress of life or maybe something traumatic happened. shewshoeIt's Not Always About You
red flag when you start talking too much about yourself in a conversation. don't assume everyone is your superfan and is interested. 2timessauce
Keeping To Yourself?
Isolating and pushing people away. uncertainhope
Try Not To
Letting people in is fine and normal. But when people ask me, "How are you?" I totally have no idea what to say. Trying to learn that right now, with a close friends help. Jcashman317
Opposites May Not Attract
For the longest time I was always falling for girls who dont do relationships. Spoiler alert: they werent good at commitment. jtb3566
Say Hi To Your Mother For me
If you're unpleasant to your loved ones while waiting for a text message from your crush/partner, but pleasant to them as soon as you receive that text, that's a huge red flag. maryteresasarvaas
Don't Always Trust Yourself
Learn your biases and be most suspicious of yourself when you want to believe/disbelieve something instantly, without really thinking about it. satanicpuppy
But, What If I'm Sick?
Using life's difficulties as a crutch for 1.) never doing anything or 2.) hurting others. Depression/anxiety suck. They really do. But they are not a free pass to hurt your friends and family under the excuse of "but I'm sick." allthebacon_and_eggs
What Do You See In Others?
Sometimes the traits in others that annoy us the most are attributes we have within ourselves that we (at least subconsciously) wish to change. ljahb
And, when the flag is the most red...
Always watch for when you stop giving a f*** about things that matter to you. I_have_no_use
The Reddit thread includes tons of links and numbers to call in case you or a loved one is in need of help.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: