People Reveal What They'd Ask For In Exchange For Selling Their Soul To The Devil

You're down on your luck when you meet someone who offers to make your wildest dreams come true; there's just one little caveat: it'll cost you your soul. What would you do?


Reddit user Icleanforheichou asked:

"Congratulations, you have just sold your soul to the devil. What did you ask for in exchange?"

Redditors have apparently devoted a bit of time to thinking about this one. Answers ranged from silly off-handed jokes to complicated attempts to avoid possible loopholes.

Some responses have been edited for content or clarity.

Short-comings

I'm now, finally, 6'4.

A life lived at 5'2 has its shortcomings. And they are legion.

-Closer67

Gingered Again

Idk man I’m ginger so can I not participate, or like do I scam him, or..?

-NTS-Azazel

Okay but same this was my question.

Does he know the ginger-loophole? Does he think he's got a soul and then when the amazon dude arrives, he's just like "goddammit gingered again!"?

-SpaceyMoogle

I love that we can just assume by this point that Amazon delivers to Hell...they're everywhere.

-Vaguely-Azeotropic

Unexpectedly Wholesome

I didn't ask for anything but I did make a new friend.

-JimboJoJo

Money can't buy friendship, but souls can!

-Icleanforheichou

Loopholes

For upon my death for him to hand deliver my soul to Heaven.

-yeetskeetrepeat

You are immortal but live in hell.

-DuckInTraining

Aren't we already in hell? Or is that just grimsby?

-phil035

Priorities

No-wipe poos forever.

-[user deleted]

You never have to wipe agin but you aren’t sure and wipe every time any way.

-Mokyzoky

Soul Shark

The ability to shapeshift in to a megalodon. If he won’t do that I’ll just keep my sh***y regular soul.

-ACGT030188

*Fiddle Solo*

An unbreakable, perpetually perfectly tuned fiddle and the best fiddle playing ability in existence.

Y'all know what comes next.

-Zeruvi

If Only

To forgive all student loans.

Quick sidebar story. A few years ago I used to work for a student loan company that is currently being sued for predatory practices. They pretty much forced us to tell the borrower to make bad decisions so the interest would go up. I worked there for like a month and it really felt like I was selling my soul to the devil. I would absolutely give my soul to the devil so that others don't have to suffer through those egregious practices and screw their entire lives up over it.-

-Interloper1004

Seemed Like A Good Idea

A bowl. It sounded funny at the time...but now I'm down one soul.

-moohooman

Catch-22

My soulmate.

^(not sure how that would work)

-Imsickovit

Technically it's the devil I suppose, as he literally has your soul, mate.

-FaithCPR

What would you ask for in this situation?

"It wasn't me!"

There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.

Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked:

Redditors who were once considered suspect of a crime they did not commit, what's it like being held under suspicion and how did it affect your life?

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