People Share Basic Things Their Partners Didn't Know When They Started Dating.
My ex had maxed out a $500 limit credit card ten years earlier, ignored it, and had been paying about $25 a month in interest ever since.
I explained to him that the single easiest way for him to make more money was to pay it off and terminate the card - that would be like earning an extra $25 a month for doing nothing!
He slammed his fists on the table and yelled, "No! I'm not earning anything, they're just taking my money! I'm not giving them any more!"
We broke up 3 years ago and, if I know him, he still has that card.
It wasnt that he lacked life skills as such, he just didnt own basic items that he should have acquired. Like, he didn't own a cutting board.
It was surprising because he cooked at home most nights every week. He cut all his food on plates. PLATES. All his plates had tons of scratches on them from years of being used as cutting boards.
A year later, I was at his family's house and saw his sister avoid using an easily accessible cutting board to cut some vegetables on a ceramic plate. This is apparently in their DNA or something.
An ex-GF was from a wealthy family. I'd get calls from her about everyday stuff all the time:
"How do I choose which head of lettuce to buy at the grocery store?"
"How do I use [gas pumps, clothes irons, sandpaper]?"
"Why are there so many kinds of shovels and which one should I buy?"
My favorite was her fuming about the farmers market that sold her a bag of veggies that were dirty. "They have ACTUAL DIRT on them!"
He didnt understand how a lint roller works. He didn't know that the sheets peel off the roll; he just thought when the top sheet was covered, you threw it out and got a new one.
I dated a girl who called me one night asking if it was safe to put plastic in the oven. When I said no, she laughed nervously and said she might have set her house on fire. (She had.)
I was confused by many aspects of that conversation, but the main thing was why she was calling me and not the fire department.
She also couldn't tell her lefts from her rights.
It was odd because other than that, she was a generally intelligent human being.
We got in the shower together after sexy times. After a minute or two she says, "Whoa, you really wash yourself. Like, you soap up your whole body!
So, bathing. Bathing is the basic skill she didn't have.
One night, shortly after I married my wife, she was cooking pasta. We had the following exchange.
Wife: Could you get me the cauldron?
Me: The what?
Wife: You don't know what a cauldron is? It's the thing you use to drain the water out of the pasta!
Me: You mean the colander?
She was super embarrassed, and it's been an inside joke ever since.
He knew nothing about cleaning. Specifically, dude had no idea where dust came from. He thought that if he didn't go over to that part of the room, then it wouldn't get dusty and therefore wouldn't need to be cleaned.
While texting, I have to write a sentence and await an answer. If I write more than one, she only reads the last one. Always.
Shes unable to determine whether my hands are free or not. Like, Ill be carrying a-two handed tote and she wants to hand me the glass of water she just poured. Oh yes, please balance it on my shoulder.
I have a game I play called Ghost or Girlfriend?
When we watch a horror movie together, I award a point in each situation to whoever would be easier to deal with: my girlfriend or a ghost
Take Paranormal Activity for example: in the kitchen scene, all the cabinets open on their own - then slam shut.
She couldnt do anything that required maintenance. I mean anything. Like, she would listen to a fire alarm beep for hours before I came home and swapped the batteries. She would try and change a light bulb while the switch was on. She did not understand the concept of circuit breakers. Every time she had a computer problem, I would have to ask her, "Did you turn it off and on?
She went 8 years between moving out of her parents home and moving with me. I don't know how she survived.
But she is super smart. Shes so very good with money, she made the Deans list when she went to Uni, excellent mother, reads and understands contracts. Pretty much everything I suck at, she's good at, and vice versa. We make a really good team.
She was terrible with money management. She used to think, "Oh, I have $500 in my account, which means I can buy that $500 item!" She's since learned how to appreciate saving.
Were on different levels when it comes to opening packages of food. My wife opens bags of chips as if there is an invisible zipper down the middle of the bag.
My boyfriend isn't a terrible driver, but he really isnt a good one, Multiple times when Ive been with him, I've had to stop him from turning onto the wrong street or cutting someone off. He doesn't really seem to have a sense of what other drivers are doing, either. He's that person who blows through a parking lot because it doesn't occur to him that he doesn't always have right-of-way (and other people might think that they do).
I think what kills me about it is that not only do we share one car, so if he gets in a fender-bender then my transportation is shot, but I've asked him about it and his attitude is kind of, Well no one can be a perfect driver. Everyone makes mistakes.
My wife can't swim. She said her mother wouldn't let her learn because she was afraid of her drowning. THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SWIMMING IS FOR!
My girlfriend is a Forensics Chemistry major with two minors, and she's brilliant. But she has trouble telling which way to turn when giving directions, and confuses her lefts and rights. If she says go left, my safest bet is probably turning right, because left would mean turning into oncoming traffic, a tree, a wall, or just a direction we don't need to go.
It's kind of cute now, but at the beginning it was confusing.
Her concept of time is so skewed it's mind boggling. It's caused her to be one of those people who "has their own time. Like, people add an hour to whatever time she says she'll be there.
I didn't understand it until I witnessed it for the first time when we were getting ready to go somewhere together. She thinks, Well, I just have to throw on clothes and makeup, and I'm good. So leaving in half an hour is fine." But she lets things distract her from her two main objectives, and doesn't allot any extra time for such occurrences.
For example, shell start dressing, then realizes she hasn't fed the dog; then she also realizes she hasn't eaten, so she makes a quick snack. But while doing that, she notices she hasn't taken the trash out, and if she doesn't do it now it will attract flies. Where's her coffee? Oh, she hasnt made it yet. Better do that. What's this bowl of yogurt and granola doing here? Okay, lets go. Wait, I need to bring this chair up to my mom on the way to the car. And suddenly we are 45 minutes late.
I had to lay out things with realistic times for her in order to get anything done in a timely manner.
Years and years ago, I dated a young woman who admitted that she couldn't tie her shoes.
At the time, I thought her lack of skill in that regard was somewhat strange, but it made sense when she explained it to me. She had only worn velcro-fastened sneakers as a child, and had switched to slip-on footwear once she had outgrown that particular style. Since she'd never had a reason to learn it, knowledge of how to tie shoes had simply passed her by, despite the fact that she was completely comfortable tying other knots.
Anyway, in an attempt to help her, I started giving her opportunities to tie my shoes. It only took her a few attempts before she had it down, but the practice also became a joke of sorts between us. Unfortunately, it drew some strange looks (and one curiously angry reaction) one evening, when while attending a party together I pointed out to her that my shoelace had come undone, and she immediately bent over to tie it for me. We had to quickly explain the story behind her behavior, but a handful of people remained unconvinced.
The lessons stopped after that.
She didn't know that when the dashed-line is in your lane, it's legal (and theoretically "more safe") to pass, and when it's solid, it's illegal. I'm not sure if she ever even noticed that the lines "change.
I love my little space cadet.
He couldn't spell my name right.
My name is Hazel. It's not exactly common, but it's not super rare either; English, five letters, not so bad. And it wasn't that he was dyslexic either - he had no problem spelling anything else. His text messages were all perfectly punctuated. His grammar was on point. He'd proofread my work from time to time. It's not a thing I would have expected him to have a problem with.
But in the three months we dated, I was a Hazzle, a Hazle, a Hazzel, a Hayzel and a Hayzell. Not once do I recall him getting it right. It got to the point where I thought he might be doing it on purpose, either because he thought it was cute or to annoy me, but no - it was just a complete blind spot for him.
It didn't last. (For other reasons, but... I mean, is it too much to want your name spelled right?)
He had no idea how to use a washing machine. He was 33, for the love of god! Spot the guy who only ever lived with his parents.
My wife did not know how to plunge a toilet. The first few times I was over at her place, her toilet was clogged when I entered the restroom. I figured, Hey, it happens. I'll just plunge it on the down low and save her the embarrassment."
After a couple of years and countless low-key plunges, we had to sit down and talk about checking the bowl, proper plunging technique, all that jazz. It's much better now but for a while it was this weird little secret that only I knew.
My old girlfriend had no idea how floppy discs or USB drives worked. She saved everything in My Documents and opened things from there.
She legitimately thought computers were personal - as in files could only stay where you made them.
When I stored her essay on a disc and moved it to my computer, she thought I was a magician.
My dad likes to make bread, and I gave my boyfriend (who I'd been dating for a year at that point) a loaf. We decided to have a slice, and he just cut the entire loaf in half.
He wasn't sure where to go from there. I suppose a lot of people just buy sliced bread and never cut their own!
He didnt know how to use a broom. Hes not lazy, he had just literally never handled a broom before, and he still doesn't have the motor memory for a sweeping motion. I actually kind of have to work hard not to laugh every time he does it. Its adorable watching a grown human being handling a broom like a toddler.
He didnt understand how to use a can opener! I was literally blown away. How can a grown man not know how to use a can opener?
Answers edited for clarity.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.