popular

People Share Their Best Responses To The Dreaded "When Are You Having Kids" Question

https://pixnio.com/people/parents-child-mom-dad-happy-love-son

"Practice makes pregnant."

It's a lovely night out with you and your significant other. You're attending a family party, or perhaps a friend's birthday celebration, and the everything is going swimmingly. Suddenly, a cold chill runs through the air, zapping every hair on your neck. You feel it coming towards you. Your overachieving friend Margie just needs to know when her 5 kids can have their next playdate friend. They come over and ask that question no one wants to hear. "Sooooo, when are you guys having kids!?"

What do you even say to that?


Reddit user, u/JessaBlanka, wanted to know the best answers ever given, in an attempt to help out childless couples, when they asked:

What is your best response to "when are you having kids" questions?

Let Them Know It's Not Always A Successful Process

It used to be

"When I stop having miscarriages"

Yeah its awkward, rude and impersonal, because your QUESTION was awkward, rude and too personal.

PotatoPixie90210

My husband's uncle asked and I told him flatly that we'd been trying for a while. He replied. "Too much information!!" I'm still pissed about it.

RacheyG91

Let Them Know About Your Equipment

"I'm sterile."

They even have the gall to look shocked I'd say something so personal and blunt. Like yeah, ya a-hole, that's how I felt when you asked me about my ability to have kids.

mist624

Gonna use this on m to GF's mom next time she asks.

greatzap

Let Them Know There's No More Bullets In The Chamber

My husband had a vasectomy, so probably not til my next marriage.

trexasaurusrex

Let Them Know Where Your Real Interests Are

"Actually," gazes adoringly at spouse, "we're planning on adopting a highway."

LittleVelvetBat

Let Them Know About The Hard Hours Put In

"Still practicing."

tonsofpractice

Practice makes pregnant.

TjW0569

Let Them Know To Look To The Seas

"When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves."

Suck_my_Dragons

God: Hey, you know what would be fun? Just as a little experiment?

Angel: Oh no

God: does exactly this

You: ...f-ck

Strider794

Let Them Know What It'll Cost You

"When we get sick of having all this money and freedom"

PM_CAT_PICS_

This is the best one

MichaelJFoxxy

Stealing this one.

moose6434

Let Them Know The Delivery Policy

"I don't know. They should have been here by now, I ordered them like an hour ago and I'm starving. I'll call the restaurant."

Iksbrown

That was almost a dad joke. You're a father in the making whether you like it or not.

mmgtks

Let Them Know That YOU Know

When are you going to tell your husband about your side piece?

That was my response. I don't have much of a filter for invasive stuff.

I knew about her cheating on her husband with someone. She didn't know that I knew. Shut that sh-t down fast. Also, she was a nosey a-- co-worker that ended up getting fired shortly later.

Metal2theend

Did the husband ever find out?

PlasmaPenguin82

I'm assuming so. She was the kind of person that had some sort of personal tragedy going on all of the time. Usually it was self-inflicted. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't already expect it.

Metal2theend

Let Them Know What's What

I make solid eye contact and say "You know I can't have kids. Thanks for reminding me."

Then I enjoy the silence.

I have some reproductive issues that will make having a baby really horrible and I just don't want to go through it. Neither does my husband. We plan to adopt when he's done with law school. But that's OUR business and the question is rude as f-ck, so I make it as uncomfortable as I can.

elcasaurus

I'm in the same situation. I end with a "seems like it's just not in the cards for us" with a shrug. When they inevitably bring up adoption, I let them know that it costs about $30,000, which my husband and I don't have.

PhoneJazz

Let Them Know That It'll Cost THEM

"Are you going to pay for them?"

Karanomori

This would backfire as my mom would immediately say yes.

cromulo

Let Them Know You're Missing Essential Personnel

We keep trying but it hasn't happened yet! We're both men, and it got my mom to stop asking.

DVeagle74

Let Them Regret Asking

I say, "well we're going to try tonight if you want to come watch. 7 work for you??"

We-no-nah

Let Them Know There's A Schedule

"As soon as people stop asking. Every question adds 6 months to the clock."

5secondmemory

Oh you're mean, I only add one month every time my mother asks me! Mind you, we are now aiming for 2063 based on how often this comes up.

Sarene44

Let Them Know They're Being Hurtful

I want to say something like "Who knows? Maybe if the expensive infertility treatments we've been going through work before we give up trying. Thank you for inquiring." However, I usually just say "Maybe someday" and leave it at that. I'm too sensitive (and a bit heartbroken) at this point to try to educate people that this is a very inappropriate and sometimes painful question to ask. You never know who is struggling.

emefecaJA

Let Them Know They've Gone Too Far

"I'll have kids once I find a suitable partner and am financially stable. The more interesting question is when are you going to stop being nosy, Karen?"

NebXan

Let Them Know One Is Enough

*Points to husband* "When that one grows up."

Works well when it was his parents asking...

pumaofshadow

Let Them Know The Brutal Truth

This is one of my favorite stories and one of my most cringe-worthy.

I have several family members who are religious in some fashion. I happened to be standing in a kitchen with my religious mother, my religious grandmother, and my aunt, who happened to be 7 months pregnant with her first.
My grandma was asking about my then boyfriend, with whom I had been dating for over 2 years. The usual questions popped up, like living together, marriage, etc. I am not monogamous, and was not going to tell them I didn't have plans on getting married, but was trying to just be polite about things and only give half answers.
Then the question of children comes up. I am staunchly against having any. I don't want and now am unable to have biological children. But I just say I'm not interested in having them and try to change the subject politely.
My mother sweetly goes, "well, kids just have a way of happening."
I reply, "and so do abortions."
My mother hasn't asked me since. And the subject changed after a deafening silence.




SullenEchoes

Let Them Know You're Practicing 

My mom asked me that at a family gathering in front of my my aunt. I said "We're trying, every day. Sometimes twice a day." She never asked me again

wheresmygerble

Let Them Know You're More Interested In Decor

A couple of Christmases ago I was sitting on a papasan chair at a family gathering and one of the little ones was sitting on my lap. One of the SO's relatives points out that I look really comfortable, and are we thinking about having one.

SO says "Yeah, she loves those chairs, it'll look good in the living room." Have not been asked about kids from that branch of the family since.

lillaluv

H/T: Reddit

Relationships are hard. Finances are hard. Making things work with someone from a completely different lifestyle than your own is hard. Being in a relationship with someone who has a lot more money than you can be like a perfect storm of "oh no." When that perfect storm slams into the fragile isles of masculinity and societial expectations ... well ...

Keep reading... Show less

Famous and highly regarded people have delivered famous last words on their deathbeds for ages, and we can only hope to be as eloquent as them when our time arrives. I like to think I'll be too busy concentrating on my laborious breaths to focus on whether I'm being eloquent or prophetic, but you never know.

These people have certainly made their marks on the history books.

Keep reading... Show less

Ignorance really is biased.

We always think we know what is right and what is wrong, what's the truth and what's a lie. The reality is that most of what we know is just an opinion or a partial truth that we've filled in with our own rational (or irrational) explanation. These opinions that we pass off as 'facts' are far from it and it takes a lot of courage to look at yourself and admit you were wrong or misinformed about something. Everyone likes to pretend they're on a different level, but the truth is you're not so different from the people you disagree with. Meditate on that.

Here are a some people admitting strong opinions they no longer have, and what it took to change those views. Redditor u/segafarm asks:

What is the strongest opinion you once held but no longer hold, and what make you change your mind?

Jade-Colored Glasses

I used to think that being cynical/negative was realistic and somehow smarter than being positive. I've since realized that a "be prepared for the worst but expect the best" is far better. We can't control the outcome of anything in life. Being negative makes you miserable rather than protected from bad things happening.

nanaimo

Cant' Have A Conversation With A Parrot

I used to be a conspiracy theorist. Believed that 9/11 was committed by the US government and that we never landed on the moon.

Once I started looking outside of the echo chamber I was in and started looking at alternate explanations, theories and listening to different viewpoints I soon realized how ridiculous those notions were.

Not-A-Real-Subreddit

A Big, Mysterious Universe

I used to be a strict, hardline atheist. I was the kind of bastard that would bring the subject up for no reason, just to argue. I don't know what the hell my problem was. Now I feel like, the universe is big, I don't know what all might be out there, I don't really care. I live as if there is no afterlife, because that makes sense to me. But if you don't, and you believe in one, that's perfectly fine, and maybe you're right. Who knows?

CDC_

Portrait Of An Artist As A Young Man

I used to believe anyone can be a successful artist if they just put the time and effort into it. There is no such thing as talent, only hard work.

What changed my mind: Art school. There were quite a few people that tried hard, but just weren't able to achieve professional level art.

berfica

You're Not Your Emotions

For the longest time, I thought my emotions were in a sense the most "real" part of me. I was always a very emotional person and I didn't make a real effort to control it as I thought it was a good thing, that I was just being honest with myself. Over time though, I started to become very depressed and the negative emotions just keep adding on and on. I thought "this is just how I am I guess". Unfortunately it started hurting other relationships I had, and everything changed when my girlfriend broke up with me. After a lot of reading I found that emotions are not who we are at all. They're just reactions and there's nothing that requires us to act on them or feed them. I'm learning to let it go through me instead of hanging on like I used to.

inca829

Don't Forget Big Willie Style

I used to think that hip hop was bland, repetitive, and all about clubbing and sh*t. Then one of my friends pointed me towards people like Kendrick Lamar, Eminem, Nas and Run The Jewels, who all have great songs and clever lyrics, and I realized that Hip Hop is pretty great.

6quid

The A**holes Will Always Find A Way

I used to think that the catholic church was responsible for all of the hateful people in it. I gave people the chance to challenge my opinion and someone explained it very nicely to me. Basically, the hateful people use the church as an excuse, if you remove the church they will gladly find another excuse.

TianaLeFong

High Times

Giphy

I used to tell myself that I would never stop smoking weed, and that I'd be happy if my kids grew up to be pot smokers... Now I have a kid, don't smoke, and realize what an idiot I was when all I did was smoke all day. I could probably be in a much better position if I hadn't smoked all through college.

But I mean, I still think pot's okay... Just in moderation.

edgar__allan__bro

The Road Less Traveled

"All taxation is theft, man! I made my money without any help from public institutions or the infrastructure they support, I should be able to keep every last dime of it!"

Naturally that was when I was 18, living at home rent free, and working at Pizza Hut as a delivery driver who relied upon public roads for pretty much every cent I made.

ExtremelyLongButtock

All Those PSA's Didn't Do Much

The whole D.A.R.E anti-drugs. Yes crack and heroin is bad, but they over dramatized what happens when you do smaller drugs. Weed isn't even a gateway drug, alcohol is more of a gateway drug. When I saw weed for the first time I thought it was tobacco (This was after all the D.A.R.E training too). Letting the government teach you your morales and philosophy is a thing that sheep do. Don't be a sheep.

PlantTreesForToday

Where Would We Be Without The Kindness Of Strangers

I used to think people on welfare and state assistance just weren't trying hard enough. I grew up spoiled and entitled and it seemed like any kind of charity was a stigma.

Then, my husband became chronically ill, and the economy took a shit. My family has been close to homelessness more than once, and have relied on state insurance and assistance off and on throughout the past few years. There are definitely people out there who abuse the system, but some just get stuck in a horrible cycle of poverty.

I also work in a school that has a high number low income and refugee families. It has really opened my eyes to the struggles that some people face.

BuffyandtheHellcats

He's Still There For You, The Best He Can Be

I could go through life and could seek meaningful advice from my Dad who has always been there for me.

Now he has been reduced to a feeble condition, I am starting to understand I'm out there on my own, and even what he's sure of is suspect given his mental and physical facilities have been rapidly deteriorating in his late seventies. I feel horrible that I have noticed this long before he did - or at least admitted as much.

june606

Clear Your Mind

This was before I received an ADHD diagnosis. When my doctor referred me to an ADHD specialist, first of all I refused to believe him and was kind of slighted that he even suggested that I could possibly have ADHD.

I had a very strong opinion that if I get a diagnosis that I would refuse to take prescribed amphetamines because they are "bad" and "addictive" and that they would ruin my life.

Then I actually tried the prescription and it was like magic.

Xingua92

Going Through The Whole Spectrum

Used to be fairly open with my views on immigration policy. Then I worked for a while down near Corpus Christie doing immigration work. I'd say one out if every hundred people that came through our office was going to somebody who actually wanted to work and try to make a living here. So many people simply wanted to exist enough to get welfare. Many were young men who we would later defend against exportation as a result of their criminal activity. I began to despise the work of defending these men and wished they would be deported.

Now, I'm dating a foreign girl and we are in the legal immigration process. She has advanced degrees and skills, so that makes things a little easier. But it does make me resent people who just bypass the system. We can't bypass the system because I imagine my participation in immigration fraud could get me disbarred.

RogerDeanVenture



The system we have in the US for paying our restaurant staff is...well, broken. Wait staff's income is largely dependent on what they make in tips, so if it's a slow week they may find themselves quite short on funds.

Keep reading... Show less

We thought it was such a good idea at the time, and now all we wish is that we had our money--and our time--back.

But we bought it, and now here we are, living with the pitfalls of capitalism.

Keep reading... Show less